Secrets & Lies ( The Story Of Us Series Part 1)
by lolaluvsbooks2390
Summary: H.S. A.U. A story that u will love and make you mad at the same time. Dean has a secret which he gives to Cas who then turns and gives one to Gabriel who ends up giving one to Jo. It's an endless cycle of lying and hiding stuff from each with no end in sight. A Destiel story that just keeps building. Part 1 in a four part series. Smut included. Full summary inside.
1. Chapter 1 Dean

**Summary: Dean thinks some is wrong with him. The very thing wrong with him is his best friend. Enter his best friend Cas who has a secret of his own. He wants Dean and thinks he knows what Dean needs. He tries to give Dean what he needs but is that enough. He knows dean is going threw something but how long can he accept that. He tells Gabriel who tells Jo. By telling them they end up lying. Why is it that Bella Dean's girlfriend is the only one being honest. Join Dean, Castiel, Gabriel, and Jo as they go threw high school trying to keep everything under warps. **

**Author's Note: Thank you for taking the time to read the first story. I hope you enjoy. I like to write a story that just keeps on building. SO let's treat this like it's a new TV show. Give it the first ten episodes or chapters before you decided if you want to continue I will only write from 1st pov. I hope you enjoy. Trust me this will be a story you will never forget. Hell give it more than ten chapters. You will love and hate me at the same time. This promise you . I am sorry for any ting missed during edit. Make sure you read the chapters from Jo and Gabriel's pov. They are important plus you might love their story too. But I wouldn't write from their pov if it wasn't important. **

**p.s i should warn you, I write this while i am not sober. It's the only way i can write. please take the time to read this. I edited this the best way i can. i changed it from 3rd person pov to 1st. I hope you enjoy. **

**Warning This story might piss you off a lot. Dean will especially make you mad. Jo and Gabriel are major characters too. Sam is not in this one but he will be in future stories once he gets older. **

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_Part 1: I Do kind of like you...maybe Love you_

Freshman Year

Chapter 1: September

Dean

Welcome to Lawrence, Kansas population ten thousand. We are a town where everybody has a smile of their face and love in their hearts. A town that welcomes all, where everybody knows everybody and there is no such thing as a secrets. At least that is the line we give to tourist. See we are a town that makes our revenue between the months of May and September. We are located by man-made beaches. We attract a lot of mid-west people who are too cheap to travel far. Anybody who comes here feels like this is a place where you let your hair down, relax, and not be judge, but the truth is; it's all a lie. Yes I said it, the people here are all full of crap. Everybody judges everybody and everybody has a secret they don't want to get out. If you come down here during the summer season, it's like our town is one big happy family, but once you leave, we go back to secretly hating each other and trying our best to keep our secrets from getting out.

Now that I have told you about my town, let me tell you about me. My name is Dean Winchester, my friends call me Dean. I am fourteen years old and yeah I have a secret, but I'll get to that a little later. I live in a part of Lawrence that is known as simply as The Crest. I live in a four bedroom two story house, with my aunt, uncle, and cousin but I have come to think of them as my parents and sister. My little brother use to live here too but he got a scholarship to attention some boarding school in Philadelphia, so he spends most of his time there. He does come home for holidays and school vacations. I love him dearly and will forever choose him over anybody.

I moved in with them when I was eight years old. See my mother was murdered when I was four and my dad kind of lost it. See my mom's killer walked free and that didn't sit well with him. He tracked down the guy and killed him with his bare hands. He has been in jail ever since. In case you are wondering he is severing a life sentence. A lot of people always ask me about my parents but I never tell them. I simply find a way to change the subject. Trust me it's a lot harder than it sounds. You might wonder why I don't tell them but like I said before people in this town judge you and I don't need to be judge even more. Especially when it comes to my own little dirty secret.

Now you might be thinking what so bad that a fourteen year old boy feels he needs to hide. If you ask my aunt and uncle they would sayi am too young. Oh by the way I am aure they have secrets of there own but hey I don't know and I can't tell. I have one of my own. To tell you my secret I have to tell you everything and it starts here.

It's Tuesday morning in Lawrence and my family is sitting around the kitchen table, each taking part in their morning routines. My uncle Robert Singer simply known as Boby sits at the table reading his Daily News drinking a cup of coffee. My aunt and his wife Ellen sits next to him with a plate of eggs and toast. Their only daughter my cousin or sister as I have come think of her Joanna also known as Jo sits eating a bowl of cereal. I should warn you, if you ever call her Joanna she would knock your head off. She hates it.

This how our mornings always went. We are a close family but we just aren't simply morning people. We value those quiet moments before our day starts. I value them the most especially today of all days. It's the first day of high school and I couldn't be more nervous. I was up all last night thinking how the next four years of my life would go. I never been a bad student but I never been a great one. I always found myself right in the middle. Not doing great but not doing bad either, but last night I vowed to myself that I would do things different. I would try my hardest so I could get into a good college. Yeah it might a little early to be thinking of college but hey you got to start somewhere. So anyway back to breakfast.

"Why hasn't your cousin come down yet?" My uncle says as he looks at his watch. I had come down. I had just stepped into the kitchen when he noticed that I am not there yet.

"I'm not his keeper daddy, but my guess would be he up there making sure he looks pretty for the first day of school." Jo says with a mouth full of food. For someone so pretty, she sure has no class. She is always talking with something in her mouth and nine times out of ten it's always something sarcastic. My aunt starts to say something but I clear my throat to let them know I am standing behind them.

"Dean honey what's wrong" she asks noticing the worried expression on my face as I headed to the cabinet to grab a bowl. I sworeI was hiding my nerves better.

"Oh nothing Just-"

"Just you're nervous about high school right" she asks with her warm loving smile. Aunt Ellen had that aura about her. She could make anybody feel at ease. Even a death row inmate but don't let that fool you. She always and will always have a mean side. Lucky for us it only comes out when we were royally screwed.

"Yeah I guess" I said sitting next to my pink haired cousin. I still can't get over her dyeing her hair pink. She use to have this beautiful golden hair that flowed down her back. I guess she wants to make a statement too. It's her first day too. We are only three months apart so we have always gone through school together. Even though she drives me crazy half of the time, I am still glad she will be right there with me.

"Oh just relax. I'm sure you'll do just fine." Aunt Ellen says as she rubs her hands threw my blonde hair. I have always had a low cut but somewhere in the middle of august I decided to let it grow out more. I figured it would complement my green eyes and naturally tanned skin then have a low cut.

"You should be if you're wearing that." Jo says as she poured herself another bowl of cereal. My god she eats like grown man. She could eat her weight and then some in food.

"Thanks for the words of encouragement" I said twirling his thumbs. I said it sarcastically, but I tried to make it sound strong if that makes sense. I don't want her or anybody else to know I am secretly freaking out..

"Jo, why you can't be nice to Drew" my aunt asks as she rests her head on her hand. If you don't know by now I have taken a seat at the table. Although I don't know why I bought an empty bowl to the table, I am too nervous to eat

"I'm just getting him ready for what he is about to walk into." Jo says as if she is all knowing.

"What I am getting into to? You don't even know what you are walking into." I said pointing at her. I had too. If I didn't then she would go on longer than what she was about to.

"Yes but I'm a hot chick " she said pointing her spoon at herself "Look here Dean. You're a weirdo, the sooner you accept that the better." I really hate her right now.

"Joanna Beth" Aunt Ellen says as she shakes her head. "Honestly if you can't be nice then keep that mouth of yours shut." I want to laugh, say something, or maybe even do both but I know if I do she will snap on me. Plus hearing hea ing her say Jo's full name is enough for me. She hates her name. Anytime she hears it, her teeth starts to grind. See Jo thinks her name is too old fashion and girly at the same time. She wants to be known as a girl but a sporty girl if that makes sense.

"Oh come on mom I'm kidding" she said blowing a kiss at me. My aunt gave her a look to let her know she was not amused, so she decided to keep her mouth closed. My aunt's looks can speak a thousand words without even saying something. I love it and fear it at the same time.

As we all decided to stop talking I sat there thinking about Jo's words. I wondered if there was any truth to them. Would I get picked on at school? I have always been the total opposite of my cousin. She was everybody's best friend at least I think. She never was for one to tell me if she had a problem in school. She always told me, which I guess she learn from Aunt Ellen. See I usually spent time talking about it and I got into fights at least twice week in middle school. I had always been one of the shortest guys in school which was why I guess I was always was picked on. That was then, but over the summer I grew six inches and was kind of tall now. I went from being five foot two to five foot eight. I also put on some muscle thanks to my best friend Castiel but thanks to me people now call him Cas. Everybody called him that, expect a few people but I will get to that. But me and Cas worked out every day over summer break. Now I dear somebody to say something. I also took up boxing if you haven't guessed.

The sound of the kitchen door slamming knocked me out of my thoughts. "Jeez paranoid much" Jo says eating yet another bowl of cereal. She better be careful, she might start to gain weight. Wait what am I saying, if she gains weight she might take it out on me.

"Hello everyone. I'm sorry about slamming the door. It just got away from me." Cas says in his deep voice.

"It's okay Cas but you might of scared Dean. I guess you're going to have to kiss him to make it better." She said looking over her chair.

"Hey Cas. Bite me Jo."

"I would but I don't want Cas here to get jealous" I had to just roll my eyes at her comment as I got up to grab my book bag. I was so nervous last night I left my things in the kitchen so I could be ready to go. Does that makes me dork?

"You do know school doesn't start for like another forty-five minutes and it's like a fifteen minute walk right." Jo says looking at her imaginary watch.

"Yeah I know but I wanna see Bella before school starts." Bella is my girlfriend if you haven't guessed.

"Bella, oh my god why are you still with her" she says turning to look at me. I of course was now irritated. Cas of course just stood there hoping he would not be dragged into a 'What do you think of Bella debate?'

"What's your problem with her now?" I ask

"Nothing I just think that you too aren't right for each other. Don't you agree Cas?" she says looking at him. I can tell he just wants to be left out of it.

Cas being the person that he is just chuckled at her comment as he hoped to god she would not try and force him to comment about our relationship. I can read Cas. I know him better than anybody will ever know.

"Someone else? Like who?" I ask. I have to ask her. Jo doesn't make sense at times. See I don't get it. At first she liked my girlfriend but in last couple months she had a change of heart.

"Will you get the hell out of my kitchen with this nonsense. Ya idjits " My uncle says. He really is a really a nice guy but he just hated nonsense.

"But Daddy it was just getting fun." Jo says in a pouty voice as she got up to leave the kitchen. I am so glad he said something. Sometimes I don't know when to shut up.

"See you at school" I sat as I flasha fake smile as the two of us walked out the door

**Author's Note.**

**I hope u enjoyed the first chapter. I know it doesn't tell you much but this is story you need more than one chapter to tell you the whole story. I promise you will love it when it ends, **

**also follow me on twitter akinsey_dawrite **

**I promise to update at least once a week**

**that is all see you next time make sure you review **


	2. Chapter 2 Dean

Chapter 2: Dean

I could have waited for my cousin but I just didn't want her around this morning. As much as I love her and even consider her a friend I know she would just make things worse for me. Plus I wanted to spend some alone time with Cas before I finally see Bella.

He and I walked silently for a few minutes before coming up on the playground near my house.

"Let's walk through the park" he said grabbing me by the arm. I said nothing as I just followed him into the park. As we walked through the park enjoying the fresh morning breeze blow against our faces. He stopped for a minute looking at two squirrels chase each other up a tree. It's weird that he is so quiet, usually he is always complaining about one of brothers hogging the bathroom or ate the last of something, or how his older brother kept him awake the night before because his company was too loud, but today he is quiet. Yeah normally he is quiet around other people but not me. I wonder what he is thinking. Hold on, why do I care? We're dudes and dudes don't do crap like this.

"Dude, why are you watching two squirrels play?" I ask him this hoping he would tell me what his problem is. Of course I ignore my thoughts.

"So are you excited to see Bella?" he asks ignoring my question. Typical him I guess. Maybe I should just answer his question so he doesn't see that it bothers me he ignored me.

"You bet. I haven't seen her since school ended." I say as I try to fake my excitement. That came out wrong. I am excited to see my girlfriend but not the way everybody thinks. It's hard to explain.

"I can't believe you went the whole summer with your girlfriend in another country." He says looking away from me.

You are problem thinking how can someone go the whole summer and not see their girlfriend but I did go a whole summer. See my girlfriend's family is from some town in England and every summer her father sends her there. It's his way making sure she stays connected with her roots. Well that's what she says but I think it's to keep her away from me.

See my girlfriend just moved here like two years ago and I don't remember her saying anything about her father shipping her off the summer before. But whatever, I don't care. It sucks I guess but hey at least I got to spend the whole summer with my best friend.

"I know it sucks. Her dad sent her to her aunts in thinking that it would break us up or something but jokes on him. We stayed together." I said smiling as he looked in my eyes. Funny as we talk I feel a warm feeling overcome my body. I guess I really do have feelings for her.

Soon as I finish talking, Cas is back to saying nothing. He just looks up at the sky like he was trying to figure something out.

We walked the rest of the way in silence until we reached our new school. You know how you watch those TV shows set in High School and get an idea of what it will be like. You know you walk in and see a bunch of beautiful people, dress in designer clothes. It's a bright cheery place with a bunch of posters all around advertising for different clubs or sports. Well this was nothing like that.

My new school "Central Lawrence High" was the most depressing place ever. Nobody was standing around; instead it was a bunch of frumpy people trying not to walk into each other while trying to get to class. The walls are a dull grey color that screams kill yourself. As I stand here taking in my new school that I swear was modeled after a prison, I know in my gut that the next four are going to be all but interesting.

I walk around trying to find my locker alone. Cas had went off on his own to find his own. As I turn a corner I hear my name being called in a loud shriek.

"Baby!" My girlfriend screamed as she ran and jumped into my arms. "Summer was too long for us to be apart" she said as she wrapped her short legs around my body and kissed me. I held her tight as I carried her over to the locker. I leaned her against the lockers and mauled her face. Kissing her was always an experience. It's like I never knew how much I missed her until I see her again. You know like it's exciting to do but if you didn't have it would be okay too. I hope that makes sense because it's the only way I can describe it.

"Damn I missed you" I said as I stoped for air. I could have kissed her longer but I felt my face turning blue.

"Me too pumpkin" She squeaked in an accent that she didn't have before she left. She must have picked it up over the summer. I hope she keeps it because I find it so sexy.

"Dean, you sick son of a bitch." Cas's older brother and I guess my friend Gabriel said as he came out of nowhere. "If you are going to dry hump your girlfriend on the lockers you could have sent me a text, so I could have been here earlier." He said in his playful yet sometimes annoying voice. Things are always a joke with him. If you didn't know him as well as I did, you would think he was never capable of being serious.

"Thanks for ruining the mood pervert." I say as I continue to hold her up. I know I should let her down but I can't just bring myself to do it. I might not get to see her all day and well I need more time with her like this, but it is trying holding her up.

"Anytime buddy." He says saluting me.

"You're just jealous that she is real and the closest you come having a girlfriend is that magazine next to your bed." I shot at him. I don't why we always do this. It's like we can barely have a conversation without taking jabs at each other.

"I'm not jealous. I'm just surprised. See here all this time I thought that you were lying about her being in another country. I thought she just dumped your ass."

"Ok stop" Bella says as I bought her back down to her feet. Bella is my girlfriend if you didn't know by now. "Gabriel" she squeaked running over to give him a bear hug. "How are you?" she says not noticing how uncomfortable he is.

"I'm good" he says trying to breathe oxygen into his lungs.

"Can you believe it? We're in HIGH SCHOOL!" she shrieked grabbing both of us.

"Honey you are way too loud" Gabriel said as he wiggled his finger in his ear.

"You okay there Gabe." Yeah sometime I give him a nick name too.

"I'm fine, just got this ringing in my ear now." This might sound immature but I love that she caused it.

"I'm sorry for screaming" she says as she let go of him as we walked down the hall. "I'm just so excited. We're in high school." she said twirling. "And you know what that means?" she says throwing he arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest.

"More test" I say as I started to wonder if Cas had found his locker. I wonder what his first class is. I should text him and ask. Maybe we'll have a couple of classes together.

"No silly "She said breaking my train of thought on how many classes I would share with my best friend. "Only four more years until college. Then we can be together without my daddy trying to split us up.

"You know I think I found the reason my cousin thinks I'm a dork." I say laughing trying to ignore her comment about us being together past high school. I do care for her and want to be with her as long as I can but I am not psychic. Something could happen, but I do know as long as I have control over it. I will always be with her.

"You're not a dork baby." She says standing on her tippy toes to kiss me on the nose. Yes Bella is short. She is only five foot one, but then again I'm not that tall either.

"You two make me sick?" Gabriel said faking like he was going to barf.

"Jealous" I said as I kiss her again knowing it bothers him.

"So honey how was your summer? Did you keep Jo and the boys keep you busy? I know we have talked somewhat over the summer but I don't think we talked as much as we both would have liked.

That was a surprisingly load question. Remember when I said everybody in this town had a secret they didn't want to get out. Well my secret has something to do with the summer. See Gabriel is a year ahead of us and well he dates a different girl every week. I guess that what happens when you are a pretty boy, but I am getting off topic. See since Ryan usually ditched us for some chick that left me and Cas by ourselves. Now usually that is nothing we just hang but, one night we found their older brother Balthazar's stash of pot. So being the bored teenagers that we were we climb onto his roof and smoked it. I don't know if it was the pot or a mix of it with the full moon but Cas and I kissed.

Yes we kissed and it wasn't a small peck on the lips. It was full on tongue action that lasted for like two minutes. I think our hands might started roaming at some point. But, after we kissed we pretended like it never happen. At least Cas has. I on the other hand can't stop thinking about it. It was odd but I really liked it a lot. So that is my secret I cheated on my girlfriend by making out with my best friend. Now here it is a month later and at least once a day I think about it and whenever I do a weird warm feeling in my chest comes and then guilt follows and then I kind of want to do it again. But I know it was wrong. Plus I know he probably doesn't feel that way. He is normal unlike me.

"We found stuff to do." I said hoping she didn't press for details. I am not a bad liar but I don't like lying either. At least when I can work my way around something.

"I'm glad but oh no we ran out of time guess you two will have to tell me later." She says looking at the time on her phone.

"Guess so babe" I say relieved she did not ask for details. Hopefully by the end of the day she won't remember to ask me. She'll be too busy talking about today and won't even care.

"Bye babe" She says as she jumped up into my arm's to kiss me again causing me to lose my balance but only for a minute.

"Are you going to do that all the time now?" I ask breaking away from the kiss

"Yes because you've gotten so much better at kissing. I mean you were good at it before but now. How'd you get so good?" she says smiling. Damn it there she goes asking for details

" I gotta get to class I'll see you later" I said putting her down and walking away quickly with Gabriel who had a smirk on his face. I hate that smirk; it usually means he's thinking something that will piss me off.

**Btw make sure to check out the supernaturalwholocked22 stories her stories are clever and funny**

**also follow me on twitter akinsey_dawrite **


	3. Chapter 3 Cas

Chapter 3: Castiel

They say high school will be the best time of your life but I see as four years of hell. Four years of being reminded at how different I am. Fours to remind me that I am not like my brothers. Both of my brothers are popular and have a lot of friends. All I have are two friends and my brother to get me through these next four years and I am not sure I will be able to keep my one friend.

See my dad is in the military and we moved around a lot, but since my mom dies a few years ago, he decided to not up root us and move again. That was three years ago and now I am stunk in this crappy two faced town for the next four years. That's four years of being stuck with him. When I say him I mean my best friend Dean . We have been friends since my first day of school here fours years ago. Yes we have been friends four years but I have kind of wanted to be more than friends for about two. He has no clue, even after we kissed. In a way I am glad he doesn't know. I just need to keep it that way.

At first I thought it was what I felt was normal. I mean everybody loved their best friend right, but then once he got together with Bella I started feeling this ugly feeling pull at my gut. I actually started hating her and if you know her then you know she is one of the nicest people you'd ever meet. But I secretly hate the bitch.

I have learnt to live with this feeling for two reasons. My first reason is I swore that my father would move us to North Carolina with him, but he didn't. Since my oldest brother Balthazar is over eighteen he left him in charge, but I never see him. He comes by the house every once in a while to check on Gabriel and myself but then he leaves again. My second reason being I just knew that Dean would never feel the same way, but I was wrong at least I think I am. I don't know he kissed me over the summer and now all I want to do is kiss him again. We haven't talked about it and I don't want to be the one who brings it up. I don't want to bring it up since I know for a fact I like both guys and girls he just doesn't know that. Plus I am pretty sure he just kissed me as an experiment or maybe he was high and was imaging Bella. Whatever the reason may be, I have to walk around knowing I can never be more than a friend to him.

It's alright though. I've gotten pretty good at pretending too. I have somehow manage to make it threw half of day without going crazy. Dean and I have three classes together so far and all he has talked about is his stupid girlfriend who is hard to hate. Luckily I have my brother here with me to tell him to shut up whenever he goes over broad with talking about her. I haven't told him attraction to both sexes yet but I think he somehow knows. He just gets this look in his eye when he is looking at me and Dean. The look is all knowing and he is okay with it. I should make a point to have a sit down with him some time in the future.

"Dude please, just shut up already. We get it. You missed her" See I told you. I can always count on Gabriel to help me, even when he doesn't know it.

By the way, its lunch time and Dean, Gabriel, Jo, and myself are all sitting at a table together. We somehow managed to end up having the same lunch minus that evil cunt Bella. I have to stop. She has done nothing to me.

"You know I'll let that go since you don't know what it's like to miss someone" Dean says as he takes a bite out of his chicken wrap. I sit here admiring his features as they go back and forth. It can be tiring at times with them, but honestly I find the whole thing entertaining.

"Oh see that's where you are wrong my boy. I know what it's like to miss someone all the time" Gabriel says before he drinks from his water bottle. Of course he is telling the truth. He is talking about Jo of course. Poor guy has had a thing for her since we moved here, but she never takes him serious whenever he tries to tell her. I just think that is her way of protecting herself.

"So you wanna do something after school" I quizzed after I grew bored with them arguing about nothing.

"Sorry dude but I promised Bella we hang out since I haven't seen her since June and plus I figured you be sick of me by now."

"I know I am" Gabriel interjected.

"Why?" I asked hoping he'd ignore my brother.

"We hung out like everyday" he said taking another bite. I say nothing after that. I want to press it but I don't want to come off weird. So instead I let Gabriel take over the conversation.

As we sit here listening to Gabriel go down the list of teachers of who we shouldn't piss off. Two Jock looking guys approached our table

"You think I wouldn't find out?" the one jock asks

"While hello there Raphael. My summer was fine thanks for asking" Gabriel says in an amusing tone.

I can tell my brothers tone throws him threw a loop for a minute but he remembers his angry quick as he lost it

"You think I wouldn't find out?" the guy with the ninja turtle name repeats.

"Why so serious today. Did Miranda dump you again" Gabriel asks as he peels a banana

"Why so serious? Really you got a lot of nerve asking me that after you hooked up with my girl while I was at camp." The ninja turtle says again as he balls up his fist.

"That sounds like a personal problem to me." He says with a mouthful of food. "Maybe she doesn't like the fact that her sixteen… wait are you sixteen I mean you look so much older….Any who maybe she doesn't like the fact that you went to camp and you're a grown man." Gabriel says swallowing his food.

I can tell this guy is mad. His whole face is starting to turn red and his once brown are now black. I have to give it to my brother; he sure knows how to get under people skin.

"Gabriel, why can't you just apologize to the guy so he can be on his way." Jo says. I can see in her face she is hoping he will listen to her.

"Oh where are my manner's Jo, Dean, little brother meet Raphael and Zachariah our school's very own personal douche bags" And he wonder 's why Jo won't give him the time of day.

"You know we are about sick of that mouth of yours" The guy with the Z name finally says speaking up. Great we haven't even made it through our first day of school and we already are about to get into a fight with upper classmen. Maybe I should consider making new friends so I don't have to hang around my brother the trouble maker.

"Look is there a reason for you two even coming over here. I mean it sounds like you sound be talking to your girl." Dean says rightfully annoyed.

"No one was talking to you freshman" the ninja turtle guy says threating him.

Dean stood up and got in his face. "Well I 'm talking to you."

The guy laughed like Dean just told him an hilarious joke, but I know Dean, he's kind of smart, very good with cars, has sparkling green eyes and very soft pink lips but he isn't that very funny. Yeah he has his moments but never punch in the gut funny.

"What's so funny?" I ask taking a spot next to Dean with Gabriel on my other side. I hate fighting but I am not about to let my brother and friend stand alone, even if my brother deserves what's coming to him. I have warned him to stay away from girls who are in relationships, but does he listen. But in reality I am doing this more so for Dean than my own brother. I feel the constant need to protect him.

"I think the fact that Gabriel has two freshman body guards is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time." Z named guy says

So let's fast forward to after a few insults got traded back and forth, a crowd had begun to gather around to watch the fight that was about to take place. Out of nowhere Z guy sucker punched Dean while he was focused on the ninja turtle. I should point out that I only know the ninja turtles because Dean use to make me watch them every day after school. \

Okay so once he hit Dean I was furious, I balled up my fist about to swing when I heard some yell "HEY JUICE HEAD" Followed by Jo punching Z guy in the face so hard he fell, she then turned and kneed the ninja turtle in the groin. The two jocks fell to floor while everyone watched the short girl with pink hair stand over them telling them to leave her family alone. The room fell silent as Jo threaten them with bodily if they ever came near them again . I think we all felt equal parts of excitement and fear. We all were afraid to move as we watch her kicked them each a few more times just to make sure she got her point across.

Finally some teachers came and broke the crowd up. Once Jo and the two jocks were taken away Gabriel turns to a shocked Dean and said "Dude your cousin is soooo hot."

**Btw make sure to check out the supernaturalwholocked22 stories i'm actually about to read her stories now **

**also follow me on twitter akinsey_dawrite **


	4. Chapter 4 Cas

Chapter 4: Castiel

It has been thirty-two since the first day of school but it feels more like sixty-four. After that little situation at school things were kind of different. Jo got suspended for a few days and both her and Dean were grounded. Jo was ground for of course fighting and Dean got in trouble for letting his cousin fight his battles.

Normally I would have been upset that I would get to see my friends that much, but I decided to look at it different. I decided to take the opportunity to get some distance from Dean. I needed to be able get rid of my feelings. That turn out to be a load of crap. Even though I did not see him outside of school, I still had six classes with him plus lunch. Did I mention we have a total of seven glasses on our roster? Not seeing him outside of school only made me miss him.

It really sucks when you really like someone and you know you can never have them. Especially on nights like tonight. See it's October and it's the middle of what some people call Indian summer and I am hanging out with him. We are sitting on my second story deck sharing a joint. We both said we wouldn't try pot again but I want to see if he will kiss me again if I recreate that night. It's a long shot but I owe it to myself to try. I know what you are thinking. You're thinking I'm wrong but if you really liked someone wouldn't you do the same.

"All man it feels good to be out the house." He says as he stretches out on one of the lounge chairs. I have to look away because his shirt starts to rise and I can see his bare skin. It looks so smooth and firm. I fight for control to not reach out and touch his hip bone.

"Nice to have you back buddy" I say as I take a drag from the joint we're sharing.

"I cannot believe my aunt and uncle freaked. I didn't ask Jo to step in. She came out of nowhere."

"She did. I had forgotten she was there. I guess we were moving to slow for her liking." I say as I take a drag.

"We could have taken those guys you know that right."

"Indeed we could have." I say laughing. Given the chance I might have hurt them badly. I don't like anybody messing with Dean even though I'm sure he could hold his own.

"It's just annoying you know, getting in trouble for someone else's stuff. You're lucky you know that right." He says as he connects his green eyes with my blue. I can't help but feel warmth in my face.

"How so?" I ask as I feel myself tilt my head to the side.

"It's just you and you're brothers. You are living the teenage dream. You have a whole house to yourself and no parents to tell you what to do."

"You think this is good thing."

"It's not?"

"No it is but it can be annoying at times, you know." I say looking up at the sky. The moon is full and the stars are shining bright. Sitting here with him under them makes me feel like we are having some kind of moment but who knows maybe it's just me.

"I don't know, why you don't tell me."

"Just it's a lot of pressure. We are able to stay here but we can't get into trouble and we can't let our grades slip. Dad said if one of us gets a C then we are coming to live with him." Wait why didn't I think of that. I get a C on my report card and he takes me away from him. Who am I kidding I'd still miss him. At least being here I get to be around him. That is better than nothing.

"That's not so bad."

"Yeah but Gabriel likes to test people. He could get us shipped off at any time."

Dean says nothing after that. He has this look on his face like he thinking about what I just said. I decide not to say anything else and just stare at the sky. For a while we just sit here looking up or at least we I think we both are. I am trying to not to look at him and thanks to my brother stash I am able to zone out and just look at the moon.

"Cool isn't it." Drew says breaking the silence. I turn and look at him and he is looking at me with a shy smile on his face. I'm starting to think that we are having a moment but I need quickly push it away. I want to try something but then again I don't want to freak him out.

"What is?" Damn it. I am smiling again and this time I know it's a little too hard. I just hope he is high enough to not notice.

"The moon, it's just so big and round and out there." He says looking up again

"You realize that is the beginning to the song Big Butts." I say with a chuckle

"Is it." He says with a laugh.

"Yeah." Yeah he says joining in.

"Wow I just compared the moon to a big butt."

"Hey nothing wrong with them."

"Well when you think about it's a good comparison."

"True."

He goes silent for a minute and just stares at me. Some would feel uneasy with the intensity but I welcome it. I welcome it because it gives me hope.

"You know Cas I was thinking."

"Thinking about what?" I asked a little to eager. I should calm down. HE isn't thinking the same thing.

"Well-"

Ring Ring Ring Ring

Damn it. Just when things are starting to look up his phone rings. My luck it will be Bella calling.

"Just a minute" he says as he take the phone out of his pocket "Hello"

"Deanwhere are you?" It's Jo from what I can tell. He really needs to turn his phone down I can hear her somewhat really clear

"I'm with Cas. Something wrong?" He asks looking like he was hoping he didn't have to leave.

"You mean other than the fact that you have been grounded for a month and the day you get off you spend it with Cas instead of your annoying girlfriend."

"Bite me Jo. Is this what you really called for?"

"Isn't that Bella's job or maybe you preferring Cas to do it?" I have to laugh to myself. I would bite him if he ask. I'd bite pretty much anywhere he wanted and then some. I have to stop because I am getting a little too happy if you know what I mean.

"I'm hanging up now?"

"Dean wait?" She says

"Tell me what you want or I'm hanging up." Dean barked as his irritation grew.

"Mom and Dad aren't home yet so you still have time to get home before you are caught out past curfew."

"What are you talking about I don't have to be in until 10."

"Dean its 10:30"

Wow I had no idea it was 10:30. Last I checked the time it was eight and I swear that was a half hour ago. Guess time really does fly when I am with him.

"Shit really. Okay I'm on my way." He says jumping up and hanging up his phone

"Wow we talked all night." I say trying to poke fun of the situation but I really wanted to point it out hoping he gets what I mean.

"Guess we did." He says as I stand up to meet his gaze..

We stand there look into each other eyes, saying nothing. My body goes on auto pilot and I take a step forward.

"I had a nice time. Thanks for coming" I say as I noticed he hasn't back up from the lack of personal space. Our bodies are almost toe to toe but I need him closer. All I have to do is take one more step.

"Yeah it was cool." He says in a dry whisper.

I stand there as I slowly move my arm and touch the side of his face. He doesn't pull away as I slowly caress his check. His breathing starts to pick up pace as I rub small circles on his check.

"I had a really nice time Dean. I really like spending time with" I say as I place my other hand around his waist. He still doesn't step away.

"Me too" he says. Although you can barely understand him. I think he is at a loss of words.

We stand there for a minute looking into each other. A wave of warmth comes over me threw his body.

"Umm Cas" he finally says in a low whisper.

"Shhh" I say I pull his head close to mind. Our lips are mere centimeters apart as out forehead touch. I could stay like this forever but I want to see if he will let me go all the way.

Our lips finally met for the smallest chaste kiss Ever. I pull my lips off of him as our forehead touches again. I start to go for it again but this time I want to use tongue but his phone starts to ring again.

"Shit" he says breaking of the trance and jumping back a few feet. The word disappointed would be an understatement. "That's Probably Jo I better go" Dean says before he practically runs off my deck leaving dust in the wind.

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	5. Chapter 5 Dean

NovJober Chapter 5: Dean

I kissed him again. What is wrong with me? Boys don't kiss other boys. I need to cut this out before I lose a friend. I really need to get over this. What was I thinking? Maybe it was the full moon mixed in with the pot. Yeah that is it, that's all it was. I just need to never smoke pot again and I'll never do that again. Yeah that's it, but why can't I get him out of my head. Whenever I close my eyes I see his and Bella's face before I go to sleep. I just thank god that I haven't had any dreams about him. If I did then I would be able to look at him

I'll just push thJo out; I mean is obvious that, I'm the only one who feels that way. He only kissed me because he was picking up on my vibes and he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I mean, yeah well yeah, that is why he hasn't said anything to me about it. He was just being a good friend. Plus he has red rose in his hand. Wait why does he have a red rose?

"Why are you eating lunch with a flower?" I had to ask. I tried not to ask to obvious but I think Gabriel picked up on it. God I hate him sometime. He is just sitting there with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Oh how sweet. You bought Dean a flower." Gabriel jokes. He is such a dick.

"Cas bought Dean a floor." My Jo says as she sits down at the table. "Oh how sweet. I always knew there was something between you too." Great now she is doing it.

"Ha ha very funny you two. This is not for Dean, it's for Meg." Cas says in a serious tone. I really love it when he talks like that. It's kind of cute. Dear god I need to be stopped. What is wrong with me?

Meg that stuck bitch. I know it's wrong to call to girl bitched but she is the exception. She always has something ignorant to say and thinks she's smarter than everybody. She hardly is, Jo and Bella are way smarter than she thinks she is. I swear she is really a dJoon.

"You have a thing for Meg. Meg Maters" I have to say something. I don't care at this point how it comes out.

"I think that's why he has the flower." Gabriel says. He is such an asshole. I have nothing to say to him. I just give a look telling him to shut up. Of course that will last about two minutes

"Yeah" he says as if I should have already known. This gives me more reason to push whatever I am feeling deep down.

"Why? She is stuck up."

"No she isn't. She is in my Bio class and just happens to be my partner." Again with the serious matter of fact tone.

"You ever think she's only being nice because you're good at science and she isn't"

"She is pretty smart herself"

"Is she really"

"Dean, what does it matter? Are you jealous because you won't be the only one with a girlfriend." Jo says in her mother hen voice. She always has to make me feel stupid.

"I'm just trying to look out for my friend." I say a little too defensive. At this point I don't care. I don't want him talking to her.

"Hey, I'm his big brother and if I don't have a problJo neither should you." On what earth is he the big brother? Him and Cas are the same height. Plus Cas is more mature than him. I can't tell you how many times I forgot that Cas was the younger brother.

"I intend too." Cas says as he gets up from the table. Jo had said something to him the same time I was talking to Gabriel.

Meg was standing by the Jopty vending machine talking to one of her friends. HE approaches her like he is nervous. I can't believe it. He is nervous the Cas I know is always calm and in control. I don't know what he is saying to her, but she actually looks like she is interested in what he is saying. Stupid bitch.

"Looks like it's working out." Jo says as I feel like I want to punch somebody. God I don't understand why I am acting like this. I should be happy for him. I really should, I mean she is kind of hot but all I want is for him to fail.

"Yeah, looks like Cas gone be getting the girl. Oh snap." Gabriel says as he actually snaps his fingers.

"Why are you even here? Isn't there people in your own grade you could bother or do they all want to kick your ass."

"Ummmmmm" he says as he points then places his finger on his cheek like he is thinking hard about it. "There are but I rather be with my friends with you and hang with my little brother and this vision of beauty" he says pointing to Jo. "You know I'd buy you a dozen dozen roses if you let me." God he is corny but it looks like she likes it. I thought she was smarter than this.

She just smiles as I foamed at the mouth. But this time because he is hitting on my cousin in front of me. I told him a few months ago she was off limits. All he does is uses girls and he will not do that to her. I refuse to let it happen. I know she is smarter than that but I believe after a while even she would say yes. Just because she blushes whenever she hears his name.

"Stay away from her." I say in to him. Yeah she may act like she can take care of herself but I am still going to look out for her. I don't care if we argue about it late, which I know will happen because she is giving me the I will kill you look.

"I can handle myself." But of course she snaps on me now and not the pig sitting next to her. What is she trying to prove.

"Yeah Dean. She is a big girl. She knows what she wants" he says sticking out his tongue. Again I hate him right now.

"You're right about that and it's not you. I have too much self-respect." She's lying. She might not have said it too me but I can tell she likes him too.

"Oh snap." I say returning his sarcasm. It feels a bet weird.

"Cassie sure has been over there a long time." Gabriel says changing the subject. His energy has actually gone down in the last few second. Guess Jo got to him a little. Sucks, but who cares. He kind of might be my friend but I still will kill him over her.

"You think she said yes?" I ask knowing full well she has or is going to. I know because she hasn't stop smiling since he has been over there. I am secretly hoping she is turing him down with a sick sense of humor.

"I think so." Jo says as she looks at them."

Lunch goes on and Cas hasn't returned. He actually spent the whole period talking to her. About what, I have no clue. The guy really isn't that interesting or funny. Although you'd think he was a damn comedian the way she was chuckling and turning red. What the hell I thought he was just asking her out and coming back to sit with us.

"Hey guys." Cas says as he finally returns to us. It's like two minutes before lunch is over

"Hey how'd it go." Gabriel asked a little too excited. Did I mention that he gets on my nerves?

"She said yes and she invited all of us to her cousin party right out of town. It's right off the University of Kansas campus." He says a little too excited.

"The University of Kansas! How the hell are we going to get there? It's thirty to forty minutes away by car." Jo says. I can always count on her to be the voice of reason. Like I would actually go to a party she invited us too.

"Don't worry about it. Leave it to us." Gabriel says as the bell rings. I have no idea what he mean. Cas just gives him a nod like it's all good.

"I just got off of punishment; I'm not getting back on." Jo says trying to be reasonable. She is trying to be reasonable while they are just blowing her off.

"I'd never do anything to hurt you or get you into trouble." Gabriel says with a double meaning behind it. He is just saying that to shut her up and she is buying it. Unbelieveable.

"Alright we're in." she says.

"Okay good. Now I'll see you guys later. I'm going to walk Meg to class." He says as he runs back to meet her. Seriously.

I can't believe it. Not only did Cas ask a girl out but she invited him to a party that she turned around and invited us. Plus JO said we both with go and we have no idea on how we are getting there. I know once I tell Bella she'd want to go. Today just turned out to be an awful day. But hey on a good note I am going to a college party with my friends and girlfriend. Should be fun, right? Yeah right this party is going to suck.

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	6. Chapter 6 Dean

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Chapter 6: Dean

" Dean are you going to stand against the wall all night."

I am the party that Meg invited us to. An actually raging party with booze and all I can do is stand against the wall and watch my best friend make out with his date while my girlfriend bitches I am no fun. Its official I have become some sort of creepy weirdo who does nothing but stares at his best friend.

I swear watching them make out is disgusting but I can't look away and it's not the type of making out you see in movies. It's the creepy kind where there hands are all over each other's body as she straddles his lap and if I listen close enough I think I can actually hear them making sounds. Fucking gross man. If I didn't know any better I'd think I was watching the beginning of a porno.

Okay now I know I can hear moaning coming from them. I can't be the only one disgusted by this. People are really just walking by not saying anything. Does this always go on at college parties? Is there always that couple who grind on each other and nobody cares? I bet they will when their clothes start coming off. I bet they will care when his bare smooth chest is showing and she is running her hands over them feeling the warmth of his skin on hers. I bet then she'll put her lips on his neck and slowly work her way down to his pants.

Okay I have to stop. I was just fantasying about him. I was fantasying about his naked body. That can't be normal. I was just thinking about what he would feel like when I touch him. I'm sick. I really am sick in the head. Who does stuff like this? I can't handle this. I need to be smacked. Damn it, where is Jo when you need her. Of course she ran off somewhere with Gabriel trying not to like him. Lucky bastards. I bet they don't have problems like I do.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm sorry what?" I ask Bella. I actually forgot she was standing here for a second. What kind of boyfriend am I mine. I can't be forgetting about my girlfriend, especially one as hot as mine.

"You're not listening to me." She says with cutest little pout. See this is what I need to focus on. I need to focus on her. I just need to always remind myself of her and all will be good.

"I'm sorry babe. I was too distracted by the show over there." I say as I point to Cas and Meg, but they weren't there anymore. Where the hell did they go? Did they sneak into a room somewhere? Oh wow my best friend might be losing his virginity and I am proud. I am proud and jealous. Why am I jealous? It's stupid to even ask myself that question I'm just jealous because Bella wants to were a Chasity belt for the rest of her life.

"What show? I don't see anything." Great, now she mad because they're not there. So now she is going to pretend like she isn't mad and act like everything is okay. Chicks man.

"There was a show. Cas and Meg were over there dry humping each other. I swear they were." Of course she says nothing, she just looks at me. "Babe I swear they were there dry humping each other. You just had you're back turned."

"You were watching your best friend with his girlfriend but you weren't paying attention to your own." Okay maybe she isn't going to do the passive aggressive thing. Instead she will take everything I say into turn it into something bad.

"I was just curious to see how it was going and she isn't this girlfriend." I said that a little to sharp. Hopefully she'll believe I am upset because she is mad at me.

"Not yet anyway." See she turn it into something bad. Why is that a bad thing? He can have a girlfriend. I have one. He should have one too, even if it is some stuck up demon bitch.

"Okay she's not his girlfriend yet, but what is going on with you?" Damn it maybe she see right through me. She always was smart.

"I don't know what you mean." Has she noticed? Does she have an idea about what is going on in my head? I thought I was much better at hiding it.

"Well I think you do. Ever since I got back you have been acting really strange. Has something changed?" Maybe if I play dumb she'll drop it.

"Bella nothing has changed. I know you think otherwise but I'm telling you I'm still me."

"Really" Okay now she is staring at me like she has some sort of microscope in her eye. I need to distract her. Yeah if I ask her to dance or make out with her, she drops it. So which one should I kiss her or ask her to dance. I think I'll ask her to dance. I'm not in the mood to make out, but I do need to get that imagine of Cas out of my head.

"Really"

"Yeah, now come here" I say as I pull her small body to mine. I throw up against the wall and attack her mouth. I quickly slip my tongue in her mouth as she sucks on it. Kissing her is intense but I'm not into it. I keep thinking about kissing my friend neck rather than kissing her mouth.

"Okay stop." She says as she pushes me away. I'm relieved but I wasn't into it but I thought I was doing a good job at faking it.

"Why'd you stop?" I ask trying to play dumb. She probably picked up on my vibe. God I hope not.

"You think I can't tell, when you're putting on an act."

"I wasn't. I swear I wasn't. Come on kiss me again." I pleaded. I need her to kiss me again. She has to. I need to keep kissing her until it feels right again. I need to feel right again. I need to feel normal.

"No."

"Please" I say holding my hands prayer style. She looks at me folding her arms. She is trying to give me a stern face but I can see I am getting to her.

"Okay." She says as she presses me against the wall this time. I actually like this. I like the fact that she took charge this time. It kind of feels right. She kisses me slowly. Our tongues wrestle for dominance but I eventually give in and let her control the kiss. It is starting to work. I feel the warmth I usually get from her spread through my body. I feel her body pressing against me. I am starting to imagine her taking off my clothes. I am starting to see her taking off my pants and lying on top of me. I am starting to see Cas press his on me. Damn it. I was so close.

"Sorry." I say as break the kiss.

"See what I mean." She says with a scuff. "You want me to think you are not acting weird but I know something is bothering you." Maybe if I give her a half-truth than she'll let it go. Wait I can't do that. It's weird and she'll think I'm some kind of freak.

"Maybe what is bothering me is you." I yell.

"Excuse me."

"You heard me. Trying to stand there and act all indignant. Stop trying to act like the problem isn't you."

"OH I'm the problem. How am I the problem?" I think I hurt her. She looks like she might cry. I can't take it if she does. No matter what I never want to hurt her.

"I bought you to this party to have fun and all you have done is accuse me of acting like something is wrong. Well you want to hear what is wrong. The problem is you. Okay Bella there you go."

"No don't try and flip this on me. You are the one who wanted to come here. You dragged me here. I told you to go without me but you insisted I came. So I did." Now she is more angry than hurt. Why did I keep going? I should have stopped.

"Yeah I thought maybe you could make some friends since all you do is hang around all up my ass all the time." I yelled into her face. Once I stopped I realized what I had done. I just yelled at my girlfriend for no reason. I look around to see everybody looking at us, like we were some kind of freak show. I really should have stopped.

"Well you don't have to worry about me being up your ass anymore." She says as she storms off. I know I should go after her but my feet won't move. I stand there and watch her disappear into the crowd. I know she isn't leaving. There's no way for her to get home and she won't call her parents since we are so far out. I'll just give her a minute before I go talk to her. Plus I need to figure out what I am going to say to her.

"Have you lost your mind?" a boisterous voice says behind me.

"What?" I say as I turn around to see Gabriel standing there with two cups in his hand.

"I said have you lost your mind?" he says as he hands me a cup.

"I take it this wasn't for me." I say as I chug the nasty beer.

"No it was for Jo but when I was heading back to her, I find you having a screaming match with your girlfriend."

"What's it to you?" I ask. What is it to him? What business is it of his?

"You could have gotten us kicked out."

"So"

'So…dude we are in another town. The cab isn't coming to pick us up for another two and half hours." He says looking at his watch.

"I can wait outside."

"By yourself, maybe. I'm not leaving until it gets here."

"Why is it so important anyway? You act like you haven't been to a party before."

"I have been to parties, but never one thrown by college kids. We aren't supposed to be here. Meg cousin said we can't draw attention to ourselves." And there it is. Gabriel always has a selfish reason for doing shit.

"Fine I'll just stand here and be quiet until it's time to leave."

"Shouldn't you go after your chick?" He says point to where Bella disappeared to."

"Why should I? I was in the right. She should be apologizing to me."

"You're an idiot. I didn't see her yelling in your face. I saw you and I know if your cousin was here she'd do this." He says right before as he smacks me upside my head. I should have seen that coming.

"What the fuck?" I yell at him. "Do that again and I swear I will deck you."

"Oh so you can try to kick my ass but you can't work out whatever that fight was about." I swear I hate him at times

"That wasn't a fight." Gabriel is starting to get on my nerves. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. Yes I'm pissed and I don't know why I am pissed but talking is not going to help.

"Right, look you can talk about it with me or I can go get your cousin and I have an idea that all she will do is yell."

"Where's Cas." I have to ask. Maybe if I change the subject, he will leave. Plus he has been gone a long time.

"Last I saw him he was going in a room with his date." He says with a grin. He makes me sick when he does that. He always has to show that crest smile that makes him look like some kind of GQ model.

"Why don't you just leave me alone? Go back to my cousin. I hate for her to be alone at a party where she doesn't know anybody."

"Alright" he said as he chugged his drink to walk away. "Oh" he says as he keeps his back towards me. "You might what to take your own advice. Bella is somewhere alone here too."

Stupid Bastard. Stupid pretty boy bastard. Was that his idea of trying to make me feel better or guilty? If it was then it didn't work. He just made me feel more pissed

I honestly don't know what is wrong but I am standing here, not sure why I snapped at my girlfriend and all I can think about is where my friend is. I need to get my priorities straight. I need to find her. What do I say to her. Maybe if I explain it to her but I don't explain it to her, she'll understand. Okay that doesn't make sense. Maybe I need another drink to think straight. I know I'll find Cas and ask him. He should be done doing whatever by now.

" Dean" Speak of the devil. Here he is just when I was thinking of finding him.

"Hey man"

'What's going on? Gabriel said you were about to get us kicked out." He says looking around.

"No big deal. Bella and I kind of gotten into a fight and it was little loud. I say as I notice a purple looking bruise on his neck. Not to mention his shirt is inside out. Damn that evil bitch.

"Apparently it was because he wouldn't have interrupted me and Meg and it doesn't like the sound of it either bu the sound of your tone."

"Interrupted. He interrupted you. What did he interrupt?" Like I need to ask. I know that bruise is a hickey. I wonder what else she was sucking on.

"I'll tell you later but now I need to know what is going on with you. Gabriel said I need to talk to you. So talk." I wanted to talk to him but now I don't. I don't want to talk because I'm jealous again. I just jealous he is in there getting things I don't get.

"Forget it. Just go back to your date."

"She can wait a minute. Now spill." He says as he looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes. Why'd they have to be so blue? Stop it Dean. Get it together.

"Okay." I can't deny him. I just can't. "We got into a fight. Actually I snapped on her."

"Why?"

"She said I have been acting different since I got back."

"Have you" he ask as his body stiffens. I'm not going to tell him this. The person I could talk to is the one person I can't talk to. If I tell him I risk running him off.

"You know what. I'm going to go find her and talk to her" I say hoping he will leave it there and never bring it up again.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it first."

"Nah man." I say as I hit him on the shoulder. "Get back to your girl. I'm going to go find mine." I say faking a smile.

I leave him there as I walk away as quickly as I can. That was a close one. I gotta stop. I got to figure out what I am going to say to her. Maybe I should just you know tell the truth. I can always tell her stuff. At least that is what she tells me and she doesn't judge me. At least she acts like she doesn't. She just listens and holds me and tells me things will be okay.

It take me all of ten minutes to find her.

"Bella" I say as I find her sitting outside in the cold. She is just sitting on the back steps watching a group of people hang around a bond fire.

"Go away" she says wiping her face. Oh no. She is crying. I made her cry. I am a horrible person. I can't stand to see a girl cry. It always looks so pitiful and I am the one who caused this. I have to fix this.

"You shouldn't be out here without a jacket. Come inside." I say as I stand next to her on the step.

"Why? So I can be up your ass again." She says as I sit down next to her.

"Get off of me." She says as I try to wrap my arms around her. I can tell she's cold. She is sitting there holding her body, trying to get some warmth from her purple sweater.

"I'm sorry." I say in a low voice.

"I didn't want to come here, but you asked me too. I give you your space and I say nothing. I say nothing when you want to hang out with Cas or any of your other friends. I am not up your ass all the time." She says in a serious but sad voice.

"I know" I say as she finally allows me to hold her. "I am sorry I did ask you come with me tonight and I have been acting different and I'm sorry for that. All you did was try and talk me."

"I did try to talk to you and if you are having a problem than you can tell me. I would never judge you or treat you any differently."

"I know." I say as I rest my chin on the top of her head. I am such a dick.

"So just tell me, so I can help you move past it." I'm going to tell her but I still have no idea how.

"Okay" I say as I take a deep breath. I hope she still cares and still wants to be with me after this. If I lose her I might really lose my identity.

"I'm listening." She says as she pulls away to look me in the eye.

I need to just say it, but I can barely feel myself think over the pounding of my heart. Not to mention it is now in my throat. I'm afraid I might choke on it. Okay I need to just calm down and just say it, but once I say it I might never get to take it back. What if I'm just going through a phase? I might be sick and what I am thinking and feeling might be symptoms of a brain tumor or something.

"Dean" Okay now she is serious.

"Okay….I have been acting different ever since you came back." I look at her and she says nothing. She is just sitting there waiting. "Over the summer something happen….and it kind of scares me."

"What does?" she asks confused.

"Okay….have you ever felt one way about a person and it was what you were use too. The way you felt wasn't a bad feeling. It was normal but all of a sudden one day you wake up and you feel something different."

"Different how?" okay now she looks scared.

"Good different. What you feel is different but scary and it's intense. That's how I feel. I feel an intense feeling and it scares me but at the same time I like it. It's starting to feel like a different kind of normal for me. My normal. Are you understanding what I am says? What I feel is intense, wonderful, and scary at the same time. You get it?" I have to ask because I'm afraid I'm not making and sense.

"I do actually" Thank god she understands and she looks happy. "I feel the same way. I was just waiting for you to say it first." She says as she hugs and kisses me.

"You do." I'm really confused.

"Yes and I love you too, but you didn't have to be a jerk." She says as she smiles at me and gives me a playful push.

Love, did she just say love. OH no, I didn't think it was possible but my life just got worse. She loves me and I am having strange things happen to me. No, this can't be happening. I think I'm going to be sick. What am I going to do? She loves me and I am not sure if I love her. Yeah sure I like having her around, and she makes me laugh and smile, and we get along great. She is always there for me when I need her. Okay maybe I do love her. Yeah I do love her and I know she will help me get over whatever is going on with me. I love her and not anybody else if I keep saying it will come true. Plus I do have love for her, it's only a matter of time before I fall in with here.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk. I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Well tell me now."

"Will you come back inside?"

"I sure will."

"Okay then Bella Talbot "

"Yes Dean Winchester "

"I love you" and nobody else

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	7. Chapter 7 Cas

**So i will go on hiatus for a while very soon. It won't be two long up to two weeks. So you should subscribe and review. It will only make me update sooner rather than later. I'd say around chapter 10 i will take a break **

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December Chapter 7: Cas

I usually hate Christmas. I have hated Christmas since I was nine years old. That's year I like to refer to as the year without Santa. Rather I call it my first year without Santa. I use to love this holiday. My mother was really into it. It would be the day after Thanksgiving and she be dragging out our white Christmas tree. She never wanted a real one. She would tell us that it was silly to chop down a perfectly beautiful tree just to hang decorations on only to throw it out before it died. No she like faked ones because they last forever.

My mother always had the biggest spirit. Every weekend we'd listen to Christmas music, bake cookies, cakes, go shopping. That is what we would do on Friday and Saturday, and on Sunday she's make us go through our stuff so we could donate it to certain charities. Actually she made us do it all year, come to think of it. Still it was part of our Christmas tradition. My mother was the best and so was my father. He would be right there with us. That's when we were a family, but then she died.

"My mom died and it sucked. My father tried to keep her alive for us but he failed. He realizes the best thing he could do for us was to just move on but eventually move on meant move away from me and my brothers. But he made the decision of moving on the day after Christmas or maybe it was Christmas. I have no idea really.

He did however tell me that I helped him get there. See right after my mom died my dad took me to see Santa. When I got on his lap, Santa asked me what I want for Christmas and I told him I wanted to spend time with my mom. Santa of course probably thinking she worked a lot, told me not to worry, she be there on Christmas. So imagine my heart break when I wake up to find all the things a regular child could want but not my mom. I cried that day. I think I cried all day. My dad and brother tried to comfort me but I wouldn't let them. I crawled under my bed and refused to come out. It wasn't until my aunt walked into the room with shoes like one's my mom use to where, so naturally I came out thinking it was her. When I saw that it wasn't her, my heart broke more. I just knew it was her. I just knew my mommy had come back to me, but she didn't. I tried to run back under the bed but my aunt was quick in grabbing me. She put me down on the bed and held me until I stopped crying. Once I stopped, I told her what I asked Santa for. That's when she left and had my dad come in and tell me that I would never see my mom again. I kind of hate my dad for that. Who tells a kid something like that on Christmas? He should have made sure I understood death when she first died so Christmas would just a jaded day now.

This year though, I think will be different. For one my dad isn't here. I love my dad and miss him a lot but I always hate him around this time of year and with him not being here I feel a little bit better. Does that make me a bad person? Second reason is because I think my mother possessed Gabriel . A couple weeks ago he woke and was in such a cheerful sprit. He is always cheerful but now it's like he took a double dose of something because he has went a bit over board. One Saturday I wake up and he is blasting Christmas music, baking cookies and decorating the house. At first it was strange but once I saw the white Christmas tree I felt better. She always wanted a white Christmas tree never green. I think he feels the same way about my dad but I don't want to ask him. We never talk about our mom. My third reason for being happy is because well we and when I say we I mean my brother and I are spending Christmas with Dean and Jo's family.

"Happy Christmas" my oldest brother Balthazar says as he hands us each our presents. It's the first time in a month that we have seen him. He goes to school in the next town over. It's the same school we attended a party not so long ago. I expected to see him there but of course he wasn't there. In a lot of ways he is like my dad. So we don't see him much. He comes home when he can but it's usually just me and Gabriel as of lately.

"Awl Balthazar you shouldn't have" Gabriel says as he shakes the square box.

"Gabriel is right. Thank you for getting us presents, it was nice of you but just having you home for Christmas is good enough." I say as I place my gift under the tree with all the gifts certain family who were too busy to visit sent us.

"How could I not buy my little brothers gifts?" He says with his winning smile. People say we all have nice smiles but his is the best. His smile always makes you think you can trust him, but half of time you can't. Well if you are Gabriel or me than you can but anybody else, well it depends but usually no. Especially if you are a hot female.

"I don't know, how can you leave your teen brothers unsupervised, when you promise dad." Gabriel says as he sucks on a candy cane.

"Are you actually complaining?" Balthazar asks. I am actually thinking the same thing. I never would think Gabriel of all people would have a problem. I certainly don't. I like living like this but I would like to have my brother around more but I do miss my dad at times.

"No I'm saying what if Dad pops up and see's you're not here. You know he only did this because he thought you'd be around more." Gabriel says

"Oh I get it now. You're just being a little bitch." Balthazar teases.

"I am not." Gabriel says as he sits up.

"Fooled me" I added.

"Right I'm the bitch because I am actually thinking ahead." He says as we laugh at him. "If you guys don't shut up, I won't show you what I bought Jo and Cassie 's boyfriend for Christmas.." He says causing us to stop.

"Boyfriend? Did you and Dean finally get it together" Balthazar says as he looks at me. Why would Gabriel say that? Has he seen me checking Dean out. I thought I was being careful. I know I am bisexual but do they know. Do they know that and possible that I have a thing for my best friend. . I know it is a very stupid thing since he doesn't feel the same oh and he kind of likes girls for sure. I know it's stupid to want him but that's why I got a girlfriend. I got a very pretty girlfriend who is easy. I never thought in a million years I get that lucky but hey, it's nice to have some things work out.

"Very funny" I say as I wonder if I should tell them. I mean it would change the tone of Christmas forever with us. And I know that my brother will be okay with it. They have to be, it's just who we are. We accept people from all walks of life but would it be sudden.

"Oh come on, you two spend a lot of time together, it's fun to poke fun of. If I didn't than I might feel left out." Gabriel says

"So and you are the one who keeps trying to get Jo alone. I'm just helping you out."

"I'm sure you are."

"You haven't given up on her yet." Balthazar asks in amazement. Sometime it's sweet how much he chases after her and sometime it's scary.

'Hey if you came around more you would know."

"Okay so what else have I missed?" This is my chance. It's an opening to tell them. It's now or never.

"I'm bisexual." I blurt out. I kind of want to take it back now. I should have thought about it some more. Maybe I should of made sure. I feel stupid now. How can one day I wake up and say hey I swing both ways and they be okay with it. Shouldn't I be more on the fence about it? Why is it so easy to say? I guess I have my mother to thank for that.

"What" they both say.

"You know I swing both ways. I like vagina and penis, but I have only had vagina." I don't bother to mention Dean. I have no idea what to say about that yet.

"Are you sure?" Balthazar asks

"Yeah Really Cassie Are you? Like you just said you have only been with a chick. Have you ever been with a guy?"

Now this is hard. Dean and I never talked about it and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me telling people. But Balthazar is mainly at school so he could tell someone but what would they would care, but Gabriel . I don't know. He has a habit of not letting Dean live stuff down.

"Well have you?" Balthazar asks breaking my train of thought.

"Yes." I say a little uneasy.

"Okay either you are lying or there is more to the story." Gabriel says looking at me.

"Look it doesn't matter okay. Are you okay with me being like this or not."

"Doesn't bother me." Balthazar says sitting back.

"Okay with you Gabriel ."

"I don't care but if you were gay that would mean more chicks for me." He says laughing. Thank god I have such an understanding family. I know most people aren't lucky enough to have it go so smoothly.

"But I still wanna know who the guy is." Gabriel asks.

"What guy?"

"The guy you did stuff with?"

"Look I didn't do stuff, we just kissed okay. End of story." How does he know there was a guy?

"Come one tell us?" Balthazar asks.

"Oh would you look at that. Time to get over to the Dean's house." I say looking at my watch.

You would think that would be the end of it, but no it isn't. Balthazar saw I didn't want to talk about it anymore so he let it go, but Gabriel . The ever so persistent Gabriel kept asking. I was ready to choke him by the time we go to the front door of Dean's house. He's lucky Ms. Ellen opened the door when she did cause if she didn't I might be going to Jail for trying to kill my brother.

Soon as I entered I said my season's greetings to Mr. Bobby , Jo and Dean's little brother Sam before I went upstairs to find Dean. I know it's stupid but I couldn't wait to give him his present. It took me a month to figure out what to buy him. I shouldn't be this excited and I shouldn't have a crush on him but I can't help it. I want to make him happy.

"Merry Christmas." I say in my most cheerful voice as I charge threw his door. He doesn't hear me. He has he back turned with ear phones on. He is sitting Indian style as he wraps his gifts on the bed. I want to go over and warp my arms around him and kiss him wherever he will let me but I refrain from doing so. Instead I walk over and tap him on the shoulder.

"The hell?" he says turning around a little scared. He won't admit it but I scared him a little.

"Did I scare you?"

"No" See I told you he wouldn't admit it. It's okay though. It's adorable how he acts brave.

"Sure" I say as I fall across the foot of his bed."

"Yo watch it. I have some breakable stuff here."

"Like what?"

"Like candles for bought for Bella."

"You bought your girlfriend's candles for Christmas."

"Yeah she's into aroma therapy and what not."

"Isn't that thoughtful" I teased but I secretly hope he put more thought into mine.

"Shut up" he says as he hits me with a pillow.

"Or I could just give you your gift." I say as I grab the pillow and put it down. I then pick his gift off the floor. I put it there before I tap him on the shoulder.

"Ummm" he says like he's pretending to think about it. "I'll take the gift "he says as he takes it out my hand. "What is it?" he says as he shakes the box.

"Here's an idea, why don't you open it instead of shaking it." I love our back and forth. I think that is what me and Gabriel have in common.

"Oh is that an order." He says as he looks at me. I wish he wouldn't look at me. Whenever he looks at me I feel my face turn warm. I think might be blushing and I don't usually blush. If I am I hope he doesn't notice.

"And if it is." I ask trying not to get lost in his eyes.

"Well then I might have to shake it some more." He says as he starts shaking it some more. He is such a smart ass.

"Hey" I say I as I try and wrestle the box out of his hand.

"Stop" he says as I pin him down. I like this. I love being on top of him. A lot of my fantasy's start out this way.

"Say uncle." I tease as I put my weight on top of him. I have his arms above his head restrained in my hands. He looks so sexy like this.

"I will if you get off." He says laughing as he wiggles beneath me.

"That's the whole point of uncle." Truth is I don't want to get off. I like having him pinned under me but this is wrong. I shouldn't be doing this. I need to get off. My pants are starting to grow.

"Okay Uncle." I am both relived and sad that he said uncle.

"Give me that." I say as I snatch the gift from his hand. I roll over to the the right side of his bed as he moves to the left but I swear he is still close to my body. I might be imaging things.

"I had no idea you were so strong." He says as he sits up.

"Well we did lift weights over the summer."

"True…. So are you going to let me open my gift or are you going to keep it."

"That depends."

"On what."

"Well let's see" as I look at the gifts he was wrapping. They were once on the bed but now they are on the floor. "Are one of those gifts mine."

"Nope"

"So you didn't get me anything." I pretend like I'm sad but I'm not really. I know he doesn't have much money and might have spent the little bit of allowance he has on his family and girlfriend.

"I didn't say that." He reaches over to get to his night stand. I have to behave because his reaching over me gives me a peak of his bare skin while I can smell whatever body wash he is wearing. I can tell is some kind of fruit, maybe melon. Must be it's Jo's. "I got you this." He says as he sits back up.

"What is it?" I say trying to take it but he snatches it back.

"Oh no." He says holding it over his head. "You'll get yours when I get mine." He has no idea what that could mean to me.

I know it might be in my head but it kind of sound like he was flirting with me. This whole thing feels different and it is making me trying to bury my feelings harder. I know he isn't flirting with me and I know that my feelings are one sided but damn it if doesn't feel like something is here.

"Okay how about you get yours first then I'll get mine." I say. Yeah in my head that didn't sound right. That's how I want it all the time if he let me.

"I can do that or we could just you know at the same time." He says. Even better. I need to stop now. It's taking everything in me not to get hard.

"I can do that." I say handing his gift over.

"Sike" he says as he sits on my gift and takes mine. I should have seen that coming.

"My gift better not break since you got your funky ass sitting on it." More like delicious. I really need to stop.

"Yeah Yeah." He says as he unwraps the gift. I wait on the edge of my seat for his reaction. Like I said it took me a month to find it and I ended up having to order it off the internet. I had to use my emergency credit card. My dad is going to freak but it's all worth it if he likes his gift.

"Well." I asks when I notice he is just staring into the box.

"Tell me this is a joke. Tell me that this is not what I think it is." I think he might like it.

"It is. Do you like it?"

"Like, I could kiss you right now. How'd you afford this?" He says as he pulls the Vintage Super Nintendo out of the box.

"That's my secret. Just enjoy." I say wishing he really kiss me but he won't and I have got to accept that. He has kissed me before but not while sober. I would be disrespecting him and our friendship if I cross the line again. He allowed me twice while under the influence but I bet he won't be so nice about it again. Plus I really don't have that many friends.

"Not only did you get me the system but you got me Super Mario All Star." He says smiling at me. His smile just melts my heart. Damn it again. Maybe after today I can avoid him for a week. Yeah I'll just do my own thing until we go to that New Year's Party.

"You're Welcome." I say but trust me I want to say and do more.

"Thank you, but seriously how did you afford this? The game alone must have cost you a hundred dollars on eBay."

"Can you stop asking me about the price and just enjoy your gift." I don't want to talk about how I afford it. It doesn't matter.

"Fine but if you got me this I wonder what you got your girlfriend." He says as he puts the game down and hands me my gift.

"I got her something special." I say as I open my gift.

"Like what."

"Oh something she is going to love." I'm lying. I got her a sweater from the Guess outlet in town. I admit I didn't put much thought into her gift but it's not because I don't like her. I really do like her maybe not as much as him; I just don't know her as well. We don't really talk much when we are together. We just do other things.

"So do you like what I got you. I know it's stupid." I almost forgot to look at my gift. I am just happy he likes what I got him.

"No it's not I like it." I say as I look at the Dvd he bought me.

"All four Pirates of the Caribbean on one DVD. I love it. It's my favorite film series."

"Aww aren't you two just the gayest." I hear from behind us. I look over and see Jo standing there I wonder how long she has been there.

"Jealous cause he got me an awesome gift and he and Gabriel probably bought you gift cards." Dean says standing up.

"Actually I think Gabriel out did him this year." She says as she shows us her necklace.

"He bought you that." Dean says as he get up to walk over and taking a look at the white gold locket encrusted with diamonds. Of course she doesn't know. Gabriel would never buy her anything cheap but never buy her anything too expensive to raise questions. We can afford better quality but we would never tell how.

"Yup, it's it beautiful. Of course he glued a picture of himself in there, so I can't remove it. But I don't care; it's so pretty I'll wear it anyway. I just hope he didn't spend too much money on it."

"Why can't your family just accept a gift? Can't you just say thank you." I say trying to get their mind off the subject of money. I know that their family is well off but they still try not to spend too much money.

"Fine we'll drop it. Right Dean." She say in an over bearing mama voice.

"Right." He says that but I think if we keep spending money, more questions will arise. I should have a talk about how we should cut back.

"Good"

"Did you come up here for something or did you just come to show off your fancy new locket" Dean asks like he was a little annoyed she came in. Maybe I am just imaging it.

"I'm sorry were you two making out, I can always come back" she says as she moves her fingers between Dean and me.

"What did you need?" I ask before her and Dean starts going at it. They are close but that still doesn't stop them from time to time at going at it.

"It's time for dinner."

"Fine we'll right down."

"Fine." She says giving us a look before she leaves the room.

After she leaves a feel a feeling known as awkwardness comes over us. At least in my mind it is. He might not feel the same way. I know he doesn't have the same thoughts as me.

"So dinner time." I say trying to break the awkward tension I'm definitely sure my mind has created.

"Yup then after dinner we can exchange the rest of our gifts."

"Sounds good." I say before we leave the room.

The rest of the night is filled with me inside my own head. I swear I spent the entire dinner thinking Dean was sneaking glances at me. Or maybe it was him noticing me looking at him. Either way it's not good. I really am going have to avoid him for a while. At least until I can get my feelings in check again. I can't keep doing this.

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**p.s i am done changing the name i pinky swear**


	8. Chapter 8 Dean

**A.N. Hello my reader. I want to think you for the views. I am two chapter away from going on hiatus. If you want to know what happens after that then you should review. I might not update after that if there no reviews. Just a thought. Anyway who enjoy. **

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Chapter 8: Dean

I'm a freak. I'm a disgusting freak. I can't stop thinking about Cas in ways I should be thinking about my girlfriend. Sure I love my girlfriend… I think. She's the sweetest smartest girl I know. I hear a lot of guys saying how sexy she is and wouldn't mind taking a run at her. I am lucky to have her. I do really care about her and don't want to see her hurt but why do I have to think about him too.

I want things to go back when he didn't invade my thought every five minutes. Problem is ever since I started thinking about him I can't think of a time when I didn't feel this way. Oh god what am I feeling. Okay now I am being dramatic. It's not that serious right. I am Dean Winchester. I have a super-hot girlfriend who makes me laugh and my best friend name is Cas. See I'm normal. Everybody cares about their best friend a little more than other people. That's why you call them your best friend.

So if that's the case, why can't I stop thinking about Christmas? I can't stop thinking about how he was on top me. He had his weight on me and I liked it. I liked it a lot. If he didn't move when he did I think I would have gotten a boner. Okay I am lying I had a boner I wasn't just that hard. It felt like that. It felt like all my blood was starting to leave my brain. I actually couldn't think. But I could think, I thought about kissing him. Kissing him because he got me the best present I ever got, kissing him because his lips are so full and pink, kissing him because it might make me happy. Then I had to go blurt it out. I am so lucky he didn't think much of it. That would have been weird if he had.

Now if things didn't get any stranger with me, I actually was mad that he went over a week without talking to me. It's like I became some chick who started going crazy because her boyfriend disappeared on them. After he had Christmas dinner with us, I did see him at all. Whenever I called he never answered, oh but I did get a text. Very few worded text every few days. Every time I would ask him what he was doing he'd say he was with Meg. He was with Meg. What kind of stuff is that? I have a girlfriend but I make time for my friends. I manage to hang out with Gabriel and Jo this week. Of course not every day because I had to spend time with Bella but still I made time for my friends. Okay I am doing it again. I'm sounding like some crazy whiny chick. I have to stop. I should just be happy that we are all together now.

It's New Year's Eve and we are at Gabriel and Cas's house pre gaming before we go to this New Year's Eve Party. Of course Cas invited Meg to come along.

"Why are we drinking now? Can't we drink at the party?" Meg asks in her stupid know it all voice.

"Balthazar said we might not be allowed to drink. We are allowed to come to his friend's party but he says there might be some checking Id's at the bar."

"He's eighteen. How is he going to drink?" Jo asks as she drank a shot of the disgusting brown liquor, Gabriel somehow manage to get."

"Fake Id beautiful." Gabriel says. I was wondering how long it takes him to give her a compliment. He really can't go a whole hour without telling her how beautiful she is and it has been an hour and two minutes. Yes I timed it. It's the only way it becomes amusing.

"Okay so how we getting in." I ask.

"He's sneaking us in." Cas says

"To bad Bella could be here tonight." Meg says. How dare she bring my girlfriend up? Who the fuck she think she is. Is she implying that I rather be with Cas and the rest of them than her. That bitch.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I have to ask. I don't care if I sound rude.

"Nothing I'm just saying. I really like her and it would have been nice to hang with her tonbight.." Does she think I don't want to hang with her.

"Yeah well I really like her too. In fact I love her."

"I'm sure you do. She is your girl." She says with a small chuckle. Is she making fun of me? Is she trying to play me? That evil bitch!

"Yeah she is my girlfriend and has been for a long time. Not like how you only been together with Cas here for all of five minutes." There I told her.

"What's your deal?" She asks like I am offending her or something.

"I don't have a deal? What's yours?"

"I'm really not following."

"Oh don't play dumb. You are trying to play me because my girlfriend isn't allowed out on New Year's. You think it's so funny how I am the only who doesn't have anybody to kiss at midnight." She really has some nerve sitting there as if I am catching her off guard. Everybody knows that Bella dad is strict. She isn't allowed do as much as most of us.

"I didn't say that. You are putting words in my mouth… He is putting words in my mouth." She says as she looks to Cas to defend her, but he hasn't. He would go u against me. If anything he will take my side. It's just what we do.

"You didn't have to. You said it with your body language." I say trying to prove my point, but I will admit that everybody else is giving me a look of confusing and what the fuck?

"Dean I think you need to calm down." Cas says. He is trying to defend her. I don't believe it. How can he take her side? I officially hate him now.

"I am calm." I say but I'm not. I am highly irritated mostly with him now. He has barely said anything and I am the most annoyed with him. It's his entire fault really. If he didn't bring the demon bitch then we would even be in this situation.

"No you're not. You are actually ruining the vibe." Gabriel says as he tries to put in his two cents. Who asked him?

"Who asked you?" I say out loud this time.

"Dean you need to calm the fuck down." Jo says.

"Oh great little miss know it all has to add on. Why don't you mind your business Jo?"

"Dean stop it. You are getting upset for nothing. Meg did nothing or said nothing to you." Cas says. He really is taking her side.

"She is mocking me."

"Mocking you? All I said was it's too bad your girlfriend couldn't be here." Now she is trying to make me feel stupid. Well I got news for you honey. It's not gone work. She can pull that whole hurt person act on something else.

"Right and in doing so you are implying that my relationship is a joke."

"I did no such thing."

"You lying bitch you did so."

"Bitch" She says offended. Okay now I know I really crossed a line. I shouldn't have called her that at least out loud, but she is really bothering me by just breathing.

"Okay now you have crossed a line." Gabriel says standing up. "Dean you need to chill. Cas handle this. The girls and I will walk to the party and you two can meet us there." He says pointing at me like I am some child who can't behave. Fuck him too.

"I have a name and it's not this."

"No it's just jackass." Jo says as she stands up to put on her coat. Of course Gabriel is helping her put it on. Why doesn't he just give it up already? He likes her but she will never feel the same way. Doesn't he know is a lost cause with her.

"I don't want to go anywhere he is going." Meg says.

"Oh come on Meg. You can't let this fool ruin your night." Jo pleaded. I just love how these two are becoming friends. Soon they will be best friends forever.

"Fine I'll go but I don't want him nowhere near me."

"Deal." Gabriel says as he motions for them to head for the door.

"I'm really sorry about this. I'll straighten him out and then I will meet you there." Cas says as he stands up to walk her out.

"Hurry." She says as she gives me a look before kissing him. I swear she knows what she is doing. It's like she knows me seeing her kiss him bothers me.

"I will. Promise." He says as he hugs her.

I hate her. I don't get why they all like her. She isn't that nice. Sure she pretends and fools everybody but I see her for what she really is. I see her for the black eyed demon she really is. I need everybody to get this.

"Okay what is wrong with you." Cas turns and says to me after everybody else is gone. He looks pissed and I kind of like it. His face has red spots and he looks like he is ready to smite. God what is wrong with me. MY best friend is ready to smite me and I just want to be smote by him in every way if you catch my drift. No stop it. I have to stop. I don't want him in any way. That would be wrong.

"Nothing." Really nothing is wrong with me now. Now that the she devil is gone I am fine. I just wish she could be gone all the time.

"Please don't try and insult my intelligence. You disrespected my girlfriend, your cousin, and my brother."

"I did no such thing. I just called everybody on their bull." I say as I folded my arms.

"Are you seriously going to sit there and fold your arms and pout like a six year old." Yup

"You didn't have my back."

"What" he says like I am frustrating him. He signs as he rubs his face. It's really weird that I find this situation hot. I like pissing him off. "I did not have your back because you are wrong." He says as if he is trying to be patience.

"I am not wrong. She is wrong, she pointed out the fact that my girlfriend was not here."

"She isn't here." He yells just a little. Damn it's hot. Damn it there I got again.

"I know." Now he is saying nothing. He is looking at me with frustration in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it before anything is said. I stand there holding my ground. I refuse to acknowledge I am wrong and he refuses to say I was right. Looks like we are at a standstill.

"Okay if I am going to sit here and listen to you whine, like some chick then I am not doing it sober." He says before he disappears to his room.

Wait he called me a chick. I am not a chick. I am not whining I am just simply stating how I felt and refuse to apologize for it. Okay wait I am acting like a girl. Damn it. I'm doing it again. I am acting like a freak again.

"Okay" he says reappearing with a wooden box. That's the box he keeps his weed in. "Before you say anything I need to smoke this."

"Fine" I say as I turn my head to look the other way. I can't smoke anymore. With the way I am feeling plus him being right next me and add on the drinks I have already had. I might do something stupid, like kiss him again.

"Here" he says trying to hand me my own personal joint.

"No thanks man." I say pushing it away.

"It's not up for discussion. You need to mellow out; you pretty much ruined any chance of me having sex tonight. So you are going to smoke this whole joint and you are going to calm the hell down." Wow. Is it weird I like how he told me what to do? His voice sounds demanding and controlling and it is sending chills up my back. I need to be smacked but only by him.

"Fine" I say as I take the joint and light it. Maybe if I don't inhale then I might have some control.

"You will smoke the whole thing and say nothing until you have finished." There he goes giving orders.

"Yes sir." There go those chills again. I wonder if he is like this with Meg. As bossy as she is, this probably his only way of release.

So for the next fifteen minutes we sit there quiet smoking our joints, watching the smoke move through the room. I know I said I wouldn't inhale but I did. It's a habit plus I like the feeling of getting high.

"You good" he finally says.

"I'm good." I say lying. I am actually freaking out. My heart is racing super-fast. I feel like it's about to jump out my chest. I am fighting the way I am feeling but I feel like I everything is multiplied. I can't take this, I have to get control.

"Talk to me." He says looking at me with those pretty blue eyes. I can't figure out what shade they are. I know what shade Bella eyes are. There are grey. Just grey nothing extra about them. Her eyes are warm and kind but they don't sparkle like his. OH god did I just say his eyes sparkle.

"Dean" he says interrupting my inner freak out.

"What?"

"What happen?"

"What do you mean what happen. Nothing has happen."

"So nothing has happen in the last week that would cause you to freak out on my girlfriend for saying something innocent."

"It wasn't innocent." The more I think about it. The more I realize it was innocent. She didn't mean anything by it. She was just bothering me.

"Did you see your dad?"

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"Whenever the subject of your dad comes up, you get moody, weird, and angry."

"I am not weird. Okay I am normal just like you." I say a little too fast and angry.

"Okay calm down. I am not saying that you are weird. Just some of the things you do can be weird whenever it has something to do with him." He says slowly and patiently.

"I'm sorry."

"Okay now we are getting somewhere." He says with a sexy giggle. Damn it I did it again. I'm not supposed to find his laugh sexy.

"Can we go now?" I ask in a childlike voice.

"Not until we get to the bottom of what is wrong with you."

"Isn't this Jo's job."

"Yeah but you kind of pissed her off too. So either you talk to me or you'll be by yourself tonight."

"How? If I am at the same party as all of you."

"Yeah but I bet she won't talk to you."

"Why?"

"Okay I see this going to take a while." He says as he grabs the bottle and pours us both a drink. "Here" he says handing me the glass. "Drink."

"Cheers" I say holding up the glass before I chug the nasty burning liquid.

"Ready to talk" he says after I finish my drink.

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Okay you say that but I don't believe that."

"Okay why can't you leave it alone?" I say angry he can't move on.

"If you don't get over your issues about your father or at least work through whatever he has caused than we can't go to the party." Okay now I'm pissed.

"Will you stop bring up my father and stop acting like you are him."

"So this is about him."

Why just why? Why is he doing this? I thought guys don't sit and talk about their feelings. Why can't he just leave it alone? I can't tell him what is wrong without scaring him off. At least I think that is what. He is my friend and I can't tell him I think about him in ways friends don't and plus he is really asking me mad. I snapped on Meg so what. She isn't right for him. Maybe I should tell him, but he is getting laid. I mean what ninth grader you know is having sex if I say something he might get mad and stop talking to me.

"No this isn't about him and while we are on the subject why do you keep asking me about my dad. Maybe the problem is your dad." I say frustrated.

He looks at me while he pinches the bridge in nose while inhaling. He looks like he is frustrated at me, but he says nothing. He looks at me again and takes another deep breath. He runs his hand from his forehead to his chin. I think he is getting upset. I don't want him upset .

"I don't understand what my dad has to do with anything." He says ever so calm.

"Maybe your pissed he left you here in this horrible town. I know you have issues with your own dad. So why don't you stop trying to make your issues my issues."

"Dean Maybe you should quit whiles you on a roll." That sounded real serious.

"Why?" For a minute it looks like he is going to punch me. I see I hit a nerve. Which is good because I am sick of him trying to talk to me?

"Forget it okay. Let's just sit here quietly and drink and watch one of the many New Year's Ever Specials. He says as he flips on the tv.

Finally he gives up. I feel bad for bringing his dad up. I know he has some issues with his dad and it wasn't right I should apologize.

"Let's do that…and I'm-"

"No more talking" he says cutting me off.

I say nothing because I know I have been a dick tonight. What should have been an epic night between friends got ruined because I turned into a huge jerk? Maybe I should just be quiet until he is ready to talk again. Man for a dude he is real chatty like a chick so it won't be long.

So we sit there watching TV. I'm getting so drunk that I can't even tell who is singing, or rather if they are singing or rapping. All I can here is the beat of the music. I feel it rushing threw my body uplifting every emotion. I want to lie down but I don't want to sleep through the New Year. I ruined our chances of going to an actually party. The least I can do is wish Cas an happy new year. But he has other plans.

"Okay it's time for bed." He says as he helps me stand up. I wish he didn't do that. As I stand I feel blood rushing to my head and I become dizzy. "Careful" he says as he catches me. Now I wish he wouldn't do that. The blood that once was rushing to my head is now rushing to other places. He has his hands on my hips as he helps me walk. His hands are kind of soft for a guy. At least I think they are soft. That could just be my mind playing drinks on me.

"I can walk myself." I slur as I try to break away from him, but he is stronger than me, soon as I break free he grabs me again pulling me closer to him.

"Sure you can, but I want to make sure you don't fall." He says a little too close to me ear. Is he flirting with me. Does he know I secretly like him touching me?

"Whatever." I say as I notice he moves a couple of inches from me. His hands are still on me but the rest of his body seems so far away. I miss the warmness. Even though I only felt it for a second.

"Okay here we are?" he says as he sits me down on his bed.

I can't see straight at all. It's like I am staring at one of those pictures that is broken in different shapes. I feel like I can't keep my head up but yet all I want is for him to be next to me again.

"I am sleeping here?" I ask as he takes off my shoes.

"Yes and I will sleep in Balthazar's" room he says standing back up. I don't want him to go.

"Okay" I say as he pushes me back on the bed.

"Night Dean" he says with his million dollar smile. At least I think he is smiling at me. It might be a frown. I'm not sure and I cannot tell from the sound of his voice.

"Wait" I say as I sit up and grab his shirt with my fist.

"What?" he says as he stands really still. He looks down at me as I look up at him. It looks like he is barely breathing. I might be making him uncomfortable but I don't care at this point. Our eyes connect and all I want to do is feel his body on mine.

I knew I shouldn't have drank. I knew I shouldn't have gotten high. I knew that I would end up doing this but I can't help it. After feeling his body near mine for a brief second I want more contact.

"Dean what are you doing?" He asks uneasy. I know he is uneasy. I know this for sure. Maybe I am making a big mistake but I have to go for it. I can't stop thinking about it and being drunk only makes it worse. Maybe if I do it one more time, I will get it out of my system.

"This." I say as I pull him on top of me. I don't know why but it was so easy. He just feel on top me. At first he freezes but soon his body is pressed deep into mine. He arpas his arms around me as we start to kiss. At first I am control but than he takes control as I swear his left legs moves up and rest across my body.

Shivers and shocks are running through my body as are tongues dance together. There is something different about this than when I kiss my girlfriend. I mean kissing her is nice but I really like this.

"Wait." He says all of a sudden as he stops the kiss. He then says something to me I don't understand. Kissing him added to my high and now I am completely lost I throw my hips up into him and he kisses me again as if his life depend on it. He stops the kiss again and says something but I still don't know what it is.

I just wait for him to stop talking before I say "Happy New Year Cas" as I place a small peck on his lips before I close my eyes and drift off into a deep sleep.

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**Btw make sure to check out the supernaturalwholocked22 stories **

**also follow me on twitter akinsey_dawrite **

**don't forget to review i want to know what do you think of the plot, the characters, and if you think it is moving too fast or too slow. oh and what is a god time of day to post.**

**thank you for reading **

**I know i said i wouldn't change the tile. Please don't damn me to hell but hey if you maybe my own version of Cas will respect. BUt this time i swear on Destiel that i will change it. Whoa swearing on Destiel that has to mean something **


	9. Chapter 9 Gabriel

**Hey guys here is chap 9. We are one chapter away before i go hiatus. Once i go i will not return until i have reviews. i hope you enjoy the next chapter told from Gabriel pov. btw**

**Btw make sure to check out the supernaturalwholocked22 stories **

**also follow me on twitter akinsey_dawrite **

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**Chapter 9: Gabriel**

I am a good looking guy no strike that I am beautiful damn it. Some might think I am conceited but I'm not I just have eyes. I have looked in a mirror and happen to notice how damn sexy I am. Now I only say this to make a point. I look like David Beckham and I get mostly every girl I want. Mostly some girls think I'm either too pretty for them or that I am a whore. I like to think I'm both at certain times. A lot of girl are okay with that. A lot of girls want me just because of that. A lot of girls won't tell be no. All of them expect one .This one girl keeps turning me down and she knows I am pretty enough for her and that I am a whore and still that is not the reasons she keeps turning me down. She never gives me a reason. I make it clear every day that while she is my best friend and she is beautiful that I am serious about her. I want to be with her and yet she doesn't get it. She doesn't get I am willing to change and be whoever she needs me to be.

Now usually when a girl says no I say okay and move on but I just can't with her. I should pint out that nine time of ten they don't tell me no. Just last night I had a chance with two different girls. I mean I could have gone all the way with them but I held out just for a kiss at midnight from her. Did she notice did I get it? Yes and kind off. I held out but I didn't get the kiss I wanted. I got no action because I want to prove to her that I am for her and she did kiss me but it was on the cheek accompanied by a hug at midnight. I should have walked away from her there but I didn't. I stayed with her the whole night. I didn't let her drink too much and I walked her back to my place. When we got back to my house I showed her to my room and let her sleep in my bed alone. Then I went to Balthazar's room and slept there. His bed is comfortable and all but I just wish Cas wasn't there. Yup, I slept in the bed with my brother. Judge me if you want but I will be a gentleman when it comes to her.

Her beautiful , sweet, know it all self, with her sweet pink hair that use to be blonde. Now that it's pink and I want her even more. I care about her in ways I didn't know it was possible and I know she feels the same. She just wants to hide it or maybe she is scared. I don't know one way or another I will get her.

I mean she is just- oh great Cas is kicking me. He still looks asleep. Should I wake him up. Well the clock say's 8:30 and I'm pretty sure he was drinking last night. I did see an empty liquor bottle when I got home plus a few roaches in the ash tray. If I woke him up now I'm pretty sure he would be hung over and that would be wrong. Oh screw it; I know he'll end up hitting me in the face if I don't. So I'll just do it first.

"Wake up" I say as I smack his forehead. He does nothing but just move a little. Damn he is a heavy sleeper. Can't believe I forgot. I guess I shall try again. "Wake up" I say a little louder as I pluck his ear.

"Stoppp" he groaned. Okay we have lift off.

"Why this is fun." I say before I smack him in the head. At this point I am okay if he stays asleep.

"Stop" he says as he sits up and smacks me in the head. Perhaps I have taken this too far. That smack kind of hurt. Maybe is mad.

"Why so grumpy"

"Why are you hitting me in my sleep?" Oh he is mad. HE has venom in his voice.

"Because it's fun." I say as I give him my best charming smile. He is one the few people it doesn't work on.

"Well stop I am not feeling that good." Now would be the time I make fun of him but I see something os bothering him. SO I'll be a good brother and behave.

"Rough night." AMeg might have chewed him out. Or Dean might have gotten to him someway. I don't care he says or Dean or anybody else. Those two have a thing. I know it.

"Something like that." So yes.

"Aww you and Dean didn't kiss and make up."

"Shut up" he says a little too aggressive for my taste. So Dean has something to do with it.

"What I do?" I ask genuinely confused. I know Dean has something to do with it but I need him to tell me what happen.

"Can you just shut up and let me go back to sleep." He says as he lies down and turns his back towards me. I have never seen my brother like this. Something must really be bothering him.

"If you want to sleep then go sleep in your own bed."

"I can't" he says as he places a pillow over his head. Now he is acting like a brat. Typical youngest.

"No I think I will ask about your night." Normally I would let it go but I have a feeling he isn't telling me everything. Plus I want to know why he missed out on a chance to go to a college party. A lot of freshman would have ran and been there hours before.

"Gabriel" he says sitting up.

"Cas." I say giving him a look.

"Why are you in the bed with me?"

"I wanted to sleep with my little brother. I miss sharing a room with you." We shared a room up until my dad decided to leave us here.

"Really, why are you here?" he says cutting his eyes at me. A normal person would let it go by now but hey it's me. I will keep going until he ready to punch me.

"That and Jo is in my bed. I was trying to do the gentleman thing."

"Since when are you a gentleman."

"Since when so you stand up your hot girlfriend that is a sure thing at a raging party to stay home with your high strung best friend."

"He is not high strung." OH I hit another nerve. He says that with such defense.

"Amazing."

"What is?" he asks like he has no idea what I am talking about. Does he really think I am joking when I say him and Dean are gay. Yes he really does because that is my little brother. Taking everything at face value and never questioning it.

"That the first thing you do is defend him instead of me calling Meg a sure thing." I say as I shake my head.

"Shut up." He says as he punches me in the arm. Again that hurt. HE needs to get laid or relase whatever is inside of him.

"I will if you tell me why."

"Why what?" Now he is acting dumb. Most of times he is lost and it is real but no this time. I know he is just putting on an acting.

"Why you never showed up last night."

"Oh that, I had too much to drink and passed out."

"That part is clear, but how and why?"

"What's with all the questions? I don't have to tell you everything you sure don't tell me everything." Okay is it me or is he acting strange. Jesus he suddenly comes of the closet and his behavior gets weird. I thought that was only supposed to happen when you are still in.

"Did I hit a nerve?" I know I am about to break him. I just have to press harder.

"No" He says trying to give me those innocent blue eyes. Oh I hate he is the only one the inherited that from our mother.

"Okay so why you are in Balthazar's bed again."

"Gabriel have you forgotten that you too are in his bed. Ever stop to think that maybe I am in here because I have someone in my bed too."

"Yes but I am only here because I don't want Jo getting any wrong ideas but it Still doesn't make sense for you. Don't you usually sleep on the floor if Dean falls asleep in your bed."

"Yes but that was when we didn't have a free bed and how doesn't it make sense? Dean is asleep in my room so I slept in here. I wanted a bed."

"Yes but you knew Jo was spending the night. Where did you think I sleep?" He looks at me hard for a minute. His eyes are telling me he hates me and I love it. I know he is hiding something. I don't know what but something is. Maybe Cassie here has a crush on is questionable straight bestie. I say questionable because that is what it is. I know he has a girlfriend but something isn't right with him. I can feel it. When Cassie came out of the closet I wasn't surprised but I actually expected him to say he was in a relationship with Dean, but hey that's life. Unexpected things happen and you roll with it, but I it still could happen with Dean. I am actually planning it.

"Yeah well this time I figure we both could sleep in a bed plus we are too old to be sleeping together."

"Right" I say as I look at him lying next to me.

"We're brothers it doesn't count."

"Yes and you two are friends so again. How were you so drunk last night that you managed to walk into Balthazar's room. Last time I check it's the room farthest away from the living room. Where yours is the closest"

"Jesus can you just drop it." He says as he starts to turn red.

"Cas you have a thing for Dean." I am tired of beating around the bush.

"NO" he says lying.

"Come one. I won't tell." I say ever so sweet. I really wouldn't tell. I may be a lot of things but above all else I am loyal especially to my family.

"Yes." He says. Saying that has to be a weight off his chest. He looks a lot lighter if that makes sense. I would celebrate but I know this is only half the story. I can tell.

"Okay and you think he doesn't like you back. "

"I was trying to be respectful of him and not try and push anything on him but he had to go and kiss me again." Wait what. Dean did what.

"What?" Dean kissed him. I knew it I knew it I knew it. Excuse me why I give myself a mini parade. Oh god I knew Dean was hiding something. I knew he was too close to Cas. Everything about last night makes so much sense. Wow, man it is going to be an interesting year. Wait, he said again. Okay that part caught me off guard again.

"Cas, did you say again. As in it wasn't the first time."

"Yes I did."

"How many times has he?"

"Kissed me? Three times. One time over the Summer, again like in Oct and again last night. But last night was kind of a make out dry hump thing."

"OH" is all I can say. All I can do is look at him with an eat shit grin and try not to laugh as this is to good. Oh I love it. I am going to be an uncle to a Chinese baby someday. I shall call her Moon Pie. She'll be my little moon pie.

"You have nothing to say."

"What would you like me to say?" Really I don't know what to say to him but I do know what to do. We'll get that later.

"Tell me to forget about him, that is was a drunken thing and he will still be my friend."

"I can't say that."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know how he feels and I am not really good at this. Maybe you should ask Jo."

"I can't she doesn't know. Nobody knows but you and he won't talk about it. I refuse to bring it up because it might get weird."

"Or you could bring it up and you two can dump the beards and live happily ever after."

"Meg is not a beard."

"Right, you're bi. Damn."

"Damn?" he asks confused.

"Yeah damn. If you were just gay that would mean more chicks for me." Then again if Jo ever says yes then there won't be any chicks for the both of us.

"Aren't you trying to get Jo to date you?"

"Yes but in the mean time I have needs, but we are getting off topic."

"There is not topic. We kissed, it was stupid. It doesn't mean a thing. We will never talk about it again. When I say we that includes you too."

"Okay" I say okay but I don't mean it. I'll just let it go for now. But only for now, I know Cas really likes him and I think he deserves to be happy. Plus I am not smart enough to do some match making by myself. Dean is my friend but I need someone else to help. I need muscle, I need someone that will scare the living crap out of him if need be. I need Jo. I kind og have a plan but I need her to make it better.

"Can I go back to sleep now." He asks. As if we are done. We aren't but I'll him sleep for now but we will talk about him and Dean some more.

"Yes you can." I say as I get out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to get some food." I say as I back out of the room.

I am going to get food; I just am going to see if the cotton haired beauty in my bed wants to go with me. Plus I figure I get her in a good mood before I drop a bomb shell on her like this. Yes it might not be right to tell her but he never really said anything about keeping it a secret. He just said I couldn't talk to him or Dean about it. He said nothing about her. Plus he should know I would tell him.

So I make my way to my room to find her still fast asleep. I can't help but act like a creep and watch her sleep. She looks beautiful as she lays there with her hair all over the place. She is lying there with half her body on top of the covers while the other half is buried somewhere on my queen size bed. Her face looks so peaceful while half her mouth is open and dripping drool onto the pillow. God she is gorgeous. I don't think I will wash my pillow case for another week.

Instead of waking her up maybe I should climb in bed with her. She looks sound asleep where I can cuddle with her without her knowing. Okay I sound like a creep. What should I do? She is my future wife after all but I don't want to scare her off. Wait she is stirring as my mom would say. She is drooling more on my pillows. Awl look at that drool, it's getting heavy like my heart. Okay so maybe I am not ready to be with her now but I know I will be someday. I just know. I have known since the day I met her that she was the one. Well kind of.

See the first time I met her I was nine. At first I thought she was a boy. I thought she was a boy due to her name and the fact she had on a baseball cap with her hair pulled back, but I was sadly mistaken. I mean come on I was a kids party that everybody called Jo. I have met one other person with that name and it was a guy. It wasn't my fault but she didn't see it that way.

The day I met her is a day I will never forget. It was her birthday party and I was forced to go. My little brother Cassie his real name is Castiel, he hates being call that. Between me and you I think he only hates it because Dean gave him the nickname Cas. Nobody ever called him that until Dean came into the picture. Plus he thinks I'm mocking him but I'm not. He doesn't remember but my mom called him that sometimes. She stopped after a while but it stuck with me and Balthazar. We don't always call him that, \we try to respect him by the name he refers but it sneaks in sometimes. Who am I kidding we always call him that. Plus I love calling him that. It's my name for him and I don't care what he thinks.

Anyway Cassie had this friend name Dean, we weren't friends yet and his cousin who now I know he considers his sister was having a birthday party. Since my mother who was still alive then was taking Cas. God it feels so informal when I call him that sometimes, I had to go. Balthazar was lucky since he was older. He got to do whatever he wanted. I swear he is a bastard for that. Any who mother took me along to her party.

Soon as we got there Cas ran off to be with Dean. Even back then the two were weirdly close. It was like they had crushes on each other. Yes it's okay to be male and have a very close friendship with another male but I don't recall two males holding hand without raising a couple eyebrows.. Now it could have been a reason behind it and I admit I never asked but it's when it comes to them it's just not right. Okay I am getting off topic I was talking about the first time I met her.

So before the party I never met her or notice her. I knew Dean had a cousin name Jo. Cas, Dean and Jo were in the same class. I use to hear them talk about her sometimes. I remember them saying how she use to beat him up so naturally I thought she was a dude plus her name. Plus when I met her she had her hair pulled back in a baseball cap and was dress in what I still I thought was boys clothing. Plus her party theme was sports.

I spent two hours at the party before I realize I was wrong. It's actually really funny how I notice the truth. A bunch of us were playing flag football and guess who the quarter back was? That's right she was. I swear I never seen a girl throw the ball like she did. The score was close but her team was in the lead and it came down to one last play, I had the ball and all I had to do was score a touchdown. I was three feet away from my goal when out of nowhere she tackled me. She tackled me so hard I think I was bleeding. How I started bleeding from grass, will always remain a mystery.

"Good Game" I said once I managed to get off the ground. I am not proud of this but it took me some time. That's how much pain I was in.

"Of course you say that. You suck" she said as she took her hat off and shook her hair out.

"You're a girl?" I said shocked

"A duh?" she said giving me the stink eye.

"I really thought you were a boy." I made mad with that comment. She started punching me. Lucky a few grownups pulled us up.

I was so upset. I got beat by a girl. I got tackled and then punched by a little girl with blonde hair. I wanted to hit her just because. I would have hit her if my dad didn't say I couldn't hit girls. Of course I had to say something back but I honestly don't remember what I said. All I know is she said something back I called her ugly and she kicked me. How she managed to break free of an adult is beyond me. The kick was hard. I cried when she made contact and I don't mean tears came to my eyes I mean I cried like someone had told me someone died. Hey say what you want but she was strong for a kid her age. I am only okay with telling you she made me cry because she got in trouble afterwards.

You would think we became friends after that but we didn't. We actually hated each other for a while. It wasn't until she was in seventh grade that we became friends, but that's a story for another day.

I always thought she was pretty and knew she was special but I didn't start really liking her and knowing for sure she was the on until the summer before this school year started. It was one day when we all decided to go to the beach. I wasn't paying attention to her at first because well I was hunting for chicks. Not just any chick but a chick that isn't from this pathetic little town, but one I didn't have to put too much work into. I was feeling lazy that day. So I had nailed it down to three different girls, then she surprised me. She took off her t-shirt and shorts and that was it I was at a loss for words. The way she stood there with her gold hair shining in the sun just made my heart melt. It was like I was seeing her in a new light. I wanted her I had to have her. It was like everything that told me it was a bad idea had instantly been put on mute. She was worth the risk.

After that I started to figure out a way to tell her how much I wanted and needed her. Now at this point I knew I wanted to be with her but I didn't know I wanted to be with her forever until the first day of school. I hadn't seen her in a week. I was too busy banging chicks and trying to figure out how to get her. You might be wondering how I can do two things at once but I am that good.

So school started and I finally saw her. My mouth dropped down to my chest as my tongue rolled all the way to the floor. There she was looking smoking hot with her cotton candy hair. I don't know if you know this about me but I love sweets and the fact that she reminded me of one of my favorite candies only made me attracted to her more. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. The way my heart was pounding scared and excited all at the same time. Oh heavens it's happening again. Just the feeling of knowing her name and saying hi to her is excuse enough to send me to the hospital for heart problems. I am so happy she is my friend but I want more and I won't stop until I get it. I might sound crazy but hey isn't that what love is.

I went the entire morning of my first day back trying to figure out what I was going to do. I came up with a thousand plans, but only one stood out. I should just be her friend and have secret dates with her. By secret I mean it's just her and me. It's a date for me but she might not know. Sounds crazy yes, but it will work trust me. Maybe not at first but at a while it will. IT has too.

Oh wait she is starting to wake up and I am standing over her watching her sleep. Should I walk away? No I got a better idea.

"Morning gorgeous." I say as I sit on my bed making sure I am close enough to feel her but not enough to smell her morning breath.

"It's too early for you to be so damn perky." She says as she tries to bury her head under the pillow.

"Somebody's a little hung over I see." I say as I rub her back with my hand.

"Stop it." She says sitting up to fast. She then tries to focus her eyes as she rubs both sides of her head with the tips of her fingers.

"Headache?" I ask giving her my best sympathy eyes.

"Just a little." She says sitting back.

"Well lucky for you. Balthazar has taught me the best way to cure a hang over."

"How?" she whined

"Well I know two ways. One way is to get you a beer."

"Ewwww I couldn't. Besides how would we get a beer?"

"True but then there's door number two."

"Which is?" she asks as she focuses her blood shot eyes on me. Some people might find it scary but I find it hot. She has red eyes and pink hair. Oh it is grand. It's like cotton candy and red hot's mixed together. Yum

"Something greasy washed down with water and a side of gossip."

"Something greasy and gossip." She says confused.

"Yes best cure yet."

"So you have something to tell me." Oh she is a clever thing.

"Yes I do."

"Well tell me. Don't drag me out of bed for that."

"Oh no my dear. I need you to be fully focused on what I am about to tell you. I don't need you hearing every other word because you brain is currently a bass player."

"What can be so important? Did something happen last night?" Again she is so smart.

"Yes"

"Well what?" But, she is a difficult one.

"Go get dressed. I'll feed you and then I will tell you."

"Fine" she says as she holds her stomach. Both of us could hear it growling. I thank god it did. Cause if it hadn't then this conversation would have gone a little longer. Her and Dean are a lot alike that way. It's cute on her but annoying on him.

"Great throw your clothes on and we can walk to the Dinner."

"Oh no. I am going to get in the shower. Why don't you ask Dean and Cas if they want to go?" Damn it. I forgot she might ask about them. Got to think of something.

"No." I say to quickly without actually thinking of something.

"Why?" she asks after she climbs out my bed.

"Because what I am going to tell you is between us."

"Just between us? Oh come on Gabriel this isn't one of your trying to turn this into a date meals. Is it?" How did she know about that? Wow she is so clever. I think I want her more.

"No not this time." I say as I lay back on my bed and smell her scent. She smells of lavender and tequila. At least I think its tequila. She drank so many different things last night even with me trying to curve her drinking. Hey don't judge me I can't tell her no.

"Fine but this better be good." She called back as she walked out of my room with her overnight bag.

I wonder how she is going to react? We just start off a new year and I am about to drop a huge bomb shell on her. I hope she takes it well.

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**Again no reviews no updates after chap 10 **

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	10. Chapter 10 Jo

**Hello my readers,**

**First i would like to think for your review. I'm glad you noticed how i wanted to change up the au story guide lines.**

**Second i would like to point out this is chapter ten and i will be going on hiatus for ten days. **

**third I will only return with ten more chapters if they are reviewed. SO no reviews no updates. Thank you that is all.**

**p.s please don't hate Jo. **

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**Chapter 10: Jo**

I live in a town where everybody has something to hide. I don't get it. Why pretend to be something that you aren't. Wouldn't life be easier if you were just open and honest? That's the question I want to ask most people but I don't. I think it's best to mind my own business. At least that's what I thought, now I don't know. See I always I loved the fact that I don't have a secret. Yes I know I am only fourteen but trust me there are girls in my class that have things to hide. I'm not going to get into any details. It's not my place to tell.

See I never thought I had any secrets and I never thought my family had any. I always took pride in the fact that my family was open. I ask any one of them a question and they would tell me. That is how it used to be. Now I don't know, at least when it comes to Dean. My cousin, the brother I never wanted and my friend. We use to tell each other everything now I find out he is hiding a secret from me.

Why would he do that? This might sound selfish but because he wants to keep a secret it makes me have a secret. How does that make me have a secret? Well it doesn't just give me one secret. It gives me two secrets. First I have to keep his secret which becomes mine by knowing and second I have to keep it a secret from him that I know. I rather just walk up to him and smack him. I rather just tell him to just come out with it, but of course I can't do that. I have to be understanding and what not. It's annoying. I don't know about you but it is giving me a head ache. Why couldn't he just tell me and to make it worse I had to find out from Gabriel. Can you say pissed off and offended.

Speaking of Gabriel, I am sitting across from him right now. Day after news years he drops a hugh bomb sheel on me while I have my first hang over. Maybe it was my hang over maybe it was something else but I didn't want to believe him when he told the truth. Turns out he was right. Things have been weird between Cas and Dean. He told me even after I told him he was wrong. It was just a mixed signal between friends, but he was right. I hate him for that. At first I ignored it but now it is starting to make the rest of us uncomfortable. But whatever is going on between those two has mostly to do with Dean. Cas has been acting cool and calm but Dean you can tell something is eating at him.

"You know this is the best date I have been on so far?" Did he really just say that to me? Can we go one day without him being like this? Can't we just be friends.

"How bad are your dates?" I have to ask. I mean if having ice cream and pie at a local diner with a friend is better than any date he has been on. That has to say a lot. I mean look at him he is cute , I guess, but how can sitting here with me be better.

"They are quite lovely thank you for asking?" He says with that annoying cute smile of his.

"You do know this isn't a date?"

"You say it isn't but I say it is." If I didn't know him I'd think he was some creepy stalker.

"How?"

"It just is. It just is." he says with that million dollar crest smile. It's not fair I thought people were supposed to be awkward and ugly in high school. How can he look this good? Imagine what he is going to look like in a few years.

"Well it's not."

"Why you gotta be so mean?" he says as he fakes heart ache. I can't help but laugh. I know he tells me every day how much he wants to be with me but I have trouble buying it.

"I'm just making sure you realize the reality of why we are here?" I have to point this out.

"Ummm you finally decide to stop playing around and be my girlfriend and let me make you happy."

"No"

"Whyyyyy" he says in a whiney voice.

"Gabriel be serious."

"I am serious, why can't you be." Okay time to change the subject.

"This past month have been awkward and I asked you to meet me here so we can figure out what's the problem and fix it."

"I don't know about that anymore." He says as he puts a spoon full of ice cream in his mouth.

"You don't know. Last month you were doing everything in your power to get me on broad. You saw this coming and now you don't know anymore."

"Yeah I mean why we should get involved." Is he messing with me? Every day for the last month he has been trying to give me reason why I should ship all reasons Destiel. His words not mine.

"Because it's our friends and family." I say.

"Yeah but mostly your family."

"I know and we need to figure out his problem." I say not really believing what Gabriel has already told me.

"His problem is denial and Cas problem is fear." He says as if it was obvious. Maybe to him but I really having been looking into it that deep.

"Dean's not in denial."

"Horse poopy." He says slamming his hands down on the table in a dramatic fashion.

"How do you not know that Cas was just and he kissed him and Dean being drunk was fighting him off and not humping him."

"You can't be serious?" he says giving me a cold look. He has never looked at me like that before.

"I am." I say as I think about it more. Dean could just be acting out because he feels weird and doesn't know how to brush off an awkward situation. He never was one to talk about things. It could all be Cas fault.

"I see denial runs in the family." He says in a serious hush voice. This is the first time I have seen him cut out the jokes. I mean he has had serious talks with me but this seems different.

"Does not. Dean isn't gay." He's not. I know it. I don't have a problem with people being gay but I just can't believe my cousin is.

"And I'm not blonde." He says as if.

"Come on Gabriel how can you be so sure. Your brother might be into guys but that doesn't mean that my cousin is."

"Okay I see." He says in a condescending voice.

"See what?"

"I see that you need proof."

"Proof of what?"

"That they have a thing and they really did kiss and what not." Maybe he is right. Maybe if I see it for my own eyes then maybe I can wrap my head around it. No, there is no is no proof.

"You might me right." I say as I know I am right and he will be wrong.

"Of course I am my cotton candy hair beauty. I'm not just beauty." And we are back to jokes.

"So how do we get proof?"

"ummm" he says as he eats his food trying to think. "I got it."

"Okay."

"Go home and talk to him."

"About."

"I don't know something that will press his buttons… I got it Meg and how she and Cas be getting it on. Tell him how I was complain of all the noise they were making." That's stupid but then again it might work. Jealousy might work.

"How is that going to help?" I have to ask. Just to make sure I am right.

"He will get jealous that my little brother is banging her and not him." Does sex just live at the front of his mind? God he can get on my nerves. He is so disgusting.

"So what will that prove?" Some people might not care if the person they like is having sex with someone else. Sex and love can be separated. No it can't. Who am I kidding?

"Everything"

"I don't know."

"If he acts weird and starts trashing her than you have to go along with my plan." He says like he is so sure. He is so smug at times. Cocky bastard.

"What's your plan?" Like how I asked while I ignore his cockiness. I know it drives him crazy. I am the only girl who can resist it.

"If I tell you now then you will have no reason to call me later." Now we are back to us. He just doesn't give up.

"Your plan is stupid?"

"Then why don't you just call me and I won't suggest stupid plans."

"Forget me calling you okay. We don't need a plan." Now while I usually enjoy his banter right now he is starting to get under my skin. How does he do that? I hate it when he does that. He is the only one that can get under it.

"Yes we do?" He says ever so calm. Like I am not getting upset and I am acting like a crazy person.

"NO!" I say a little loud. I know it was loud because everybody actually stopped with they were doing to look at me.

"Oh I get it. You don't want to admit your cousin is gay or at least bi. My money is on gay though. I usually right about these things."

"How can my cousin be gay? You didn't even know about your own brother until he told you."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe I always knew and I didn't say anything until now."

"Cut the shit. You just found out at Christmas." I know I might seem unreasonable but I really can't buy into this. My cousin likes girls he always has and always will.

"Why is it so hard to accept? Dean might be your cousin but Cas is my brother."

"So what because we are related differently it doesn't really count as family or something."

"No that's not what I mean." Oh he is getting mad now. I see it. His face is turning red and he is up balling his fist. It serves him right for saying something so wrong. Dean isn't gay he nerve showed signs. Aren't there usually signs?

"Then what do you mean." I ask as I fold my arms.

He doesn't answer me right away. He takes a few moments to inhale and then exhale as he runs his hands threw his head. I hate tp admit it he looks kind of hot.

"Why is it so hard for you to get it. Cas and Dean kissed three different times. What you are saying might be if it was one time but it was three times and from what I know Dean kissed him at least twice. In my book that means something. You might know if you let me kiss you. But now they are acting like morons. They are making everything awkward and I can tell Cas really is bothered by it. I just want them to talk. That is all but they won't. I think that if we just get them to talk maybe they can move past it and things can go back to the way they were or they can have something wonderful I don't know but I need my brother not bother by this."

"Things can never be the same." I hate saying that. I can tell he wants nothing but the best for Cas, but I can't lie to him. I honestly think that it was a misunderstanding.

"Why can't they." He actually looks hurt. I know he has feeling and what not but damn.

"Because they crossed a line, once that line is crossed there is no going back. You can't just pretend it never happen. Especially if it meant something to one but not the other. How can you go back to just friends."

"Are we still talking about them?" Here we go back to the subject of us. Why can't he have a one track mind,

"No" Okay there was a little something behind that. He said one word and it was powerful. Dare I say it but it was hot.

"Look if they try and fail at least they know. You can't go backwards but they might still be able to hold on to a great friendship afterwards. It's just all about how you handle things." Now I am thinking he has a double meaning but if I don't say anything then he won't either.

"I'll think about it." I say as I quickly leave the diner. It was time to leave. I think he was seconds away from exploding on me and for whatever reason I don't want that to happen.

After our talk I decided to take the long way home so I could clear my head. I just had one the most confusing conversations ever and I don't know what to do. Two things keep going around in my head. One is Gabriel is right. Is there something more to this non fight between Cas and Dean? The second is him always hitting on me. I hate that he does it. People think I like him but I'm not sure. There are times I think I do then there are times when I don't believe him and so I don't like him.

Gabriel might talk a good game but I can't take him serious. I know we are only in high school but he is too immature for me. Plus there's the fact he says he wants me but he is hooking up with a different girl every week. I can't take him serious because of that and the fact that it's only my looks he seems to like. What about my personality, does he think I'm smart or funny? I never hear him say that. I think he just wants me because I am the only girl to have turned him down so far.

You know what I can't think about this now. Cas and Dean need my attention, but Gabriel's idea is stupid. There is no way I can talk to Dean without him getting cagy. I don't need to talk to him. I need to talk to Cas. Maybe if I hear it from him I can really wrap my head around everything. Yes that is what I will do. I will talk to him. Cas wouldn't lie I don't think at least I don't think he will, plus I have a pretty good bullshit detector. I get that from my dad. He can call bull a mile away.

Okay I am getting ahead of myself. I will talk to him but only and if only I observe some more weird behavior from him or my cousin. When I say weird I mean I will look for signs. I will spend the next couple days watching their every move. Okay that was creepy. I will see how they act around each other. I will even switch my seat to the back of our history class. I will watch Dean alone with Bella and I will watch how he is when it is the three of them. Wait I can't do that. Bella doesn't have our lunch. No I got it. I will watch how Dean acts when Meg is around. I will see if he really hates her or is he just jealous and lastly I will just watch them. Yes that is what I will do. I will do all of that on top of my homework. Damn I really have a busy week ahead of me. Better get home and get started.

Gabriel was right. I repeat Gabriel was right. I am so glad he isn't here to hear me say that. I have spent the last four days really paying attention to the people around me. I have to hand it to him, he really notices things. I am actually shocked at the things I witness. Now to the average person not really caring they wouldn't notice but the things I witness could be missed if you were watching them close.

So you might me wondering what I notice so I won't waste any time. First thing I noticed was Dean and Bella. Now before I get started let me say this. I do not dislike her. Some people think I do, but I don't. I just never thought they were a good match. I guees in hind sight it it obvious why but I never knew why until now. I never really took a look at them until Last Saturday.

Last Saturday was the day I was with Gabriel at the diner. After I kind of stormed out of there again I took the long way home. See in this town you can pretty much walk anywhere and I did. I walked home. Once I got home I walked in on Bella and Dean sitting on the couch with a bunch of space between them. What guy sits spaces away from his girlfriend when they have the whole house to themselves. I know for a fact that my parents weren't home. My parents were way on one of their of so secretive hunting trips. They never say much about just they are going hunting. So of course that was a red flag after knowing what I know. When I say this I mean Dean and Bella not my folks.

I didn't just want to jump the gun. I pretended like I went upstairs but I really didn't. I sat at the top of the stairs watching them watch TV all damn day. I figure maybe they were in a fight but they weren't. She tried making out with him a few times and a few times he did. I could tell he wasn't really into it. Besides he tried to make a bunch of excuses. One was his mom and dad could walk in at any time. I knew that was a lie. He knew their schedule just as well as I did.

So after that, I was kind of convinced but I needed more proof. So Monday came and I watched Dean and Cas at lunch. Can you say awkward but that would even begin to describe those two. They kept making eye contact but quickly looking away. Anytime Meg touched Cas Dean would tense up. Sometime his leg began to shake. I mean there were clear cut signst hat is if I haven't made myself clear to them. Watching them was like painful. I can tell there is something there but I don't know if they know it yet. I can't deny it anymore. My cousin is gay. I say this because I also watched him when other girls would walk past. You know the girls in tight jeans, tight shirts, or low cut shirts and or skirts. He did nothing. He was more to focus when guys walked by but I don't think he noticed. Yes Dean is gay and I don't know how I feel about that.

So I am kind of ready to accept the truth about Dean but I am not sure about Cas. Yes he has some type of feeling towards Dean but he is still with Meg and she is my friend also. I can tell that he likes her too, but not as much as Dean. I cannot try to set him up with Dean or whatever Gabriel has in mind if he is serious about her or even with her. It wouldn't be right. So I have to talk to him first. I just hope it's not weird since he hasn't exactly told me he is bi. But I have to talk to him; I have to know his side at least before I can decide on what to do.

So I am here. By here I mean Gabriel and Cas parentless house. Man they are lucky. I would love to live in a house where only parents checks in by phone once a week. Their dad never comes to check on them. Well it is kind of sad when you think of it but hey, I'm not them so I don't know how they feel.

So back to me being at their house. I am not here to see Gabriel. I am here to talk to Cas. I'm standing outside his bedroom door. Not really sure I am ready to go in. Hell I don't even know if he is home. They keep their front door unlock. That might seem unsafe if you lived in a big city but the worse thing is a door to door sales man when you live here.

I have no idea what I am going to say to him, Do I come right out with it or do I build my way up to it. We are friends and we should be able to talk about anything.

"Jo" he says as he walks out his room and right into me.

"Hi Cas." I say trying to force a smile.

"This isn't a bad time." I say as he stands to close for comfort.

"Kind of is." he says as he takes a step back and looks at his phone. He looks upset. Maybe because it has some to do with Dean. "I was on my way out. Gabriel isn't home yet."

"My bad but I need to talk to you." He says as he looks at his phone again with a sense of emergency.

"You need to talk now." He says this as if there are more important things.. What in his life could be so important?

"Yes"

"You can't talk to Gabriel because I know he will be home soon." He says as he double checks with himself to make sure he is right.

"You're Bisexual and I want to know why you never told me." Yes I blurted it out. I didn't see any other way. I had to he would have walk away from me if I hadn't.

"I see Gabriel has told you. Can't say I am not surprised." He says as he opens his bedroom door for us to walk inside. "So I guess he has told you everything." He says as we walk into his room.

"That doesn't matter. I just want to know why?" I say as I sit on his bed. I have to know why? I have to know why he hasn't told me first and fore most.

"Look" he says taking a breath as he looks at his phone yet again. "Can this wait until tomorrow? What is wrong with him? If he assumes I know everything then he must know about Dean.

"No" I say as I folded my arms. If I didn't know any better I say he was trying to get rid of me.

"Jo I would love to talk about this but I can't right now. Maybe if you give me a couple hours." Says as he ignores a call on his phone

"I know about you and Dean." I know I shouldn't have said anything but Ihad to blurt it out and I am glad I did. I see I have gotten his attention.

"What do you know?" he asks a little scared.

"Everything, Gabriel didn't hold anything back."

"I'm not surprised" he says as he rolls his eyes.

"So are you ready to talk?"

"Fine" he says as he takes one last look at his phone before he places it on his desk and sits down next to me.

"So we are going to talk." I ask.

"Yes." Is the last thing he said before we entered the most honest conversation I ever had? I have no idea what we are going to do about Dean and him at this time but at least I know his side of the story.

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**and i swear to destiel i will not change the name **


	11. Chapter 11 Cas

**Hello Everyone**

**So yes i said ten days but you can think mother nature for the reason i am back. It snowed last night and i had nothing to do but sit and the house and be bored. So yes i adding another chapter but i am not sure when i will be back the next one. I also would like to take th time to talk about JO and Gabriel. I would like to point out they are very important characters in the story and you might end up loving them as much as you love Dean and CAs. If i tell a story from their pov you should read it because you never know what the busy bodies are up to or witnessing or planning. Plus they have their own side romance you might like too. **

**Also i would love some review tell me what you think**

**Last but not least ivebeenpossessedbysatan thank you for your review. I love you :)**

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**Chapter 11: Cas**

Have you ever seen any of those High School based shows. You know those shows You know the one's where there is a group of friends who stick together threw whatever. The one's where there's the guy that's in love with his best friend and they end up together. The one's where everything is great, they live in a small town, dress very fashionable, and have the time of their lives. Well if you didn't you know then you should know its complete bullshit. Nothing on TV is true. People in Hollywood write those shows as a sick joke to unsuspecting teens like me.

They lied and both of my brothers lied. Yes both of them. Both of them told me these great stories of how much fun they have had. Balthazar had the most awesome four years of his life so far and Gabriel of course just couldn't stop talking about how every day was different from the last. They pretty much promised me that the next four years would be the best. Okay yes Gabriel is only a year ahead of me but still he promised I'd have fun. I would meet new people, make new friends, and hook up with a bunch of different girls. Instead I realize I like boys and girls, I haven't made any new friends due to fact that I can't leave the side of my supposed best friend, and the only girl I have hooked up with dumped me because I was preoccupied with my best friend. I really liked her and if it wasn't for JO showing up I think we would have stayed together, but I can't blame her. I had a choice. I could have go to my girlfriend who was fed up and talked her down or I could have stayed and talk to Jo about something that might never happen. I don't have to tell you what I did. You already know but I will tell you this, Yes is sucked she dumped me but somehow I don't regret it, even though he still hasn't talked to me. Yeah High School is amazing. It's fucking perfect.

I was prepared to just be his friend. Yes I have always had a crush or whatever you called it on him, but I knew I would get over it someday. I was just happy being his friend, but he had to go and ruin it. He had to go and fuck up everything for me. Let me stop I am to blame also. I let him kiss me I let myself fall into his arms on New Year's and the times before that. I let myself get closer than I should have. I just knew he liked girls only though. I just knew it but now I am not so sure. I want to talk to him but I can't. He acts like I don't exist unless we are around people. I guess it rises to many questions he doesn't want to answer. So because of that I have spent the last month trying to get his attention but he just blows me off. I hate this and I hate myself for letting me get like this. I should have known better.

In High school you are supposed to make new friends and meet somebody and fall in love. Balthazar did both. He made tons of friends and fell in love his senior year. They broke up because they were going to different colleges. Gabriel is kind of doing the same thing. He has other friends but hangs with mostly me. I think because we're brother oh and he fell in love with a girl. But Jo isn't exactly returning the feelings but it's only a matter of time for when she does. I started to fall for someone and it's a big disaster. I had to be the good looking baby brother who falls for a guy who has a girlfriend and I'm supposed to be the smart one. Yeah right.

Well all things aren't that bad. My brother and Jo want to see me happy. At least Gabriel for sure. Jo I am not so sure about. Our talk the other day was left me equal satisfied and confused. Look the reason I feel that way is because I'm not sure how she feels about me and Dean. I think she is on the fence and frankly so am I. Yes I have had a supposed crush but now that I have the chance to ask him about his feelings I don't know what to do.

I like Dean, I do but I have spent the last few years' content with being his friend. I didn't want to ruin a friendship over something he did while he wasn't sober. Yes my I hear that people do stuff while under the influence that they want to do while sober but that is for drunken people. Not for when they are high off weed. Okay he was drunk the last time but I don't know what to do. Part of me want's to try and ask him while another part of me is scared. I'm scared he will reject me and I can't take that. He is the only person outside of my family I have feelings for that are strong enough to make me feel some type of way. Don't get me wrong I do care for Meg. I want to see her happy and what not but I can move on from her, him not so much. I like to think that if he wasn't here she would be my first love.

I-wait Gabriel and Jo are interrupting my thoughts. I am standing outside of Dean's front door on the porch and I can hear them going back in forth. Even threw concrete walls I feel the tension between them. I have to stop my own thoughts to hear them.

"How many times do I have to explain this" I hear Jo say. It sounds like she wants to choke him. I understand her pain. Sometimes my brother can have a one track mind.

"Now Cotton please don't be upset with me." Cotton, it must be because of her hair. He really gets on my nerves with this she has hair of cotton candy thing,

"Stop calling me that." There really isn't any force behind her statement.

"I just don't understand how having them meet here will help. Wouldn't a public place be better?" She says nothing as I hear her make a scuff sound with her mouth. I don't have to be looking at her to know what kind of facial expression she is making. I have seen it plenty of times before. Her mouth is twisted, and she has equal parts rage and lust in her eyes. It's actually quite funny when you see and think about it.

"You can't be serious." She finally says.

"Please." I bet now he is giving her some kind of please don't be mad at me look.

"Fine" she says after she takes a deep breath.

"Oh thank you so much Cotton." I have a feeling that name is going to stick.

"Look if Dean meets him in a public place, than he can walk out the door at anytime. Like as soon as he see's him, but here he can't."

"Because…"

"Because for one Dean will be in his room, there is only one way out. Second Dean can't risk a storm out without raising to many questions. My parents aren't here but they won't be gone for long. They aren't away this time. It would be just his luck they come home in the middle of something. He has no choice but to be calm." Jo says this as if it is her millionth time say it.

"I don't know. I think you are giving Dean to much credit. IS he really that smart. I mean come on he doesn't think things through."

"I think this time he will."

I'm not so sure. No offense your cousin is that smart. IF it was Sammy yeah but Dean no I doubt it."

"What-" Now this is where I interrupt. I have a feeling he was about to set her off and I need them focused on Dean and me's situation. It might sound selfish but I really need their help to fix whatever is broken.

"Cassie" Gabriel says as I walk through the door.

"Hello everyone." I say as feel the tension in the room. "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"No everything is fine." Jo says a little too well. She must not know I heard her and Gabriel pretty much arguing a few seconds ago. I'm not going to much too much thought into it. I'll assume she only lied because she wants to move along. I guess if she hadn't than Gabriel would have us here for an hour talking about god knows what.

"So" I say feeling awkward. This isn't like out normal hang outs. We all have the same agenda. Should I get straight to it or should I socialize first.

"Big Day Cassie. Are you nervous?" I can always count on my brother to read me.

"A little. I don't know how to start." I say as I look down at the floor.

"Don't be." Jo says as she steps into my personal space. "I bought pie. Dean is up stairs eating like half of it. He is relaxed. So he should be in a good mood and if we are lucky he won't want to blow it so fast." She says as she rubs my shoulder with her hand while giving me loving and supportive eyes. At least that is what I want to believe. I am still not sure how she feels.

"Oh so you admit that Dean is-"

"Gabriel shut it." She says as she turns around with such a nasty tone. I can only image the look she is giving him at the moment. He actually looks kind of scared.

"So what should I do." I ask helping it would distract them.

"Dean just went up to his room." She says as I notice Gabriel take a seat on the couch. Her look must have been so powerful that he sits down with a look on his face saying he isn't going to talk to anymore. I should learn that look, it could come in handy.

"So I should just go up and talk to him."

'Yes"

"Okay" I say even though I have no idea what I am going to say."

"Good luck." She says. Gabriel must really be scared if he didn't say anything.

"Thanks I say I a climb the stairs. I really have to learn that look.

So here I go. I start to walk up the seventeen steps that will get me one step closer to knowing the truth. It shouldn't be this hard. I have walked up these steps countless times, sometimes I ran. I can do this I have to do this. My mind is telling this at me, my heart is racing beyond any measure. I have no idea what I am going to say or do when I see him. We haven't exactly been alone together since the last time well you. God I am so nervous and I think I actually might puke once I get to his door.

Once I am at his door I realize that I can't do it. I can't talk to him. I know him. He will refuse to talk about. Suddenly I wish I had some pot. Maybe that's what I should do. Yes that is what I will do. I will run back home grab some out of my stash and bring it here for us to smoke. Then maybe we can get somewhere.

"What do you think you are doing?" Gabriel says as I try and run down the stairs. I should have known that he and Jo would just stay down stairs.

"I can't do this" I say as I give them a pleading look. I thought I could do this but I can't. It's wrong and it seems forced.

"Bullshit" Jo says as she and Gabriel block the top of the stairs.

"Please. Maybe we can do this tomorrow or next week, but I am not ready." I look at them and they say nothing. They each give me an eye roll before they look at each other and than look at me.

"Sorry baby bro but no dice."

"Come on." I pleaded again.

"No Cas, this has been going on long enough." Jo says as she folds her arms.

"You just learned about it." I point out.

"Don't try and flip it on my cotton. I believe the same damn thing and I knew pretty much before you did."

"That doesn't make sense." I say.

"It must certainly does." He says as if I offended him.

"How-"

"We are getting off topic. Nice try Cas, but you are getting your ass in there and you are not coming out until you two have come to a mutual agreement rather good or bad. It's time to put this thing to rest." She says this as if she isn't expecting it to work out.

"I have no idea on what to say to him, what if he turns me down."

"Unbelievable" Gabriel says like he is shock this time. "You are a Novak Damn it we always get what we want." I think he is more so saying it to Jo rather than me. "On top of that you have those crazy blue gorgeous eyes that I hate you for and on top of that he has made the first move. I think it's safe to say he wants you. You just have to make him know it."

He has a point, Dean has always made the first move. It might take some time but I'm sure I can get him to admit how he feels.

"I still don't know what to say." I admit.

"Just go in there and do what feels natural." Jo says as she gives me kind eyes. I think she is starting to understand my nerves.

"Translation go in there and take control. Show him who is boss. Throw is high strong ass down on the bed and finsh what he started New Year's."

"Ill" Jo says as she gives him the same look I am giving him.

"What?" he says as if he doesn't know what was wrong.

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Not so loud though." Gabriel says giving me a smirk. Now I know I have to go into Dean's room. It's the only way to keep him from creeping out Jo.

"Here I go as I turn around and walk straight into his room. I don't knock or say anything. I just silently step into his room. He doesn't notice me, he has his back turned as he sits at his computer next to his window.

"Hello Dean." I say. With inseconds he turns around and jumps. I must have scared him

"Jesus Cas, knock much." He says as he holds his heart. I bet it's beating fast.

"I'm sorry." I say as his body stiffens.

"So what are you doing here?" he asks as he looks at the ground.

This is ridiculous. There is no talking to him. He will just deny it. I'll just do what Gabriel said.

"This" I say I charge up to him and pull hip by the waist. I crash my mouth in his and slip my tongue between his teeth. At first he tenses up but then he relaxes as he kisses me back. I feel his hands creep up my chest as I feel intense energy pas threw our bodies.

"The fuck Cas" he says as he pulls away and steps around me.

"I was kissing you." I say as I turn to look at him.

"Why?" he says pretending not to know. I know he knows. Why else would he be acting so strange all of a sudden.

"Please do not pretend you don't know why. Dean you know very well."

"Cas I really don't." Is he really trying to make me feel crazy. I know I did not imagine anything. You couldn't image what I was.

"Dean, please don't do this. We have kissed in the past and we need to talk about it."

"Cas buddy if you need to know why I supposedly kissed, do you think that kissing me again is such a great idea." He says acting as if I am making things up. I think I might need some air. My blood is starting to boil.

"Stop it!" I yell.

"Stop what?" he says with most nonchalant face.

"Stop acting like this is nothing. I think there might be something here. Whether it be feeling or lust but there is something here."

"That's bull shit. I don't lust after boys. Sorry pal. I have a girlfriend and so do you. I don't think she would like it if she knew what you were doing here." He says with a slight attitude.

I have a good mind to just walk out and never talk to him again, but Jo and Gabriel are probably still blocking the steps.

"So this is bull shit." I say as I charge him again. I slam his body against the door and kiss him with such hunger. IT's like his tongue is the first thing I have eaten in weeks. I press my body into his as I keep him against the door. I am stronger than him. I can hold him into place if I wanted too. As he kisses me back I run my hands up his leg and feel his bulge.

"You are such a liar." I say as I break free of the kiss.

"Cas" he whispers as I keep my body slightly against his.

"Shh" I say as I slip my hand inside his basketball shorts and take hold of his erected cock. He throws his head back I start to gentle stork it. "Stop fighting it." I say before i place a small peck on his neck.

"I'm not" he says in a small moan.

"IT's okay Dean." I say as I stroke my hand up and down. HE brings his head down and locks his green eyes with mine.

"IT's not." He moans.

"It is" I say as I start to twist my wrist as I move up and down. "I like you and you like me."

"You do." he says as he throws his head back again. Did I mention I picked up my pace. I swear I can hear the bones in crack in my wrist.  
"Yes and never be afraid to kiss me or anything else."

"Butt" I think he is about to cum. His body is starting to shake a bit.  
"Shhhh no buts. I want you and you want me. Nobody has to know it will be our little secret." I say just as he cums all over my hand.

It takes a minute before he can compose himself and look at me. I stand in front of patiecly. I have never done that before and I have no idea where that came from, but il iked it. I like givng him pleasure. This new secret could be fun.

"Nobody." He says as he finally looks at me.

"Nobody" I say before I pull him into a kiss.

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**so that is the it for this chapter what did you think. Please tell me. I'll be back soon but at keast not for three days. I have to work, that is if it doesn't snow. **

**also,**

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	12. Chapter 12 Dean

**Hello, Happy Snow day to everyone of you that are in the Northeast like me. I am stuck in the house because it snowed and everything is shut down. So I took the day to write this chapter. I hope you enjoy. please tell me what you think.**

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**Chapter 12: Dean**

They say the truth will set you free. Ha, that's a bunch of shit. Whoever came up with that saying is a fucking liar. The truth didn't set me free and it just knocked me into a bunch of other different shit. Four months ago I decided to give into my desires. While I have enjoyed those desires but wow it is the end of the school year and I am going crazy.

See Cas came into my room and of course I couldn't think straight. Just the thought of being around him makes me as the British would say mad. He pretty much pushed himself on me but I liked it. I thought he was only doing it because he thought he knew I wanted him and being the great friend he was he was trying to help me sort things out. Being the great friend I am I tried to tell him he didn't have to do that but now that I think about it, it didn't sound that way. Oh well it's in the past now.

Now I am in some kind of secret non relationship, only I'm not sure If am in a non-relationship or a relationship. I am not making sense. We still do all the things we use to do when we were just friends. You know like watch movies, play video games, play basketball, and what not. We do all those things and extra. Whenever we are watching a movie we cuddle. Yeah I cuddle. I don't mean to but out of nowhere he places his arm around me and the next thing I know I am curdle up into him. When I spend the night at his house, I sleep in the same bed as him. I wake up in the morning with him holding me. It's actually nice. When we play video games, no matter what we end up making out. That usually comes from us arguing over something stupid about the game. Sometime it turns to handy j's but that is only every once in a while. At first he just gave them to me but like a month ago I returned the favor. I had to he had given me so many. Plus it was easy and I kind of liked it and did I mention he was the first person to touch my cock other than me, Bella would never do that. She can be such a prued. Sometimes I think it's her fault I am like this. If she would have just let me touch her sometimes I wouldn't have to touch my best friend.

Speaking of Bella, did I mention I am still with her? Yes I also continued my relationship with the unsuspecting Bella. Yes I am still with her and yes I know it is wrong. Trust me I know it's wrong. I feel sick to my stomach sometime s when I think about how she would be so upset if she knew what I was doing with Cas. I just can't let her go and I can't let what I have with him go either. So now I am stuck. I am stuck between trying to love my girlfriend and sorting my desires out with Cas. My life sucks sometimes.

But what I am doing with Cas won't last forever. No matter how good it may feel. What I am doing with him isn't right. There is no way for us to work out or even have a life together. I figured if I do this now than one day I will eventually get over it. It might sound messed up but I know Cas feels the same way. We both enjoy our time together but in the end will end up only friends with our wives. It's just a phase we are going through. At least for me, I think he is just trying to help me out in my time in need.

Plus if this was real then why hasn't he said anything? We are together pretty much every day, if this was a real relationship or he had some kind of feelings for me, why hasn't he said something anything to me, but it not like it would change anything. His silence just gives me more reason to believe we are trying to get whatever this is out of my system. I just hope Bella never finds out. She is just so great and I never want her to find out. Even though I am doing this for her, I doubt she'd see it the same way.

Speaking of my girlfriend, since it is the end of the school year her dad will be shipping her off to England again. I am glad he is. It's not what you are thinking. It will give me more time to sort things out, plus I won't feel so dirty. Yes I have felt dirty. I have felt like that every day, especially on the days I kiss her and then make out with him. It happens pretty much all the time and I need to not feel like I have to spend more time in the shower.

Tonight I don't feel as bad. It's a Friday and I haven't kissed Cas all day. Today is the day before she leaves for the summer. Its bit early but the teachers are really just babysitting us at this point. After school I hung out with her. We went for something to eat, than we saw a movie, and then we made out in the park. It was nice but kissing her still feels different. Look I really care about her but I am not sure if I love her. This makes me feel bad because she tells me she does all the time. I always say it back and sometimes I say it first but it isn't the same as when I am with Cas. Which is why we need this summer apart? I am hoping that the guy who said absent makes the heart grow wasn't full of shit either. I just wish I had someone to talk too. I can't talk to Cas or Bella for obvious reasons and Jo and Gabriel know nothing about this. I could talk to them but they probably think I was some kind or freak pervert.

I just wish I could keep my mind off of my confusing feelings. Everything is so hard right now. When I say everything I mean everything. Bella parents do not approve of her and mine relationship. They do everything in their power to keep us apart. Plus the whole I have a thing going on with my best friend and I can't tell anybody. I am exhausted. Why did this have to happen to me.

I don't want to hurt anyone and so far I think I am doing a good job at making sure nobodies feelings are getting hurt. But it's late and I don't feel like thinking about this anymore I will not spend any more time thinking about it. I have tomorrow to figure things out. I think I will just go to bed. Sleep is the only time I don't feel confused. The dreams about Cas have stopped. I guess I have him in my waking life he doesn't need to be there anymore. I thank god Cas never really asked me to many questions. I am just glad he wants to be friends who sometime touch each other.

Okay enough about that. Its 11:34 and my tired body need's sleep. My house is quiet and I like it that way. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen were asleep when I got in. Jo was still out with friends. Although friends usually means a non-date with Gabriel. My little brother Sammy is asleep in Uncle Bobby's office turned his new bedroom. He has just gotten in from his boarding school and has Jet lag. Plus I did promise to spend tomorrow with him once he is well rested.

I might be tired but I am not ready to fall asleep. I just don't know what else to do. Since I am not ready I decide to take my phone out and looked through the contacts. I stop at Cas's name and think about calling him. I only want to call him since I have been with Bella all day. I have to give her space. We haven't spoken all day and I might kind of miss hearing his voice. What am I saying? I don't miss his voice. I just got so use to spending every day with him that it feels weird when I don't. Yeah that is it. I still should call him. That is what friends do. Even friends with benefits right. Yeah I am going to call my good friend and see what he is up too.

Just as I was about to hit the call button on my cell there is a tap on the window. Why is there a tap on my window? There never has been. Maybe someone is trying to rob my house.

Just as I was getting up I notice it was Cas sitting on a tree branch outside my window. Now I can't help but feel my stomach flip as I race to the window to open it. I need to calm down. I shouldn't be this hype. I am in this with no string attached.

"Hello Dean" he says smiling as he sat on the tree branch. It almost looks like he is floating as the moon light hits his creamy skin. It's kind of hot. That's right Dean keep thinking that. The more thoughts you have like this the sooner you will get over him.

"What are you doing here?" I say a little too happy to see him. I admit I have been thinking about him all day but I don't care now. Maybe overkill will help.

"I was lonely at home so I decided to come see you. If you like I can leave." He says thinking I didn't want him there. What on earth gave him that impression? We know each other really well. I can read him he should be able to read me.

"Just get in here." I say giving his short a little tug before I walk back to my bed. I am excited. I get to sleep with him in my own bed. Now don't get me wrong I like the sleep over's at his place but it would be nice to have him in my bed and since my aunt and uncle doesn't know who I was out with all day I can just say he spent the night because it was too late to go home. I hope he wants to spend the night. Just so we can get pass this thing quickly, you know.

Cas climb through my window and walked over to me with so much confidence. It's like he knows what he is doing all the time. He says nothing as he grabbed the back of my head and kisses me as he falls on top of me as I fall back into my mattress. God I really like the feeling of his body against mine. I love it when he is especially on top on me. It's a great feeling.

"I have wanted to do that all day" he says as he breaks the kiss. He lays on top me as he runs his fingers through my hair looking into my eyes. It feels so good. I can't help but feel how warm my body has become with so close. Sometimes I wonder where he learns to take control like that.

"Right back at you" I not thinking. I just pull him as humanly close as I kiss him again. He falls between my legs as he runs his hands through my hair while our tongues have a wrestling match. I swear the only time I don't feel guilt is when I am sleeping or when we are like this. Not just the kissing or whatever, just when I am with him. When I am with him I can't think of anything else.

We lay there kissing as I resist the urge to wrap my leg around him. I'm telling you this kiss is so hot. It's so aggressive. His hands are pressed, digging into my sides. He is not letting up. It's so powerful. I easily lose myself as his hands began to explore my body. His hands are so smooth but rough, his mouth is hot and a bit minty. As his tongue made its way through my mouth he started to work his hands down to my crotch. Once his hands hit home, I pulled away from the kiss. If I let him keep going this will end up more than a hand job. I can feel it. With the way my skin is on fire, if I don't stop him now then who knows where this could go and I'm not ready for that. I don't think I ever will be.

"Why'd you stop me" says to me with me black eyes as he tries to catch his breath. His eyes are mostly black but I can see the blue in the corners. It's weirdly hot.

"What are you doing" I say looking into his eyes, Even though they are mostly black they still are beautiful.

"I was watching a movie at home and it gave me an idea," he says sitting back on his hind legs.

"What kind." Cas usually watches action and slasher horror movies. What in the hell gave him this idea?

"Does it matter? It gave me an idea about what I want to do with you."

"Cas just tell me." I begged. I can't have sex. That is something I don't think I need to do. At least I don't think. Sex with him wouldn't be so bad right. What am I saying of course it would be? I should only have sex with him if I am really desperate.

"Shhhhhhhhh…. Just shut and let me. There is something I want to try. All you have to do is relax and trust me." He says giving me a sexy smirk. I hate that smirk. When he looks at me like that, his eyes sparkle and I can't resist especially when they look like the freaking night time sky.

Of course he knows this and didn't wait for me to respond. He just started removing my pants and is probably pleasantly surprised to discover I don't have any underwear on. Hey I was running late this morning. I have no idea why I didn't put underwear on. I want to say something but I couldn't. He just takes control and I can't fight back. I say nothing as he moves back and places his knees onto the floor. He pulls me to the edge of the bed. I was hard when he first starting kissing me but now it actually hurts. I didn't think it was possible.

"You know I think you are so hot." He says as he lifts up my shirt and places kisses around my stomach. "You have such kissable lips. I love kissing them but there is something else I want to try." Cas says before he kissed the inside on my thighs. It feels amazing. I have an idea of what he wants to do and if he doesn't I might beg him to do it. I have to after he got me moaning because he hit a certain spot on my thigh. He's teasing me and I love but I hate it at the same time. I need it. I need it more with every lick he places between my legs.

I want to touch myself, but I'm fighting against it because I swear I know what is about to happen. Cas kisses me again on the lips before he moves down to my neck. He made sure not to suck on it too hard. As he licked and kissed my neck he reached his hands down and wrapped one around my erected member and started stroking. He used the other one to massage my hip bone as he stared into my eyes. Damn it I don't need hand job. It feels good but I thought he might try something else. I let out a soft groan. I am still hoping it turns into what I am thinking of. But with Cas's large and soft hands I feel like I might explode but I can't. I need to see if this goes any farther. I moaned as Cas works his hand up and down as he rubbed my side. I want to cum so bad.

Cas suddenly removed his hand and in a quick motion he wrapped his lips around the tip of my dick. Oh shit oh shit. I think I might start to speak in tongues. He licked the tip before he pulled away to examine my length and width.

"Too much for you?" I ask noticing the way he was staring at it. I want him to do this but not if it is too much for him. Plus what he just did is more than I have ever gotten.

"No but when the day comes I might be for you." He says with a wink. Does he think we are doing to have sex? If so does he think I am bottoming? Hardly am I going to top if we ever do it. But not like I was thinking about us doing it. Like I said only if I got really desperate. If we do ever have sex I am going to fuck him not the other way around.

Before I could respond to his comment out loud I felt Cas flick his tongue across my tip again. Man this is awesome.

"OH my god." I moaned. He flicked his tongue across my tip a few more times before he took me into his mouth. I bit down on my lip as the tip of my dick made its way down his throat. He held it in his mouth for a minute as like he was confused about what to do next. He then started bobbing his head up and down trying his hardest not to let his teeth get in the way. I moaned out in ecstasy as a warm sensation ran though my body causing me to shake. I didn't know males could do this. Cas continued bobbing his head up and down as he undid his pants so he could beat his own dick off. It didn't take long before I felt my stomach tighten and my body shaking all at once.

"Aww shit" I cried out as I came in Cas's mouth as he came in his hand. I like the idea of us coming together. I hope we can do more of that.

As I looked at him in a indescribable bliss I noticed he was confused he didn't know whether to spit or swallow.

"Swallow it" I commanded. He looked at me with his mouth full before he attacked my mouth to pass my own seed into my mouth.

"NO you swallow it." He says before he ran his tongue up my lips. I should have spit it out but because he told me not to I had to swallowed it. It was so hot. The way he looked at me with those fucking eyes of his and that voice. How could I not obey.

After we cleaned ourselves up we laid in my bed spooning listening to the crickets chirping. I really like the feeling of being in Castiels arms. I hope he stays all night.

"I should get home" Castiel says as he sits up on the bed. Damn it. I really wanted him to stay. Hell I needed him. Soon as he leaves the guilt comes back.

"Ok." I say rolling over feeling a little hurt as I watch him put his shoes on.

"You wanna hang out tomorrow" he asks as if nothing just happen between us. I want to say something but I don't I just watch him stand up.

"I can't I promise Sammy we'd hang tomorrow just the two of us, but I can Sunday." I say pretending him leaving doesn't bother me and wondering why is leaving and why it is bothering me.

"Sunday it is then." He says giving me a good night kiss on the forehead. "Sleep well Dean." He says before climbing out the window. And just like that he is gone everything else returns. Damn him.

**Gabriel Pov**

I love summer. I love summer for so many different reasons. One there are no more cold days for a while. Second it's tourist season and that means there are more girls to do, and third I get to spent more time with my Cotton Yes reason two might become void if she agrees to be with me but hey at least I got tonight.

Tonight was lovely. I took her to a carnival where we almost kissed on the Ferris Wheel. It was nice we spent the last few hours together and I know even more she will be mine someday. Of course the night had to come to an end. I was dreading this until we got to her house and I notice my baby bother sneaking out of Dean's window.

"Look who's climbing down the tree near Dean's room." I say as she and I stand outside her house. We stand a few feet away in the dark. We can see Cassiel but he can't see us. Jo says nothing as she just laughs.

"They really should be more careful." Jo says. I agree. They're lucky we saw them and not somebody else

"Well is none of our business. That is what you said the last time we herd moans coming through the wall." I pointed out. Of course we know and Cassie knows we know but Dean still doesn't know that we know.

"Right" Jo says as we walked up to the porch once my darling little brother was out of sight. I don't think I will bring this up to him. I will let him have tonight. He is always worried that someone will find out and Dean will get scared off, but to me this whole thing is stupid, but Cotton insists we just pretend like we don't have a clue.

"Well good night Jo. Maybe next time it could just be the two of us."

"Gabriel tonight was just the two of us." She says playing with her necklace that I bought her. She wears that thing every day.

"Yeah but like the two of us on an actually date."

"You just don't give up do you." She says with a grin.

"Never." I see I am starting to wear her down. Just a little more time and I bet she'll say yes. I hope I am ready for it.

"So" she says playing with her keys.

"I see you're still wearing your necklace" I point this out because I want to prolong her staying out here as much as possible.

"Of course I am. I love it "she says smiling.

"You know wearing that is like you are saying you are my girlfriend."

" Please don't ruin the night. I told you we are better off as friend."

"Why Is that?" I ask disappointed. I have to ask sometimes. I just have too.

"because you are a whore Gabriel." Doesn't she know I'd give that all up to be with her?

"I can change that. If you just have one date with me."

"Good night Gabriel" Jo say says she opened the door. I guess we are done prolonging the night

I wait until she has closed the door before I walk off the porch.

"Well at least Cassie is getting some." I say out loud as I unwrap a lollipop to eat on my way home. She might know it yet but she will be my wife someday.

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	13. Chapter 13 Dean

**Hello everyone Happy vday. Hope you have a great day of love.**

**Here is the next chapter hope you enjoy.**

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**Chapter 13: Dean **

I got a blow job. No strike that, I have been getting a blow job like every day this summer and I swear each one is better than the last. Ever since Cas climbed through my window he has made it a habit of doing it every night. Some nights we do just kiss but most he'd blow me and after I cum he climbs into bed with me and we lay there and talk. It's nice and sometimes I actually forget what I am doing is wrong and that I have a girlfriend. It might sound messed up but I beat myself up every day about it and when he comes over it's the only time I feel right.

Speaking of feeling right, I actually went down on him myself. It took a couple weeks but one day it just happened. One minute we were kissing. I was lying on top on him as he laid back on my bed. One minute he has one hand around my lower back while the other is going through my hair. Next he took my hands and stared moving them over his body until I landed on his super huge cock. My god is it big, and then he started rubbing my hand on it. Soon as he did that I broke our kiss and looked into his eyes. I knew what he wanted and I knew I just had too. The way he looked at me told me I had to do it. I had no choice. I was nervous about doing it but I eventually learned to love it. I know it's wrong but he I'm just going with the flow of things.

Even though I have been enjoying my summer fling, my feelings are conflicting more and more. Not only do I spend every night with him but I spend all day talking to Bella via Skype every day. Each time I hang up with her I feel this longing. I want to be with her, to hold her, to kiss her. I miss her so much .She should be the one in my bed at night not Cas.

I just wish she was next to me all the time, but then again that would mean Cas wouldn't be there and I like having him there. I love the way he kisses me. It's just so strong and mind blowing. Plus I can talk to him about anything and never be judge. I should be able to talk to my girlfriend about these things but I doubt she would understand. Especially the way I feel when I look at other guys. I like the way Cas holds me. Bella never holds me. I always have to hold her. She never wants to take control but Cas does . Even though Cas does all the things I like I know it's not right. I should want to do all these things with my girlfriend but I don't. I'm hoping by the time she gets back I will be able to. I mean that is why I am doing it these things with him. If I just get it out of my system now then I won't feel this way after a while. It might sound crazy but I think it's starting to work a little bit. I mean the more time I spend with Cas the less I start to notice other guys when I am alone. Sure when I use to see a guy I would think some impure thoughts but now I don't do that. I only think of my best friend and soon he will only be my best friend.

But I can't think about that right now. It's about five so it is late afternoon and I am talking to my amazing girlfriend Bella on the computer.

"I miss you love" she says in her English accent. Whenever she goes to London it seemed it to get thicker, but hey that's hot, right.

"I miss you too. When are you coming home?" I ask trying to duplicate my brother's puppy dog eyes.

"Dean, honey I will be home next week."

"That's too long to wait." I say as I realize that I haven't seen Cas in like two days. He was supposed to come over last night but he didn't. I text him this morning and I got a short answer about him falling asleep and he'd text me later. Wait I should stop doing this. My girlfriend is in the middle of saying something and I missed it. Please let me able to catch on.

"Soo" she says as if she is waiting for an answer. Shit what did she say?

"Sooo" I say repeating her. Hopefully what she said wasn't that important. She usually rambles on about people and place I don't know about. I'll just fake my way through this. I'm usually good at faking my ways through things with her.

"Do you or don't you." Do I what? I bet it's something stupid. Like should she change her hair or something.

"Yes" I say uneasy. I bet it's about her hair. It usually is.

"I thought you would….. You know I thought you would be more excited than this." She says giving me a look, which is really starting me to feel uneasy.

"I'm just trying to remain calm." What in the hell is she talking about. It's only her hair. What do I care? She's pretty, she'd looked good with any hair style. I don't understand women.

"Wow Dean I am impressed. I figured once I bought up us doing it. You would be trying to book a plane ticket here tonight." Did she say doing it. As like in sex. As in me and her have sex. Oh no. I should be excited but I am scared shitless. Why couldn't it be about her hair?

"I just don't want to get my hopes up. I mean you could decide you aren't ready, but don't get me wrong I want to do you." I say as I mentally slap myself for trying to reach for my phone. This no time to see if I have a text from him.

"I'm not." She says giving me one of the most beautiful smiles. She could be in a crest commercial.

"What made you decide?" I hope she didn't already say that when I was too busy wondering about you know who.

"Well" she says taking a deep breath. "I was thinking how we have been together for a while now and you have been the best most understanding boyfriend ever. You have waited for me for two summers to just come home and kiss you. A lot of guys would have cheated on me or dumped me by now but not you. You have stayed true. So that is why I was thinking when I come home maybe we should take our relationship to the next level." She says shyly. I look at me in the corner of the screen to see if any kind of guilt came across. I don't look guilty I just look stunned. Thank god because on inside I am ready to cry.

I cannot believe what I am hearing. Bella always said she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. What am I going to do?

"Are you sure?" I ask feeling a lump forming in my throat. Do it, she wants to do it. Oh god why am I getting sick to my stomach. How can I do it with her when I haven't gotten this weirdness out of me yet? What am I going to do? Sure I have seen porn and get where everything goes but what if it turns out harder than it looked. I mean giving a blow job did, why not sex. What am I going to do? I need Cas right now. No I don't, I don't need him.

"Yes we have been together for two years, you were my only friend when I first moved here in seventh grade and you are so patience and understanding about my family always trying to send me away. I love you so much and I want you to be my first. I feel like I owe you this." With every word my guilt has multiplied. Why did she have to be so damn innocent? I really think I am going to puke up the sandwich I ate earlier.

"Bella I love you too but you owe me nothing. I want you but I will only do this with you unless you want it for yourself not because you feel like you owe me." Hopefully that will hold her off for a couple of months at least. Please let her do that. I need to be one hundred percent before I do this. I need some more time and a week isn't long enough.

"Dean you are so sweet. How did I get such an awesome boyfriend? I want to do this with you. When I come back we will make love for the first time." She says smiling. I swear I just saw her grey eyes just get brighter. They almost reminded me of Cas's eyes. There I go again. I don't need to think about him, I need to figure out how I am going to do this with her while I am having the wrong kind of thoughts. Okay I just need to wrap things up here and then I'll figure something out.

My call with Bella lasted another half hour before I hung up with her. Now that I ended the call I can't feel any joy. I want her, I need her but do I deserve her virginity. You only get one first and I am a horrible choice for so many reason beyond me cheating on her. I don't deserve her.

Being in the house was making me feel like I couldn't breathe. I need to talk to about this with someone but there was no home to talk to. Sure my aunt was home but this isn't something I could bring to her. I could have waited for Jo to get home but she has no idea on what has been going on. I need to take a walk.

I had no idea where I was going or how long I walked for but somehow I found myself at my old elementary school slash playground. This place holds so many memories but one is sticking out right now.

I smile to myself as I walked over to the sliding board where I first met Castiel he was Castiel then. It took me a couple months before I shorten his name. We had met his first day of school. He was so scared to talk to anybody. I remember him walking into our class and sitting in the back. I didn't pay much mind to him until I went down the slide. He was standing there with his back turned as I started coming down. I yelled for him to move but he just turned around and looked at me. Seconds later I crashed into him. It was so funny. I feel right on top of him. We have been friends ever since.

"Dean" I hear a familiar voice say as it interrupts my memory. When I turn around I see Cas standing there in basketball shorts and a wife beater. He just stands there staring intensely. He also has that confused look on his face. I guess he is wondering why I am standing here alone smiling at a sliding board.

"Hey Cas" I say as I notice how sweaty he was. Damn it now I am getting turned on. Everything I was feeling and thinking earlier is all gone.

"Dean, what are you doing here?" What does he care? He pretty much has been ignoring me.

"I could ask you the same thing." I say as he wipes his face with a towel. I bet he taste salty and delicious. Stop it Dean. This isn't the time.

"You forget I always walked this way when coming from the basketball courts or anywhere else." I forgot for him to get pretty much anywhere he had to pass though the school. Is it strange that I ended up the one place my friend is guaranteed to be at least once a day. That is outside of school and his house.

"Dude you played basketball without me." I say trying to ignore the fact I am now upset he didn't ask me.

"I started to but I figured you would be talking to Bella. So I went by myself" I wish he would have asked. Maybe if he would have called Bella wouldn't have bought up the idea of me popping her cherry. She would have had more time to think about it and decided to wait a bit longer.

"Right, I was." Damn him this all his fault. He owes me big for this and I think I might know a way.

"So what are doing here?" he asks again taking a step closer.

"I took a walk ended up here."

"What's wrong?" he asks as he looks me over. I always feel so tiny when he does that.

"Why would you say something is wrong?"

"I know you Dean. You only take a walk when you need to clear your head. Okay. So now are you going to tell me what's going on or am I'm going to have to force it out of you?"

I can't help but smile at how he knows me so well. If I told Bella I took a walk she would just tell me that it was nice and ask how was it. Cas is so good at understanding me. It's scary sometimes.

"Dean" He says after a while. I guess I was getting lost in thought too long.

"Cas" I say as I pull him close and start to kiss him. I need this kiss, he kisses always makes me feel better. I need to feel better.

"What was that for?" He asks breaking away for air. Ha he isn't the only one who can give mind blowing kisses.

"I wanted to see something." I say as pull him into another kiss. This time he took control and pretty much mulled my face off. I'm glad no one is around, this would be pretty hard to explain.

"See what you need to see" he asks breaking away from the kiss. I did see what I need to see and kissing him help me realize how I can speed up getting my thoughts back on the right track. I'm not too happy about it but I need to do it. I'm desperate.

"I did." I say giving him a smile.

"And?"

"I have an idea." I say kissing him again. I know I keep kissing him but I need to be absolutely sure before I cross that line. I don't want to cross it if I don't have too. But kissing him makes me realize I have to do it.

"Okay what is your idea?" Cas asks as he breaks the kiss. I knew I would have to tell him what is going through my mind but I was hoping for more kissing first but I guess I should just get it over and done with.

"Okay fine." I say I as walk over to a bench three feet to the right. I keep my head down until I feel him sit next to me. I take a deep breath as I hold the back of my head for a minute.

"So what is wrong?" he asks as I feel him turn his body to mine.

"Bella wants to have sex." I say in a whisper. I said it so low I wonder if he heard me.

"Oh" he says. I guess he heard me, but that's all he can say. I need his help and all he can say is oh. . "Are you going to do it?" he finally asks.

"I don't know should I?**" **Please tell me no. Please talk me out of it. Please.

"That's your decision Dean. I cannot tell you what to do." Damn him. Why did he have to choose those words? If he knows me so well why couldn't he just tell me what I needed to hear. See this right here gives me more proof that this is just a phase.

"You won't mind." I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea where it came from.

"She is your girlfriend Dean and we are not in a relationship. I have no say in the matter, but if you are this unsure maybe you should hold off." Oh now he says it.

I say nothing as I look up into his eyes. I am searching for any tell of what really is going through his head. Unfortunately I can't find his tell this time. Maybe he doesn't really care.

"Maybe you are right." I say as I hold his hand. I usually wouldn't do this in public but I need to sweeten him up before I ask him what I need to ask.

"Dean for what it's worth I really have enjoyed our summer together. I enjoyed going to the lake, six flags, playing basketball, hanging out, and climbing through your window at night. It was amazing especially the parts where I got to kiss you, but I am just your friend. I want you to know if you would like to dissolve our benefits thingI understand. I am your best friend and will continue to be your best friend even after." He says staring into my eyes. I want to kiss him but if I do then it will only drag this out more. Damn those pretty pink lips for being sexy.

"No" I said that too quick. "I mean… no I don't want to stop. You are an amazing kisser among other things" At least I can see he is starting to blush. . "I like doing things with you; I just….want to know you will be ok with it if Bella and I have sex."

"Dean I already told-"

"I know what you said." Seriously can he read me at all. If he tells me flat out not to do it then I can find a way to hold her off. Why can't he just tell me what to do?

He took a deep breath before answering. "Yes Dean. Ok. I will be fine. Can I kiss you now?" He didn't wait for an answer. He grabbed my face and gave me a simple peck on the lips.

Okay it's now or never. I hope he says yes. I need him to say yes. He is the only one I trust doing this for me. I need to get some things out of my system and I know this will help. Did I mention I was desperate.

Okay it is now or never. I look at him and took a deep breath before I say the one thing I thought I'd never ask him. "I can't believe I am saying this but Cas will you have sex with me."

"Dean I…..um umm… Wow…..ummm…thank you." Oh no I blew it. I scared him off. Now I will never get back on track. Why did I say it? Why did I? I am such a freak. I crossed a line I can never come back from. I am asking too much of him.

"Just forget it." I say trying to play it cool.

"No Dean. It's not what you think. I want to but I just am surprised. Are you sure you want to this?" Great now he is asking me the same things I ask Bella. I wonder if she was secretly freaking out. Oh no what if she thinks I'm cheating on her now. What if she knows something is wrong me now? Oh God I think I am going to be sick.

"I didn't mean to catch you off guard." I say feeling stupid for even asking.

"It's okay I am just curious. What made you want to ask me. What made you want to period.? Bella is returning home soon I'd think you just wait for her. Don't you want to wait for her." Great any other time he is a man of few words and now he is just talking like it's something he do every day. How do I explain this to him with sounding so crazy?

"I want you. I want to go all the way with you. I want to feel you on me." I feel so stupid saying that out loud.

"Okay" he says after he gives it some thought. Why did he need to think about it.

"You will do it?" I can't help but smile.

"Yes Dean. I will do you." He says kissing me on the lips. No tongue just a small peck.

"Okay great." I say feeling nervous and excited.

"When would you like to do this?" Shit I never thought that far ahead.

"I can spend the night this weekend." Hopefully I am playing it cool now.

"That's fine since Gabriel will be away visiting my father and Balthazar is never home."

"Great." I say getting up. It's pass dinner time and I am hungry. "Should I leave my window open tonight?" Normally I wouldn't ask but after out little talk and him not showing up last night I feel I should instead of waiting up for him.

"Not tonight" He says standing up and to meet my gaze. I actually feel disappointed that he won't be coming over. "But tomorrow night you should." He says before kissing me good bye.

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**so tell me what you think?**

**How deep is Dean's denial. Does he just piss you off at time.**

**Can you actually believe that he thinks Jo and Gabriel won't last.**

**Please tell me what you think**


	14. Chapter 14 Cas

**Hey everyone,**

**if you are on the east coast like me i hope you are staying warm. **

**Here is the next chapter, but i have to be honest I'm not sure will update after this. I see a lot of people are reading this but not commenting on it. I know i have written this story before but i changed it a lot and i wanted it to be perfect. So any who i hoe you enjoy this chapter, I'm not sure i will update again. **

**p.s. thank you ivebeenpossessedbysatan for not reading once but twice. I love u for that.**

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**Chapter 14 Cas**

Dean wants to have sex. Oh god he wants to have sex. He wants to have actually se. He wants to have intercourse. Intercourse …with me. He wants to have sex with me a guy. Dean wants to have sex with a guy and that guy is me. No matter how many times I say it I still cannot believe it. Oh god what am I going to do.

I figured we eventually have sex but Dean is so far in the closet I thought it would take me a while. Sure I have have had sex before but that was with Meg and a few other girls in town but never with a guy. I have no idea where I am going to start. What am I going to do? How do we do it. Do I just stick it in do I just let him stick it in. This is not going how I had thought.

I figured Dean and I would make out do other things for at least another year. I figured I could hook up with another guy first. I need to know what I am doing when it comes to him. I need it to be right so he can see that he can leave his girlfriend and just be who he is. I hate when things don't go according to plan.

Oh god I think I am having a panic attack. Dean is coming over here less then twenty four hours and I am going to mess everything up and it will just give him more reason to hold on tight to his girlfriend and he will never be with me. Why did I have to fall for him. Why couldn't I just focus on someone else. Why did I have to listen to Jo and Gabriel and make him face his feelings for me. Well he hasn't exactly faced his feelings. We have never talked about the way we feel about each other, but I am pretty sure we both have an idea. I'm sure Dean doesn't love me yet but some day he will. I know he will and someday I will too.

Yes I have very strong feelings for him but I refuse to let myself love him until I know for sure he will someday be mine. Not mine and someone else's. I know it might sound like a lost cost but I have faith. I know that someday we will be happy, he will be out the closet, and be willing to admit he is gay. Come to think about it I never asked him if he was gay or bi. He actually never asked me either. Well I am pretty sure he is gay. I watch him a lot more than I should and whenever a pretty girl walks by he barely notices her. Bella probably thinks she has the perfect boyfriend. The only girl he sees is her. If she only knew?

"Hey Cassie." Gabriel says as he sits down on the couch across from me.

"Hello, Gabriel." I say still trying to figure out how I am going to make this weekend perfect.

"Why do you look so constipated." Should I tell him or should I distract him by starting some banter that will somehow link back to Jo.

"What are doing home? Shouldn't you be out stalking Jo or at least making some excuse on how you aren't taking her out on a date you just hanging out with her."

"Umm" he says as he pops a starburst in his mouth. "I never stalk her and they are dates to me she just doesn't see it yet." It's so sad sometimes. I wonder how the hell we both got so caught on that family and they can't even see us back.

"Sure"

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about her." I'm shocked. I thought he could go an hour without saying anything about her.

"You don't."

"Why would I want to do that, when clearly something is bothering you?" I forget sometime that my brother is just a self-centered whore with a sweet tooth and an unnatural obsession on Jo. I forget he can be observant and thought at times. But that is very rare.

"Am I that obvious?"

"To me yes but to someone who didn't share a room with you up until last year no." he says as he eats another starburst. "Do I need open the liquor cabinet. You know we are running low, but I'm sure we I can get that homeless guy who lives in the alley to buy us some more. "

"No I don't need a drink." I really do need one but I don't need to solve everything with liquor.

"So are you going to tell me what's bothering you because I kind of got a plan to catch?"

"You're actually going to see him?" I know I should talk about what is going on but I am still stuck on the fact he is going to see our dad. He abandon us. He just moved away and left us here. If he wanted to see us he would have come to visit by now but he hasn't.

"Cassie I don't have time for your daddy issues. Just tell me whatever happen between you and Deano so I can get going."

"Why would you think it has something to do with Dean?" Stupid question I know.

"Okay" he says as he rubs his face. "If you want to pretend to like the love of your life didn't do something that through you through a loop then okay. Fine, I 'll get going." He says as he is about to get up.

"Dean wants to have sex." I blurt out. I see my words have stun him. He looks like he is literally frozen in place.

"Deano wants to bang you" he says as he slowly sits back down.

"Yes" Gabriel says nothing as he just look into space. I wish he would just say what is on his mind. This isn't like Gabriel. He has been pretty open about my sexuality and has actually talked to me about my feelings as if I am talking about a girl but now I don't know. Maybe I have taken it too far.

"So what's the problem. Can't decide who top's" Okay he's back. For a minute I thought he was disgusted. I should have known he say something like this.

"Gabriel please be serious."

"I am serious. Are you scared he wants to penetrate you?" Seriously can he just get pass the physical part and see what is going through my head mentally.

"I'm scared that once I do that it will be over between us."

"Ohhhh… okay…. Why would it be over between you two."

"What if he doesn't like it? I want Dean to see it's nothing wrong with just being with me. I don't want him give him any reason to hide further back in the closet than he already is." It's true. I want to be with him. I am trying to be patience with him. I know he is having a hard time. He doesn't have to say anything but I know it's bothering him, but I am hoping at the end of the day he see's it's me he belongs with.

"That' stupid lil bro. You're a Novak. We give our lovers the maxium amount of pleasure. I mean come on if I have heard the girls you have hooked up with this summer. I know you have it in you."

"It's different with him."

"why because he's a guy."

"No" It's not. I have an emotional attachment to Dean, I don't want to disappoint him.

"Okay I get it." Finally my brother see's where I am coming from. He knows why. AT least I hope. "Look you aren't going to disappoint him. You have a gift for making people moan. I mean look I am witness to it. I started sleeping with ear phones just to get peace. If you want I can text him and tell him he is going to have the time of his life. I can even give him examples.

"NO" I say to quick. Okay Dean doesn't know I have been hooking up with different girls this summer. I might sound like a jerk but I can't live off of blow jobs alone. Yes it might be wrong but you start having sex and see if you can stop. Plus Dean never said anything about me just being with him

"Dean doesn't know"

"No he doesn't and I don't want him to know."

"Why not? I never keep any thing from my Cotton."

"Maybe that's why she doesn't want to be with you." Okay that might have been harsh.

"Today but she will come around, but we aren't talking about my love life we are talking about you and your closeted boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfiend." I want him to be my boyfriend though.

"Today, but I won't tell him you have been sleeping around. Just tell me what exactly your problem is."

"I already told you." Sometime I hate talking to him. He knows me so well but he doesn't listen.

"Right you are afraid you might disappoint and or scare him off. Looks just do him already. Have faith that it will all work out for the good. Just make sure you have plenty of lube. I don't think trhat part of the body gets wet. Okay."

"Okay."

"Good, now stop being such a chick about it." Gabriel is right besides the whole chick part. I should just do it and have faith that he will like it. I just hope he knows he's bottoming.

The next twenty four hours or so flew by faster than I would have liked. It's Friday and Dean is here and I am nervous as ever. Luckily I am not the only one. He is trying to hide but I can tell.

"Dean, why are you acting nervous?" I had to ask. He has been sitting quiet and stiff the whole night. He has been here a few hours and have barley said a word to me. I thought that ,Maybe if I ask we can talk about our nervous. I should have known better. Of course he tried to play it off.

I keep telling myself to relax but I can't help it even though this nothing was out of the ordinary. It's like any other time he has spent the night. We ate, watched a movie, and played Xbox. Maybe because I know what is going to happen tonight it the reasoning my stomach keeps turning. Maybe if this would happen out of the blue I would feel better. What am I saying of course it would.

Now it is the end of the night came and I suggested we go to his bedroom. Normally we would already be there but this time I had to tell him. We have been in here fifteen minutes already and Dean is sitting on my queen sized bed shaking. He's trying to control it but he is doing a good job with his leg.

"Dean" I say said sitting down next to him and placing my arm on his shoulder. "We don't have to do this." The minute the words came out of my mouth I regret it. Of course i want to do this. I have been thinking about this since we first kissed but I am showing fear. Both of us having fear won't work. I have to be brave for the both of us. I have to confident enough to show him I am worthy enough to be his first. I have to show him he made a good choice of gang me his virginity and not his girlfriend.

"I want to. I asked you to do this remember." He says ever so shyly. I'm glad he said that but I would have waited until he was ready if he changed his mind.

"I'm glad" I say as I grab his face and pull him into a tender kiss. My usually style is rough but tonight I am going to be nothing but gentle.

After I kissed him no more words were said. I pulled Dean even closer and keep k kissing him until I leaned him back and laid him over my bed. We laid there kissing slowing moving our hands around each other's body my body was completely on top of him. I placed my lips on his neck and began kissing all around until I found the spots that made him moan loud.

"Take off your clothes." I said in a low sensual voice. I have no idea why I am talking like this but Dean just does something to me. Of course he said nothing as I stood up to take off my clothes. It could be my imagination but it looks like he took his clothes off in a hurry. Maybe it's not, I notice Dean does like being told what to do.

Once his clothes were off he laid back and I took am moment to admire his beauty slim body. I see our work outs have paid off I can see muscles starting to form on him. I have to say I like it no I love him and I might love him.

I resumed kissing his neck once I lay back on top of him. As I made my way to my ear something came over me. Nothing else matters anymore, all I know is I have to please him whatever it takes. Everything makes sense to me now. I slept with Meg and all those toher girls for practice. They helped me get ready for this. They he get ready to please him. IT was so I would disappoint him.

I was going to do this with him on this stomach but now I want to look at his face. I want to look into his eyes and see everything he his feeling.

"Spread your legs." I commanded. Of course his eyes popped out of his head when he realizes what I had in mind.

"Umm Cas I thought maybe I'd top" he said nervously. Did he now? Well then I have surprise for him. I don't know why he thought he would I have been the dominant one when it comes to our sexual relationship.

I snickered, I didn't mean to but it came out. I'll just go with it and whisper. "Oh no Dean, tonight you are mine and I get to do whatever I want with what is mine."

That did it. Dean see's he has no choice and now he is lying there spread eagle as my brother would say. Damn he look so sexy, my cock is so hard right now. He loves the way I am taking control. Why is he with her again? Right I am not worried about that. Right now I am showing him what should be and could be all the time.

"Turn over" I command. I know I want to see his face but since he said that crap about him topping I am going to show him who is boss.

I love that he does what I say. Soon as I say it does it. This is going to be awesome.

I started kissing my way down his spine. Balthazar taught me that. He says it drives girls crazy and I see it's work for him to. He is moaning at how good it feels. I stop once I got to the top of his ass. I slapped him on his right cheek turning it bright red. It looks so delicious right now. "Get on all fours" I commanded again. Dean happily obeyed and got on all fours. I ran my hands up and down his back and ass. I used both hands to grab both cheeks to give them a squeeze. "You have such a tight ass. I can't wait to shove my dick all the way in there." I said before releasing both hands. Did I mention Dean is loving this right now. I can hear him breathing heavy and his cock his rock hard right now. Maybe later I'll suck it and make him swallow his own cum again. That's later though right now I have something else in mind. I leaned over to my night stand and pulled out lube. I didn't grab a condom because I always use them and he is a virgin. Plus I want to cum inside of him and I want him to feel it. I want him to remember it. I smacked his ass one more time before I poured some lube on my fingers. Once they were nice coated I pushed them into Dean's opening.

"Awwwww" He said. Oh god he is in pain. I went to fast I need to slow it down. I got a heaod of myself.

So once I pulled them out, I started again this time only putting one in making sure he didn't feel any pain, but he did but now I remember what I read online.

"Relax sexy, it will get better." I said in my most comforting voice. He did and then I added a second and then a third. Next thing I know I was stroking them in and out making sure I hit his sweet spot.

After a couple minutes of fingering him he is now open enough. I quickly lube myself up and line myself up with his wait whole. It felt so tight around my finger I can only image what it will feel like around my dick. I need to stop before I come before he does.

"Oh shit" He says as soon as I start my first thrust.

"Does it hurt?"" I ask because I can't tell if he is in pain.

"Keep going" That's all I need to here.

"Relax trust me. It will get better." I said that just in case he is in pain. Plus I can feel him tensing up.

"Okay" I'm glad he listens to me. Soon as Dean started to relax he start pushing himself on me. He is such a cock hungry slut. Shit I don't where that came from but now I am going in and out. The warmth and tightness is almost too much for me, but I can't stop now. I have to keep going. I wanted to be slow but I can't help it. He brings out the animal in me and I need to please him.

After a few minutes I want to cum right now but I am fighting it. I want and need Dean to come first. I hope I'm not hurting him but I can't stop as I thrust in and out. It doesn't help that Dean is moaning like he is crazy. What was I thinking fucking him like this? I wish I could see his face.

If I see his face I will come, I just can imagion the faces he is making. If they are anything like when I blow him then they would only make me come faster. Oh god he is so tight and warm. Oh god I am actually moaning out load.

I know I am hitting his hit a spot he is only getting louder. Thank god my brother aren't here for this. I have to make sure to keep hitting that spot over and over again.

"Oh my god Cas. That feels so good." He whimpered. Good I'm glad. I bet your girlfriend couldn't do you like this.

"It feels good inside you. You like it when I fuck you with my cock." I said thrusting harder than the last time. I don't like moaning. So I think I'll try dirty talk instead.

"Yesssssssssss" he moaned. I feel the same way.

"You like it when I make you cry out like a little bitch." I said driving into him faster. "Say it Dean. Say you're my bitch." I said slapping him on the ass

"I'm your bitch" he moaned as he started to tighten around me. I think he might be about to cum. I hope he is because I can't hold it too much longer..

"Are you going to be a good little bitch and cum for me" I groaned through his teeth.

"Yes I'm going to-" was all the words he could get put before he came over the bed, I pumped four more times before I came inside of him. Oh god that felt so good. I need to do that more often.

After a couple seconds I used my last ounce of strength to pull out of Dean and roll over on my back. Dean followed and rolled over on his back not caring he was lying in a wet spot.

"Damn Cas." Dean says once he caught his breath

"I didn't hurt you did I." I ask. He chuckled like it was a joke. Doesn't he know I am being sincere I wanted him to enjoy it. I don't want to hurt him ever. Not physically not emotionally. I think I might love him. I can't believe a few seconds ago I was calling him my bitch and he went along with him. God I don't know what I am going to do if he never comes out the closet. Of course he will, I just have to give him time.

"No" he finally says kissing me on the lips. I can't but feel so happy. All I can do right now is put my arm out for Dean to come cuddle with me. I thought it was a long shot but he actually laid his head on my chest. If he is listen to my heart beat then he knows how I feel.

Tonight was great I just hope it was for him. I think it might have been because he lets me wrap me arms around him as we listen to each other breathe.

I wish this could last forever but I know it won't but I don't want to think about that now. I'll just hold him until we both fall asleep.

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	15. Chapter 15 Dean

**Hello every one. So i' am getting to the point. If there are no reviews or followers i will end the story here. No reviews no update.**

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**Chapter 15: Dean**

I'm screwed, like totally screwed. I got screwed literally. I spent the whole weekend having sex. I had sex with a guy, with Cas. No matter how many times I say it it does feel real. This whole weekend doesn't feel real. I feel like I slipped out of my body and watch him do me in so many ways. I can't believe it I actually did it and it did not help.

I thought this weekend would help me get over the way I been feeling, but all it did was make me like it more. What am I going to do? I can't do it anymore? Shit I am starting to feel real sore in certain areas but I like every minute of it. I like the way it feels being with him. Right now I don't have a care in the world. All I can think about is us doing it. We have been doing it all weekend. We have done it everywhere in this house. We did it in the shower, on the couch; we even did it on Gabriel's bed. You name it we most likely done it there. I didn't know I could cum so much.

I think I am actually sad the weekend is coming to an end. I think I don't want to but I have to leave because Gabriel is coming home later on tonight

. "You know you don't have to leave today." Cas says as we lay in the bed naked. What we are doing I think is what people call spooning and I of course am the little spoon. Cas has his arms around me as he rest his head on mine. It feels weird but so good at the same damn time. Damn him and his sexiness. Why does he have to be so, so so. Damn I don't have a word that can describe what he is doing to me. I hate that he makes me feel like it's okay to feel like this. I know it's not okay. I have a girlfriend who is coming home tomorrow. I have made a commitment to her. I have to be there for her. I need to be the person she needs. How am I going to be that person now, when all I can think about is spending every second with him. I want to spend time with her too. How can I do both?

"Your quiet. Does that mean you are going to stay a little longer." He ask as I feel a little irritated now. How can ask me that? He promised that this would be our little secret. How can it be our secret if I am lying in bed with him like this when Gabriel gets home. Gabriel is one for respecting privacy. I know him. When he gets here he will walk right in and see us. Next thing you know he will be calling us some kind of freaks.

"I have to Cas I have something I have to do tomorrow."

"Yes but it's still early. You can stay a little longer." He says as he kiss the side of my head.

"I can't" I say as I push him off to sit up. He is pissing me off.

"What's wrong?" he says sitting next to me.

"Nothing"

"Come on. I can see something is bothering you." Why does he need to talk about it? Can't he just let it go. Oh great now he is running his hands threw my hair. Why does touch send waves down my spine?

"Fine, you said this was our secret. How can it be our secret if you want me to stay here? Your brother will be home soon."

"I don't understand your point." Now he is going to make me feel stupid.

"Cas don't play dumb. You want me to stay so you can fuck me some more and by doing that your brother will maybe just happen to walk in while it is happening."

He says nothing as he just chuckles. He is really laughing at me, like I just said something so funny. I want to punch him now. I think I might actually punch him.

"Dean, Gabriel won't know what we been doing all weekend. Not if we get dress and just watch a movie or something." Oh I never thought about it that way. I guess I'm so much caught on the sex I didn't realize we are still friends.

"Sorry Cas."

"For what?"

"For wanting to punch you."

"You wanted to punch me." He asks confused. I forgot I didn't say that out loud.

"Yeah but now I want to kiss you." I say as I pull him into a kiss. Maybe I could stay a couple more hours. After all Bella is coming home soon and once she is here, who knows when I will get to do something like this again. Something is worn with me but now I see it will take more than one weekend to fix me.

"Does this mean you are staying?" he asks breaking the kiss as he looks in my eyes. Sometimes I feel so uneasy when he looks at me. That can't be a good sign.

"If it's not too much of a problem?" I ask feeling really shy. Why do I feel shy? Oh god I opened up another can of worms with me. Hey maybe this is a good thing. It has to get worse before it gets better.

"I having you here. Whether we are having sex or not. I just want to spend more time with you." He says before kissing my forehead. Isn't that what dudes do to chicks. Does he think I'm a chick because he let me. Oh no he is not about to treat me like some girl. I am a boy and he will not do this to me. It's time I leave.

"I gotta go" I say jumping up.

"what did I do now?: he ask getting up right behind me.

"You are treating me like I'm some kind of girl." I say keeping my distance from him. He says nothing as I give him a dirty look.

"How did I treat you like a girl?" he ask as if I am trying his patience's. He got some nerve.

"You just did. I am not a girl Cas. I know you are a boy." I say a little too loud.

"I know you are a boy Dean. You are a sexy boy." He says stepping into my personal space. Unbelievable, he sees I'm upset and he just wants to ignore that try and seduce me again.

"Cas stop." I say once he pushes me against the wall and attacks my neck.

"I'll stop when I feel like it, but right now I need to prove to you that I you are a sexy boy." He says before he flips me around where my chest is against the door. For a minute there I thought he was going to let me top. I was wrong because now I am well you know what I am doing. So I'll skip ahead.

Fast forward twenty minutes later, he's got me back in bed and I am tired. I forgot what I was mad about. Now I don't want to move. Looks like I'll be staying.

"How do you feel?" he ask as he lays next to me but is touching me.

"Good, sore, and tired."

"That means I did it right?" he says with a chuckle.

"You sure did." I can't help but smile at him, especially since he puts his arm out for me to come here. I resisted for a minute before I ended up moving over to lay me head on his chest.

"Can I ask you something?" I say once we are comfortable.

"I don't think you are a girl. I know you are a boy. Please don't think I am treating you as such."

"What? No." I forgot about that. I was not thinking about that at all. I'm glad he said that to me though.

"OH then what is it?" he ask looking at me.

"Okay." I say taking a deep breath. "Cas I had a good time, but why wouldn't you let me top. I mean don't get me wrong I like bottoming. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would and want to do it again, but it would be nice to know what it feels like from the other end." There I said. I didn't think I would admit but I did. I just glad he is good at keeping secrets.

"You were mine this weekend Dean and I do what I want with what is mine." He says as I notice he is hard again. Jesus Christ did he pop a pill or something. He is just like the damn energizer bunny mixed in with a lion.

"I know I have a bit mark on my ass to prove it…" Earlier he bit me on the ass because he said he could. Where did he learn this stuff? Matter of fact I think I will ask. "Hey where did you learn all that stuff at fifteen anyway?"

"Some from the internet and some from the stories Balthazar and Gabriel have shared with me." He says so nonchalant.

"So you didn't learn any of this from being with any other person yourself."

"I have never been with a guy before Dean."

"But you have been with chicks."

"Yes I have." He says a little uneasy. Frankly I feel uneasy too. I don't like the thought of him being with other people but I can't say shit. I have a girlfriend and I know the two of us will end someday.

"Recently." Why am I asking?

"No" he says as a second. If I wasn't so happy right now I would wonder why he hesitated answering me but I don't care.

"Okay and tell your brother thanks oh and Meg I guess." I say smiling.

"You want me to tell him about this weekend" I knew it. He is itching to tell people. He wants people to know. "Relax. I was just joking" he says as he motions for me to move. I move as he sits up against the head board.

I should have known he was joking. I usually get his humor unlike other people. He can come across as dry but it's a slight change of tone in his voice that gives it away. If you aren't really paying attention then you would miss it.

"I know" I say as I lay my head on his lap. He instantly starting running his hands threw my hair. It feels so good. I am trying not to purr like a kitten. "You I know I was thinking about joining the basketball team at school and was wondering if you would join with me." I know this is a surprise, but I want to spend more time with him. My girlfriend is coming home so I will have to split my time between them. AT least if I join some activity with him it will give me a bit more time.

"You think I'm that good to make it." He can't just say yes or no.

"Are you kidding me you have one of the best lay ups I ever seen." He really does. You would know it but he is really good at pretty much anything he does.

"Thank you for the compliment but I do not know. I was thinking about playing baseball."

"We can do that too. Basketball is in the winter and baseball is in the spring." I hope I'm not coming across desperately.

"We?" he asks a bit surprised.

"Yeah it will give us more time to spend together."

"What about Bella?" Why did he have to say her name? I was feeling pretty good up until now. Now I know I'm cringing. I wasn't thinking about her and I didn't want to start, but of course she find ways to come into my thoughts.

"Can we not talk about her right now? I'm trying to talk about ways for us to spend time together."

"So you come up with the idea for us to spend time together with about twenty other guys in the mix." Why did he have to put it that way?

"That's only for a couple hours, but then after practice we could hang out with her asking any questions. Plus we can spend the next couple months working out and what not getting ready to try out."

"I guess that could work, but what about Gabriel and Balthazar. Gabreil rooms is right next to mine. He doesn't go away often."

"Well when he is around we can just hang, and do other stuff when is out with Jo or chasing some other girl and Balthazar does only pop once and a while.

"That is true."

"So is that a yes."

"Yes" he says as he leans down and kisses my cheek. I'm happy just as long as he doesn't treat me like a chick.

"Right so it sounds like a plan." I say as I smile. This might be wrong but I really don't care right now. Everything feels right, what could go wrong.

"I guess so"

"And Thursday we are going shopping."

"I hate shopping Dean. Why do we have to go?"

"Cause school starts in a week and we need new clothes. So you and I are going." Normally I wouldn't suggest we go shopping but Cas can dress like a dork. I need to pick out his clothes this time around. I need him looking good.

"Just you and me?" he asks taken back

"Yup"

"Then maybe this time I will enjoy this trip to the mall."

"Right." I say sitting up "Enough chit chat. Gabriel will be home soon so let's get one more round in and this time I top." I tease

"Yeah right." Cas says before pushing me on my back. "You're mine remember." He says before climbing on top of me.

**Jo**

I need to make new friends. First Gabriel goes way for the weekend which is shocking. I thought he couldn't go a day without seeing me, by the went two. He did come to see me before he left for the weekend.

I thought with him gone I could spend time with Meg but she has been acting funny since her and Cas broke up. I can't be mad at her. I would feel the same way if I was her. Finally Cas and Dean, they have been mi all weekend. I called and text them but I never got an answer. So with everybody being busy this weekend I was alone. It wasn't that bad I guess. I watched Orange is The New Black all weekend. It's a good show but I rather have been out with people.

At least that's over. Dean came home a hour ago. He was smiling and acting funny then went straight to his room. He said nothing to me. At least Gabriel is back. Gabriel came here to see me as soon as he got back. Of course he bought news. I just wish it would have been something about his weekend not about Destiel as he likes to call him.

"I'm serious Cotton they are doing it for real" Gabriel say as we sit on the porch swing outside my house. To say I am shocked would be the wrong thing to say. I figured they would start doing it at some point but I guess it just caught me off guard.

"Are you serious? How do you know?" I ask sitting next to him. Our hands are like inches apart and I want to touch but I don't want to give him the wrong idea. I am still not sure about us as a couple.

"They were doing it when I came home. I wasn't supposed to get home until tonight but I took an earlier flight and when I got home it was quiet. That is until I got in the hallway and walked past Cassie's room. I heard moaning and skin clapping." He says with a look of disgust on his face.

"Oh my god I thought they were just doing other stuff but really they are going all the way….Ewwwwww" I say as I wrinkle my nose.

"You know you look adorable making that face." There he goes. I was wondering how long he would take to do this. I'm not gone lie I kind of like it.

"Cut it out Gabriel…I wonder who tops." I say trying to redirect the conversation

Gabriel did a grin on his face to let me know he knows. Of course he knows. He is so nosy.

"Oh my god you know. You pervert what you do peak in on them." I say slapping him on the shoulder. I hope it wasn't to hard.

"Oh god even I wouldn't do that. Let's say they were having a conversation." A conversation. Like dirty talk. Ill but it's interesting.

"Oh god what did you hear."

"You sure you want to know."

I thought about it for a minute before saying "I want to know who tops and what your heard." Hey it's no turning back now. Wouldn't you want to know?

Gabriel couldn't keep a straight face as he says "Castsie tops and I heard something along the mines of that's a good little bitch, your ass just loves my dick buried deep."

"NOOOOOO" I say in shock "I can't believe it wow. Where did he learn such things?" I think I am more surprised at the fact that Cas talks dirty then him topping. I remember Meg telling me stories about them and well let's just say I half expected it.

"I can believe it the quiet ones be the ones that surprise you and he learned it from Balthazar. I can't tell you how many stories I have heard from him about his sexual relations not to mention how much you hear when you live in a small house."

"WOW" was all I could say.

"SO can we tell them now we know?" Gabriel pleaded. We can't do that. Dean doesn't know that we know. It would totally mess up there entire vibe. Plus if we pull him out the closet it might cause a lot more damage than needed.

"NO we wait for Dean to come to us, but we can become cock blockers just to mess with them." I sat giving him a devious grin.

"We are soo meant to be?" Gabriel says putting his arm around me.

We might not be meant to be but we are best friends for life and right now having his arm around with the plan to fuck with Dean totally worth spending the weekend alone.

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**p.s. next chapter some secrets will come out **


	16. Chapter 16 Gabriel

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**I hope you enjoy this. It's not told from Cas or Dean pov but i think you will like it.**

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**Sophomore Year**

**Gabriel**

"Oh Dean baby, I can't believe it's the first day of school again." Bella said as we walked down the hallway holding hands with Dean. They make me sick. Do they think this is okay when in front of friends? I'm walking right beside them trying not to roll my eyes too much. Even if Cassie and Dean didn't have a thing, do they think it's okay to make out in front of me. Better yet does Dean thinks it's okay to flaunt his relationship in front of my love sick little brother. I get Bella but Dean should know better.

"I know" he said kissing her on the cheek. Its lunch time and Dean, Bella, and Cassie just made their way outside to have lunch in the schools garden. Once again Cotton and I had the same lunch period as them.

"Well if it isn't the happy couple and Bella." I say smirking.

"Bite Me douche bag." Dean barked back. Oh he wants to play. Okay I get it. I'll play right along.

"Calm down Deano. Talking like that might get your ass kicked." I say as I figure out a way to get him back for his smart mouth. He doesn't know that I know about him, but he better be careful I don't tell be he just spent the weekend being my brothers little bitch. Dean might be my friend but Cassie is my brother and I know Dean will end up hurting him. I need to find a way to help my brother and to get Jo to go out with me, but defiantly help my brother.

"By who? You?" You break Cassie's heart I will.

?"No silly by your cousin. Only she is allowed to bite me. Isn't that right Cotton" I say smiling at Jo. She says nothing; she just laughed as she tried to move her beautiful pink hair out of her face. I know she likes it when I call her that. I can see it in her eyes.

"No you two need to stop." Bella chimed in. Who asked her. Honestly why doesn't she make any other friends. She has to know we aren't really her friends. "Honestly Castiel how do you stand it when you are around these two." Did she just call him by his full name? Yeah this chick really doesn't know us at all. She is hot though. I'd hit. That is if I didn't have a thing for the cotton candy hair beauty to my left. but I'm trying to behave. I stop hooking up with random girls just to show her I'm serious.

Cassie l just looked at Bella. I know he secretly hates her. He doesn't have to say it. I bet he hasn't said a word since he learned she would be joining them for lunch. I bet he hoped that she would get a different lunch period so he could spend more time with Dean. Just looking at himis enough to tell he was trying his best to fight the temptation of just cold clocking her for putting her lips on Dean.

"Castiel can you hear me?" She says waving her hand in front of his face. Will she stop calling him Castiel? Nobody calls him that.

"I'm sorry, what?" he says breaking out of whatever fantasy he is having. I wonder if I could get Jo to just beat the shit out of her. I bet that would help him with he is going through. He didn't say anything to me but I know him. I know her being here is bothering her.

"Never mind sweetness. I see you got lost in a day dream." Yeah probably about your plane crashing.

Lunch went almost normal for the next twenty minutes. We talked leaving Bella out of the conversation. I don't know if it was intentional for the others but it was intentional for me. I know it means but it's what I have to do. I had to choose a side which is something Dean needs to do, but I'll talk about that when he comes out of the closet. Knowing him though it will be teen years from now. Father god in heaven I hope not.

So as the five of us sat there chatting and eating our lunch, we were approached by a girl. I know this girl but I don't know where though. Oh this is going to drive me crazy.

"Hi." She says nervously to Cassie. It's starting to come to me.

"Hello" He says in a neutral voice. Cassie is good. To any one like Bella he appears normal but I can tell he is shitting bricks right now. Why is he shitting bricks? Who is this girl?

"I'm Phoebe. I'm in his English class." She says to the rest of us. Okay she foes to this school but that's not why I know her. Damn this is annoying.

"how are you?." He says looking at the brunette with the chocolate eyes. She is sexy I might add. I'd hit that too. Man am I glad that Jo can't read my mind right now. She is starting to come around. She might not want to admit it but I know she is.

"I was wondering if you would like to go out again." She says fidgeting. Wait I know who she is. She is the last girl my brother banged. I remember her she was really loud. Man Cassie really stuck it to her. I am so proud of him. Matter of fact he banged her like a couple days before he stuck it to Dean.

Oh shit. Dean doesn't know about her or about the other ten girls her hooked up with this summer. Yeah my baby brother banged eleven girls this summer. If you are wondering how let me tell you. It a combination of those bat blues and being a Novak. It's just in our blood.

So I should tell you, everybody had a different reaction to the girl's question. Jo and I eyes darted to Dean's face to see his reaction. Dean looked like he was about to explode. His face was starting to turn red; I love the fact that he is jealous. I tried their hardest not to laugh and so did Cotton. Bella of course has no clue what was going on she just sat there waiting to hear Cassie's respond. Oh my god that's it. I know Me and Cotton said we would cock block but this is so much better. I'll just let it slip out that he has been hooking up with other people. Maybe that will light a fire under Dean's ass. Cotton might me pissed at me but she will get over it.

"I'm sorry. You seem like a nice girl and I do find you very attractive, but at this moment I am unable to take you up on your offer." He deadpans. Of course she looks so upset. I think she is two seconds away from slapping him.

"Oh" she says disappointed "Well if you change your mind you know where to find me." She says before she walked away. I'm disappointed. I was hoping she cause a scene.

"Dude, what the hell?" Gabriel say soon as she was out of earshot. Even though she didn't do what I hoped there is still an opportunity here. Dean doesn't know I know, but Cassie and Cotton knows I know. They are going to be pissed at me but I have to do this. This will make them talk about what they have going on.

"Yeah Cas, why would you turn her down." Jo chimed in. I think I love her. She gives me a look telling me she is on the same page. My god she is perfect. I'm going to marry her someday.

"OH shut up Thing 1 and Thing 2" Dean shot at us "If he didn't wanna go out with her then that is his business." He says folding his arms. I love this. Dean is jealous and he doesn't know what to do.

"Dean shut up. We weren't talking to you." Jo says turning back to Cassie.

"I would rather not talk about it." Cassie says trying to end the conversation. Right now he is giving me the shut the hell up look. Forgive me brother but I have to do this. This for best Cassie. You can be mad but I'm trying to help you.

"Come on Castiel I would like to hear it too." Bella chimed in. Cassie cuts his eyes at her. I can read his mind right now he is screaming he is screwing her boyfriend and doesn't have the time..

"I do not wish to date her, because I already hooked up with her." Way to go Cassie. I knew he would be forced to admit it. I know what I am doing might be considered wrong but Dean needs to see secrets do come out.

"So was she like a bad fuck." My wonder beautiful future wife says. Of course she gives me a smile only I understand. Cassie doesn't know I let her in on what he has been doing this summer.

"No, It's just been there done that." He says annoyed. HE doesn't want to talk about it anymore but oh well.

"Wow, so you hooked up with her. I had no idea you were such a ladies man. How many girls have you hooked up with? Bella asks like she is very interested.

"I wish not to talk about this anymore" he says looking at dean. Dean is sitting there biting his lip turning red. He is pissed. I love it. Serves him right, who is afraid of being gay anymore. Does he like read a newspaper or watch the news. IT's okay to be gay. Nobody cares.

"We should respect his wishes?" Dean finally says. I think his eyes her turning black. He must be about to pop a blood vessel. This is my cue.

" Oh what you are jealous Deano. Our little Cassie here was a regular Casanova this summer. He should be able to brag among friends. Isn't that what we are for?" I say looking at Dean. I can feel Cassie just glaring at me. I think he might punch me later.

"Gabriel" Cassie says a stern voice. Maybe I should shut up.

"Tell me he's joking." Dean says giving my brother a pleading look. Aww I think he might actually be hurt. Good serves him right.

"No Dean he is not." Cassie says as if he is ashamed.

Dean looks like he wants to kill someone at that very moment. Bella of course doesn't realize and Cotton and me just want to laugh.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean says showing some anger.

"What's the matter Dean? You jealous the Cassie here has been rounding the bases and you are in stand eating peanuts." I say trying not to laugh at Dean practically foaming at the mouth. I know I should shut up but this is just too good.

"Shut up before I kick your ass." He says before he gets up and storms off.

So I should tell you Dean went the rest of day sulking around. He did not speak to Cassie for the rest of day which was hard considering his last two classes are shared with him. Cassie did try talking to him but all Dean would do is grit his teeth and walk past him. Cassie told me he felt confused at Dean's behavior after all he had a girlfriend himself but he did feel bad about lying to Dean. By the time we get home Cassie decided to give Dean some space. He figured that maybe he'd be ready to talk tomorrow. Also He di dpunch me once we got home. It was toally worth it though.

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**Jo**

Dean had been in a fucked up mood all day. I get his is upset that Cas has been fucking other chicks but her has no room to talk. He has no reason to be snapping on anybody. He is in this situation because of him. I get what Gabriel was doing and I agree with it. Dean has to learn he can't have the best of both worlds.

"What the hell Dean?" I say as me and Dean walked in the kitchen after school. I have been waiting all day to talk to him.

"What?" he yells back

"Oh No Dean Winchester, you will not yell at me in that tone. I don't know what has you all bent out of shape but you need to build a bridge and get over it." I spat out.

"I'm sorry. You're right." He said sitting down at the kitchen table. Damn right I am.

"You wanna talk about it." I say sitting down next to him. I'm hoping he does. I'm tired of keeping this in.

"Where are Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen?" he asks as if he has something to tell me.

"How the hell should I know I came in the same time you did." I have to act like I have no idea what is bothering him

"Well they'd been in here by now if they were home to say Hi, right."

"Yeah" I say wishing he move it along.

"Well I have to tell you something and promise me you won't tell another soul." I thinkhe might be telling me.

"I promise" I says sitting next to him. I place my hands on top of his to let him know I am here for him.

"Look the reason I'm mad is because Cas admitted he slept with other people this summer. I mean …. How do I say this…..I mean…. Shit how do I say?" He is having trouble getting his words out. I'll just sit here patiently and wait for him to get it out.

"Look it's a long story but since last summer I have been having these feelings for Cas and I acted on them. Basically we have been friends with benefits. We aren't exclusive but I am upset he lied to me about being with other people. I'm not making sense. Do you have any questions" He told me. He actually told. I need to call Gabriel and tell him. He is going to be so happy. Wait I need to give him a response first.

I get up and wrap my arms around him. I hug his as tight as I want to let him know ti's okay

"Aww Dean" I say before I let go and slap him hard upside the head.

"Hey what the hell was that for." He says rubbing his head.

"What the hell took you so long?" I shouldn't have said that. Shit why did I say that. I hope that doesn't freak him out.

"YOU knew" he says surprised. Is he secretly freaking out? I can't tell. I hope I didn't mess this up.

"Hell yeah, my room is right next to yours. That tree that is in front of your window, well news flash it's also in front of my window. You know how many nights this summer I've seen Cas in that tree. Not to mention some of the noises I've herd." Maybe if I word it like this he won't know Cas told me.

"How long have you known? Does Gabriel know? Why didn't you tell me?" He fires out. Damn it.

"Calm down Dean. Yes Gabriel knows we have known sine new years.. We decided to keep it to ourselves until you were ready to talk about it."

"So you have known this whole time? Cas told you didn't he." He demands. Damn it.

"Yes." Why did I say that. I have a hard time lying.

"He told you?"

"Yes but he only told us because he knows we won't care." I say hating myself. I know I should have lied but I think it's better to get the truth out there.

"You don't care?" he asks surprised

"No you are my pain in the ass loud mouth cousin, but I love you so if you are gay I don't care." I'll leave out the part where I had trouble coming to terms. Yes I'm lying and I feel horrible about that but there's a time and a place.

"But I'm not." He said. Of course he is but I guess he's not ready yet.

"Well what are you then.?"

"I'm confused." You sure the hell are. He's gay, he's just not ready to admit it yet.

"Well you will figure it out and I'm here for you. These things take time. I'm not exactly sure when though, but you will. Oh god I'm not making any sense." I say hoping he is feeling better.

"Not really but I get what you are saying thank you " he says standing up to give me a hug.

"Anytime." She I say hugging him back. Once the hug broke apart, I slapped dean up side the head.

"What was that for?" he asks.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You have a girlfriend and you're cheating on her with your male best friend and now you're jealous because he has screwed other people. What type of soap opera chick flick drams shit have you gone and gotten yourself into." I know I'm acting bi polar but I have to point this out. He can be gay but I am not okay with cheating.

"But-" he tries to say

"NO" I say cutting him off "No excuses. You have some nerve. You are cheating on Bella with Casand he is screwing other chicks and now your feelings are hurt. You are the last person in this to have hurt feelings. Unless he agreed to just screw you then he did nothing wrong, even you two are in a secret relationship you can't say shit, because you are still in the wrong."

"OK I get what you are saying but what about-"

"What about what? He doesn't have to answer to you and don't get me started on the fact you have a girlfriend again. Why are you even with her?"

"I love her Jo."

I just looked at him. I want to slap him for a third time but I decided against it. I feel like I am wasting my breath talking to him. So I decided to gather my things and go to my room.

Just as I as making my way up the back stairs, I turned to Dean and said "Dean please be careful. I know I don't know much about what's going on inside of you but even a blind man can see that a situation like this will get messy."

I didn't give him a chance to respond, I hope he is thinking about what I just said. Knowing him he is trying to justify it. I just hope he realizes before it is too late, but I can't think about that right now. I have to call Gabriel and tell him about Dean's break through.

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**Hope you enjoyed. What do you think is going threw Cas and Dean's head right now.**

**was Gabriel and Jo wrong? **

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	17. Chapter 17 Dean

**hello everyone**

**here is the next chapter hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think.**

**i would to mini for her review. I loved it. It made me what to update just for you. hope you like mamas**

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**Chapter 17 Dean **

That son a bitch. He looked right into my eyes and told me he hasn't been with other girls. He lied to me. I have never lied to him, but he did. Why the fuck would he lied to me? I am so mad right now. I gave that fucker my virginity only to find out he is a piece of shit. I don't care what Jo said or the fact I am acting like a chick. He lied to me and I don't like the fact the lied to me. He lied to me about hooking up and about what we got going on is our secret. He told straight out that it was out secret, He left out the fact that two other people has known this whole time. I don't know what makes me more pissed. He has had so many chances to tell me the truth but he chose not. He only decided to tell me when he was cornered. I can't believe I was actually thinking it was okay to feel this way.

That son of a bitch. He lying only give me more reason to why this I am broken. What we have isn't right. I need to stick with Bella. I can't believe I was actually thinking about breaking up with her. Yes I was thinking about breaking up with her. After our weekend together I was thinking I couldn't have be with her but now I see I need to be with her. She is what is right. Fuck him and what I was thinking about us being together.,

It's been a week since I have really spoken to him. I have nothing to say to him. I am to mad to even form words. He would say hello when he saw me. I would only speak to him when I had too. We are partners in a couple classes. If it wasn't about our work then I said shit him. We still ate lunch with the rest of our friends which we were meant together. Whenever Cas tried to approach mean the halls, I would walk away. Of course Gabriel and Jo found it hilarious the way I was acting. Fuck them. They love the fact I was an idiotic about them knowing. Bella of course had no clue as to what was going on. I'm lucky she trusts me. What am I thinking cheating on her? She deserves more. I'm lucky she didn't notice that we weren't speaking. I didn't feel like making up some story.

I'm not trying to be childish or selfish, I'm just confused about the way Cas makes me feel. Just the thought of him made my pants and heart tighten, but at the same time so does Bella. I realize I need to get over being jealous about Cast sleeping with other people. It's silly, selfish and a sign. Jo was right. Don't let her know that though. I'd never hear the end of it. I might ne all three but I want Cas to myself. I don't care that I have a girlfriend. He owes me. He let me believe that only me and him knew about us.

I want Cas to myself. If he wants me then he will agree to only be with me. That is if he he wants to earn back my trust. That's what I am going to say to him when I see him. I have been thinking about this for the last two days. Nothing is going to stop me. I want to be with Bella but I want to be with Bella, If he wants me then he will agree to it. If he says yes then it tells me that someday I can trust him again.

"Well if it isn't Juliet." Gabriel says as I come through the door. They never keep their door locked, plus I am too mad to even knock.

"Shut up Ass face." Dean I say already starting to feel like coming over here might have been a mistake. "Where's your brother." I ask trying to compose . I need to keep my eye on the prize.

"He's in his room." Gabriel says with a smirk as he sat on the couch. I wish he wasn't here. Why isn't he trying to hit on my cousin right now?

I ignored something Gabriel said as I made his way to Cas's room.

Once I got to his door I didn't bother to knock, I just open the door and walked right in. I wish I did knock. Once I am inside I stand there frozen once I realize what is going on. Cast was laying on his back with his shirt off, with a blond haired girl laying on top of him in her bra and panties.

I can't believe him. He has been trying to talk to me all week and yet he still has the time to hit on some slut. He is such a bastard.

"Dean?" he says shocked and confused to see me standing there.

"Heyy….. Hey Cas" I say unable to move. I am able to move. Just if I move I might hit him. If I hit him that might bring up more questions.

"You remember Chastity from school right" he says as she moved from on top of him to the side of the bed where I usually laid. I can't believe it he is saying it as if I don't matter. He saying it as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Yeah, hey what's up? Can I talk to you?" I says as I remember to move my feet.

"Chastity can you give us a minute."

"I should go anyway" she says as she stands up to gather her things. Cast walks her out after she a gotten dress.

"What the fuck was that?" I yelled. I don't care how this looks. I am jumping down his throat.

"What the fuck Dean? I have been trying to talk to you all week, but you don't have anything to say to me. Now you burst in here like some scorned lover" Cas growled out in voice so low but so powerful.

"That's what I came here to talk to you about. I come in here thinking that you would being doing your homework like you normal but no I come in here you're screwing the school whore." I say as my whole body began to shake. He got some nerve, he lied to me. I have a right to be upset. He should be waiting on me.

"I don't understand Dean why are you upset. You have a girlfriend and you and I are not together. Last time I checked I can screw anybody I want." He says as he moves in on me.

I started backing up until my back was against the wall. Cast's face was inches away from mine. I'm trying to resist him but he being so mad is turning me on. This is not what I had in mind. I didn't expect getting turned on when I came over here. We stood there for a minute having a staring contest before he moved his lips to my ear and whispered. "You know you got a lot of nerve and a big ass mouth. But its ok I like it when you're feisty. I find it to be a turn on. Tell you what; why don't you just admit you don't want me giving this cock to anybody but you? Admit you like me and you want to be my secret boyfriend."

Dean felt his legs start to weaken. The sound of Castiel voice ran chills up his spine. All he wanted to do was right there was kiss him. Castiel looked Dean in the eye and Dean felt like he was melting, but he wouldn't give in. He wouldn't let him just tell him what to do. Who the hell did he think he was?

"Screw you Cas. I just came over here to tell you that I hope your using protection with your whores." Screw him and what he thinks he knows, He might turn me on and be right but I'm not giving in. He still owes me.

He gets on my nerves. He really just laughed at my words, before he pressed me against the door giving me a full blown kiss.

I wanted to fight it , but I could not and did not fight it, the second our lips touched all pervious thoughts were gone. As our tongues danced in each other mouths, Cas wrapped his hands around the small of my back and turned them around so that my back was against the wall. Damn him and sexiness. He knows I can't resist. I hate when he does this to me. He knows this is wrong.

"On your knees" he commanded. On my knees. I didn't' think this where this is going. I should resist but I can't. I obeyed as I got down. I can't even think. I have to do what he tells me.

Soon as I got down I placed my hand on his zipper and pulled his semi erected member out. Damn it looks so good. Without thinking I opened my mouth to swallow half of it and began sucking. Cas put his hands on the back of my head and ran his finger through his hair as he bobbed up and down. What am I doing? What is this power he has over me? I don't want to do this but yet I need to please him.

"OHHHH Dean, that's a good boy." He moaned. I ran my tongue up and down the shaft before I started twirling my tongue in a circle as I began moving my head up and down. I don't know when I got so good at doing this but I see ti's working. I'm ready to make his whole body explode. It's my mission now. I need to make him come as hard as ever.

"Take of your clothes." He directs . I stood up and removed my clothes in a matter of seconds. Once I was naked Cas pulled me over to him and began kissing me again. As we kissed Cas started fingering me as he moved me towards his bed. In one quick motion, I found himself falling backwards onto the bed. Castiel climbed on top of me and began kissing my neck as his hands made its way down to my hard cock. I wish he wouldn't have left my ass. He slowly began stroking my cock in a circular direction while popping his wrist up and down. Damn that feels awesome. I never want him to stop.

"UMMMM" I whimpered while my eye's rolled to the back of my head.

"You like that don't you?" he says as he begins to place small kisses on my neck.

"So muchhhhh" I say tring to pump into Castiel's hand.

"No No" if you do that again I will stop." He says giving me a stern look. I hate and love it when he does it that way.

"You son of a bitch." He groaned between his teeth.

"You haven't seen anything yet." Castiel say as he stops stroking to grab the lube in his night stand. He poured a generous amount in his palm and rubbed it up and down his dick. He then proceeded to a line himself with my hole. Without hesitation he plunged himself all the way in making sure he hit my sweet spot upon impact. I don't know how he knows but somehow he knows to hit that spot upon impact.

"Shit" I couldn't help but cry out. Cas stay in place for a moment while he wrapped my legs around his waist. He laid his body on top of his mine so that there was no space between us. "Look at me" he says. I guess he noticed my eyes were closed. I suddenly opened my eyes and starred in the ocean of blue that were his eyes.

"You like it when I hit that spot." He says pulling out and thrusting all the way in. "I know you do." He says as he thrust in and out. "I know I love hitting it. You feel so good. You're so tight and warm. It's unbelievable." He moaned as placed his hands around the back of my head to pull me into a needy kiss.

He feels so good inside of me. I hate that I love it. Why does it have to feel so good. Why can't we switch places?

"Oh my god Cas." I moaned after I broke away for air. "So good" I moaned as I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist. "It feels so good." Soon Cas began kissing me again as he pushed in and out making the me come undone. "Admit it Dean. Admit what I said earlier." He commanded. I have no idea what I said earlier. Right now I am caught up in the now.

"NOOOOO" I cried as I felt my body shake. Soon as I was on the edge Cas pulled out and pushed in one more time before he stopped. My whole body jolted with a white hot burning sensation and then I felt nothing.

"Why'd you stop?" I whined.

"Look me in my eyes and admit you want me to be your boyfriend and I'll keep going," Damn him. Why did he have to bring this up. He knows I can't resist him. If I say no he'll keep on going. Why does he have to do this now?

I looked Cas in eye and felt an intense warmness take over me. In that moment I knew I would hate it if anybody else got to experience all that is Castiel. Yeah that's right I said his full name. If you felt what I was feeling you would say his whole name too.

"Fine" I groaned, hating myself.

"What was that?" he asks as if he doesn't know. I know he heard me.

"You heard me." I say as I try to push down on him.

"Say it." He says thrusting into me hard one time.

"I want you to be my boyfriend." I shouted. At this point I say anything to get him to keep going. I feel like I am about to cum.

"Good" he says as he attacks my mouth. "I'm your boyfriend." He says he starts to thrust into so hard. He is going hard into me. I think the bed is shaking.

"Oh god" I yell at I start to cum.

"Shit" he yells out as he cums inside of me.

There is filled with nothing but the sound of us breathing heavy. He pulls out of me as me make ourselves comfortable on the bed. We are just lying here holding hands looking at the ceiling. I don't know about him but I kind of feel happy. I just hope it last. I hope I can trust him again.

"So you're my boyfriend now?" Dean asks not looking at him.

"So it seems." He says turning on his side. I followed his movement to look him in the eye.

"yes" I say smiling "Just don't keep anything from me."

"I promise I won't. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"It's already forgotten." Okay I'm lying. I haven't forgotten it but I think I might eventually.

"Dean I know you love Bella and I am ok with sharing you and keeping this a secret. I promise that nobody outside of the four of us will never know."

"Are you sure about that Cas?" I asks a little nervous. Jo I trust but Gabriel has a big mouth. He might decide that it's time for me to come out or whatever you would call it.

"Yes, Gabriel knows how important this is?"

"As long as you are sure." I say not really sure.

"I am." He says with so much confidence.

"So are you okay with sharing me?" HE looks away from for a minute. I think I might have hit a nerve.

"Do I have a choice?" he ask looking straight in my eyes. Why did he have to say that? Doesn't he know I feel bad enough? Now I have to add him feeling down to my list of guilt.

"You don't have to do this." Please just let it go. Please don't make me tell you that I need Bella too.

"I want you. I want you anyway I can have you."

"So I guess this our secret then." I say trying to make a joke about it.

"I guess it is." he says smiling. His smile is so pretty.

"Well since I'm your boyfriend now, you think I can top every once in a while."

Cas just laughed and pulled me into a small kiss. "Not a chance" he says once he broke away.

"Why?" I whined. Yes I whined I'm not proud of it but right now I don't care. I just hope he doesn't tell anyone I do that sometime.

"Because you are mine right now." He says lying on his back.

I wanted to protest but I decided to just let it go for now. One day I would get Castiel to agree to it but at the moment I'm happy that I got to be with the two people I cared the most about even though I'm not exactly sure what my true feelings for the boy lying next to me are. I'll eventually figure it out. I mean who knows maybe one day I might grow out of whatever this is. I just hope Jo doesn't slap me once I tell her about this. Who am I kidding of course she will. I just hope it's not too hard. Plus she can't talk, she is total denial herself. Whatever one way or another things are going to be okay.

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**do you honestly think it will be smooth sailing from now on. I just wanted to leave you something to think about.**

**don't forget to tell me what you think**


	18. Chapter 18 Cas

**Chapter 18 Cas**

Things with Dean aren't ideal but right now they have been pretty good. If you minus the fact that he is still in the closet and that he has a girlfriend then things are good. He has actually been spending a lot of time with me. There is school, we have most of our classes together and she isn't in them. Jo is in two but she gives us space. Yeah she has lunch with us but whatever I guess. Then there is after school. He spends about two days a week with me. Then there are Sundays where he spends the whole day with me. I think that might have something to do with Bella having family day or something but I choose not to look at it that way. Then of course you we have the times when I climb threw his window.

Not to brag but I have amazing upper body strength. I climb threw his window five days a week. I usually get there by eleven and stay until five. I then run home and get ready for school. I'm not getting much sleep but I don't care. As long as I get more time with him then I can live off of caffeine, but I would like him to spend the night here again but I don't know when that is going to happen.

Yes I don't get much sleep and I refuse to complain. I lied to Dean and I need to make it up to him. Actually this this weekend I get the chance to actually sleep. Dean is away on some hunting trip with his family so I have the time to do the things I have been neglecting

It's a quite Saturday afternoon. Gabriel woke up early this morning to do something. He said something about winning Cotton over and was out. Balthazar of course isn't here. He stopped by last weekend, which means he won't be home for another couple weeks. I'm not mad about it though. He is in college living his life. I understand why is isn't home. Plus we talk all the time via text.

I'm sitting in an empty quiet house enjoying a book. I rather like this. Even though it's just usually Gabriel and myself but he is never quiet. I sit on the couch Indian style getting lost in this book, when the sound of the door slamming knocked me back into reality. I should have known this would last long. I love my brother and I enjoy his friendship but sometimes I wish he would just shut up.

"Yes Yes YEssssssss" Gabriel sings as he dances around the living waving an envelope around. Watch this be something stupid.

"Gabriel will you stop acting like a child." I say giving him my most stern face.

"Not getting any in a couple days sure has made you cranky." He says as he stops and stands in place. I really don't feel like doing this with him.

"No you are making me cranky. I'm trying to read."

"Awww Cassie just because your little boy toy blew you off this weekend it doesn't give you right to be pissy with me." He says as he sits down next to me. I guess reading this book is done. I say nothing as I put my book on the coffee table. I made sure to roll my eyes at him.

"Dean did not blow me off. He is on a hunting trip with his family." He say aggravated. Dean wouldn't just blow me off. He told me to never lie to him. I'm pretty sure that means he wouldn't lie to me.

"Sure." Gabriel says. He doesn't believe me. I don't care right now. Things have been good between me and Dean.

"What has you in such a good mood?" I ask changing the subject. I hope he goes for it.

"Check it out" Gabriel says as he removes to pieces of paper from the envelope. As I look at them I realize they are concert tickets. Concert tickets for an artist I never would think Gabriel would attend.

"Taylor Swift. Gabriel you never cease to amaze me." I say dryly. Inside I am really shocked. I don't know why I would think he wouldn't be in to her. I mean she kind of fits his personality.

"There for Jo num nuts." Gabriel says snatching them back. That's a lie. Jo would never listen to her.

"I think she might kick your ass for thinking she like Taylor Swift." I have to point that out. I know my brother can be a bit dense when it comes to her but he really is reaching for straws here.

"Actually she secretly loves her. She has all her albums, knows every song by heart." He's lying. Jo would never listen to her.

"Jo, really, wow, I would have never guessed." I'll play along. These are for him, but I'll let him think I believe him.

"Yup and she is going to love me." He says smiling as he looked at them one final time before putting them in his pocket. Maybe he might be telling the truth. Gabriel is always excited but normally at this level when he thinks some stupid plan will work on her. Sometimes I feel bad for him. I actually think she will never go for him. I secretly think while she enjoys his attention but she is waiting for something better to some along. It's sad really because he really cares for her but I don't think it's meant to be. I would like for them to be together but he will always be stuck in the friend zone.

"You really like her don't you." I say this because think it's time I talk some sense into him. I don't want to see him hurt.

"Yes and I think she might finally be starting to entertain the idea of liking me." He says popping a lollipop in his mouth.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Totally sure and I think that this might help move things along."

"Gabriel you ever think that maybe she only see's you as a friend." I hate asking him this.

"No" he says after some thought.

"Are you sure?"

"Cassie I get where you are trying to go with this. I really appreciate it but I wouldn't waste my time if I didn't think it wasn't real. I have always had feelings for her and at first I wasn't ready. I wanted her but I wasn't ready to be with her. But now I realize that was dumb of me. That is why I try every day. I try every day to show her and tell her I only have eyes for her. I have faith. I have faith that someday she will stop denying her feelings and will be with me. I know I might sound crazy but hey maybe I am crazy. I'm crazy for her." Wow I think my brother might be in love. I get it. Nothing is easy. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want and that what he is doing. That is what I am doing. If you know you want someone bad enough there is nothing you won't do.

"I wish you well brother." I say patting him on his back. I really do wish him well. I hope he gets her. I should support him more. He has been nothing but supportive of me. I should return it. He thinks what I have with Dean is a bad idea but he respects it. The least I can do is respect his decisions in going after Jo.

"Thanks….So where's the boy toy." Gabriel asks changing the subject. Great I have a break through and he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Do not call him that and I have told you he is hunting with his aunt and uncle. He will return Sunday night." I say repeating myself. I hate when I have to do that.

"Great, we can hang out tonight, just the two of us. I'm thinking we crash a college party. Balthazar told me about one" I just rolled my eyes. Of course Balthazar would tell him and not me. He knows I would have no interest.

I don't want to go. I want to say no but I know that Gabriel won't allow Me too. I have trouble telling him know. He can be quiet convincing. "Fine but you will behave tonight; I will not partake in anything that will get us arrested again." I say shaking my finger. Yes Gabriel got us arrested. It happened last summer. He convinced me to go skinny dipping and of course we were caught. Luckily the cop that arrested us was corrupted enough to be bribed. I should point out that both my parents come from money. All three of us have trust funds. I won't tell you how much but it's a lot. My dad joined the army because he needed purpose in his life. Nobody knows, not even Jo and Dean. That's how we are able to live on our own. We aren't allowed to tell them though. Plus we only have a small percentage of our trust fun now. We don't get the full amount plus our moms inheritance until we finish college.

"It was that one time and they drop the charges." Gabriel say interrupting my thoughts.

"Promise me Gabriel" I demanded. We got lucky that time but who knows if it happens again.

"You have my word." Gabriel says in an innocent voice while crossing his heart. I want to believe him, but I know better. If Gabriel wants to do something stupid then he will be on his own this time.

"Fine"

"Yes" he says as he gets up. After he runs down what we are doing tonight, Dean enters my mind. I can't actually call him. I don't want to be clingy but I will send him a text.

I have no idea what I am going to say. I just want to reach out to him. Let him know I am think about him, but not giving him the idea I am too attached to him. Finally I figure out what to say. I hope it doesn't sound stupid.

_From Cas_

_Hope you are enjoying your hunting trip. Gabriel is forcing me to go out with him tonight. Hope to see you Monday if I do not end up in jail. Have a good day and night. I miss you._

As I hit send I am starting to rethink telling him I miss him. It is too late now though.

After a few minutes my phone starts to ring. My heart jumps when I see it's from Dean. I should have waited to answer it but I can't help myself. I answer it as soon as it rang.

"Hello" I say smiling. I wait for him to respond but he says nothing. Maybe it's a bad connect. So I hold on thinking he would say something but he says nothing. Instead I hear a female laughing. It's really more of a giggle. I know it's not Jo. She only giggles when she is with my brother. I know this giggle. I hear it a lot. It's Bella. Why is she giggling into the phone? Did he take her on his hunting trip why didn't he tell me? I should hang up but I can't.

"That was amazing" I hear Bella say. What was amazing?

"Right back at you." He says before I hear kissing noises. He is kissing her. I shouldn't get upset. Yes I know he kisses her but I don't like to think about it.

"I'm so glad we did that." Did what? What did they do. I guess it's safe to assume he didn't go away with his family.

"So am I" he says. I can tell he just came. Dean only sounds like that after he has cum. He had sex with her. Dean actually had sex with her. I knew they were going to do it but damn I didn't want to know.

."I'm glad you convinced me to wait for it to be perfect." I bet she is cuddling up right next to him. He probably is holding her right now. What is he doing? We all know he likes to be held not the other way around. I think I am going to be sick. My heart hurts. It feels like it is ripping form my chest.

"Me too." He says before i hear more kissing noise. I think I might actually throw up.

"Can you imagine what my father would say right now?" I can image. He probably say she is some naive little slut. I should stop. She is the only one innocent in this. She thinks she is in love with a straight guy who loves her back. I can't be mad at her, but damn it if I don't feel like punching something.

"Babe I really don't want to think about that right now. You know he hates us being together. I mean he ships you off to England every chance he gets and he would mostly likely shot me if saw us." Yeah but after I beat the shit out of you for lying to me. He actually lied to me. I know he was with her. Why didn't he just tell me he had to spend time with her?

Oh great now it sound like they are kissing again. I should hang up. Why am I still listening? I shouldn't be but I can't put the phone down. I wish Gabriel would burst in right now distracting me.

"What's wrong?" I hear Dean asking as I hear some whimpering sounds. I think she is actually crying. Dramatic bitch.

"I just love you so much. You are such a wonderful boyfriend. I know my dad doesn't like you and he makes it hard for us to be together but you don't let him run you off. You put up with so much to be with me. I just love you for that." If she only knew the truth. I want to scream it out, but I can't because a knot is forming in my throat. I don't know what to do? What would you do if this was you? Yes I knew what I was getting myself into but I didn't think I would actually hear something like this. What am I supposed to do with knowing this? Should I say something or act like nothing happen? I am confused, angry, and hurt. I am mostly angry that he lied to me.

"Make love to me again." She says like she is beaming like the sun.

"Easy baby we got all night." I hear him say so confident. He isn't like that when he is with me. He acts like a shy child when he isn't busy being my little bitch. I bet he would like me to tell her that. Can you imagine the look of her face when I tell her how he begs for my cock. How I make him moan out when I am inside of him. I should stop. I am getting jealous and angry and that is no way to solve this. I need to calm down and think about what my next step is.

"Come on. This is a weekend to remember? This is the weekend we lost our virginities to each other. Who knows how many nights we will get like this?" I get them all the time. It might be the first time Dean has had sex with girl but it is not his first time having sex. At least I can tell myself I was his first.

"Yes baby" he says after a moment of silence. I hope I at least enter his mind when he said this. I hope I crossed his mind at some point.

As I sit there listening to them make noises I can't help but wondering if I deserve this. I did agree to be with him while he is with her. Do I really have a right to be mad? Do I have a right to hook up with somebody tonight? It might sound petty but I don't know. I did agree to only be with him, but I am still mad he lied to me. Why couldn't he just tell me?

"Okay everything is all set." Gabriel says as he runs back into the living room. Where was he when I needed him?

"Are there going to be a bunch of drunk chicks." He looks at me for a minute. He studies me to see if I am serious.

"What do we care? We found the people we want to be with." He's right. I do want to be with Dean, but not if he is going to lie to me. Not if he is going to have sex with her. Do I really have room to talk? I don't know what I am madder about? The fact that he has had sex with her or the fact he lied to me. If he was with his family he would be able to have sex with her. Why hasn't he realize his phone is near him.

Just as I think I couldn't get more upset Dean goes and makes it worse.

"I love you" I hear her say in between the sound of moans and body touching.

"I love you too" he says without thought. He can tell her he loves her but he can't tell me how he feels without me forcing it out of him. I can't believe this. Dean might actually love her. If he loves her what am I to him? What does this mean?

Forget him and forget what I said about only being with him. If there is a drunk girl there tonight, guess who she is going to regret in the morning.

"I'm still young. If she is willing then I am able." I say to Gabriel as I hang up the phone.

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**Don't forget to review.**

**I have to work the next four days so i might not update until at least Tuesday. Maybe I'm not sure yet. **

**But here are some things to think about.**

**What do you think about Dean lying?**

**Will Cas really hook up with someone else ?**

**What do you think will happen between Dean and Cas.**

**Will Jo finally give in?**

**btw next chap will be told from Jo's pov. read it or u might be lost. **

**Okay you have been warned I'm done **

**Review and you will know? That is if you want me to update faster**


	19. Chapter 19 Jo

**This really is the last chapter for a five days at least **

**Thank you mini for the review i just got your review but i updated this chapter to let you i am reading what you have say. **

**I will have fun at work, i always do but i will be thinking about how can i make this better **

**okay off to work i got so i can be perky for annoy people who like to drink**

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**Chapter 19 Jo**

Tap Tap Tap" went the sound of someone's finger on a window. Of course it's not mine, it's Dean as I get up to look. Great like I didn't have enough problems this weekend. Now I have to go the next hour drowning out the inhuman sounds they will be soon be making. I hate Dean right now. Not only does he get out the weekend of going on some bull shot hunting trip to spend time with Cas, he now has to know him in the biblical sense once we get home. Isn't he tired already. If I wasn't so loyal I'd tell his stupid twit of a girlfriend. I mean come on how much can a person take.

It took my cousin a minute to register the sound. I guess sit is worn out from their marathon sex. Why is Cas even here. Didn't he get enough of Dean this weekend? Can't I just have one night? Is that too much to ask for? I just said good night to Dean so I know has just lain down and was starting to fall asleep when Cas showed up. I love Cas bur he has the worse timing. I can sleep through anything and I fall to sleep fast so if he'd just wait twenty minutes then I wouldn't be so annoyed at him.

"Why is your window locked" Cas asks. By now I have gotten out of bed. Dean never locks his window. Usually I know is over when I hear moaning. It's still kind of gross when I hear them, but that is when I usually know Cas is over. Not to mention lately I hear the bed knocking against the wall. Can you imagine? I don't get good sleep most of time but I don't complain. Dean is trying figure some stuff out.

"Sorry I forgot. What are you doing here?" He says blocking the entrance. Yes I am peaking. If I angle myself right then I can see them. Why is he acting like he doesn't want Cas here? They just spent the whole weekend together, wouldn't Dean be high on the feeling of Cas. That's at least how I would feel. I'm lost. I need to talk to Dean tomorrow. I didn't say much him when I got home. I was too annoyed.

"I missed you Dean." He says reaching to kiss Dean while trying to keep his balance. Dean turned his face causing Castiel's lips to land on his cheek. I'm confused as to why Dean seemed bothered by his presence. Wouldn't Dean be happy since he came to visit? I'm missing something. He just totally blew off Cas. He has a lot of nerve. I don't know how Cas feels but he is acting like a totally dick.

"Look Cas not to be rude but I had a long weekend, you think we could pick this up tomorrow at school." He didn't spend the weekend with Cas. What the fuck. If he wasn't with him then that must mean he was with Bella. Why was he was her? He really gave up a weekend with Cas to be with her. Oh my god Dean is back tracking. Note to self. Smack Dean when we leave the house. It can't be this hard can it? I see Cas tried to mask his hurt. My heart is hurting for him. Cas forced a smile while he spoke. "Sure thing Dean. I just wanted to see you for a few minutes, but I figured you would be tired, so I will say good night." He says while he fought his voice from cracking. Poor Cas. I'm really going to kick Dean's ass. What the hell could be so important that he blew off the person he is supposed to me be with. OH it better be good. Not only did my sleep get interrupting but he hurt Cas. That's not cool.

"Good night" Dean says closing the window before Cas could say or do anything. Cas sat on the branch for a few minutes. I bet he is trying to figure what just happen. Yes when Dean got tired he became an unpleasant person, but that is no reason to be a dick to him. Tomorrow when we get home I am going to dig in his ass.

I feel asleep not long after that. I woke up feeling like I didn't get enough sleep. I went through half of the day annoyed. Of course that all changed when Gabriel popped up my locker during lunch time. Whenever I see him my day just gets better.

"So Cotton, how was your weekend?" Here we go with the Cotton nickname. I'll admit I kind of like it. I don't know why. Just the fact that he calls me that makes me feels better. I rolled my eyes and huffed before I spoke. "Horrible. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with my parents. I had no cell reception and I peed with a rabbit watching me. How does that sound?" I say slamming my locker. I could have been nicer about it but then he wouldn't say something so cute.

"I'm sorry your cousin had to watch you pee."

"what?" I wanted to point out that Dean wasn't there but after last night I'm not sure I should say something. I hate this and I hate Dean for this. Because he is my family I have to lie to those I don't want to lie too. Man I want to kick his ass right now. I mean really kick his ass. I want to make him cry. I hate lying to Gabriel, but Dean is my family. What am I going to do?

"I didn't pee in front of Dean"

"I'm talking about your cousin Cotton Tale." It's corny but I can't help but laugh. I love how corny he can be.

As we walk to the lunch room Gabriel jumped in front of me and said. "Even though you are annoyed I can't help but think it's adorable. I'm glad your upset because it makes giving you these all the more better. " he says as he hands we something that looks like tickets.

"What are you laughing at" I say as I snatched them out of his hand. We stood in the hallway looking at each other. I was giving him the stink eye while he just stood there looking at me. I hate it when he looks at me like that. It's like he is getting lost in my eyes.

"You're beautiful Jo" he says causing me to blush. "Gabriel-" I say before he cut me off. Something about this is different I don't know how but I now I know I want to be with him. How did this happen I don't know.

"Look at what I got" he says looking down at my hand. I snatched what ever this is out hois hand but I never looked.

"What's this?" I ask looking at them. "Oh my god oh my god" I started to scream. "Gabriel you didn't" I say jumping up and down. I didn't think he would actually do this. I mentioned this to him months ago I wanted to go to this concert but I didn't think he would actually get us tickets.

"Yes I did "he says looking into my eyes. I smiled as i jumped in the air to wrap her legs around him. He is so sweet. He hates Taylor Swift. He really hates her but he gets me tickets to her concert. He might know this but he just proved himself to me. I need to be with him. He has only proved he is worthy. No more denying it, He is the one for me.

Gabriel barely had time to register what had happen. I jumped on him showing him I am done playing games.

"So do you wanna go with me?" he asks holding me up. Of course he tried to play it off. I looked at him then slammed my lips into his. Gabriel swung our bodies around slamming me against the locker as he mauled my face. "So is that a yes?" he says breaking for air. Not only is that a yes to the concert but that's a yes to everything. I didn't say that I just laughed and kissed him again hoping he can read my mind.

We eventually moved their make out session to a nearby closet, We didn't go all the way but we hot further than we ever have, I bet everybody wonder what happen to us at lunch.

We missed lunch but I don't care. I'm happy and I might be glowing and I want to tell somebody. After my second to last class I saw Dean in the hall way and I wanted to tell him the good news. I

Okay it was just Bella and Dean but Cas walked up I am curious to see them alone. Dean and Bella stood there in what I like to believe is awkward silence. Cas walked up I can see he wanted to day something but was trying not to say much to Dean. From what I have seen throughout the day Cas has been trying to say something to Dean but he was making excuses. I guess it has something to do with why Dean blew him off last night. I am still going to talk to Dean about that, of course after I tell him about me having a break through. The tension between Dean and Bella just multiplied when Cas joined Bella of course is oblivious to it. How can she no see this? She really doesn't see it. I guess that is what denial looks like. She greeted Cas with a warm greeting. I probably like her if Dean wasn't with her.

"Hello Bella" he replied dryly. I love how he doesn't show any emotion, but according to Gabriel it kills him inside.

"How was your weekend?" she asks glowing. That it. Her glowing tells me all I need to know. Dean lied so he could he spend time with her. Why would he do that?

"I had to run from the police this weekend thanks to my brother." He says as I laugh to myself. Gabriel already told me what happen, but he never mentioned Cas being with him. Something about breaking and entering but that is important right now.

"OH dear" she says like she doesn't know how to respond. That right there tell me she doesn't know us.

"How was yours?" He asks sounding like he doesn't really care but he is trying be polite. Both my boys can claim they Cas better the ever but I know him pretty well too.

Okay now Dean is starting to look like he has to vomit. That gives me more reason to believe he is hiding something. I can't help but hold my head. When will he learn?

"It was amazing." She says holding onto Dean's arm. Damn I was hoping she expose something. Dean is relieved but he is sweating. I guess he knows he has to answer to Cas, He might know this yet but he has to answer to me too.

Maybe I'll give him time ti talk to Cas first. What would he lie to him and not Bella. Just as Bella was about to divulge the details of the weekend Dean opened his mouth. The bell rang. Damn I wanted to hear more. Dean is lucky. If I had heard his conversation with Cas I would have more to yell at him about. Oh well I hear about this talk later. I'll know one way or another.

MY last class went past pretty fast. Dean didn't meet up with Cas after school. Instead he met up with me, We said nothing as we walked home. I don't know what he thought about but I was just happy about my break through with Gabriel. I feel like I am on cloud nine.

"I need to talk to you" I say as we walk through the door. Dean started to say something but my mom's loud voice interrupted.

"Joanna Beth you get your fast ass in here right now!" OH no she sounds mad. What did I do. Did she just call me fast?

"Yes mom" I say as Dean and I both walk into the living room. I'm trying to remember what I did to piss her off but nothing is coming to mind.

"I can't believe you" she says as she strikes me hard across the face.

"Mom" I say as I look at my dad who looks so disappointed.

"You care to explain why the neighbor called said he has been seeing a boy sneak into your room." Oh no, A boy sneaking into my room. That wasn't me that was Cas. He was sneaking into Dean's room not mine. What am I going to say? I turn and look at Dean He is looking fearful as to what am I going to day. Oh no. What am I going to say? I am torn between saving my ass and ratting out my cousin.

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**I just wanted to leave this story on and cliff hanger**

**Here is something's to think about.**

**Will Dean come clean to Cas?**

**What is Cas thinking?**

**Will Jo rat Dean out?**

**What will it mean for there friendship.**

**Is Dean the root of all there problems?**

**Tell me in reviews and i will update quicker. If not i might leave it here. **


	20. Chapter 20 Dean

**Hello everyone**

**Thank you mini again for your review. I would like to hear from others too. I'm just saying**

**Here is the next chapter. I got off work and could sleep so i decided to work on this chapter**

** Hope you like.**

**Please review it will make me update faster**

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**Chapter 20 Dean**

I have the worse luck. I honestly don't know how in twenty four hours everything went wrong. I spend a weekend with my girlfriend. Everything was fine, it was our first time together and it was nice. I was actually excited I was able to cum. I honestly thought that Cas might have ruined me, but he didn't. I actually pleased my girlfriend and I was able to cum. I call that a win. I'll admit Cas did pop into my mind a few times over the weekend but I figured that's because we have been doing it for months.

Speaking of Cas, I kind of lied to him. Well I totally lied to him. I didn't mean too. When he asked me what I was doing this weekend the lies just poured out. At first I didn't know why I lied but when I thought about it, I thought I realize I was protecting him. Don't ask me why it's just something I feel I have to do. Plus he would never find out at least I thought he'd never find out. After Bella went home last night I started to call him. I was looking threw my call log and noticed I had call him. I looked over the details of the call and saw that it lasted twenty minutes. To make matters worse the time of the call was placed when Bella was here.

It took me a while to figure out how I called him and then I realize that my phone was in my bed. Don't ask how it got there all I know is when I got out of bed my phone was there. Stupid touch screen, I knew I should of put a lock on it, but that's not the problem. The problem is I lied to Cas and he knows. I had no idea how I was going to explain it to him. I shouldn't have lied to him. I should have just told him the truth. I need to find a way to explain it to him.

I spent the rest of my day trying to figure out how to explain me lying to him. While I was lying in bed trying to figure out what to say with him he appeared at my window. I went to the window and soon as I got there I saw this look in his eyes. His eyes told me he was pissed and that I owed him an explanation. I started to say something when i realize he didn't want to bring it up. He wanted to have sex. That son of a bitch. He wants to play games. He wants to play mind games. He doesn't want to say anything he's waiting to use this against me. I wasn't having that. I told him to leave in the most causal way possible. I was ready to play.

Of course school was awkward. He barely spoke to me. Lucky Jo and Gabriel didn't show up at lunch. They were probably somewhere off arguing. Well Jo was probably yelling at Gabriel. He probably looked at her while she yelled and most likely told her they would end up together. Which probably pissed her off? Then she probably yelled him some more. I don't know. We didn't talk on the way home.

This brings me to right now. Jo and I didn't talk. I was too busy trying to figure out what kind of game Cas wanted to play. I did notice she was in good mood. I made a note to ask her about it later, but that's over now. Soon as we walked in the house my aunt was screaming at Jo.

"JOANNA BETH" Aunt Ellen yelled when she and I walked through the front door.

She was enraged. I quickly ran through my head why she'd be pissed at my cousin but nothing came to mind. My cousin hasn't gotten on her bad side in a while. I know we both shook in our boots when we heard Aunt Ellen's voice. We stood frozen in fear until we heard her yell again. "Get in here now!" she demanded. Jo was confused as to why she was yelling for her. Again she did nothing wrong. She made sure to keep her grades up and not to get into any trouble at school. I know she didn't call for me but we both slowly walked into the living room. I see Jo was making sure to keep aware in case Aunt Ellen decided to hit her. It wouldn't be the first time. I walked slowly behind her. Yeah I wasn't required to come but he wanted to be there to back Jo up just in case. Aunt Ellen stood in the middle of the room with her eyebrows knitted and her arms crossed. Uncle Bobby sat on the couch with a drink in his hands. He looked like he was so disappointed. It looked like his heart had broken.

"Hey mom" she said faking a smile. I see she is trying to play it cool.

"Do you want to explain why Mr. Turner called us today saying he saw a boy climb down the tree next to your bedroom?" She asks looking directly in Jo's eyes. Mr. Turner is my uncle's friend. His name is Rufus and he lives directly next door. Wait did he just say what I think he said. He saw a boy climbing the tree near our window. Oh no. I feel like I almost pissed myself.

Rufus saw Cas and now they think it was Gabriel. What is going to happen? Jo looks at me the looks back at my aunt.. Her back is now turned on me and she takes a step back for fear her mother was about to strike her. I know we are both shock to hear someone saw Cas. I wonder if she got a good look at my face. I know my face says I feel even guiltier than ever. I swear I am going to have a heart attack. I wonder what she going to say. She said she would keep my secret. I hope she keeps it. She can say anything. I just hope she doesn't tell the truth.

"He saw who?" Jo finally asks. Okay she is going to play dumb. Rufus does drink a lot. Maybe she can convince them that he was seeing things. Please anything but the truth. I can't tell the truth. See this why I was mad Cas would let them know. Too many people knowing I show shit gets out. This is his entire fault. He is the reason why everything is now ruined. God Cas is so selfish.

" Don't play dumb. You know damn well what I am talking about. Last night Rufus saw that boy come out of your room." Aunt Ellen yelled moving in on her. I bet Jo wants to run, my aunt eye's says she is ready to kill someone and unfortunately that someone is Jo. Please Jo make something up. I know you aren't good at lying but please pull off a miracle.

"Mom I ….I….it's not what you think." Jo's argues. She is going to tell. Great now my family is going to turn on me.

"Oh that's bull and you know it." Uncle Bobby says standing up to move next to my aunt. "He saw Gabriel." I guess he never describe what the boy look like. Cas has dark hair and Gabriel has like light brown blondish hair.

"Daddy Mommy please you don't get it. It's not what you think. Trust me" She pleaded. I think she might be about to throw me under the bus.

"Then why don't you tell us." Aunt Ellen yelled balling her fist. I think she is two seconds away from hitting her. This is where I should explain but I can't. I am standing in the corner frozen and afraid to tell them.

Jo stood there silent. I wonder if she is thinking of a way to explain without exposing me. Her silence is too long. I bet she is going back and forth with exposing me. I hope she does.

After a few seconds I realize she is defeated. Jo just lowered her head in defeat knowing. I guess she will have my back. I guess we both know the only way out of this is too hang me out to dry and she is better than that. I am so happy she is better than that.

I want to say something but I can't find the words. I stand here frozen in fear of judgment. I don't want Jo to take the blame but I do not want to expose myself either. I'm afraid they might disown me. How bad can it be actually? She'll get grounded for a couple weeks. Exposing me would cause everything to change. They thinking it's her is better. Them know is me would make everything worse.

"That's what I thought." Uncle Bobby says taking her silence as a confession.

"Do you have any idea how this made us look. Our own daughter is such a whore." Aunt Ellen yells. I know it cut Jo deep. It cut me deep. Jo is a virgin. If they only knew her like I did.

"Nothing happen. Why can't you just trust me?" she cries. Her voice has so much hurt in it. This is wrong but I still can't say anything. If I even try to say something they might cut my head off. At this point even a cough would get me sent up the river. They probably wouldn't let me get the truth out.

"Trust! Ha, don't make laugh Joanna. We trusted you and you snuck some boy in your room on multiple times." Uncle Bobby says.

"Multiple" she says. Wait as in more than twice. On no, this is a lot worse than I thought.

"Yes as in many. At first he didn't want to say anything, but he notice that he has been here almost every day of the week. How could you? We asked you about that boy plenty of time and you kept saying he is more than a friend. We asked and you lied" Aunt Ellen yelled as she smacked Jo across the face.

I want to cry. I want to cry even more as Jo gives me a look. I feel so bad but I don't know what to do. Which would be worse me telling the turht or her taking the blame. I am lost. It might be too late now.

"You are lucky your father did not catch him. He would have shot him on site." Aunt Ellen says as she now walks around in circles. Jo gives me a pleading look. I give her a look telling her I can't but telling her I'm sorry. I just can't.

She keeps looking over at me. I am still standing in the same spot I feel like I am about to wet my pants. She keeps pleading with me with her eyes to say something anything but I just can't. I hate to see her cry but this is for the best. They won't be so hard on her. I'm so sorry Jo. I'll be fixed one day.

"You are ground young lady." Aunt Ellen barks. See she is only getting grounded. It won't be so bad.

"Grounded?" she says like she is on the verge of tears. This so Cas's fault. If he could learn to stay home at night then Jo wouldn't be going through this.

"You heard me and you are forbidden from seeing that boy outside of school." Forbidden to do what.

"Mommmm Gabriel is not-"

"Do not interrupt" she says cutting her off. "You can no longer talk to him, text him, instant messge him, and or hang out with him. It's time you make some girlfriends. You are to only leave this house to go to school or to go somewhere with your father and/or me until we say otherwise. ." She commanded.

"That's not fair." She screams

"Well you should have thought about that before you snuck a boy in your room and the next time you raise your voice at me, you will be picking your teeth off the floor. Am I clear" Jo just nods her head. "Good now hand over your cell phone. You are no longer allowed to have one. You need to make a call then you can use the house phone. On top of that you can hand over your computer. You need to do something for school you can use mine." Aunt Ellen says holding out her hand waiting for Jo's phone. I know she wants to cry. Hell I want to cry. Jo is being punished for something she didn't do and the one person who can save her is me. I want to but I can't. This is still much better than they would do to me. She is going to kill me.

"I'm waiting" My aunt says when Jo takes too long. What am I doing? I can save her. I just can't.

"Daddy" she pleads looking at my uncle who can't even look at her. He just has this look of disgust on his face.

"You heard your mother." He says not looking at her.

Jo looks her parents before she reached in her back pocket and grabbed her phone. She placed it in her mom's hand before she stomped up to her room.

I can't believe that happen. Jo just took the blame for something I did. She wanted me to say something but I couldn't. Maybe I should say something to her now. I give her a few minutes before I make my way to her room. When I get to her door I can hear her crying. Man she is really crying. I really feel bad now. What did I do? I should fix this but it is too late. What is done is done.

"Jo" I says as I poked my head in the door. All I see is her head buried in a pillow. Her pick hair is covering her whole face. I wouldn't know she was crying if it wasn't for the sobbing sounds.

"Go away." She says with her head in her pillow. I should give her more time but I need to talk to her. I need to know if she will change her mind about covering for me.

"I'm sorry" I say stepping in. I am sorry. I'm sorry something is wrong with me. Sorry Cas did this. Sorry that she had to be put in the middle because Cas couldn't keep his mouth shut. This is all his fault.

Soon as I said I was sorry Jo lifted her head up and shot me a look.

"Dean I do not want to hear anything from you until I decide to speak to you again. I swear you so much utter a good morning to me I will get one of Daddy's gun's and shot you in your double dipping dick." She says with nothing but pure rage in her eyes. For a second I thought they turned black. I think I should obey her request. She is really piss. I mean beyond, but how long will she stay mad at me. It might me a while but I swear I will make it up to her.

He'd wait for her to speak to him. It wasn't that serious, how long she could be mad at him for a secret she chooses to keep. She could have said something at any time but she didn't/ I'm sure she will be over this in a couple days.

While is taking the time to get over me. I am making a vow. I vow to be only friends with Cas. I will not share him with my girlfriend anymore. I am broken and I need to fox myself. I see now the only way to do that is to cut off the very thing wrong with me. Yes he will be part of my life but not way we were. It's time for things to change. If I keep this up with Cas things will only get worse.

Once I left Jo's room I decided to end whatever game I am playing with Cas. I clicked on my call log to call Cas. I hesitated at touching his name but I did. The phone just rang. He did not answer. I tried calling him three more times but he did not answer the phone. I wished he would answer. This conversation would be a lot better to have with him over the phone than face to face. I did think about going over there but I figured if he was not answering the phone he most likely wouldn't answer the door. Plus I don't want to talk to him face to face. We might end up having sex and I don't want that. I'll wait for him to call him back. After all how long could he go without talking to him? We are best friends first right. He agreed to share me so he can't mad at me for being with my girlfriend. I was with her first. He can't get mad. He just can't something is wrong with me and he is just helping to fix me.

Whatever I feel for Cas will pass, Although I don't what I feel. I messed up with Jo and I need to make things right. No matter what I feel the thing that is wrong is Cas. If it wasn't for him then this wouldn't have happen. To make things right I have to cut off certain things. I feel really bad about what I did to Jo and I will try my hardest to make things right. My aunt and uncles can't stay mad for too long. They talk a good game but Jo is their pride and joy. She can't remain in hell too long. She is an innocent soul. How long ca a innocent soul stay in hell when there are people like me trying to make things right.

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**So how pissed are your at Dean?**

**How bad do feel for Jo?**

**What do you think will happen between our two fav couples.**

**will Dean really let Cas go.**

**Will Jo stay mad at Dean and if so how long.**

**These and other questions will be answered when i return.**

**I am off Tuesday and Thursday. So i might update Thursday or Wednesday depending on reviews. **


	21. Chapter 21 Gabriel

**Hey guys. Happy Tuesday. Supernatural is all new tonight. I don't know about you but me and my sister can't wait to watch it. **

**Here is the next chapter. Hope you like. Remember what I said about Jo and Gabriel.**

**shout out to Mini and Sonya for your reviews. Both of you are right. Dean is a coward and yes that is what siblings do for each other, but what when is it to much. **

**Well I'm done. Don't forget to review.**

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**Chapter 21 Gabriel**

Four months ago I thought I finally convinced Jo to go with me. One day we are we are making out in the janitors closet and the next day she is telling me can't see me no more. She actually told me she couldn't see no more. I asked her why and she told she told me it's because she didn't want to anymore. I don't know what happen but she is full of crap. She kissed me like her life depended on it. Nobody kisses someone like that and doesn't mean it. She can say it won't work out and she was caught up in the moment but I know what really happen. My cotton was scared. She is scared of what that will mean to our future.

She has to be. It's the only thing that makes sense. Why else would one day she is all over me and next day she is saying it isn't the right time. I have to be brave for the both of us. Same old same old. I just wish I knew where to start. She hasn't spoken to me in months. Come to think about it she hasn't spoken to any of us. Jo distanced herself from me, Cassie, and Deano. I really don't understand why she is talking to Dean. I asked him about it but he just gave me some vague answer. Something about family drama. He's lying. He might be able to get away with lying to Cassie but not me. I have a bull shit detector. Dean is lying but I am not going to press it. The truth will come out.

A lot of shit needs to come out. Not only are things weird with Jo but things between Dean and Cassie are weird again. Now I know Dean lied to Cassie about being on a hunting trip. Big surprise there right. Sometimes I think I only put up with him is because of my brother. At first Cassie was going to confront him but he decided against it. So he never spoke to Dean about his lie and went on like nothing ever happen, but something did happen. Cassie hasn't told me but I know something has. They continued to hang out but they don't have sex anymore.I think they might have broken up. Cassie bedroom has been a revolving door but judging from the sounds it's only chicks. I find it disturbing I know what Dean sounds like when he is having sex. He really needs a muzzle.

I know the broke up but I am not sure who ended it. They still hang like nothing has happen but I did notice Dean trying to kiss him, but Cassie would just brush it off. I saw it frustrated Dean to no end. Now that I think about it Dean might have ended things with him. Cassie would have told me if he ended things. Plus my brother is somewhat of a lost puppy when it comes to him. He's only fucking other chicks because he can't do that with his boy toy. See what pisses me off and confuses me is Dean's actions. I can tell he is bothered by not being with Cas but whenever I see him and Bella together you would think they were in love with each other and nothing is wrong.

Okay so to catch make sure you are caught on everything I should tell you it's basketball season. Cassie and Dean tired out together. They both made it but things didn't go as they had planned. Dean became a bench warmer, while Cassie plays every game. I am so proud of him. I am at every one of his games cheering him on. Dean though wanted to quit but my brother of course convinced him to give it more time. I know that's was his way to spend more time with Dean. These two make my head hurt sometimes. I never know which way is up with them.

So now that you are all caught up about the past let's get straight to the present. It's Saturday night and instead of randomly trying to call Jo. Oh she changed her number. I tried to ask Dean for it but he says he doesn't have it in his phone. See why I think is lying, but let's forget that for now. The school gym is packed. Tonight's game is make it or break it for our school. If we win tonight we advance to the championship. We're going to win. With my brother playing how could we lose? It's impossible.

I'm sitting right behind the team when I hear the coach yell "Where the hell is Novak"

The game was supposed to start ten minutes ago and he hasn't yet to show up. I looked at Dean but he looked confused as to why Cassie was late. Guess they didn't talk today. I wonder where he is. I seen him earlier and he didn't mention that he would be late. This is unlike him to ever be late to a game especially one so damn important. Whoever he is inside of better be worth it.

"Winchester get on the phone and try and reach him" the coach ordered. Okay while Dean tries to call him I'll just sit here being pretty cheering on Jo. Did I mention that my Cotton went and joined the cheerleading team. It's so unlike her but damn it I love it. Now only do I cheer on my brother but I get to cheer with her. I just wish I didn't have to sit with Bella all of the time. Poor girl comes to every game to watch her boyfriend sit down. Oh well I'll just do my thing.

"Woah come on Jo!" I yelled holding up a glittery sign with her name on it. Yes I made a sign with her name on it. Cassie called it creepy but I think it's romantic. I'm her cheerleader. "Yeah Cotton spell those words." I say as I watch her do a routine with the rest of the team. They are pretty good but she is the best. She should be captain.

"Gabriel, why are you cheering on Jo? She is a cheerleader after all her job is to get you to cheer for the team?" Bella asks me interrupting my spirit. I turn to look at her and see she has a questioning look on her face. Boy is she ass backwards. She should give that look to her boyfriend when gets jealous of Cas in front of her.

"You think I come to these games to cheer on this school, my baby brother, or your boyfriend. Child please, I come here for her." I say as she throws her leg up. It's like she threw it up and it hit my heart.

"No offence but she has been ignoring you for the past four months." She questions me. The fuck is wrong with this picture.

"She just playing hard to get." Gabriel I say grinning as I blow her a kiss. In true character she just rolls her eyes at me. I love our little cat and mouse game.

"She doesn't even eat lunch with us anymore. She eats with her cheerleader buddies and she never hangs with you anymore" Bella says like she feels sorry for me. She can't feel sorry for me not while I feel sorry for her.

"I know but she will come around." If I say it enough then it will come true.

"Gabriel are we friends?" Is that a trick question?

"What do you think?" Please say no.

"Okay well as your friend I have to say this." Oh crap.

"Jo is a lost cause. I am tired of seeing you wasting your time on a girl who has no interest in you. There are plenty of other girls out there. Hell you know you been with some of them. Why don't you get with a girl wants to be with you." Oh really. Why doesn't she realize that her boyfriend is in the closet? Why doesn't she get a guy who actually wants to have sex with her? Now I see why Dean is with her. They are both deep in denial.

"Yeah but where's the fun in that." I say waving at Jo when she looked up in the stand. Jo rolled her eyes again. I really felt the love there. She wants me. I know it.

"Be careful." She says placing her hand on my shoulder.

I looked Bella in the eyes and considered her words. I'll admit some days I think the exact same thing but then remembered our little make out session the day before she told me that nothing was ever going to happen between us. I almost believed her even when I was force to take Cassie to the Taylor Swift concert, but then I heard Taylor sing this one song. It was something about the best thing ever being mine. Soon as I heard it I knew that she was the best thing. If Taylor swift the queen of break up songs can write a song like that then there is hope for us.

"Thanks but she wants me." I say giving her my best fake smile.

We finally turned our attention back to the court when I notice my brother walking in limping. OH no what in the hell did he do. We are going to lose for sure now.

"What happen?" I hear Dean say as he walks up to him.

"I twisted my ankle Dean." He says putting his arm around him to lean on him. How did he do that? My brother has the most awesome grace ever. There is no way he twisted his ankle.

"How?" Dean asks concern.

"That's not important. What is I cannot play. OH shit we're screwed. Guess that's the end of basketball season.

"Son of a bitch! Novak don't tell me you can't play." The coach yells at my brother. I think I actually saw spit fly out his mouth.

"I'm sorry coach." Cassie says looking at Dean. Yeah I think I know what is going on here. This better be worth it.

"What am I supposed to do now? You're my best point guard." He says as he looks around at the other players. I think Coach Henriksen is about to have an heart attack. Our school has never gotten this far.

"Dean could do it." Castiel says. Big shocker there. Of course Dean could do it. Dean can do anything in his eyes. I am two seconds away from putting in my two sense, but I won't. I don't want Henrikson snapping on me for ease dropping.

"What?" Dean says shock. I guess Dean had no idea on what my little brother was doing. Coach looks at Cassie and then at Dean. He knows he has nothing to lose now that his best player is "injured."

"Fine Winchester your in." he says like he is going to regret his decision. I'm right there with him.

Four quarters later Lawrence High is walking out the building as winners. Dean had scored the winning shot sending us to the playing offs. The whole team minus Cassie ran out onto the court and lifted him up on their shoulders and carried him to the locker room. I bet that is some kind of fantasy of his.

I waited for Coach Hendrikson to give the team the good job speech before I had my own little speech with Cassie. What he did was stupid? He is good and him playing can attract attention from colleges. He is always going on about how he wants to get into college on his merits and not using out family money. Well if he keeps this up then he will have to use it. He can't do this especially since he wants to go to Cornell. That's all he talks about is going to the same school out mom attended, but he doesn't want to use her name. I respect that about him and want him to succeed.

After about twenty minutes of wait I notice Dean helping him walk out to the parking lot. I also noticed that Cas isn't limping on the same ankle. Jesus Christ he can't really be this dense.

"Umm Cas?" Dean says once they are a few feet in front of me.

"Yea Dean?" He says looking him in the eye. I hate when they do this. Whenever they make eye contact it's never normal. It's more of I wanna do you in a box, next to a fox type thing.

"When you came in tonight you were limping on your left foot. Now you are limping on your right." He says looking down. Hell must have frozen over. How the hell did Dean catch that?

"Was I?" he says trying to play it off as he took a step away from Dean. "I suppose I was. Wow how about that. I'm healed. It's a miracle." He says smiling at Dean.

I couldn't help but laugh and neither could Dean. Cassie was never good at tricking people but he somehow pulled it off tonight. You know what, I'll give him a pass tonight. We do stupid stuff in the name of love. Dean just better know why he has done this He better feel grateful.

"I know why you did this." Dean says looking into his eyes. Good he isn't that stupid.

Now I wish I wasn't standing there. They are just standing here looking into each other's eyes. It's like they don't see me or the whole world for that matter. It's kind of sweet and gross at the same time. "I do not know what you are talking about Dean." Cassie says with flush cheeks.

"So it's like that?" he says like he doesn't know what to do with his hands. He must be itching to touch him.

"Dean I honestly do not know what you mean?" Cassie says with a smirk.

"Oh my god kiss already." I say breaking their staring contest. I'm tired of just standing here being ignored.

"Bite me" Dean barked as Jo walked up and stood next to me. She looked at me as my heart raced. It looked like she was going to say something but she just looked at these two num nuts.

"Hi Jo. You did great tonight." I say hoping she would at least speak to me.

"Hi Gabe." She says not looking at me. Okay this does hurt. She can at least acknowledge me a little. I mean damn does my breathe stink or something.

"Why can't you two just get a room?"

"Screw you." Dean barked again. And we are back to the limited vocabulary.

"Dean we have to go. Mom and dad are here." She says ever so cold. It's like it dropped ten degrees

"Can you just give me a minute." He says looking at Cas.

"Come on Dean we have to go." She says with such discuss. For someone who is supposed to have such spunk she sure is in a funk. Hey that rhymed

"In a minute and where is Bella?" he asks finally noticing his girlfriend was nowhere to be found. No comment on that one.

"Oh her dad called mid game. She had to go home. She said she loves you, she sorry, and to give you a kiss, but I told her I'd ask Cassie." Gabriel I said with a wink.

"You're a dick" Dean says.

"Oh my god Dean we have to go." Jo yelled.

"Fine" he says rolling his eyes before looking back at Cassie.

"You know it such a nice night. I think I might crack my window tonight so I can enjoy a nice breeze." He says winking at his my brother. Gross I just got an image of them in my head. It's bad enough I hear them. I don't need to see them to.

Jo stood there looking like she wanted to murder someone in cold blood. What is up with her? Why is she so angry? She really looks like she is carrying around a lot of hate in her heart. That isn't like her. Something is up and I need to find out. Only so can just be happy again.

"You want to leave your window open." Cassie says looking at him.

"Yeah you know for a nice breeze and what not. I always sleep better when I get a good stiff breeze blowing through my window." There are people around. I thought Dean wanted this shit to be a secret.

"I thought you didn't sleep with your window open anymore." Cassie says as Dean starts to walk away.

"I changed my mind. It isn't the same." He says walking backwards.

"I see. Well maybe you will get your stiff breeze tonight." Cassie says smiling at him.

"I better." Dean says before he turns and walks away.

Thank god that is over. I couldn't anymore. Looks like these two are going to be going at it again. I hope Cotton still has her ear plugs.

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**So what do you think?**

**Is Gabriel being sweet or creepy.**

**What do you think about Cas faking like he was hurt.**

**can you believe Dean wants him to come over again.**

**Do you feel bad for Gabriel?**

**HOw many of you are wondering what is going on in Cas's head.**

**What about Bella. Yes she is very limited and that is my point but what do you think about her conversation with Gabriel.**

**Let me know what you think and i'll be back soon with another chapter. After all I am off today.**


	22. Chapter 22 Cas

**Hello, Everyone**

**What did you think of the last chapter and tonight's episode of supernatural. I liked it. IF you want to discuss it let me know. Also let me know what you think of this chapter.**

**I have to work tomorrow but i am off Thursday but i work the whole weekend and maybe Monday. So i might update Thursday or sometime next week.**

**So review in the process.**

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**Chapter 22 Cas **

You ever just want to scream. Scream at the top of your lungs. Well I want to scream. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I am very frustrated and nothing I do can fix it. Not matter what I do, the frustration won't end. Delia, Emma, Sophie, Terri, India, Elena, and Leah, these are things I have been doing to avoid my frustration. Okay I should explain.

Almost five months ago Dean lied to me. I was furious. Not because he spent the weekend with his girlfriend but because he lied. I knew he had a girlfriend. I agreed to share him. He made me promise not to lie to him. I guess that promise didn't go both ways. I tried to ask him about it twice. The first time he blew me off. It really pissed me off. I was ready to break his window. I really wanted to break it climb threw and best him until he confessed. He's lucky I can't get into trouble. If I do my father will make me move with him. I don't really want that. The second time I tried to ask him, his fucking girlfriend interrupted. Since she was about to tell what had happen between them, he wanted to talk.

That pissed me off more. I was so infuriated. I was so mad I couldn't talk to him, but he wanted to talk. He called me at least four times. I ignored all of his calls for two days. I finally decided to talk to him after that. He asked me if I wan ted to shoot hoops. I said yes against my better judgment. Everything was fine until we got back to my place. I was mad but I was honry too. I wanted to take my anger out on him using sex. I was going to give it to him good. So good that he wouldn't be able to walk straight. Once we were in my room I went to kiss him and he stopped me. I never had the chance to ask him because he went into some long out speech. I can't tell you what he said because all I heard was we can't be nothing but friends. We couldn't do nothing extra. It crushed me but I didn't want him to know it. So I have been going on like nothing is wrong when everything is wrong.

At first it was hard but things got easier. After a couple months things kind of felt normal. I say this because Jo started acting weird causing Gabriel to go into extra stalker mood, but that's another story. Things with Dean weren't easy but just when I started to feel like things could be easy he started trying to kiss me.

He again started making me mad. He wanted to just be friends but yet he tried to start all the extra stuff he wanted to cut out. He doing this pissed me off. I should tell you I after Dean said what he said I stayed to myself. I did think about him and sometimes I thought of Meg. I thought of her because of how easy things were with her. She always told me what she thought. I never had to go into deep thought with her. I miss that. I missed that so much and I didn't want to about Dean that I started sleeping with random girls. I know I am only sixteen but it was a lot easier than I thought.

Apparently girls like the quiet type who stays to their self. Once I figured this out I was able to hook up with four other girls plus the girls I named, Meg and Phoebe. I hooked up with Phoebe the most. Meg was too busy with other things. I should mention her and Jo has become best buds since she decided to make other friends. Okay I get Jo wanting to make female friends but why would she stop talking to the rest of us. Again that's another subject. So I have been hooking up with Phoebe and think that she might be a good replacement for Dean. I might not feel for her what I feel for him but it might be delightful.

At least that was what I thought until a couple weeks before the championship game. Dean mentions to me how he was upset he hasn't played all season. He was really upset. I hate seeing him upset. I needed to make him feel better. So I faked a injury. I faked injury hoping he would get to play. It worked he got to play and we won. We all the way to the championship and we won that two.

After I faked my injury he dropped a not so subtle hint that he wanted me to come over. I played along with it but I was too secretly mad at him to go through with it. Just knowing he wanted it again gave me some satisfaction. It gave me some I tried to feel the rest with a bunch of females who enjoyed me more than I enjoyed them.

I wanted come over but I didn't. I know Dean wanted me to come over too. I know this because Dean Became increasing irritated. Weeks have followed since he offered and with every day he became more and more irritable .I bet he is starting to think that I don't find him attracted no more or I was involved with someone else. He tired things he knew turned me on but I ignored him. I know it's petty but I am enjoying pissing him off. To make his suspicion grow even more I started to become evasive. I know Dean wants to confront me but he doesn't because this is his fault.

At least I thought he didn't. He is now at my door unannounced.

"Dean" I say as I open the door. Before I can get another word in Dean crashed his lips into mine. The kiss caught me off guard. It took a minute for me to realize what was going on. Once I processed Dean was kissing me with such need and passion, I wrapped my arms around Dean. I turned him around and threw him down on the couch. I didn't hesitate to climb on top of him and stick tongue my tongue in his mouth. I am pleasantly surprised. First I didn't expect him to show up here. Second when I noticed it was him and he had that look on his face I expected an argument not sex, but this is good right now.

I guess Dean had enough of kissing. "Cas Bedroom now!" he demanded. I'm the one that gives the orders not him.

"Oh no Dean. I want you right here" I say removing his jacket. In about ten seconds all of our clothes were off. I pressed my body on top of Dean sucking his neck not caring if I left a mark.

"Awww Cas. I missed this" he moaned grinding his hips in into mine. Good this feels good. I haven't felt his bare skin in almost five months.

"I bet you did." I said as I stopped sucking on his neck to capture his lips. We moan into each other mouths as I put my hand between his legs. I grabbed Dean's cock and began to stock it up and down. Dean broke the kiss to let out a whimper. "You like that don't you" I say as I move my hand up and down with a twist. "I make you feel good don't I." I know I do. He makes me feel good also. Being with him feels like no time has passed.

"Please….Fuck,….fuck me" he cried

"You're so pretty when you beg." I say as I remove my hand to stick three fingers into Dean's mouth. Dean wasted no time licking my fingers. I pulled them out once they were nice and wet. I wasted no time with entering them into Dean's hole. I moved my three fingers in and out as Dean's body started to turn to Jell-O. Dean likes this. I was secretly hoping it was hurting him a little. I think he might like the pain. Damn him. That only makes me want him more. I had no idea I was able feel such a way. Being with him, wanting him more even after he has hurt me. Damn him.

"Oh god" he cried moving himself on my fingers. Damn my cock hurts. I need to be inside of him. I need to feel him under me. I need to feel him clamp down on me.

"You like that don't you. You wish that was my cock don't you." I say as I started stroking myself.

"Pleaseeeeeeee" he whined. I love it when he whines.

"Say what you want Dean." I say curling my fingers to brush them over Dean's sweet spot. I love the sounds he makes when I hit it. Good I missed this.

"I….. Want…you….. inside of me. Please" He moaned. I gave him a cocky little laugh as I pulled my fingers out; I spit into the palm of my hand and ran it over my cock. I proceeded to lined himself up with Dean's opening. I wrapped Dean's legs around my neck as I slammed into him and hit home. I went as hard as I could. SO I as I hit home I felt a whole rush of emotions release. I felt his whole boy shake as I pulled out and did it again.

"Oooooooooooo" Dean moaned

"You like that Dean." I say kissing his already swallowing lips. "You feel so good." I said breaking for air. "So tight." I said as I felt pick up the pace. In and out I went; I made sure to hit Dean's spot harder each time he went in. I made sure I hurt him a little. He's needs to feel some type of pain. I couldn't take it anymore I was gone and was ready to let it go.

"I'm…..I'm…..I'm" "Yes Dean do it. Be a good boy and cum for me" I groaned feeling myself about to explode. Two thrust more and we both came at the same time. That has never happen before. He usually cums and then me.

That was amazing. How could we even go without? After about five minutes of just lying there in post sex bliss, we used our last bit of strength to clean ourselves up. Once dress again minus shoes we laid together on the couch spooning. I love holding him, but I am still so angry at him.

"That was so hot." Dean says as he uses his arms to make sure I held him tighter. Against my better judgment I can't help but feel so safe.

"Indeed." Castiel I said kissing his hair. We laid there in silence for a few more minutes before Dean spoke again.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said hesitant

"I believe you just did." I say feeling like I was about to fall asleep.

"Why has it been so long since we done anything like this." My eyes popped open at the question. Did he just ask me a question he knows the answer to? Wait let me calm down. Maybe Dean wants to have a serious conversation. Either way I stopped holding Dean and motion for us to sit up. We need to be looking at each other if we are finally going to talk. I looked into Dean's eyes as I titled his head.

"I don't understand Dean." I couldn't help but think he looked so cute right now. I can't stay mad at him. Not now. I still have issues with him but I don't want to talk about them now.

"I mean we haven't done anything in months. You haven't even kissed me." Is he serious. He is the one who ended things. HE is the one who wanted to stop. I was happy until he lied to me. I was okay with everything. Okay that's a lie. Of course I didn't want Bella in the picture but I was okay with things for now.

"Dean I assumed since things went further with Bella you did not need my services." I am giving him the time to tell me the truth.

"Services? What? Why would you think that? I thought you were my umm… you know" he says. He means boyfriend. Why can't he just say boyfriend?

"I thought our deal was to help you get ready for sex with her. I would be your boyfriend until such things happen with her." Again I hoping he comes clean.

"How could you think I wouldn't want you anymore?" he says taking my hands. He still hasn't said anything about him lying or why he broke up with me.

"You blew me off when I came to see you that night." Maybe he will tell me now.

"I know and it was stupid of me, but I was tired and I just wanted to be left alone. I had a long weekend. I missed you the whole time. ….Look I got scared and I know I ended things but I tried to get back with you, but you seem like you didn't want too. What am I trying to say is I'm sorry for ending things and blowing you off." He apologizes while still lying. Why can't he just tell me the truth? I would have forgiven him. Does he not know I know the truth? I really don't know what to do. I want to be with him, but now I can't trust him. Why can't we be on the same page? Why dis I have to fall for the one person who is secretive and a liar.

"Dean I accept your apology." I do but I don't. I'll be with him because is that what relationships is about, working things out no matter what.

"Cas please don't ever think I don't want you. I know we are friends first but I can't go back to when we didn't do stuff like this. I love your touch among other things." he says blushing.

"I don't want to either Dean, but please don't do that again. Please know you can tell me things when it comes to Bella." I hate saying her name. It always made me feel guilty whenever her name was spoken in situations like the ones they were in.

I am giving Dean another chance to tell me he lied. I don't know he hasn't come clean yet. He has to know his phone called me that day. How can he not know? How can he not tell me?

"Deal" Dean says before giving me a small peck on the lips. "Now are we good?" He still hasn't come clean. Dean, why would you lie to me? Why would you pretend like we both don't know the truth? Do you really think I don't know?

"I believe so" I would like to believe him but I don't think I can.

"Good let's do away with the chick flick moment and watch a movie or something" Dean says turning the TV on. I hope I can get past this.

After Dean ended our conversation we ended up watching a movie. He picked the movie. I didn't care what we watched. I was too busy hold him and caught up in my thoughts when.

"Oh Great you two are at again?" Gabriel says as he walked through the door to find us sharing a kiss. We just finish watching some action movie when Dean decided to make out with me.

"Hello Gabriel" Castiel I say dryly as I looked back at the TV. I know he is going to have a thousand questions for me later.

"Dude do you have some kind of moment device that tells you when to come in and ruin the mood." Dean barked. I must admit Dean is right. Gabriel has the worst timing. He always shows up when we are in the middle of something.

"No I just have great timing. Remember safe sex or no sex kiddos." Gabriel says as he sat on the chair next to the couch.

"Bite me."

"Ohhh kinky but maybe another day. Today I have to ask you something?" Gabriel says changing his mood to serious. Wow, it must be serious. He usually goes back and forth with Dean for a while.

"What is it?" Dean says as he looks through Netflix's to find another movie.

"Why has Jo been ignoring me?" I have been wondering the same thing. Dean didn't react for a full minute.

"I don't know" he finally says. "If you haven't notice she doesn't say much to me." He says like it's nothing.

Gabriel was disappointed. I see he thought he finally get a real answer. I tried to ask Dean the same question a couple months ago but he gave me a vague answer. I wanted to press but honestly I don't care much. I care for Gabriel but Jo and I aren't really friends so I figured Gabriel would get to bottom of it.

"Fine" Gabriel says before he got up to leave the two of us alone. I feel bad for my brother. Jo has always turned him down but it has never been this bad. I think he might actually be heart broken.

Dean does know this but I was watching him the entire time out the corner of my eye. Of course I knew Dean was lying. Dean is good at that. I know Dean knows why she had suddenly changed her mind about my brother and stop talking to the rest of us. Part of me wanted to make him spit it out, but what good what that do. Dean lies to me. I'd only end up with more lies. I think I'll let everything go for now. I can get Dean to stop hiding things from me. I just hope he knows until he stops lying I will have sex with whoever I want.

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**If it' snot one thing or another with our boys.**

**What do you think?**

**Why didn't Dean just come clean to CAs about any and everything?**

**How do you feel knowing what is going on in Cas head?**

**Please review. It might help me update a lot faster.**

**IF you review i might update Thursday instead of sometime next week. **

**bottom line if u review i will update quicker if not i might take my time. **

**next chap will be told from Cas Pov **


	23. Chapter 23 Cas

**Hey everyone.**

**Thank you mini for the review. Love you lots.**

**Here is the next chapter. It's kind of short but hope you like it. Let me know what you think.**

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**Chapter 23 Cas **

Ever since Dean and I renewed our relationship we have spent a lot of time together. Whether it was just playing video games, playing basketball and/or baseball, or getting caught up in the throes of passionate love making, we both felt at peace when with each other. I know because Dean has told me. I think I might love him but I will keep that to myself for a while. I am not ready to tell him. I cannot tell him I love him until I know I can trust him. He still hasn't told me the truth. I don't think he ever will. I haven't exactly forgiven Dean for keeping things from me but I am learning. At least I was starting to trust him again. He was honest with me today when I called him once I got home. He actually told me he had plans with Bella.

Dean told me the truth today but of course with one step forward he always manages to go three steps back. His phone pocket dialed me again. When is going to learn to lock his phone.

"Don't you think it's time for you and Jo to make up. I'm starting to think her little tis with you is making her hate me." Bella says clear as day. His phone must be somewhere close.

"Why do you think she hates you?" I hear Dean ask as if he doesn't want to talk about it.

"She just walked in here and rolled her eyes at me. Seriously honey what's going?" I am wondering the same thing. I was about to hang up but I want to know what is going on with her to.

"It's not you. Trust me."

"Well what did you do?"

"Why do you think it's something I did?" he says like he is guilty of something. I know that is his guilty voice because I know him. She of course doesn't have a clue. Why doesn't she know him? You spend how much time around someone, shouldn't you pick up on things like this.

"Oh come on. She has been rolling her eyes and giving you attitude for months now. She was my friend too and I do know she is the type of person that will admit when she is wrong. She isn't petty Dean unless she was wronged." That is true. So she knows Jo better than she knows her own boyfriend.

"You know I am sick of you guys telling me that." Dean says as it sounds like he is putting down his pencil.

"Who else say's that."

"Well you just said it, Gabriel too, and of course Cas." He says with a smile in his voice. "Trust me though the reason she is pissed is because of Cas." Jo's pissed at me.

"She is?" Bella says almost as shocked as me.

"What did he do?" Yes what did I do? Why didn't she just come and talk to me instead of acting like this for months. I know we weren't that close but she still could have talked to me. She should have just told me instead of taking things out on my brother and Dean, Poor Gabriel is heartbroken, he can pretend all he wants but I know it's tearing him up.

"I can't tell you but he really made her mad." IS that why Dean didn't tell me when I asked. I can't believe she is acting so petty.

"Figures he would have something to do with this." she says rather rude. I'm lost now. Does Bella too have a problem with me.

"What was that?" I hear Dean ask. After a few moments I hear her talk again.

"I never had a problem with him at first, but I am starting not to like his way of life. All he does is hook up with Random girls and the n dump them. Then all he does is want to spend time with you. It's like he forgets you have a girlfriend. I hate how much time you two have been spending together. I didn't want so say anything because I didn't want to come off as a controlling clingy girlfriend who didn't want her boyfriend spending time with his friends. But Castiel is a selfish asshole."

"Wow?" Wow, that's all he can say. He's going to let her say those things about me and not defend me.

"Forget it." She says

"No" Dean says concerned.

"Do you realize summer is coming? My father is of course is sending me to my aunt's in England again and I am afraid Castiel is going to tempt you." She said looking down at her hands.

"Tempted me how?" he asks nervously.

"He is going to try and get you to hook up with one of his skanks"

"How could you think that?" He asks as I hear a chair move. Dean must be moving close to him.

"You have been spending all your time with Castiel. It's like he is more important to you then me and because of this I have begun to question our relationship."

"How could you say that? I know I been spending a lot of time with him and it's only because we on the baseball team and we need to practice if we want to keep starting." He says as my heart begins to pound.

"You rather spend your time with him." She says like she is crying. Great, Dean hates when she cries, he'd sell both of his kidneys if it meant she never would cry again. He rather give his kidney to watch a single tear fall from her face. Then again that's how he feels when all female's cry.

"That's a lie. I love you. You are the most important thing to me. He is my best friend but you come first and always will. I rather spend all my time with you but I made a commitment to the team and I need to stay good and he just helps me out. He could never compare to how I feel about you. Please Bella don't ever compare you to him. It's no contest."

"You really mean that?" she says like she is trying to smile.

"Every word. It will always be you." I am in shock. My entire body is numb. I don't know if Dean really meant it or he was just saying that. What am I supposed to do? It's not like I can just ask him. Dean likes to lie to me.

"I love you Dean. I'm sorry I would think such things. I never want to lose .you." I hear her say

"Right back at you" he says before I hear some kissing noises.

I couldn't believe what I just heard come out of Dean's mouth. When I heard Dean say that I didn't compare to Bella, my heart shattered and now I can't feel anything. I need to feel something. I need to feel anything.

I am so numb from Dean's words I did realize I was back at school until I heard my brother say my name.

"Cassie."

"Gabriel" I say noticing I was standing by the girl's gym. Watching them wrap up their practice

"What are you doing here?" He asks confused.

"I could ask you the same thing. You aren't looking for Jo." I ask hoping he finally given up on the petty bitch.

"No" he says with a sigh. "I am actually taking someone's advice and going after a girl who is interested." I'm shocked. I never thought he give up.

"Who?"

"Heather" he says with a smile. Of course he's go out with a girl who was the captain of the cheerleading squad. He wants to make her jealous. I am not committing on this right now.

"So what are you doing here." I really don't know. I left my house and ended up here, but I think I might know why?.

"Can we talk later. The girl's practice is over."

"Sure I gotta meet Heather anyway. Yearbook should be over." He says before he leaves me standing there.

I wait another ten minutes for her to walk out. I do kind of like this girl and I think I might be able to feel something more for her if I try hard enough.

"Castiel" she says with her gorgeous smile.

"Hello, Phoebe" I say as I notice she looks like a young Alyssa Milano.

"What are you doing here?" she ask happy to see me.  
"I was thinking?" I say a little shy.

"Say no more. Your place or mine" she says with a devilish smile.

"Actually I was thinking we get something to eat first. You know talk."

"Sure" she says happily.

Dean wants to put me second so I will make him second. I know I have said it before but this time I mean it. Things are going to change. No more of letting him toy with my emotions.

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**Can you believe Dean?**

**When will he lock his damn phone?**

**Why would he lie like that to Bella and blame CAs?**

**Do you feel bad for Cas?**

**Let me know and I shall return in a few days.**

**I have to work Friday sat sunday and Monday. so I might be back Tuesday. **


	24. Chapter 24 Dean

**Chapter 24 Dean **

Say what you want about Bella but I am with her for a reason. The other day me and her had a talk that opened my eyes to a lot of things. I feel horrible lying to her but she doesn't need to know the truth. The truth would only hurt her and I can't stand to see her hurt. Besides me lying to her she pointed out a few things I didn't like. First one was Jo. She isn't petty and she has been wronged. She is under my aunt and uncle watch night and day. She is founded no more but they still keep a close eye on her. I was a coward and she was brave enough to take the fall. I need to make things right with her.

I have been wrong for so many different reasons. First with her, second with throwing Cas under the bus in more ways than one. I blamed him for Jo's hell. It's my fault. If I wasn't so afraid of who I might be then he wouldn't have to sneak through my window. He wouldn't have to hide at all. I feel really bad that I didn't defend him when Bella said those bad things about him. Yeah Cas might get around but as Gabriel pointed out I am the reason. If I just be with him then he would get a reputation. I have to stop lying to him. I have to tell him how I feel for real. No more surface feelings. I might have told Bella that is the most important thing to me, but that is a lie. The truth is I don't know anymore. They are both equally important to me and I know someday I might have to choose but I have no idea of who I want to choose. I like who I am when I am with both of them. I just feel being with her would make life easier.

I can't think about that right now. Right now I have two things that need to be handled. First is I have to fix things with Jo. I'll do that after school. Right now it's lunch time and I should focus on being a good friend.

"So basically I think I might ask Naomi or Heather to the prom?" Gabriel says while he, Cas, Bella, and me ate lunch together. It's wired not having my cousin here to roll her eyes. She'd usually say something smart right now.

"Isn't Naomi the chick you almost got our asses kicked for if Jo hadn't stepped in?" Cas says. I think we were all thinking that.

"Yes her. Since her and that dick head broke up, I can finally ask her out without fear of a beat down, but I also want to ask Heather. I'm not sure who to ask. I need you guys help. " He says before taking a bite of his strawberry cupcake. I don't know how he can eat that shit.

"So you're finally moving on from Jo." Bella asks thrilled. I don't buy it. I seriously doubt he could ever move on from her. Something about the way they look at each other tells me it's forever.

"She has made it perfectly clear she wants nothing to do with me?" he says disappointed. That's my fault. I feel really bad about keeping them apart. Then again they were nowhere near getting together.

"Did you ask her Jo to prom first?" Cas asked. Bella rolls her eyes at his comment. She must not know Gabriel doesn't know the meaning of giving up.

"Yes and of course that purpled hair beauty said no" he says trying to hide his hurt. Oh yeah if you didn't know Jo dyed her hair again. She changed it after Gabriel would leave her alone. She thought it might change his mind, but jokes on her. He said she looks like he favorite flavor of Kool Aid.

"I'm really sorry." Bella says reaching across the table to hold his hand. She is so considerate. How can you not love her?

"Thanks" he says pulling his hand back.

"Dean you are kind of quiet in this conversation?" Bella says looking at me. I hoped that I could of just stayed quiet though out the conversation. I did not want to have to lie again about why Jo was keeping her distance. "What is there to say?" I said taking a bite of my cherry pie. The group nodded their head and agreement and decided to drop the subject to my relief. Gabriel can decide on his own or with help of the ever helpful Cas. He can be really good at solving problems.

The subject of school was dropped for the rest of school. I was glad. I need time to think to myself about fixing things with her. I also need to figure out what I did to Cas. He is acting weird again. He only acts like that when I've done something wrong. I most likely did but I'll fix that later. Right now I have a bigger problem.

Soon as I got home I went straight up to her room. I stopped at the door trying to get my nervous together. While I was trying to get myself together I heard Jo crying in her bedroom. I hate it when chicks cry. It's like some kind of weakness. I don't know what to do. I stood outside her door for a while debating whether I should go in or not. She was still pretty pissed and I am fairly sure she still would shoot me if he said something to her. Add her being pissed and her being upset about whatever I am a dead man walking for sure. This is a situation where I list the pros and cons in my head. Oh fuck it, if she kills me at least I die trying to make things right.

"Jo." I say in my most gentle voice as I poked my head through the door. When I walked in all I saw was her back. She was lying on her queen size bed covered in zebra printed sheets. I hate those sheets. She made me go with her to buy them. It took her a hour just to pick out the sheets she saw first. She was lying with her back facing me. Even though she was facing me, I could see her holding a teddy bear Gabriel had won for her at a carnival they had went to together. I have to laugh to myself. Through all her denial she still holds on to things from him. I can't help but relate.

"Jo" I say again as I stepped in so my whole body was in the door. I shut the door behind me. There is no turning back now.

"Go away" she says between sobs. I can't now. Even if my body would let me, I can't because she is crying. Everything in me is telling me I have to make her feel better.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong" I say as I inched my way over towards her. Approaching her is like approaching an animal in the wild. She might attack if I get too close.

"Like you care." She says in the most heart breaking way.

"I do care." I say standing next to her bed. I know she can feel me behind her. She slowly sat up and looked me in the eyes. I hope she can she my concern.

"You really wanna know what's wrong" she says wiping tears away from her face. She swung her body around to where she was sitting on the side of the bed with her feet on the floor. I think we are making progress.

"Yes." I say. As she said nothing, she just drew back her fist and punched me hard in the crotch. I cried and peed myself as I leaned over and fell to floor holding myself.

"Okay maybe I deserve that." I say while trying to breathe. Damn that hurt.

"You think" as she says looking me in the eye. "You deserve more than that. Everything wrong in my life is your fault." She says with anger in her voice.

"Jo I'm sorry for the way you have been treated the last few months." I said as I am finally able to sit up. I stay on the floor in fear she might hit me in the balls again.

"You cannot even imagine the hell I been in." she says with venom. Okay she made her point but out of fear I won't say that.

"Well if it's anything like getting punched in the balls, I can relate." I say trying to lighten her mood.

"No Dean it's worse. I have spent the entire school year with Mom and Dad treating me like a little girl. I have to be driven everywhere and picked up. If I want to go to a friend's house, one of them has to talk to their parents. I had to join the cheerleading team just to get a little freedom and you know I hate perky. Hell I hate all those bitches except Meg. If it wasn't for her I think I might have killed myself." She says standing up. Okay now she is being dramatic. Oh god she is close. Please don't try and kick me in the balls.

As Jo hovered over me I hoped was she wasn't debating if she should hit me again. I really feel eight inches tall sitting here as she studies my body language. I hope she knows I am really sorry.

"Well who told you to join the cheerleading squad? You could have done field hockey or soccer." I say breaking the creepy silence. It's too quiet right now. It's quieter then when I with Cas. At least with him I know he is just being quiet because that I shim. I wonder what he is doing right now. No I can't think about him right now. I need to focus. Jo first then him later. I do kind of miss him right now. Okay I am going to stop thinking about him right now.

"It was the only thing that had an opening beside yearbook." She says as if I should have known. How the hell should I know that? She hasn't said shit to me all year. Hell she barely talked when we had our family meals together.

"But you wanted to be on yearbook." I argued hoping I was right.

"That's beside the point Dean. My point is not only did you do something that got my freedom taken away, you actually manage to screw up things with Gabriel and me." She said as she tears up again. I screwed up things between them. How did I do that? Last ti checked she was still telling them no. She swore she didn't like him, unless she finally decided to give in. OH no I am an idiot.

I can't believe I didn't see this. It finally makes sense why she has been so angry all these months, why she has cried at least once a week. She and Gabriel finally stopped playing around and I ruined it. Why didn't she just say something? I come to her all the time about Cas and Bella. She could have told me. My stuff isn't that important, where she couldn't have told me what was going on with her. I would have welcomed it. I am such a fuck up.

"You really like him." He say feeling the familiar guilt coming over me.

"Yes I do." She says wiping her tears away. How could I do this to her? I ruined something great.

"Do you know how hard it has been turning him away? I mean he would not give up." She says still towering over him. Okay now she is angry again. I can't keep track.

"Why didn't you just sneak and see him I would have covered for you." I really would have. Hell I would have even went out with her to a movie or something. HE could have met her there and I could have done my own thing while they spent time together. Does she not know I would have her back? Yeah I didn't before but I would have for this.

"How when mom and daddy are on me twenty-four seven, I still don't have a phone and I am only allowed to use the computer downstairs. I don't know if you notice this but they took my laptop." She says pointing at her desk across the room. "I had no choice but to stay away from him. If I even tried it would have made things worse for me and it would have exposed you." Even in her darkest hour she still is there for me. If that's not love then what is.

"Jo I am so sorry. I have been a selfish dick. I should have spoken up. I should have told them that it was Cas." I say looking at my feet. I should have but I am still afraid of what they might think. They might disown me. No matter what I still think that it is better they think it's her and not me.

"Yes you should have, but I also know that you are going through a confusing time and the less people know the easier it is for you to figure it out." She says sitting down next to me. I think she might be starting to forgive me. Her forgiving me only makes me feel worse.

"You are an amazing friend and cousin. You could have blown the whistle so many times but you didn't. I don't know how to make it up to you." He says putting my arm around her.

"You just did. All I wanted was an apology." She says laying her head on my shoulder

"Still I am going to help you get your freedom back." I mean that. I am going to set her free. Great anther thing to do, maybe keeping secrets isn't the best thing. Yeah it's not but it's all I have right now. I can't tell the truth right now. Maybe when I am on my own I can but right now I need my family. I need them to think I am as normal as possible. I bet Jo thinks something is wrong with me. Deep down she is probably hoping I get over this thing that is wrong with me. I swear for her sake I will figure something out.

"No need, since I kept my grades up, made new friends, and haven't seen Gabriel. Mom and Daddy said I have earned back their trust and once the school year ends I can have my freedom and cell phone back." She says smiling. Oh thank god. I had no idea how I was going to pull that off.

"Jo that's great….So why are you cry?" Jo removed her head from my shoulder. She sat there bringing her knees to her chest. It looks like she is getting emotional again. She took several deep breathes before she started talking again. "Well I am still not allowed to see Gabriel and to make things worse he finally moved on."

"How do you know?" How does she know? It was only this afternoon he was debating which girl to ask out. How could it have gotten back to her this fast?

"He asked that bitch Heather to prom." Oh I see now. Heather and Jo do kind of hate each other. They kind of look and act a like. She probably rubbed it in her face.

"Maybe it's because you turned him down." I say trying to make her feel better.

"I turn him down all the time and all the time he never gives up. How could he just give up now when there still might be hope? It doesn't matter anymore, even if he didn't ask her I still couldn't go with him." She said snorting

"Maybe I could talk to Uncle Bobby." I suggested. What I would say to him I have no clue.

"No. The only way you could change his mind if you tell him the truth and I don't think he needs to know just yet." I can't believe how selfless she is being. If Jo was a normal teenage girl, she would have ratted on me by now. I really owe her big time. If she can be this selfless then I'm sure I can defiantly make some changes.

"He really likes you. He asks me all the time why you just up and stop talking to him. Why didn't you tell him?" I know why she didn't tell the folks but him I don't understand.

Jo looked over at me as if she was studying my face before she opened her mouth. "What was the point? I couldn't see him. I figured why cause an agreement between friends. You and him have enough tension when it comes to Cas. Why make things worse. I hate keeping things for him but its better this way. You understand right." I really do. I keep things from Bella so she can go on being happy. I keep things from Cas so I don't hurt him either, but I think it's time I be open with him, but that is later. He needs to just leave my thoughts right now.

"Please we are hardly friends." I say as Jo rolls her eyes at me. "Oh yes you are. You two might bust on each other but at the end of the day I say you are pretty good friends and you don't have many of those." Maybe she's right. Gabriel and I have hung out without Cas and have had a pretty good time. Plus we are able to talk when it's just the two of us.

"Screw you" I say giving her a playful push.

Me and Jo laid on the floor for a while catching up on what was going on in each other's lives. Jo told me how she hated the girls on the squad but Meg and how she loved the uniform. I told her about my conflicting feelings and how I was starting to feel like I wouldn't be complete without Bella and Cas.

By the end of our conversation I now know one thing. I do have feelings for Cas. Real feelings and I need to make them known. I also have to come clean about a few things before it's too late.

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**Okay last chapter before i got back to work for the next four days. What did you think of Jo and Dean making up?**

**Do you think Dean will really be honest with Cas about everything?**

**Do you think Gabriel has really moved on?**

**What do you think will happen when Dean finds out about phoebe. btw did you get my Alyssa Milano reference. I saw misha on charmed the other day when i was watching it on Netflixs**

**In the chapter before the last did you get what girls cas named spelled out when you put the first letter on their names together.**

**Okay I'm done. review and i might return earlier sometimes i can't sleep when i get off work. **

**SO again reveiw**


	25. Chapter 25 Dean

**Hey here is the next chapter for a few days. I could sleep. So i need reviews or i won't update**

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**Chapter 25 Dean**

It's the end of the school year and all seemed almost right in my world. Me and Jo have finally made up and we are closer than ever. I still needed to find a way so she and Gabriel could see each other again, but that's harder than it sounds. My aunt and uncle still might let her go out without them but they still are serious about Gabriel staying away.

Bella and I are getting along and she isn't complaining about me spending so much time with Cas or just Cas for that matter. She still doesn't like him much but she is okay with us being "friends" I have spent the last week with her during the day and then Cas would sneak in into my room at night.

I've made the honor roll and even received a perfect attendance award. Yes everything sis almost good, I just couldn't figure out what Cas's deal is. He acts like everything is okay but then he does things that makes me think something is bothering him. Its little stuff I've picked up on like facial expresses, little comments, and don't get me started on the sex. Cas has always been rough but lately he has been going overboard. It has gotten to the point where we had to start doing it on the floor because the bed would start moving too much. I yeah I like his style but damn if he isn't hurting me. He even has me walking a little funny. Last night I thought I was bleeding when he got done. It' so bad people have even asked me why I am walking funny. I had no idea what to tell them so I just said sport injury. That seems to work. Something is worng and I am going to get to the bottom of it.

Since it's the first day of summer vacation I had to say good-bye to my girlfriend for the summer. I hate it when she leaves, but I can't help but be happy because. Her leaving I finally get some time off splitting my time between her and Cas. Yeah I have to talk to her though out the summer but things are a lot easier when she is gone. I will still her though.

Once I kissed Bella goodbye and watched as her plan took of I jumped into my new car. It's a 1967 Chevy Impala I nicknamed her baby. Mu uncle gave it to me. HE said it was my dad's and that he was saving it for me. Being inside of her makes me feel right with the world. I wonder if that's how Cas feels when he is inside on me. Speaking of Cas, once Bella was gone I drove straight over to his parentless house. I'm lucky that way. I feel bad for Cas though. He dad is able to be here but he chooses not to. I guess financially his dad thinks he is making the right choice. I know he has issues with his

When I got to his place I almost forgot how to park a car. I am too excited. Things with us haven't been right but I am going to make them right. I can't wait to have a summer without fighting. Everything is going to be so easy for the next couple months. I pretty much ran to his door. I get that I am excited for a bull shit free summer but something else is here. I don't know what it is but it feels pretty damn awesome. I love this feeling but it scares me at the same time. Better get a hold on that. I don't want to scare him.

"Hello Dean. Long time no see." What the hell? It's Cas's dad. What is he doing here. He hasn't visited since we started high school. OH no. Is he back? I would be happy for Cas and Gabriel but that really would make things harder for us.

"Captain Novak" I say trying to hide my shock. Why is he here? Doesn't he have some important army stuff to attend too? He is a Captain in the U.S. Marine Corps. Last I heard he was stationed in FT. Bragg, North Carolina. He was once station in Kansas but got transferred a few years back. He made the decision to leave his two younger sons in the care of his oldest son Balthazar. Which I think is stupid. He should have known Balthazar wouldn't be around much. If I was him I wouldn't be either. Not with starting college and trying to make a life on my own. According to Cas he left there here so he wouldn't have to up root them from their friends and school. They were told as long as they didn't get into trouble and kept their grades up then they would not have to move to North Carolina. Now that I think about it. He wasn't putting much faith into Gabriel, but I got to hand it to him. Gabriel has mange to stay out of trouble since then.

"When did you get back?" I ask still standing in the doorway. I'm afraid to move. I swear he scares me more than Jo.

"Late last night son." He says eyeing me up and down. I always feel nervous in his presence. I didn't know why but it always felt like Captain Novak could smite me any minute. "I assume you are here to see Castiel" he says moving to the side so I could come in. It took me a minute to move. I was too busy admiring how Cas looks so much like him. If his dad was younger they could be twins.

"Yes, where is he?" I ask wondering why he never calls him by the two nicknames he has. I guess someone has to call him by his actually name.

"He is up on the deck with a female friend." A what, that better be Jo up there. They just better be renewing their friendship. I pray it is. Last I checked and heard Cas hasn't been hooking up with anybody. I hope not. I don't want him too. Please don't let it be Meg or some other chick. Please oh please let it be Jo.

"What?" I say trying to hide my jealousy.

"Yes Phoebe I think her name is. Such a beautiful girl…Hey are you okay." Oh no, I hope he didn't notice my change in mood. I was in such a good mood and now I am ready to fight that bastard if he is up there with some chick he is screwing. He better not be screwing anybody else. I might have sex with my girlfriend but in comparison he is worse. I have hooked up with one other person. He has hooked with at least ten girls by my count. Even Gabriel hasn't hooked up with that many girls this year.

"Oh well I just came to ask him something. I think I'll just go up real quick then get going." I say before I walk through the door. I make sure not to look back as I walk through the house and head out to the deck. If he is with another female it will be quick. I will forget what I came here to do and walk straight out the door to my car. I want to turn around and leave but since his father already seen me I might as well make my presences known. I'm not gone lie if he dad wasn't here I would have turn around and left soon as I learned he with someone.

When I got to the deck I saw them two together. I stood at the bottom watching them. They look like they were more than just friends and actually like each other. She giggled like he had said something funny and he has a smug look on his face. To most people he has the same facial expression but if you knew he like I knew him then you can detect the small changes in his face. He has had sex with her recently and I think he might like him.

If Cas has been spending time with Phoebe I can understand why. She is pretty if you are in to that sort of thing. I have two classes with her and I know she is funny. She seems like she is a kind hearted girl. She is also the kind of girl who tells like it is no matter what and I know he loves that. She is so much different from me and all the other girls I know he has hooked up with. Most of them are trashy but she has just the right amount of class to be wifed. I hate that bitch now. I can actually picture him being with her. I think he might actually like her. He is giving her a certain look. It's the same look he use give Meg. If things got serious with her he would have to break things off with me.

No he is not going to do that, damn it I was here first. He is not going to choose some random girl over me. I am his best friend. I was here first. If I have to I will make him choose between her and our friendship. He promise to only be with me and I know he has broken that at least five times. He had no reason to cheat on me.

When I finally limbed to the roof, I saw them sitting on a lounge chair. Cas was lying back while she sat on his lap. I want to run over and throw her to the ground. I think I will stand here a few minutes to see if he notices me.

"Hey Cas" I say when I realize he won't notice me. I had to say something. If I didn't I doubt he would notice me. Soon as I said something he shot his head around and was shock to see me standing there. He looks nervous, good.

"Dean, what are you doing here?" he says trying to play it cool as he motion for herto get off his lap. It's too late now. I already saw them together.

"I need to talk to you." I said giving her the dirtiest look I could manage. He better see how pissed I am.

"Well here I am." He says standing up. Oh he wants to act like that. Okay I see how it is.

"Alone" I say dryly.

Cas then turn to Phoebe who was standing next to him and asked for a moment alone. She reluctantly agreed before she said she'd being waiting in his room. I know what I said before but she is going to be waiting for a long time now. It's time I test him.

"What is it ? He says crossing his arms. He says this like I am bothering him. Can you believe him?

"What the hell man." I say ready to hit him. I try my best to hold back. If we fight we won't get anywhere.

"What?" he says as if I should know. He should know why I am upset. I know he is screwing other girl behind my back. I mean this is a small town during the winter. How could he not know it would get back to me?

"What? Don't what me. Why is she here?"

"Dean, do I question you about Bella" he says getting angry.

"Don't try that with me. You know about her, I had no idea you're dating little miss goody two shoes who happens to be a slut on the weekends." I said motioning to the stairs.

"Dean I do not see where you are going with this and quite frankly I do not have the time. So please just say what is on your mind." He says this like I am wasting his time. Right I have been wasting his time for the last two years. The fuck, he knows I have been having a rough time. Why is he acting like this is something new. He should know better than anybody.

"Is she your girlfriend?" I have to ask. What I have to say depends on it. I don't care how it looks. I can be seen as jealous, but I need to know I tried.

"Why do you care?" he says as if I have nerve.

"You promised to be my boyfriend. I thought that meant you wouldn't be with anybody else."

"So you can have a girlfriend but I can't" Okay I'm at a lost. How can I argue with that?

I have nothing to say. I stood there realizing I sounded like such jackass. I am defeated. He is right. Why should I be able to be with two people and expect him to only be with me. It's not right.

While I stand there Cas has gone into territorially mood. He started moving in on me. With every step he took I took one back. We did this dance until my back was finally against a wall. I took a deep breath feeling nervous as. Suddenly he pressed his lips against my ear.

"What's the matter? You afraid that if I get with her I will forget about you" he whispered in my ear in his deepest voice. "Don't worry. Just because I spend time with her doesn't mean I still won't come fuck that tight ass of yours" he says before licking my ear. His tongue sent shiver's up and down my spine, which came as a nice relief considering it was ninety degree's out. "I'm still gone make sure I fuck you so hard that you walk funny all summer." God I love the way he talk to me.

I pulled him into a passionate kiss. Just him talking to me like that is enough to make me forget everything. I never want this moment to end. Just knowing where this could go gets me so turned on.

We sucked the air out of each lungs before I finally process what he fully said. Once it hit me, I pushed him off of me. Does he only see me as a quick fuck? I never have seen him like that. I have seen him many ways but never as a just a lay. He means more to me, no matter what.

"Wait." I say pushing him off as hard as I could. "So now I'm someone you just fuck." I ask trying to ignore the sharp pain in my stomach. I should feel like I want to cry and I can't help but feel like that.

"Well Dean isn't that what we do says moving his head to the side. He does that when he confused. There is no way he can be confused. He can't be that dense.

"I thought we were friends and maybe a little something more." I really thought we were. I don't what we are but I know we have something that equals more than friends.

"I don't know Dean are we?" he asks so bitter. Okay I see what I am thinking might be a better then idea than I thought. I'm starting think there are more than things we needed to think about. Okay I really need to do with I am thinking. If I don't things then things will get worse.

"We are more than that." I say wrapping my arms around him. Thais isn't a time to fight. This a time to let him know that I think more than that. He needs to know, He needs know I think more of him. I messed up I don't know how but I'm pretty sure I did. "That's why I came over here." I said looking into his blue eyes. I could swim in them. Damn hi and his sexiness. "I got a job. I start work at my uncle garage tomorrow and in two weeks I get my very first check."

"Congrats." He say like he doesn't care. Just wait he will.

"So I was thinking that since I get paid and I have a car now that maybe you would like to…. I don't know…. go on like a date or something." I say nervously. I have been thinking about this asking him for a while. Like I'd said I don't where this is going but I can try to find out.

I look to him for a reaction but he looks surprised. We have been out eaten together but it was only as friends. This time it's official. Maybe things can be better. I just hope he says yes. With the vibe I am getting from him he might say no and end things. He is really mad at me and I don't know why.

."Cas you know I hate it when you stare at me like that." I say as his eyes burn into my soul. He is taking too long to answer. I am starting to feel uncomfortable. Can he just give me an answer?

"I'm sorry Dean. I was just thinking." What was he thinking about? I hope he wasn't thinking about ending it. I know I ended things the last time but I was wrong. I need him right now. Things might be forever but things are right now. We need right now. It's the only way he and I can get pass right now. I know he is only doing this for me. Why else would he only hook up with other females? If he wanted to be with other guys wouldn't have hooked up with them. Cas not hooking up with other guys tells me something is wrong with me.

"Hey if you don't want to do it." I say trailing off. Can he just give me answer.?

"No Dean I would love to. I was just was thinking about what we could do." He says tighten the grip he has around me.

"So you want to have a date" I have to ask. I just want o make sure he stills wants me.

"Of course Dean." He says looking me in the eyes. I always feel uneasy when he does that.

"So you are still with me then. " I ask feeling like a chick.

"Of course." He say as if I should know. I love how his mood just flipped. One minute he seems pissed. Then another minute acts like I am the only thing in the world.

"what about her" I say sounding like a chick.

He looks at me then he kisses me with such passion. After a few minutes of him sucking the air out my lungs he breaks free.

"I'm going to walk her home. When I get back I want you naked I waiting in my bed, You have fifteen minutes."

He said yes and he is going to send that bitch home. Thank god i don't think i could have asked him to send her home. I'm ready to forget about her and focus on are upcoming date. We have so much to talk about.

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**So i need to know what you think. SO much has happen. Jo and Dean made up, Cas is pissed at Dean, And Dean wants to talk with Cas.**

**What do you think will happen on there date.**

**Do you think Dean will be some clean.**

**Do you think their date will be a disaster. **

**Do you think there is hope now for destiel. **

**SO REVEIW AND I WILL UPDATE**

**if you want to know how the date went and if you want to know about Jo and Gabriel **

**Next chap will be from Cas pov**


	26. Chapter 26 Cas

**Hello every on here is the next chapter since they cut me from work. i actually worked an hour and 58 mins before they cut me because i was in over time. I am so pissed about that. **

**Whatever. thanks mini for the review. You always make me happy, but i would like to know what other people think too.**

**Sam will return but right now he is still young he show up. I promise and have a part **

**With out further ado here is their first date**

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**Chapter 26 Cas**

Dean asked me out. Dean asked me out on a date. A date where we aren't pretending we aren't more than friends. No matter how many times I rationalize it, it doesn't seem real. One minute he is being very secluded and lying to me and the next minute he wants to go out. I have no clue what this means. He has disappointed me in the past and I still believe he will.

Dean asked me out two weeks ago. We have been together sense but he said he wanted to wait until he got his first paycheck. I tried to tell him over and over that I would happily treat but he insisted that he be the one to pay. That is all we have discussed about our date. Whenever I tried to ask for more details he would change the subject. I started thinking that our date would never happen, but then yesterday he told me to be ready by six.

Well it's five forty five and me and Dean our going on our official first date and I swear I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing goes wrong. While I want us to have a good time I think I am going to take this opportunity to get some answers about the last two years.

Dean should be here in fifteen minutes and I am already dress. I am silently freaking out in my room. I want to talk to Gabriel to calm my nervous but my dad is here. I wish he leave already but I am not going to get into that right now. Right now I am too busty wondering Dean is actually going to show up. I keep thinking he will give me some excuse on why he can't make it. I keep looking at my phone to see if he has text me to tell me he has canceled. I hate feeling like this. I like to be in control and when it comes to Dean he always takes the control from me.

I wish he get here already. I have nothing to do. I just spent the last two hours getting dressed. I spent majority of the time trying to tame my hair, but after forty five minutes of trying to get my hair to look like anything but bed head I gave up. It was impossible no matter how much I tried it always look like I just had sex.

I have no idea how I should act. Should I act how I normally act when we are in public? Should hold his hand? Can I kiss him public? Do I give him my jacket if he is cold? I have no idea what I am supposed to do. I am starting to feeling too much pressure. I'm not gone lie things would be easier if I was going out with a girl but I'm not. I have no idea how I am supposed to act with him because he is a him. Dean please hurry up and get here. I am over thinking everything and I can't stop.

"Hey Cassie." Gabriel sings as he pops his head in my room. Why the fuck is always so happy?

"What is it?' I say as I stand in my room feeling awkward.

"Deano is here." He says walking into my room.

"Thank you" I say dryly.

"That's it. Come on I know you are feeling more than thank you."

"I'm fine" I say not wanting to talk about it. I do want to talk about it with him but not while my dad is here. I don't want him involved in much in life. Plus things might be ruined by the end of the night. I don't feel like explain things to him if everything goes wrong. God I hope not.

"Bull" he says eyeing me up and down.

"Please Gabriel can we talk about this later. Right now I have a one track mind." I say as he stands in front of me folding his arms.

"Okay" he says stepping aside. "But we will talk about this. I want all the details minus the sex tomorrow. Although I am sure I'll hear you two later on tonight."

"You can't be serious." I say. He sounds like a girl talking to her best friend. Plus I wasn't even thinking about sex for once. It would be nice if we did end up in my bed at the end of the night, but I can't think that far ahead. I also don't want my dad to catch us. Not because he would be mad or anything but because I just don't want him involved in my life. He left us so he lost that right.

I never gave Gabriel the chance to say something but I am sure he did. I took the fifteen steps from my room to the living room to greet Dean. I should mention he is five minutes early. That's a good sign I think.

"Dean" I say as I stepped into the living room. Dean said nothing as he eyes me up and down. I guess wearing skinny jeans was a good idea. I can feel his eyes burring into me. I can't help but stare back. All the nervous I was feeling are kind of push aside for now. I hope it stays like this.

"Hey stop with the eye sex. You're making me uncomfortable." Gabriel says as he appears in the room. A lot of people think Gabriel is being a smart ass but I am pretty sure he does this to point out what he interprets things as.

"Jealous that I have a hot date tonight and you don't." I'm so glad my father isn't in the room,

"Ready" I say interrupting the banter I know that is about to come.

Dean said nothing as he turn around to leave.

"Dean I wish you would not tease Gabriel about not having a date." I say as I sit in the passenger seat of his car. He knows as well as I do he is hurting. He might hide it but I know my brother is hurting. He might have a girlfriend now but she just something to pass the time. HE isn't serious about it.

"Hey, he is always starting with me."

"I know but you know he still has feelings for Jo and what you said reminded him that she hates him." Not to self-get to the bottom of that tonight too.

"She doesn't hate him" Dean says as if he knows something I don't.

"Well I sure can't tell. Why does she avoid him?" He looks like he thinking about something. Maybe he will tell me what is going on with her.

"I don't know okay. Now can we not talk about them tonight? Can we just talk about us?" he says as he grabs my hand. I'll let it go for now, but I will try to help my brother the best way I can. Dean knows something and he is telling me.

We drove for about forty five minutes before we ended up in the next town over. Why he choose this is hard to say. I do have some ideas though. I guess Dean is comfortable being totally public. I'm guessing he bought us here because nobody knows us. I'm not offended although I should be. At least he is taking baby steps. He could have chosen to have a date inside my house or his but he didn't. I am proud of him for this. He is slowly restoring my faith.

We ended up in a Red Robins. I am not surprised. Dean loves burgers. After we get seated we sit here in awkward silence. I guess he doesn't know what to do either. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. I guess I should break the ice.

"Thank you for taking me out tonight." I say hoping conversation would take off.

"NO problem " He says as he double checks for people they might know. Okay now I am getting mad. We are in another town where people don't know us. I need to calm down. He is nervous too.

"Why did you?"

"Why Did I what?" he says looking at me. He looks lost but I don't care. If he is lost I will galdy direct him back. My anger which I think has more to do with him looking around has decided the theme for the night to be questions and answers. Good thing I bought money with me. I might piss him off. I don't care though I have put up with a lot and I am at the point where I need answers. If I am to continue with this it could mean we are over. I think it's worth the risk. I just hope I am not betting too much.

"Why did you take me out?"

"Because I thought it was about time. We have been …. You know for like a two years I least owe you dinner." He looks uncomfortable.

"You mean we have been having sex." Tonight I am being blunt I don't care. Dean's face turned red at my words.. He actually turned and look to see if anybody saw me. At this moment I realized I am not mad at him for being in the closet. I am pissed at him for lying to me. HE loves Bella and not me.

"Dude you can't just go blurting stuff out like that."

"Why can't I Dean. I am proud of my sexuality and do not care." I say as I took a sip of my water. I know what he is thinking but for once I want himt o say it out loud. I want him to say it to my face.

"What is your…. your well you know?" he ask not being able to say the word. Okay I think I am starting to understand my brother a lot more.

"Sexuality Dean and I am proud to be bisexual. Aren't you?" I say hoping it will open a highway to a conversation we need to have.

"You mean you actually know you like other dudes besides me. Wait how long you've known?" Dean asks like he had no idea. How could he not know?

"I started to realize I had an attraction to boys and girls when I was about eleven."

Does he really not have a clue? Is he really lost. Judging from his reaction he might actually be lost in figuring out who he is. HE really is. I can't believe I have been so angry at him. Myabe I should hold back tonight.

"You sneaky son a bitch." Dean says with a smile "You been plotting on me since middle school." There is the Dean I know.

Of course I know what he means but I think I will play dumb.

"I do not understand" I say

"OH but I do. You seduced me that summer before high school." He actually seduced me. Well I am not entirely sure. When we kissed I was too high to realize who made the first move. All I know is we kissed and it was great.

"Dean I believe you have mixed up who kissed who first." I say pretending like I know.

"Hey I might have kissed you first but it was your idea." He says reaching his hand across the table. I love holding his hand. It was like a part of me would be missing but was found when we touched, but of course I would never admit tell It might freak him out.

"You never answered my question." Castiel says looking into his green eyes.

"I know Cas and to answer your question. You are the only guy I will only want. I don't see myself ever being with another guy." I don't believe him. I don't know why but I have a feeling he isn't telling me everything. I wanted to force him but I think I will give him ore time. I see how lost he is.

"What about Bella?" I have to ask that. I have been holding onto to this subject for a while. I won't ask to much. I just want to see what he will tell me.

"She won't be back until labor day weekend. Do we have to talk about her" he says like he feels guilty.

"Yes we do." I say stoned face.

"Fine" he says giving in. "what about her?"

"Are you having sex with her?" I decided to play it calm, cool, and collective.

"Yes…We have been having sex for a while…I actually lied to you the weekend of out first time…..but I am sorry for lying to you. Please don't be mad.

HE actually told me the truth. I am shocked. Maybe Dean is actually learning.

"What about your feelings for her?" Before I can get excited about him teling me the truth I need to dig a bit deeper.

"Well" he says as he takes a breath. He looks at me then looks away before he talks. "Loo" he say looking into my eyes. "I am going through a hard time. I have feelings for her but I have feelings for you. I think about you all the time, but I think of her too. I hate when I am not with you. III have to hold back sometimes because I don't to come off too clingy. I don't exactly know what this is at this moment I never want it to stop." I am shocked. That is the rawest he has ever been.

"So you do have feelings for me" I say trying to choose my words carefully.

"Yes I do. I hate the thought of you being with another person. Guy or girl."

"What about her." I can't bring myself to say her name.

"I do have feelings for her but they are so much different from the ones I feel for you." He says like he is embarrassed.

That's all I need to hear. He didn't lie to me for once. I asked him a question and he answered me. I actually feel like he is telling me the truth. It sucks he has feelings for Bella but I feel like that won't last long. If I give him more time then he will be mine.

"Is there any more questions you have." He says looking at me with a loving gaze.

"I do have one more." Now that he has been honest with me. I should ask for my brother sake. Maybe I can give him some peace of mind.

"What is it." He says as our food arrived.

"What is going on with JO?"

"I can't tell you. It's family stuff." He says with a pleading look. I want to dig deeper but I will let it go for now. I'm sure he will tell soon enough.

"Okay" I say

"Great, now can I say you look so fucking sexy tonight. I can't wait to go back to your place." He says with a sext grin.

"You want to spend the night?" I ask surprised. It's like we never even had sex.

"I sure do."

I wanted to lean across and kiss him right there, but I didn't. Dean has taken a big step tonight, no need to freak him out. I did get some answers but I still feel like he is lying to me. I'll ignore that for now. He has renewed my trust. Since h has I will trust he will come clean to me.

The rest of our date went great we laughed and talked about everything. It was like how it usually is but better. I am so happy we did this. After we ate dinner and I threaten this guy sitting across from us for calling us fags, we went to a drive in movie. I'm sure neither one of us remember what the movie was because we ended up in the back seat of the Impala the whole time. I didn't want the night to end.

I'm so happy he wanted to come to my house and spend the night. Once we hit my bed we didn't have sex. We just laid there. He laid in my arms all night. I don't care if my dad saw us now. I am to happy right now. I had the best time ever with him and I will always remember this. It's the first date I been on that really meant something.

Tonight proved that what I was feeling was real. I am in live with Dean Winchester. I love everything about him and he might feel the same **way. I won't **ask him right now but I have a feeling that one day he will tell me the same. I just have to be patience and have faith.

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**So what do you think?**  
** dean CAME CLEAN BUT HE DIDN'T TELL Cas THE WHOLE TUTH. **

**_To mini_: Happy ending these boys still have two more years of high school. Sorry if i hurt you but don't worry they will have happy times i promise, but there is still so much un answered.**

_**Spoilers**_

**Next chapter will have a time jump and will let you know what is going on with Gabriel and Jo**

**I will be back Thursday/Friday night i think **


	27. Chapter 27 Gabriel

**So here is the next chapter please tell me what you think.**

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**Chapter 27 Gabriel **

"UMMMMMM Cas, sooo good." I hear Dean moan

Okay I have had enough of this. I can take it no more. All summer long I have heard noises come out of Cassie's room. I hate to imagine what they do when I am not home. I get they found some new spark in their relationship but come on they both have to be sore. I'm surprised Dean can even walk straight with the way they have been going at it. I am tired of this. I have a girlfriend and a chick on the side and I still aint having sex like them.

I'm just glad does stay the nights during the week. He is still over here like every day though. I'm just glad they do other things sometimes. Normally during the week they go swimming or whatever. I have tagged along with them a few times. Sure we have had a couple double dates, the girls I'm usually with don't know they are a couple. Although one girl who was from California asked me if they were a couple. I could have told her and had someone to talk to about this but I decided against it. I promised I wouldn't tell a soul. Damn my brother and his closeted boyfriend. Not matter how the day goes it always ends the same. It always ends with them having sex.

I can't state how tired I am of them. They need to come out their room. I have hung out with either of them in like two weeks. It's time they remember me and come the hell back to the real world. Summer is almost over and I want to do something fun. Plus I kind of ned them tonight.

"Dean if you keep moaning like that you won't be able to enjoy it very long. It's really getting to me." I hear my brother say as my stomach turns. I can deal with the sounds . I put up with it because I have done the same to him but I cannot deal with the dirty talk. Them talking I start to imagine things.

"You like the way I eat pie" Did Dean just say pie. He is moaning over pie. Really I'm standing at their door waiting to go in and Dean is moaning over pie. You have go to be kidding me. I love all things sugar but you never hear me having a orgasm.

"No I like it when you make those noises."

"Cas not now. I'm eating pie." Apparently my brother is turned on by Dean eating pie. What type of shit are the in too. I'm all for using food for foreplay but never have I got turned on by someone eating a pie. A lollipop or popsicle maybe but never a pie. I have to have a talk with Cassie real soon.

"The bed's not that big Dean. You move anymore you'll be on the floor." I think I am starting to get sick.

"I always could take my pie and go home." Dean sounds real serious there. You would think you just insulted him and his family. Wow.

"Yes you could but why would you?" Oh god why? Why is pie such a turn on to them?

"You horny little bastard." I hear Dean say before I hear bodies moving.

"There's nothing little about me Dean." Okay, that's it. Why am I standing here listening to them. I came to his room for a reason. I have to do it now or it will be hours before I can talk to them again. Plus if I wait hours they will be to tired.

"Oh my god you two at it again and now there's pie involved. Oh no. Well thank you for ruining pie for me." I say as I burst through the door without knocking. When I walked in they were in the middle of kissing.

"Well nobody told you to just come right in." Dean shot at me as he and Cassie maneuvered their selves so they was sitting with their backs against the head broad.

"Well shit I tried waiting for ya'll to come out of the room, but I figured I have a better chance at Jo ever talking to me again." Wait a minute. Dean looked real guilty when I said her name. What the hell is he hiding? Okay I can think about that later. Right now I am not thinking about her.

"We have not been in here that long." Cassie's say's like I am annoying him. Okay I get this is the only time he has Dean to himself but come on he even needs a break.

"I call bull. Ever since Dad left you two have been going at it like rabbits, but unfortunately for me you sound like drunken gorillas." It's true but they only sound like gorillas when they have been drinking. That's only on the weekends though.

"What does a drunken gorilla sound like?" Cassie asks I can't tell if he if really wants to know or if he is being sarcastic. I really don't care to figure it out.

"Like you two a duhhh."

"Did you want something Gabe or did you just come in here hoping to sneak a peek?" Dean asks.

"Oh Juliet, right family tree wrong branch though."

"What?" Dean asks confused. I knew that would go over his head.

"I think he means he rather see Jo." My brother nails it while he struck a nerve, but I am not thinking about her right now.

"Honestly Cassie you should have never dumped that smart chick. I mean she was hot and she had brains but a last you want beauty with no brains." That's right I am secure enough to admit Dean is a good looking guy.

"Screw you little man." Dean shouted

"Why Dean, aren't we just the little energizer bunny. Here I thought you'd be all sore after spending the entire summer with my baby bro."

Before Dean could say something Cassie interrupted. "Did you want something Gabriel?"

"Why yes I did. I came in here to tell you that we are going out tonight." I will not take no for an answer. I need them tonight. Just in case.

"You mean to ask us?" Dean says. Okay maybe he isn't a dumb as I think.

"No I am telling you. If I leave it up to you two to decide you'd say no. So I am not giving you the choice. You two yahoo's have been going at it all summer and you owe me."

"We owe you dick." Dean says.

"Again I think that's Cassie's job. Really Dean I know we Novak's are a sexy bunch, but I just don't swing that way." Dean gave me the finger. I really love getting under his skin sometimes. It's just to easy.

I just laughed and said "See what I mean about beauty but no brains."

"Shut your cake hole jackass" Oh now he is being careful about what he is saying. Took him long enough.

"I'd love some cake, and I plan on getting some in a few minutes after I tell you guys the plan for tonight." I can throw anything back at him. Anything he says I will always have a comeback.

"Who said we are going." Cassie says. If Dean wasn't here he wouldn't really fight this much. He would have said something I would have told him I am not taking no for an answer. He would give in and I would be eating ice cream by now.

"Oh you are going, both of you are…. Look I miss my brother and I miss my friend and I would like for us to hang out tonight and for your help just in case Naomi shows up while I am with Heather."

"I don't believe you" Dean says while giving me a look of disgust.

"I agree with Dean." Cassie says looking at me.

"You too owe me; I have kept your secret for a long time now." I hate to play that card, but I need them tonight.

"No Gabriel I think we both mean there is another reason. Naomi knows about Heather and she graduated last year. She wouldn't show up tonight. By now she should have left for college." Damn my brother for being so smart. He's right Naomi won't be there tonight. She left for some school the other day.

"Why do you really need us?" Dean asks folding his arm. I refuse to tell them now. I will tell them when we actually get to this party.

"I will tell you that after you are dressed." I say before looking at my watch before I started talking again. "You have two and a half hours before we leave. Make sure you eat something before we go out." I say as I walk out the door. "OH" I say popping my head back into the door. "Since I know you two can't keep your hands off each other, you'll save more time if you fuck in the shower."

I didn't give them time to say anything. After a few minutes I heard the shower running. If you are wondering if they did it in the shower I will save you time from wondering. They didn't. They each took turns.

The drunken Gorillas were actually ready in two hours and we arrived there earlier than I expected. We walked because it wasn't that far and drinking and driving wasn't a good idea. My dad just bought me a new car and I'm pretty sure Dean didn't want to dent his new car either.

"Say Gabriel" Dean asks as we stood outside the house.

"Yes Dean" I say looking at the house as I felt my heart jump.

"Who house is this. I mean I see some people from school but I have never been here"

"It's my Adam Milligan's house" I said giving them.

"As in Jo's boyfriend." Dean says looking at me.

"Yes Deano You is correct." Cassie gives me a look of disappointment. Yes Jo has a boyfriend. She has been dating him for a few months now. I found out when I showed up at her house to talk to her again and saw them two kissing on the porch. After I saw them together I vowed to Cassie that I was over her and that I have moved on. He stupidly believed me.

"OH you have got to be kidding me. Your dating Heather, the blond chick that looks like she could be Jo's sister only she eyes her green." Says Dean

"Correct, but I don't see your point." I say lying.

"Gabriel I think you do. You swore you were over her. Now you bring us to a party her boyfriend is throwing to show off your look alike girlfriend. What does that say to you?" I know what it looks like, but I am going to play dumb.

"Cassie I don't know what you are talking about. Jo and Heather are friends. She was invited so she invited me and I thought you two might like to come."

"Jo hates her." Dean points out. I know they hate each other, but the pretend they like each other. Heather has told me all about it.

"Dude you are like the world's biggest stalker. Give it up." Dean says pinching the bridge in his nose.

"I do not know what you mean. My girlfriend invited me to a party and I came. Plus your red hot cousin is here with her boyfriend. So if you two ladies don't mind I'm going inside." I say given them the deuces sign. Heather might have invited me but I only came so I could see Jo. I need to see her. I get she doesn't want anything to do with me but I need to know she is at least happy. She walked around school like she was so miserable. I need to know that had changed.

Once the three of us entered the party we ended up splitting up. I have no idea where the two fo them went. Soon as I got in I spotted Jo in the kitchen with her boyfriend and my girlfriend. I really hate them right now. I need them for support and they abandon me it's okay I'll take it up with them later.

"Hey sexy" I said as I walked up to Heather and kissed her. Jo watched our movements very carefully. As I kissed Heather, Jo wrapped her arm around Adam's waist tightly. I think she might still like me. She looks jealous. If she still wants me all she has do is tell me and I am hers.

"What's up Jo? What's up Adam?" I say after I am done putting on a show.

"Hey Gabriel. How's it going?" she says like everything is cool between us. Oh she is good but she can't hide the shit in her eyes.

The four of us stood there for a while having an awkward conversation. Jo finally having enough I guess of it excused herself to go to the bathroom. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to talk her. After a few minutes I made up an excuse and followed her. Heather being the shallow person she is didn't notice at all.

I stood by the door waiting for her. I wonder what she is doing in there. As I stood there fear started coming over me. See this is why I need the gorillas with me. They could have helped me but now I am all alone. I stand there for a few minutes telling myself I can do this. I can talk to her. I have done to so many times.

Before I can finish giving myself a pep talk she walks out the bathroom

"Love the new hair." I say leaning on the wall next to the bathroom. Jo stood there frozen. She looked shocked to see I had followed her. Why is she shocked? It's like she doesn't even know me anymore.

"Thank you." She says turning around to look at me. We stood there looking at each other for a few moments. God she is so beautiful. Just having her close makes my heart skips a beat. How could she not feel the same way?

"So" he say breaking the starring contest. "You and Adam together."

"Yup. I see you and Heather are too." Yes but I would drop her in a minute. I know it's wrong but it's the only thing I can do to get over the pain I have been feeling.

"Yeah." I say not knowing what to say. What is going on? I always know what to say. What did I do to make her so mad at me? Why is she doing this?

"Yeah" she says as she starts to walk off.

"I miss you." I blurted out. Jo stopped in her tracks. She keeps her back to me as I kept speaking. I don't know what I am saying but I have to say something.

"Jo I don't know what happen. One day we are friends, the next day we're making out and have plans to go on a date, then the next you want nothing to do with me. Maybe I put too much pressure on you and if I did I am sorry." Jo turned around to look at me. I hope she sees the confusion and sincerity in my eyes. " I don't know what I did. Please just tell me so I can fix it. I know I got around with a lot of girls but I stopped once I realize that you hated that. If you heard a rumor it wasn't true. Please Cotton just tell me. Tell me what I did so I can start making it up to you. Tell me what I have to do because I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss talking to you, hanging out with you. Everyday I want to call you but I can't because I remember you want nothing to do with me. Please just tell me. I beg you. Jo I really do miss you. I can't say it enough. Not just the I miss you I want to be a couple I miss you, but the I miss my friend kind. I miss my best friend. If you don't want a relationship that's fine I can kind of stop the flirting but I need my best friend. Please just tell me what I need to do to get you to talk to me again."

She says nothing as she looks into my face. I know I look like I am on the verge of crying. I know she can hear every emotion in my voice. I know she misses me too.

Before I could speak again. She jumped on me and started kissing me with such passion. It's like I have gone months without water and she is the first drop I have had. I never want this to end. I can feel every emotion in her. It's like she is passing them to me so I can feel her pain. I can tell she is in pain.

Jo finally broke the kiss but she held my chin with her hand. She had tears in her eyes. It's like she wants to tell me something but she can't. She opened her mouth to speak but she closed it again.

I started to tell her I loved her but she kissed so gentle before she back up. I stood there confused happy and heartbroken while she placed her hands around her neck. That's when I realized she was still wearing the necklace I bought her.

"I 'm sorry" she says as she cuffs my hand.

"Please." I begged as I feel her place it in my hand.

"I can't she says crying as she hurries back into the bathroom.

I stand there realizing that it's really over. It never really started but she is really gone. What am I supposed to do? How do I move on from her? I love her. What do I do now?

**Dean**

Cas and I have been having the time of our lives this summer. Whatever I have been feeling for him has only gotten stronger. We spend every day together and I kind of hate it's coming to an end, but at least we still have time.

Speaking of time Gabriel tried to take that away from us. He knows we only have a short window but he dragged us on a stalker mission. I was going to try and get him and my cousin together but she went and got a boyfriend. There is nothing I can do about that. Jo said she moved on and I believe her.

Convincing Cas not to go was a fail but convincing him to leave the party was easy. I told him I want to show him something and he went for it. We ended up at a lake that wasn't to far from Adam's house.

"Why are we here?" Cas asked once we stood in front of the lake.

"Look what I got." I say as I bring out a bad of weed.

I thought you were done with that." He say smiling. I was but truth is I missed it and I want to k now what sex was like with it.

"I thought that smoking this here would be better than being at some loud party with people we barely talk to." I say hoping he go for it. Who am I kidding of course he will. He is the one who introduced me to it.

"It is but what will we smoke it with." He says taking the bad in his hand to examine it.

"Why do you doubt me Cas? You need to have faith. Have faith in me?" I say as I pull out rolling papers. I was planning on using it tonight. I thought we smoke it on his deck but here is so much better. I want to make him happy and this only makes it better.

A half hour and two joints later we were laying on the sand watching the stars. It feels so romantic. Cas laid on his back while I laid on his chest. I listen to heart beat as I watch the stars. I don't know why but this feels so comfortable.

"This is nice." I say raising my head to look him in his eyes. His eyes are so beautiful. Whenever I look at them it's like I am seeing them for the first time.

"Indeed" he says looking me. I don't know how but the moonlight makes him look dreamy. Wow I must really be high to be thinking like this.

"I'm glad Gabriel made us go out." I say as I drum my figures on him.

"How is that Dean? We left the party."

"Yeah but if he didn't make us come we wouldn't have ended up here." I said as I grabbed his face to make him look at me.

"Careful Dean this might end up chick flick "he says giving me that beautiful smile. Okay I am really high right now, but I don't care. I like the way this feels.

"I don't care. Being here with you feels so right." I say before I kiss him. "Wow your kisses feel so good." I say breaking away. I never tell him that.

"good." He says as he motions for me to move. I slowly move but once I do he is standing over me. Damn he looks so good.

"I know what else might feel good." Cas says as he starts to take his clothes off. .

"What are you doing?" I ask getting turned on. I don't know how it's possible though. Gabriel is right I should be sore but I am too busy loving every second of him.

"Going for a dip. Would you care to join me?" He says as he starts walking towards the water. I watched him as made his way into the water.

"That water is going to be cold."

"I'll keep you warm." He says as the moonlight hit him perfectly.

"Only for you." I yelled as I quickly took off my clothes.

* * *

**So what do you think?**

**do feel for Gabriel and Jo?**

**Are you mad at Dean for not keeping his promise to reunite those too? **

**Do you love his and Castiel relation right now?**

**Do you see hope for them yet? By them I mean all four of them. **

**Review and i might update in the next 48 hours**


	28. Chapter 28 Dean

**Chapter 28 Dean **

I'm starting to have a love hate relationship with summer. I love it because it lets me live in fantasy world. It's a world where I can take a break from my normal life. It's the only time when I can ignore what is wrong with me. Man did I ignore everything. Cas made me so happy. I almost forgot everything else in my life.

I almost forgot and that brings me to what I hate most. I hate summer because it ends. Summer is a dream world that ends up biting me in the ass. I let the summer go by like I didn't have a girlfriend. I let myself believe Cas was still a friend. Okay I'll admit my feelings for him did grow this summer. I don't know what they are right now. I can't think about that right now.

Right now I am standing in my backyard looking up at my house. I am hesitating to go in. I was at work detailing a car when I got a text from Jo. It said I should come home immediately. I asked if something was wrong but she did not respond. Something is wrong and I am actually scared to find out. I have the best summer ever, and it would be my luck to have it end on a sour note. It's just my luck. If I don't go in then nothing can happen. I can hold onto my summer a little longer. Who am I kidding it's been real hot this summer and with the way the sun is beating down on me I can't stand here forever. Okay I am going in.

Before I went in I took a deep breath I walked in. I wished I hadn't . Once I was inside the kitchen I saw Jo and Gabriel sitting at the table waiting for me. I wish I wasn't here. Gabriel looks pissed and she looks relieved. They also look like they are happy. Why are they together. I thought Jo was with Adam and Gabriel was with Heather or whoever. Jo said sais she was done with him. Why is she with Gabriel? I'm shocked to see them together. They look happy when they look at each other but once the laid eyes on me they looked pissed.

" We've been waiting for you." Jo says as they stood up. She doesn't sound happy. This can't be good. Gabriel put his arm around her as he gave me a dirty look.

"What's going on here?" I ask finally shock to realize Gabriel is actually standing in my house. The rents must be out. There is no way they let him in the house. Wait they would let him in unless.

"I couldn't keep your secret anymore" Jo says looking at me with shame felt like. Oh god I knew it. I knew she would end up doing this. She can't keep my secret. I think it would hurt less if she punched me in the balls again. She knows how I feel about my secret.

"What?" was all I could manage to say?

"You heard her Dean." Gabriel says it is the first times I have heard Gabriel speak. I looked Gabriel in the eye and his eyes looked furious. I am actually scared of him right now. I think he loves her and I know loves can make you do crazy things/ At least I hear that. I never do crazy things for Bella and we love each other. I put my guard up immediately I fee; at any time Gabriel could come charging at me. I don't want to fight him but I will if I have to.

"I thought we were friends." Gabriel says to me like I actually betrayed him. I didn't betray him. Jo said she moved on. I was actually doing him a favor. I thought Jo wanted nothing to do with him. She really was convincing. I thought I was saving him from making a fool of himself.

"We are Gabe" I say as I make sure I am ready for anything he might try.

"No we are not. If we were friends you would have told me the truth. How many times have I asked you what was going on with her and how many times did you lie to me." He says holding onto Jo tight.

"Gabe.. man I'm sorry." I really am. If I had known it was this serious I would have fixed it.

"Save it Dean. I don't want to hear it. Jo and I want nothing to do with you." He says as he motion for her to follow him. "From this day on we are through and that includes Jo too." He say this before he and Jo walked around me and out the back door.

I watched them as they left. I wanted to say more but they were gone before I found the words. I feel awful. If I had known it was this serious I would have done something about it. I really would have.

After they left I headed towards the living room. I wished I didn't. When I entered the living room Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen were sitting on the couch waiting for me

"Jo told us about you." Aunt Ellen says sitting on the couch with disappointment in her eyes. I felt that oh to familiar knot form in my throat. "Is it true?" she asks with her arms and legs folded. I opened my mouth but the words wouldn't come.

"Answer her boy." Uncle Bobby says angrily. I knew he would be angry. He was sitting in the lazy boy by the couch eyeing me up and down. I'm afraid he might kill me.

"Yes" was all I could muster up. The room feels like it's was spinning out of control. I want to run and hide somewhere but I have to face to this like a man. Even if they think I am less then one.

"So it's true. You are a faggot." Uncle Bobby says standing up. That word hurts so much. How could he call me that? I am way beyond that word. Who I sleep with doesn't define me.

I started to sat something but he stalked up to me like a lion stalks its prey. He stopped within a foot of me. He looks like he hates me. How could he hates me. He tells me I am his son. How can he hate his son? I looked into his eyes and I could see the disappointment mix with rage swirling around in his eyes.

"It's still me" I tried haven't changed. I still have the same interest. I am still the same person. Why can't see it.?

"No boy it's not. I don't know who you are and you know what? We don't give a damn, who you are now. We want you out of here?" It's actually happening. He is throwing me out. Everything I feared is coming true. My family hates me.

"You can't be serious" he said with his voice cracking

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" Uncle Bobby yelled.

I kept my mouth shut as I turned around to leave. When I turned around to leave I saw my younger brother standing in the door way looking up at me crying. Now I have disappointed him. He is the last person I wanted to hurt. I love him like he was my own.

"Sammy" I say walking up to him.

"Don't talk to me. I'm ashamed to have you as a brother" Sammy says before he walks up the stairs. Never felt so much rage. I such a short period my whole family has turned on me My family the people who are supposed to be there no matter what hate me and I don't understand why.

I finally walked outside the house. I have no idea what I am going to do but I feel a breeze. It's the first he breeze I have felt all summer. I pick my head up and I see Cas walk up on the porch. I am so happy to see him. I know he will help me.

"Cas" I say as I give him a bear hug. "Man am I so glad to see you" I say letting him loose to look at him. I wish I hadn't. Cas stood there stiff looking at me. Why is looking at me like this.? I can't even describe how he is looking at me because I don't know this look. I have never seen it before.

I take as the back hoping the tension I'm feeling is all in my head.

"It's over Dean" He says in such a heartless tone.

"What?" I say feeling like someone ripped my heart from ,y chest. DI he just say it's over. Maybe I am hearing things. I need him right now he has to see that. He would never say that knowing I need him. Hell I need someone. I am losing everyone I have.

"You can't have us both. It's not right, so I am ending it."

"Please don't say that" Dean I say as I begin to cry. "I need you" I begged trying to grab Cas but he rebuffed him. I do need him. I lost my family I can't lose my best friend. "Don't do this, please. What about all the time we have spent together, all the nights of making love, all the talks we have had. You have been my rock baby. Nobody makes me feel the way you do. I need you Cas. You are my rock, don't leave me please." I cried.

"You're embarrassing yourself Dean." Cas says not caring like he doesn't care about my feelings. Castiel I need you." I whined. I hope he changes his mind. I can't lose him too.

"I thought you need me?" says a voice with an English accent. Oh no. That is who I think.

I looked over Cas's shoulder and saw Bella standing in the pathway. Oh no. How could I forget about the one normal thing in life? How could I forget about her?

"Bella?" I say feeling totally out of it. This has to be a dream. This could not be happening to me. I tried pinching myself but I was still there but only now I have Cas and Bella standing on opposite sides of me. What am I going to do?

"Well?" she says looking at me. I looked at her and I could see nothing but hurt in her eyes. How could I hurt her? She is the only innocent person in this.

"Bella I'm sorry. I love you so much and I do need you." I said grabbing her face with both hands. I need her. She makes me feel normal.

"What about me Dean? Don't you love me?" Cas asks hurt. I need him. He doesn't make me feel normal but he makes me feels ways I don't know how to explain.

"Cas how can you ask me that?" I say spinning around to look him in his eyes. Cas's eyes spoke of hurt and anger. I never wanted him to feel this way.

"I think it's a fair question?" Bella says. I looked at her. Her eyes say she has figured out everything and she hates me. I ruined her and made myself know as freak.

I stood in the middle looking back and forth at them. I can't figure out who to comfort, who to beg for forgiveness, and who to let go. They both mean so much to me. Who do I hurt, my best friend or my girlfriend. I have to make choice but I don't who to choose. Please god, help me choose.

"Please understand. I think I need you both." I say looking at the ground in shame. I have finally told them the truth but I feel so dirty.

"You need us both?" Bella says disgusted. I knew this would happen. She doesn't deserve this.

"You have to choose Dean." Castiel say folding is arms. I want to have hope but he doesn't look like I should.

"You have to understand" I say moving my head back and forth to look at both of them.

"Oh I understand. You will never choose so I will do it for you. I'll leave. Good-bye Dean" Cast says as he walks off the porch. I'll thought I never have choose. I thought me and him understood what we had. I thought me and him knew that one day it would come to end. Now that it has come to an end I never want it to end, but I don't want to leave her either. I can't leave her like this. She looks so hurt. I hate seeing females hurt. I hate seeing her hurt.

"Cas…. Cas… Castiel please " I yell after him. I called him but did not turn around. He is actually through with me and we will never be together ever again. We won't be together or be friends. I thought he never be out of my life. Once he was gone I turned to face Bella. I lost Jo, I lost Gabriel, I lost Sam, I lost Bobby and Ellen ,I lost Cas, now I can't lose her too. They are all gone and she is all I have left.

"I'm sorry." I begged.

"Yes you are sorry." She says after slapping me. I deserved that. If I hadn't lied so much I would still have them all.

"I deserved that." I said while rubbing my face.

"You deserve more than that, but I am one of the things you don't. I hate you Dean. How could you do this to me?" she cried "I love you. I have always loved you. I have been nothing but wonderful to you and cheat on me with a guy. How disgusting are you? What is worng with you? Did you think I would not find out? Did you think you could just keep getting away without nasty hobby ?" She says at the top of her lungs.

"I'm so sorry" I say so quiet. I have nothing else to say. What is there to say? I messed up at every angle. I am wrong all over.

"Stop saying you're sorry. I hate you." She yells as she pushes me. I moved a step. I didn't think she was that strong, but anger will do that to you. I feel like shit.

"Please don't say that" I say grabbing her and trying to hold her but she pushed me away. Again she is really strong right now.

Bella composed herself. She was never the type to act out of character but I actually bought her out of it. She took a breath and fixed her clothes before she spoke again. "I do hate you. I will always hate you. I am leaving you Dean; please don't ever speak to me again. You are a horrible person." She says with tears out of her mouth.

"Please don't" I begged. She can't leave me. I can't her leave. I love her.

"I'm not sorry and I am leaving. You made your bed, Now lay in it." she says as she walks down the steps with tears in her eyes. What have I done? I had a good life and I have chased everything good in it. I lost my family who I love, I lost my friends who I love who I love, I love Cas who I care about and I lost Bella. I am now on my own. I can't do this alone. I need one of them.

"Bella…Bella Bella Bella Bella" I yell.

I scream her name until I heard someone call my name repeatedly. Who is calling me? Did Cas or my family change their mine. They call my name again while I look for them. IT sounds like Bella. Is it her? Did she change her mind?

"Dean?" I hear he call again.

Everything went black. I tried to open my eyes for a minute but I couldn't. I finally was able to open my eyes.. His whole body was soaked in a cold sweat. I open my eyes to look around. I saw my room and I sat up as quickly as possible. Once I sat up I saw her. I saw Bella. Once I saw her I realized it was all a dream. None of that has happen. If it did happen she would be sitting on the edge of my bed. I looked into her eyes, I did not see hurt, or disgust all I saw was love and concern.

"Bella" I say realized as I catch my breath. I have never been so happy to see her.

"Hello darling" she says with a soft smile. "Are you okay? I see you were having a nightmare" She sound so loving. It's like music to my ears.

I breathe in and out a few more times before I grabbed her and gave her a passionate kiss. It's the most passionate kiss I have ever given her.

"Wow I should surprise you more often" she says once we broke apart. She should. Who knows the next time I will have a night like that.

"I love you and I never want to hurt you" I say placing my hands on her. She just looks so beautiful. How could I not think about her the whole summer? Yeah I talked to her but if I didn't she never crossed my mind and that was wrong. I will make that up to her.

"Wow that must have been some dream." She say happy. It really was. I still can't believe it myself. I have no idea why I had it. Everything is okay in my world. Jo is happy, Gabriel is happy, Cas is happy. I have asked them, and they all told me in their own ways.

"Trust me it was?" I say remembering all the hurt in my dream. It was just a dream. I still have my family, friends. Cas, and her. My life is right. Everything is okay right now. I have to just remember that.

"Well it's over now, so get yourself together and meet me down stairs. I'm taking you out and it's my treat" she says smiling. She is the best. My stomach just growled and even though she didn't hear it she knew. She is just like Cas at times. How can I let either of them go when they both are happy.

"Where we going?" I say finally feeling happy almost forgetting my dream.

"Anywhere you want." She says cupping my face and giving me kiss. It's different from Cas but it's still nice.

"Can get cheeseburgers and pies" I ask hoping she says yes.

"Of course Darling of course" she says before kissing me again.

I am such a lucky gut I have not one but many people in my corner. It might have started out as my secret but now I have a few people who share it with me now. Things might have not went the way I have hoped but at least things are okay. I have Cas and Bella both. I might not know what I am going to do but at least right now I don't have to choose. I have both of them and that is all need for now.

I love my family and they still love me. I love my friends and they still love me. I love Bella and she still loves me. I'm not sure what I feel for Cas but one day I will figure it out., I'm just glad it's not today.

**_The End_ ...of Part 1 **

**Part 2 will start in the next Chapter**


	29. Chapter 29 Dean

**So I was going to make part 2 another story but I decided to keep it as the same story but divide it. I hope that makes sense. I post this chapter as another story but I deleted it. I will post everything until they graduate from here. I hope you are enjoying it. So enough talking if you haven't read this chapter than here it is. If you have I will be posting from Jo's pov in the next couple hours. Don't forget to review. **

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I am well into my junior year and things are okay. I don't why but even though things are going right it's like something is missing or something is about to go wrong. I can't shake the feeling that that things are about to go straight to hell. It might have something to do with that nightmare I had. I'm not lie experiencing that even in a dream world scared the hell out of me. It made me realize what I have and I need to hold on to everybody harder.

So I blocked my nightmare out and went on with my day to day complicated life. I made sure I kept everybody happy with me. Since I have done that everything seems a bit less complicated. I have been keeping my grades up, I work part time on the weekends, and I joined the school newspaper to be closer to Cas. Yes things are going good I guess, I mean Bella is even happy. She even stopped talking shit about Cas. We haven't argued or nothing. Jo and I are great. Gabriel and I even are getting along. I just I knew what my gut was trying to tell me.

Okay I do wish something's were different. I no longer feel like something is wrong with me but now I just feel confused. Everything in me tells I should be with Cas but I love my girlfriend. Everything in me doesn't want to hurt her. She is an awesome wonderfully person, how can I hurt her. I could never do that. I wish I could figure this thing out. I should be happy with things right now but I can't.

So it's November and I miss Cas. Other than lunch we don't have any classes together. I got so use to having him in at least two of my classes. We talk during lunch but it isn't the same as when the two of us are together. Gabriel and Bella still sits with us. I don't know why Gabirel eats with us. He's a senior and he has a girlfriend, yet he stills eats with us instead of his own classmates. I use to think that he eats with us because he thinks Jo will sart eating with us again but he told me he was over her now. Speaking of Jo she eats with her cheerleading friends who she has deemed "demon whores with fun personalities." She hates them all but Meg, but she is still friends with them. I honestly don't get girls.

I do still spend time with Cas though. We have Newspaper twice a week and he comes over sometimes but it's not every night anymore. He's pulling away from me. I can feel it. Something is bothering him and I just wish he tell me. I don't dare bring it up. I'm afraid if I do it might make things worse.

Since I think we haven't spent much time together I have decided to do something about it. I'm not going to what I have done in the past. I am not going to ignore this problem. I am going to fix it. I have done too much of ignoring problems and now I am going to just go see him.

I miss him I haven't spent any real time with him in three days and I need to see him. I need to kiss him. I need to kiss him and maybe do other things. He still won't let me top but I don't care anymore. Yeah it would nice to try it once but hey I love the other way too.

I knocked on the door twice before Gabriel opened it. Why am I not surprised? It's seems I have been spending more time with him lately. I like hanging with him but I'm not in the mood for that right now.

"Deano, what a surprise. Let me guess you're here for a rematch in 2k13" he says letting me in. Man for a guy who has a steady girlfriend he sure spends at least amount of time with her. Does he even like her. If he is just with her for the sex he should say it. He walks around pretending he likes he but he never actually tells her.

"Not today buddy. I'm here to see Cas" I say with a grin. HE gives me a look telling me I have bad timing. What is that about?

"Of course you are, but he's not here" Gabriel says. He's lying. I swear these Novak's aren't good at lying. Well maybe Balthazar. That guy can lie through his teeth and you would think he was a saint.

"Where is he?" I ask looking around the house.

"He's at the library." He says a little too quick. He had to know I see right through him. Why is he even bothering.

"So why is his car outside?" Now I'm lying. I didn't see his car but I want to see if Gabriel would squirm.

"It is." he says trying to keep a straight face but I can he is trying not to squirm. He might be lying but I am not mad at him. I would do the same for Sam or Jo in a heartbeat. I might not be mad at him but I am getting pretty mad at Cas. Why would His brother be lying for him?

"Yeah." I say looking him in the eyes. If I keep eye contact then Gabriel will fold.

"Come on Deano." He says after a few seconds. I could tell he was trying to get his story straight. "You know Cassie likes to stay fit. How else would he be able to climb through your window every night."

"He doesn't do that every night." I say feeling hurt. Cas doesn't come over every night anymore and it's starting to bother me.

Maybe, but he still does it. If he drove everywhere how can he keep in shape? He has to do something so he can pull himself up that branch."

"Really" I say standing there. I have to admit he is getting better at lying. Must be all the lying he does with his girlfriend. I almost believed him but something about his words sounds rehearsed.

"You're lying" I say after I notice Cas's sneakers and book bag on the floor next to the couch.

"Why I never?" Gabriel sys in a southern drawl placing his hand to his chest.

"If you aren't then why is his stuff still here. Hard to study without books."

"Well-"

"Stop" I say cutting him off. I came here in a good mood and him trying to make up a story is ruining it. "Where is he? Is he in his room or is he on the roof." I said not really caring to hide my irritation.

"I told you he isn't here" He says crossing his arms.

I have had enough of talking to Gabriel. I'll let him stay here and believe his own lies. I'm done .Gabriel said something but I ignored it as I turned to walk to his room. I called his name as I walked. If he is doing something he isn't something he isn't supposed to I want to give him time to fix himself.

As I call his name I heard Gabriel laughing behind me. I guess he is following me. He only does that when he knows he is going to witness drama. Damn him and his tells. I can't handle dram with Cas right now. We are happy. Why does he have to ruin it? I don't know if I can handle him being with somebody else. Yes I am with somebody else but he knew that from the start.

Please don't do this to me Cas. Okay maybe if it was this one time or it's some random whore I can get pass it, but if he is starting a new relationship, I don't know what I am going to do. Please only be with me. I know he likes girls. Okay he likes girls and maybe sometimes he needs to be with one. I can deal with that. Yeah I can deal. He likes girls too. Sometimes he wants to be one.

Okay if I walk in here and some random girl is here I am not going to get mad or jealous. I am going to be calm and cool. Yelling and arguing are things chicks do and I am not a chick.

I walked into his room with Gabriel on my heels. I took a deep breath before I walked into. When I walked I saw Cas lying on his bed with Meg Master's. They were lying on their stomachs facing the foot of his bed, with a bunch of books in front of them.

"Dean." He says looking up at me. My heart dropped. I hoped it be some random girl but no it has to be the one girl that got him to commit. I know I haven't said this in a while but I hate her. Why is she here?

"Hi ya Dean" She says giving me an evil smirk. She is such a bitch. My insides are heating up. It would shock me if my face was turning red or some shade close.

"Hey Buddy, Hey Meg. What's going on guys?" I say trying to remain col. It's not working. I want to cause a scene but I refuse to do it.

"OH nothing" Cas says standing up. "Meg and I have partnered up on a project for school." Yeah it looks like it's more than that.

"Really" I say surprised it came out calmer than I hoped. I might look cool but I feel like I want to shout. I want Meg away from my boyfriend. Yeah I said it. Cas is my boyfriend and I am ten seconds from not caring if anybody found out. He is mine and nobody elses.

"What class is this for?" I manage to get out. It said while grinding my teeth but I don't care right now.

"History, I told you at lunch that I have history with Meg and that we are partnering up to do a project." He saystilting his head to the side. He knows I love that. Why would he do that. It's hard to mad at him when he looks freaking adorable.

"Yeah Dean, did you forget that Castiel and I have history together" she says like she knows she was getting under my skin. Oh I hate that bitch. She said that like she knows something about us. I swear if Cas told her. Okay I need to calm down. Cas did tell me and it did slip my mind.

"I guess I did." I say as I fight the erg to give her the finger. Evil bitch.

"I'm sorry Dean but we have only a few days to this and we are kind of behind, so was there something that you wanted." He says like he isn't trying to be rude. Is he asking me to leave? I know he takes school serious but there is no way he'd kick me out.

"Nah… It can wait. I'll just talk to you tomorrow" Yeah this is left unfinished but trust me we will come back to this.

"Here I'll walk you out" He says before he turned to the demon bitch to excuse myself. I had to pick a guy who is polite. I hate she is staying and I am going.

"Are you okay Dean" he asks once we stood by the front door. Maybe he noticed I am upset. Should I tell him? No I'm not. I have done a lot of shit to him. I'll let it go this time. It won't be easy but I will. Fuck her I am the one he has been with for two years. That has to mean something…right.

"I'm fine. I just a little upset I didn't get to kiss you today." I say faking a smile. Cas gave me his famous half smile before he leaned in to kiss me. I swear his kisses make me drunk.

"Careful Dean, you sound a little like a chick flick" Cas jokes once we broke apart.

"Shut up" I say feeling a bit embarrassed and insecure.

"You know you have nothing to worry about. Meg and I are just partners and I'm only doing a project with her" He says holding his hands around both of my ears while he looks in my eyes. I feel like such putty when he looks at me.

"I know Cas." I say looking at the floor. I feel stupid. How could I think something of him? I know he wants me and only me.

"Then stop acting jealous." He says kissing me on the forehead. He always see's right through me. I love that about him.

I kissed him one last time before I reached around Cas to open the door.

"I'll see you at school" I say as I stand in the doorway.

"No Dean you'll see me tonight. Leave your window open" He says gripping me up to grab my ass. I am not proud but I let out a small whimper as he squeezed my ass and pulled me close for one last kiss. This kiss is amazing. It's like he sucking the life out of me.

"Until tonight then." I say breaking for air.

It didn't go how I planned but I'm glad I came over. I get to see him later tonight. Maybe iwas to much in my head. Nothing seems like it's going wrong.

**Cas**

I feel bad about keeping things from Dean. I love him but I am getting tired of being second. I want to give him more time but how long can this go on for. I am only with him three months out the year. The rest of time I have to watch him be with someone else. How long can I go like this?

Dean and I don't share any classes but I do share them with my ex-girlfriend Meg. I always liked her a lot. If Dean didn't come into the picture I probably would still be with her. AT first I wasn't going to do anything with her but a month ago I could help myself. We were talking in our last period class and then one thing led to another and we ended up in my room. I slept with her and it has been going on.

At first I didn't care. Dean has a girl why shouldn't I, but after today I am starting to care. He was hiding it but I could tell he cared if I was sleeping with her. I now have to end it things with Meg again. I hate this part. This will be the second time she has dumped me. This sucks. It wasn't just sex with her either. We have done other things. Okay enough beating around the bush. It's time I handle things. I like her but I love Dean.

I walked into my room ready to break up with her but that was put on pause. When I walked in she was lying on my bed in her bra and panties. Now I am confused. I love dean and like her but she lying there in her bra and panties looking so sexy. I want to end things with her but I also want to have sex with her again. I imagine this is how Dan feels when Bella is naked. One can only hope.

"Meg" I say trying to think of anything that will make my penis deflate.

"Hey blue eyes." She says in such a sexy draw. Oh god my dick is starting to feel like a rock.

"What are you doing?" Why am I asking like I don't know. We've been doing it every other day.

"I want your good loving angel" she says getting out of bed. Why couldn't she stay where she was? It would easier if she was further away from me, but no she had she walk up to me like cat. She stood on her tip toes to kiss my neck in all the spots she knows. I got to give it to her she knows my spots better then Dean. That says a lot. I have been with him longer and he still doesn't know what turns me on among other things.

"I can't do this Meg" I say as my eyes roll to the back of my head. Her lips are so soft. Damn her for being so sexy.

"Yes you can. Why you gotta play hard to get." She says between planting kisses I have to fight my hands. They want to touch her. . She is making it very hard for me to resist. Being with her makes me of all things I am giving up. If I am with her I don't have to hide or keep secrets and that sounds nice. I want to do this but I know Dean wouldn't like this. He would like this but then I remembered Dean has a girlfriend. He gets to be with two people. Why shouldn't I? Just the thought of Dean being with her is enough to do this.

"Come on" she says touching my privates as she looks into my eyes. Her eyes say so much. They tell me she wants me and she isn't afraid of what people will think and I do have a reputation.

"Fuck it" I says as I grab her. I run my hands though her hair as I kiss her hard and rough. I picked her so her legs and arms are wrapped around my body. It feels so good and wrong having her close.

"Now that's what I'm talking about" she says in between kissing me. I carried her over to my bed while we kissed. Once my feet hit the bottom of my bed I threw her down.

"Come and get it." She says smiling. She likes this. She likes it when I throw her around. "Well" she says opening her legs to invite me in.

I stood over her and removed my s shirt, I quickly then jumped on top of her\ as she let out a giggle telling me she loves this. Things are so easy with her.

"You asked for it" was the last thing I said before I crashed my lips into hers. I don't have to tell you what happens next.

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	30. Chapter 30 Jo

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**Chapter 30 Jo**

I hate my friends and I hate my life. I have friends who aren't really my friends. They bully people and act like they are so perfect. I swear if my parents didn't force me to make new friends I probably would have beaten these girls up by now, but I can't. If I don't make friend with them then I would be force to go through high school alone. I can't do that.

Crazy thing is out of all the girls on the squad that I hate. I end up making one real friend. After I join the squad I find out Meg is on the squad. We were close when she was with Cas, but one they broke up she pulled away. I still had a few conversations with her here and there but it never was the same. Once I joined the squad we became friends. Not just friends either we became best friends. We talk about everything and do pretty much everything together. I think we became friends the moment we both realize we hate almost every girl on the squad. I feel like I can tell her anything. Of course I never told her the events that led me here but I think she might know. I won't go into detail it's just little things she says that makes me think. I won't say anything though. Not out of loyalty to my cousin. He isn't ready. It sucks really, the only person I can talk about him to is the one person I miss and can't talk too.

Meg told me that her and Cas have been dating. They have been dating for at least two months. Who knows how long they really have. She told me two months ago and I am shocked. I am shocked because I never thought they get back together plus I thought Cas was head over heels for Dean. Last I checked they had some sort of arrangement where Dean is with Bella but Cas puts her first. I don't know about that but I do know this Meg is going to get hurt. I can't let that happen to her. I have lied to a few people but I don't want to hide anything from her.

I can't really tell her or talk to her about this I can talk to Cas. We haven't spoken in a while but I think it's time. I have spent weeks trying to figure out how to approach him but I haven't really came up with anything. I decided just to confront him and just go with whatever comes out. Cas being with my best friend has gone on long enough. He is going to hurt her and I can't let that happen.

It's January and kind of sunny for it to be in the idle of winter. I guess you could say we are having a mild winter. I decided that today is the day I talk to Cas. I waited for the school day to end before we talk. We need more then schedules breaks. I looked for him at his locker but he wasn't there. Instead of wasting time looking for him at school I decided to go to his house. I know Gabriel won't be there since that skinny bitch Heather said something about having plans with him after school.

I made my way out of school. There weren't too much traffic since I waited Cas at his locker. I figured I would be there in no time. I walked right outside of school and what do I see. I see a brunette couple practically having sex on a tree. I stood in shock to watch them even though I wanted to puck. It's disgusting but I stayed and watched once I realize who the couple was.

I kept a watchful eye on the couple who are displaying a discussing act of public affection. The couple who I identified as Castiel and Meg were practically about to have sex. Why is he doing this? Doesn't he care if Dean sees them? I stand a good six feet away as I fight the erg to gag. I am tempted to go over there and pulled them apart but I know that would cause more harm than good. I needed to have a talk with Cas. He is right in front of me but I still need to get him alone. I have been trying to talk to him for two weeks now but whenever I tried someone got in the way, but today is the day I am going to have a talk with him. Dean is finally coming around and he needs to know. I hate for him to ruin it.

I am going to speak with him. I don't care if I have to stand here and watch them have sex. As much as I hate it I stand here listening to their conversation. Let me tell you I wish I hadn't.

"Cas, I gotta get to practice" Meg says with her body pressed against. He held his arms firmly around her waist rubbing his nose with hers. It would be so cute if he wasn't banging my cousin. That pig.

"You can be a little late" he bargains before kissing her. I am supposed to at practice myself but I have more important things to do.

"Come on. I'm going to get in trouble" she says trying to push him off, but that only made him hold her tighter. She really isn't trying. If she really wanted to she could get him off of her. Again I would be so happy for her if I didn't know what he was hiding.

"I'll let you go if you say I can see you tonight" he says as he kisses her neck. Oh my god it actually looks like Meg's knees are starting to go weak. How could he do this to her?

"I can't, I have to babysit tonight." Suddenly he stopped kissing her to look her in the eyes. He looks like he has naughty but fun idea. He then gives he a sly smile before he kisses her on the check.

"I can always come by once the kid is asleep" he says keeping that devious smile. She loves it. I can see it. Hell I would love it. I have to admit I do think he is rather attractive, but he isn't his brother.

"And what happens when somebody sees you". She says like she is thinking about the idea. She is thinking about it and she loves it. Oh that poor girl. She is so into him. She has no idea he is going to hurt her.

"Not if I'm the pizza man" he says grinning as she giggles like they have some inside joke.

"Come again Clarence" she says like she doesn't know. She pretends but I can see she does know.

"Nobody will question if you have a pizza delivered. Think about it, the pizza man bringing an extra-large sausage to the babysitter" he says with a chuckle. Ill.

"Ummmm the pizza man and the babysitter, sounds kind of kinky.. I like it" she says kissing him.

"Now go on get out of here" he says letting go of her. Cas watches her walk away with a wide smile of his face. When I saw that Meg was out of ear range I quickly walked over to him. I'm just glad he didn't smack her on the ass. When I approached him, he had his back turned to me. I haven't spoken to him in a long time I hope it's not awkward.

"I don't know what's more discussing you and Meg or you and Dean?" I say like nothing has changed. It came out like no time has passed. Maybe this will easier than I thought

"Jo" He says after he turns around. He looks shocked to see it's me.

"After second thought, I think it might be you and Dean" I say trying to play it cool.

"I'm sorry" he asks tilting his head to the side. Oh now he is confused. It might work with Dean but his so called confusion doesn't work on me. I won't point it out but I will just keep going.

"Yeah I'm def going with you and Dean." I say smiling.

"Hun" He says giving me a look. His look says he doesn't know why I am talking to him. Come on he can't be this lost.

"Well yeah only because I've heard you guys do it. I never heard you and Meg do it and nor do I want to. I say giving a giggle. I am trying to seem like nothing has changed but he is staring to make it feel awkward.

"Jo I have no idea what you talking about" He says like he is getting angry. He might seem calm but I have known him long enough to know when is getting upset. I don't want to get him upset.

"Let's start over then. Hey Cas. How's it going?" I say hoping this doesn't go south. I want to have a calm conversation with him. I hope he goes with the flow.

"Fine" he says like he is lost.

"That's good…so does Dean know?" I ask getting straight to the point. Hey I sill gotta be myself. Being myself means getting straight to the point.

"Did you need something Jo?" He's dogging my question. I know dean doesn't know. If he did he would have told me but I wanted to see if he will admit it.

"I wanted to talk to you." I say like he should know.

"What about?" he says in a nasty tone? Did I miss something? Why has he changed up all of a sudden.

"About you and Meg's relationship" I say trying to make sure we don't fight. We have never fought before and I don't want to start.

"I do not see how that is any of your business" Okay maybe he does want to fight. The way he is speaking to me is actually hurtful. It's like he is saying I've got nerve.

"Meg and I are friends and Dean is my cousin." I say not caring anymore. I refuse to let him talk to me in such a disrespectful way. I have done nothing to him…kind of.

"I do not see your point" I took a deep breath before I spoke again. No matter what I am trying to be mature.

"Look Cas, Meg is my friend and I do not like what you are doing here."

"What am I doing?" He says annoyed. Let me find out Cas is really a pig. Maybe what I thought of him was wrong. I always thought he was a good guy. I am starting to think he isn't.

"You're dating her and banging my cousin. That's not right I think you should end it with one of them. I mean come on Meg is my friend and I hate to see her get caught up in the drama that is Destiel. She likes you. Nothing good can come from her not knowing the truth." I might sound like a know it all but I don't care. Its bad enough Bella is caught up in this. Look it's not like I don't like her, but I know I had to choose side. It sucks but I refuse to do that again I could have been friend with Bella but thanks to Dean I can't.

"What do you know about friends" he says disgusted. He can't be serious. I have been nothing but a great friend to him.

"Excuse me" I ask offended. I have every right to be. How dare he? I have been protecting his dirty little secret since day one.

"Meg and you are on the cheerleading team and according to Dean you called them a bunch of demon whores." That's true but I always make it clear that she is different. She is different from all the other demons.

"With personality for your information" I say trying to joke hoping it will soften him up.

"What does that even mean?" Okay tit didn't work. This conversation is getting ugly.

"Look Meg is my friend and you will not drag her though the mud." I say having enough of being nice. He wants to be nasty, then I will be nasty right back.

"Oh but it is ok for Dean to do that with Bella and you with my brother." What? What does Gabriel has do with anything.

"I do not like Bella but I like Meg. Why are you evening dating her? I thought you had feelings for Dean." I say trying to act like it's the normal thing if you know what I mean.

"Jo it is none of your business and you actually think I would listen to such a heartless bitch like you." He growls. Heartless bitch? Him calling me hurts and I feel disrespectful. How dare he call me out my name?

"Bitch! I got your bitch. I can always go tell everybody about your dirty little secret." I don'tcare if I am playing dirty. He started it. He wants to play then bring it on.

"No you wouldn't and you wanna know why… it's because you wouldn't betray Dean like that." What? Okay now I am confused.

"You think I won't" I challenged/

"I know you won't because you and him are a lot alike." We are but I don't see his point.

"And what is that supposed to mean." I have to ask.

"You two are only loyal to yourself and each other and you care nothing about anybody else's feelings." That's not true. I care about him. I still consider him a friend.

"That is ridiculous." I say as I feel myself turn red. Ithat was true I would care about Meg. Yeah I care about Dean getting hurt but if he does he deserves it. If it wasn't Meg then I wouldn't have said anything.

"Is it? Take my brother for example. I watched him try to prove himself to you over and over and over again. He loves you. He showed you so many times. I watch him look for just an ounce of hope not matter how many time I tried to talk him out of it many times but he wouldn't listen because it just knew you would love him one day. Crazy thing is you should him a small bit of hope and what did you do with it. You ripped his heart out and set it ton fire. If you care about anybody else you wouldn't have done that. You didn't even give him a reason as to why."

Oh no I misjudge him. What is wrong with me? When Gabriel was still asking me out I amused he knew but didn't care. He doesn't know. They both don't know. They have been going around thinking I just up and decided that I wanted nothing to do with them. That's not true I care about them both. Poor Gabriel. How can Dean not put him out his misery. How could I not notice? I knew Dean wouldn't say something at first but I thought he would have by now.

I feel sad and angry at the same time. I want to hit Cas but I don't. I'm not going to hit him because he doesn't know the whole story. I am going to kill Dean.

"Shut up, you don't know what you are talking about." I say. I want to spit out the truth but I don't want to cause more problems.

"Oh but I do and as for Dean he has a girlfriend why can't I. He does not love me if he did you think I would date someone else….. I wouldn't. I am tired of being second. I need to come first. One day he might love me back and put me first but until then I'm going find somebody else to."

I was about to open my mouth to argue back until I realized what Cas has just said. He wanted Dean to love him but was afraid he didn't. That only meant one thing to mw; Cast is in love with Dean but knew Dean couldn't handle it. So Cas is trying to substitute his love with another person. I looked into his eyes and saw the hurt that came from just saying Dean's name. I actually feel sorry for him. In a lot of ways he was like me. We both love someone and wanted to be with them but circumstances forbid it. I have to just let him vent his hurt and anger out on me. He need s to do this. I just happen to be the person who triggered it. He's lucky I understand.

"Castiel I'm sorry" I say softening my voice. "I realize that it's none of my business" I say lowering her head. He needs this even if he doesn't realize it now. I am his friend damn it. Whether he realizes it or not.

"It's not Jo, but I do not apologize for what I have said." He say so cold. He really hates me.

"What?" I say looking up. What does he mean by it's not.

"You have hurt my brother, hurt me, and now you are trying to tell me what to do."

"I hurt you? I ask taken back. I realize now I have hurt him but it feels more real now that he says it. He walks around like nothing bothers him.

"You and I were friends too. Then all of a sudden you can't stand me. I do not know why but unlike my brother I have not spent the last 365 days obsessing about it. Do I miss you? I did at first but then I realized what a heartless person you have become. I realized me and you were never really friends. How can we be friend? We have never spent time together alone. We were never really friends no matter how long I have known you. I realize now you are just Dean's Cousin.? He says this as he practically spits on me.

"Castiel you don't understand." I plead. It's true we have never hung out one on one but I still thought we were friends. I actually considered him to be one of my best friends.

"But I do. The Jo I kind of use to know has died. We are no longer friends of friend anymore. Now you are just like the rest of those girls in there. Evil heatless demon bitches." He say with such fire in his eyes.

"Castiel you don't know what you are talking about?" I say trying to plead for reason.

"Why don't you tell me?" he says waiting for me to respond. It would so easy to tell him the truth but I don't want to cause drama. Again I force to choose between a Novak and my blood. I hate this. Why could Dean be comfortable in the skin he is in.

"I can't" I say feeling defeated. If it ever comes down between my family and anything else, I will always choose my family. Damn my preprogramming.

"That's what I thought." He says looking at his watch. "I have to go, it was interesting talking to you but before I go two things. One, Meg and I have an open relationship. She knows about my sexuality and I am open to be with whomever. I hope that gives to comfort in wondering if your so called friend will get hurt. Second I plan to tell Dean about Meg on Sunday. Unlike him I don't like keeping secrets. So now you can stop wondering about Dean and her. I care about both of them and the situations I have with both of them allow me to be with both of them, so next time, don't rush to judgment. I can be honest. You should learn form that. " he says before walking away.

Cas did not give me a chance to respond. As he walked away o could help but feel like I was about to cry. He use to be one of my best friends and now he pretty much told my he couldn't stand my. How did things get so messed up in my life? Other than Meg I hate all my other so called friends especially Heather. I didn't like her before but once she started dating Gabriel I really starting to hate the bitch. She made it seem like it was some kind of competition. I would love to hang out Cast san company. But I do miss all of them. I even miss Bella. I miss her and her stupid perfect self. Short of telling why I keep my distance there was nothing I could do. Cas is wrong about every except the fact I am loyal to my cousin. I would never tell his secret, besides even if I wanted to it has gone on far too long. If I told no, things would be way worse. One day everything would come to light and a weight would be lifted off my shoulders. I can't tell but until then mums the word.

It sucks I can't tell the truth but maybe I can win back Cas friendship. If I win back his friendship then I can win his trust. If he trusts me then he won't question me. Once everything comes to light he will understand why I have kept my distance.  
It seems simple enough. Yeah right. I have a lot of head of me. Not to mention a lot of drama coming up. I can just see Dean's reaction now. Not to mention Meg complaining when Cas starts to kiss Dean's ass and he starts to ignore her. Why can't life be simple?

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**Okay so no destiel but tell me this didn't leave you wondering**

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	31. Chapter 31 Dean

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**Chapter 31 Dean**

So Cas lied to me…again. At this point in whatever we are I am not surprised. Lying is what we do best to each other. Let correct that. It's the second best. I don't have to tell you what number one is. When he told me about Meg I already knew. He claimed he was looking for a way to tell me but of course he was lying. I suspect he only told me because he was afraid Jo was going to tell me. It makes sense when you think about it. Crazy thing is she hasn't told me. We have talked about a lot things the past couple weeks but somehow Cas is in an open relationship with Meg never seemed to cross her mind. I guess we all keep things from each other now. Oh well. It is what it is.

When Cas finally came clean my reaction to Meg was to be expected. There was a brief moment where I was quiet. In those moments I told myself I wasn't going to scream or get upset. Turns out I even lie to myself now. I screamed, shouted and demanded that Cas stop seeing her. I didn't care we were at the playground. Luckily no one was there. I'm getting off track. After I demanded, he asked me why. I can't believe he asked me why. He should already know. Him being with her is not what we agreed to. Okay if this was a year ago, then yeah maybe I would come across as selfish, but damn it it's not. I thought we were in a better place. I thought we were happy. But I can't stop feeling like he has cheated on me.

Cas kept asking why should he stop seeing her so I simply stated she was a demon bitch and was wrong for him friend. He should know why I don't want him with her. Then he had the nerve to ask who was right for him. I can't believe he asked me that. I know we aren't forever but damn it he can do a lot better than her and I told him that. Of course tried to reason with me but it got him nowhere. After two hours of screaming at each other I had enough. I stormed out of the park and headed straight to Bella's house. According to Gabriel Cas was or is furious with me. Like I give a damn, both of those brainless assholes don't get why I am so unset and we are all supposed to be so close.

All of that happen like two weeks ago. I still refuse to speak to Cas. We do still talk at lunch during school. I did want Bella to know we had a fight. I don't need her asking questions I don't have the answers too.

So tonight is Saturday and Bella and I are going bowling, I should mention it was her idea. She did say much but the we should go bowling. I didn't know what she meant by we until we got to the bowling alley. When I got there I wanted to run. There they all were. Gabriel and Heather and Cas and Meg. I asked Bella what they were doing there and she said it was all Gabriel idea that we should have a couple's night. That son of a bitch. He needs to get out of my business. If I had known this was going to happen I would have invited Jo and her boyfriend Adam. Poor Jo she looks so lost. Soon as she saw Gabriel a sparkle appeared in her eyes. I feel bad for Adam sometimes. He is only with her because she can't be with him, but then again she claims she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. I don't know I can't keep up anymore with her.

Soon as the four of us walked over to meet the four of them tension plashed through the air. Tonight is going to be so awkward.

"Deano!" Gabriel says excited when we arrived at the two lanes that were already rented. Cas was shock to see me. I saw it in his eyes. I only looked at him for a second. I refuse to look at him no matter how much I miss him. He was wrong and I have nothing to say to him until he admits that.

"Dean I need to chat with you for a minute" Jo says pulling me by the arm. Once the two of us were out of ear shout she spoke more like yelled in a quiet whisper.

"What the hell? You knew Gabriel would be here and you invited me anyway" she says turning the same shade as her fiery red hair. Oh yeah Jo dyed her hair again. It's like the color of an apple.

"I didn't know. Bella said she wanted to go bowling and I thought it be fun if the four of us went. How was I supposed to know that he and Cas would be here." I say trying to defend myself.

"You didn't know Cas would be here?" she asks confused.

"Yes ….Don't you get it." I say hoping she figure it out.

"What?" she says lost.

"Gabriel got Bella to get me here so Castiel and I could make up" I say like it is so simple.

"Make up for what?" Oh now she is playing dumb. Seriously why do we keep doing this.

"Him and Meg" I say a little annoyed.

"Oh what you caught him with her or something" she asks trying to sound like she did not know them two were together. If she wasn't a girl I'd hit her.

"No he told me about her but he got some nerve dating her. He agreed to just be with me. He's wrong and I'm right this time. " I don't feel like arguing with her right now. I'll bring up her keeping this from me later.

"Really" she says angry as she slapped me upside the head

"HEY!" I say rubbing the back of my head. I swear sometimes she just pushes me.

"Why you always got to hit me?" I say flinching.

"Why do you have to be the biggest idiot I know?" she asks while placing her hands on her hips.

"What I do?" I'm tired of me doing something I didn't know I did.

"Do I really have to say it" she is now folding her arms. It's like she's doing the jump on it dance..

"What?" I say while scrunching my shoulders.

"Oh you are a moron." She says slapping her forehead. "Cas can't have a girlfriend and you can. Honestly what the hell is wrong with you? I honestly don't know why you have a girlfriend anyway. Do you know how big of an ass you sound right now?" She says in her oh come on voice.

"I do not sound like an ass and why do I have a girlfriend. What kind of question is that?" She got some nerve. She is my cousin. Why is she never on my side?

"You like to be with him more than your girlfriend and don't you dare deny it." She says pointing at me.

"What is your point" I ask getting annoyed

"That you are a hypocrite. If you two aren't going to be exclusive then he has every right to be whoever he wants or least fuck." She sounds so funny cursing. She is scary until she curses.

"But-" I try so say.

"No buts" she says shaking her finger in my face. "It's either you too commit to each other and we both know how taboo you think that is or you have an open dysfunctional relationship that will come back to bite you in the ass" Bite me in the ass. This will never bite me in the ass. It can only bite me in the ass if Bella finds out and she never will.

"Jo I don't think you understand?" I say pinching the bridge of my nose. The night just started and I am starting to get a headache.

"Oh but I do. You are selfish. Why should he wait around for you whenever you get a free moment? It's not fair to him." I started to say something but then I started to think about what she said. I want to argue my point but she has this way of making me feel stupid. It's usually when she is right and I am wrong.

"Your right, I'll apologize but what about you? Are you going to stay or are you going to leave since Gab is here." Jo looked over at Gabriel. He was standing there with his arm around Heather talking to the others. She smiled as he talked very animated about something before she turned to look at me with that sparkle in her eyes.

"I don't know. I could get into a lot of trouble." She says twirling her thumbs as she starts to blush. She wants to stay and this might help her and Gabriel get on the road to at least having a conversation.

I put my arm around her and said "Hey I won't tell if you don't". Jo just smiled and nodded her head as we quickly rejoined everybody else.

"About time you rejoin us." Gabriel says smiling at Jo so hard you could see every tooth in his mouth. "So Bells here had a great idea, she thinks we should do Boys vs. girls and everybody else has agreed but I think that is totally unfair."

"Why?" Jo and me both ask together.

"Because there are five girls and three guys here" he says in a matter fact tone.

"No there isn't" Jo says looking around.

"Yes there is. It's Heather, you, Bells, Meg, and Deano" he says giggling. JO giggles along with him. She better stop before he boyfriend becomes suspicious.

"Bite me dick head" I say. Yeah I say it annoyed. HE is only saying that because he knows the role I play in Cas and I sex life. I hate him for this. He is one of the reason's I don't want the world to know.

"Again with the bite me, really I'm starting to think you have a vampire fetish." Everybody started laughing to my annoyances.

"Let's just get started" I said as I picked up a ball.

As the games started everybody started having a good time. The guys won the first round and the girls won the second. We decided to go for two out of three to break the tie. Everybody appeared to be getting along. Gabriel and Jo exchanged smack talk and were hanging on to each other like they were each other's date. They made wise cracks about me and Cas that nobody got but them two excluding us. Cas and I stayed by our girlfriends sides the whole night but kept sneaking looks at each other. I can see he misses me a much as I miss him. Jo was right. Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I should talk to him. I spent the whole night trying to figure out ways to talk to him.

Finally fate came to intervene when Cas announced he had to go to the bathroom. I followed him a few minutes later. When I walked into the rest room Cas was washing his hands. I have no idea what I am going to say to him but this has gone on long enough.

"Hey Cas" I say nervously. Cas said nothing as he washed his hands. "So you aren't speaking to me?" I ask stepping behind him. He looks up into the mirror. He makes eye contact as I stare into his reflection.

"Well you did tell me not to speak to you until I was done with my demon whore." Cas dead pans as he breaks eye contact and goes for the paper towels.

"I did say that." I say as I start to sweat. He looked at me as he dried his hands. The look in his eye is strong. It's not hurtful, it's more loving. He opened his to say something but I guess he decided to just leave.

"I'm sorry" I blurted out as he went for the door knob. If I don't do this now then, who knows when I will get another chance?

"What?" he says turning around. He looks at me as silence fills the bathroom. I want to reach out and kiss him but I am afraid he will reject me. He was just as angry as I was. I have calmed down but I don't know if he has.

"I'm sorry. I acted like a jerk….again and I understand if you do not forgive me." I say it so fast that I have to catch my breath. He said nothing as he walked up to me and stopped inches away from my face. He looked into my eyes like he was searching my soul. He kept his gaze for too long. I started to feel uneasy as his beautiful blue eyes pierce into me.

"You know I hate when you do that." I say trying to move the conversation along. I want to make up but we have been gone a while. I don't want anyone to start to wonder.

"Are you really sorry Dean?" He asks still looking into my eyes. I always felt like putty whenever he looked at me like this. I don't understand why he looks at me like this. It's crazy because I am the only one. Sure he stares at other people too but it's never the same gaze.

"Yes. I just got jealous. I hate the idea of sharing you but I realize that you share me all the time and you do not complain, so I should be able to do the same." I said taking his hands in mine. "So do you forgive" I ask still holding his hands. Cas smiled before he kissed me. It was a small peck on the lips, but it made me feel good. I felt so warm and happy and I want more.

I pulled Cas by his shirt and crashed my lips into his. We stood there in the men's rooms twirling our tongues in each other mouth. He then pushed me against the wall and started attacking my neck. I let out a small moan as his hands made its way to my zipper. I wanted to be with him right then and there but I remember we were in a bowling alley's bathroom. It took every ounce of strength for me to push Cas off.

"What was that?" he asked confused while trying to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry but we cannot do this here. Meg and Bella are out there and what if someone walks in here. I say trying to catch my breath while trying to do away with the boner I was now sporting. Damn him and his charms.

"You're right, but you better leave your window open tonight because I swear to you that tonight I am showing no mercy." He growls as he grips me up. He kisses me as he starts grabbing my ass. We kiss again as he pushes his body against mine. How can I go without this. I swear he is like a drug. Just him touching me gets me high.

"I like the way that sounds but how about tomorrow since you want to go no mercy." Dean said smiling as his hands rested on Castiel's chest.

"Why can't we tonight" Castiel says as he stops kissing me and starts biting my beck. OH good he is not helping. Shivers are going up my spine. I want to drag him in a stall and let him have his way but I have to remain strong.

"I can't and neither can you, plus Jo will kill me if we wake her up again." I say pushing him off. This might be one of the hardest thing I ever done.

"Fine" he says releasing me. "Be at my house tomorrow at four." He commanded.

"Yes sir" UI say with a smile while giving him a salute..

"So sexy." Cas says pulling me in for a kiss. After another five minutes of kissing we returned to our friends. We returned when Adam was telling a story about something. We really didn't care and it didn't seem that interesting to everyone else.

"Hey look their doing Karaoke." Heather says picking up a book an attendant just placed at our station.

"Ohh let me see." Gabriel says sitting down beside her. Gabriel went through the book looking. After going through four pages he stopped and put the biggest grin on his face. "No freaking way" he says getting excited. "Jo come here. Look at this song, we should totally sing it." Jo walked over to see what he was talking about. When she saw the name of the song she started smiling hard.

"We should totally sing this." She laughs. Oh god these two. It's like a day hasn't passed and she never broke his heart. How freaking annoying.

"What song is it?" Meg asks curious. I still hate the bitch. Every time she opens her mouthmy hates gets stronger.

Jo and Gabriel looked at each other then turned and looked at everybody else before they started singing together off key.

"_Secret lovers, yeah that's what we are_

_Trying so hard to hide the way we feel_

_'Cause we both belong to someone else" _Oh good please stop.

"OH my god will you two stop." Bella asked holding her ears "You two are bloody awful" See that is why I am with her. Tell me she isn't great.

"Jealous" Gabriel teased

"No she's right please don't sing." Meg chimed in. I hate to admit but I agree with her.

"I think we sounded good right Gabriel" Jo asks while she is glowing.

"Right Jo Jo… What do you think Cassie Deano?" he says as him and Jo looked at us with the biggest eat shit grins. We looked at them furious. I can tell we both have had enough of the jokes tonight and I am ready to punch Gabriel in face. I wanted to say something but I know I can't.

"I liked it" I say hoping if I play along they will stop.

"Agreed." Castiel says with a face that showed no emotion. I love how he does that. He is so cute when he does this.

"Oh come on. Like your chick just said they're bloody awful" Adam says.

"Not to us" I say sharing a look with Castiel.

"Thank you Deano" Gabriel says giving us a look.

"Now that is settled shall we go over and sing" Jo says getting up.

"Yes we shall my candy apple haired friend." Jo just blush. Gabriel always finds a way to compare her hair to something sweet.

After a few minutes of moaning and groaning, we all decided to forget the third round of bowling and sing. We each took a turn except me. I was forbidden from singing any song that came out before 1995, so I passed. After an hour of singing everybody went their separate ways. Adam took Jo home while I took Bella. Gabriel went back to Heather's house while Castiel took Meg wherever. I home he is taking her home.

**Castiel**

Tonight took me on a rollercoaster of emotions. I felt a lot of things but right now I feel like I took a bunch of E. I took Meg back to my house so I could get rite of this feeling.

"Tonight was fun" Meg says as she flopped on the couch. Tonight was fun along with a lot of things but I am not in the mood to talk.

"Indeed, I had a great time" he says as I sit down next to her. Hopefully she won't be talkative. I need to relieve myself.

"It is so obvious that Jo and Gabriel have a thing for each other." Okay maybe I should cut this off before we start talking about them. She wants me to make up JO but I am not ready.

"You noticed that." Castiel I say as I start to touch her. I place my hand on the side of her face and I rub her ear.

"I notice a lot of things." She says smiling. She likes what I am doing.

"Really like what?" I ask as I started kissing her on the neck. Maybe we can talk dirty tonight. We don't talk dirty as much as me and Dean.

"Oh I noticed a lot of things tonight." I say as I hit her spot. "Cas" she says after she giiles.

"Yes?" I answered between kisses.

"I have something to ask you?" she says pushing me off of her. Damn it. I need to feel something like right now. My cock his hard and I need to do something about it.

"What is it?" I ask trying to keep my patience. Meg sat on her legs as she turned her whole body to face me. She rested her hands on me after I turned to face her complete.

"Meg what is it you want to ask me?" I ask as my cock starts to hurt.

"How long have you been in love with Dean?" Okay my boner is gone.

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	32. Chapter 32 Castiel

**Hello,**

**So i am only updating because people keep subscribing to me as an author but seriously if you subscribe you can leave a review. If you have any thoughts then you can tell me. I welcome all types. **

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**Chapter 32 Castiel **

"How long have you been in love with Dean?"

Meg's words pierced through me. My whole world stopped and I sat frozen. How long have I been in love with Dean? How does she know? Is she the perceptive? How does she know? Yes I am in love with Dean. I am in love with him and I have admitted to myself but I have never admitted it out loud. I have never even told Gabriel and he has never bought up the subject of love. I suppose he knows but he never has bought it up to me and he is my brother and yet she has.

Meg has bought up the subject of me loving Dean and didn't know about us. We do have a open relationship and I have told her about my sexual identity but I never told her about my other relationship. Her picking up on this is one of the reason I like her so much. I could even love her one day. Her being so perceptive and smart is one of the many reason why?

As thoughts raced through my mind and my heart beat in my throat, the room was still frozen and then it started to feel like it was spinning. I sat their feeling like I was about to puke. I breathe in out to keep everything in my stomach down. As I breathe the nausea started to pass but between my heart and my thoughts I felt like I was going into shock.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours but in reality it was only five minutes. I know this because I looked watched the clock that was located on my cable box. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Meg sat there on her heels waiting for me to speak ever so patiently. My mind went black for a moment before my thoughts returned. How long has she had her suspicions about us two. I wonder if she only asked out of curiosity or because she knew for sure. Whatever the reason my silence is answering her question.

"Cas, you still there." She says trying to bring me back but I can't say anything yet. I can't help but wonder if Dean knows how I feel. He knows me. He knows every facial expression I make and usually knows what I am thinking. Does he know that I love him and he choose to ignore it.

"I wish you say something". She says. I see she is losing her patience's. I want to say something anything. I actually want to deny it. I can't admit how I feel out loud until I know he is mine for sure. I should deny it but I know I can't. I am in love with Dean and there is no denying it especially to someone like Meg who had been so understanding and accepting of my bisexuality. I care about her, the least I can do is be honest with her.

"How?" I manage to get out in a whisper. My throat feels dry. I don't know how I am able to speak.

"How do I know?" she asks giving me a rare warm look. I just shook my head staring blankly ahead. I can't look at her I feel too much shame. "I have always had my suspicions but tonight it was too obvious to ignore."

"How?" I ask again in the same whisper.

"I see you aren't denying this?" I shook my head still unable to look at her. I want the clock instead. "I see the way you look at each other. He looks at the Brit the way he should look at you and he looks at you the way he should look at her." Does that mean he's in love with me and he loves her like a friend? I can't help but get excited at the thought but yet I feel anger slowly creeping in.

"I'm confused" I manage to get out in my regular voice. I am surprised I am able to talk right now.

"Of course you are." She giggles. Leave it to her to find something funny in the middle of a serious conversation. Why does Dean have to plague my life? If it wasn't for him I might actually be in love with her by now.

"Why aren't you angry" I ask finally able to look at her. Why isn't she? If I was in her shoes I would be angry. Would anybody else?

"I don't know. Maybe it's because I always knew deep down. I mean the way he acts whenever I was around you, the way he would sneak looks when he thought no one was looking." He sneaks looks at me. I should be happy right now but I can't help it.

"You always knew?" I ask feeling myself tilting my head.

"Yup. Looking back it is so obvious." She says as she rubs the side of my face. She looks so beautiful. How can Dean hate her? He doesn't really know her at all.

"Does that mean Bella or anybody else knows." I know it was a selfish question but after everything I need to know if Dean is still protected.

"Other than Gab and Jo who I suspect already know which totally explains her I should be careful dating you speech. I doubt anybody knows especially Bella. That chick is so blinded by trust she wouldn't dare suspect anything." She says giving me a reassuring thing.

"You suspected and Jo warned you about me?" Of course she would. She is such a bitch at times. My mother always taught me not to disrespect women that way but with the way she crushed my brother my mother just has to get forgive me. Yes Gabriel acts brave but after that party at her boyfriend house he hasn't been the same. He pretends when he is in public but all he does is sulk around the house. He refused to eat cotton candy, drink purple Kool Kid, and most recently he refuses to eat Candy Apples. That heartless bitch, the less she could have done was give him a reason. I believe if a reason is given you can eventually get over someone.

"I am not like everybody else. I pay attention, but you know this. You know I notice things and don't worry Jo did not tell me anything about the two of you. She just said I should be careful since it did not work out the first time." Her words calm me down but that does not change my feelings about Jo. She predates tonight.

"Meg I am so sorry. Do not think I do not have feelings for you." I say placing my hands on her thighs.

"It's okay. You're in love. When you love someone you can't help it no matter how much you fight it. Trust me. Sometimes you have to get hurt before you can move on." She says with tears in your eyes. I hate seeing her hurt. I never wanted to hurt her. She was always seeing her so strong and now seeing her so vulnerable makes me wish things were different.

"So what do we do now?" I ask feeling shamed. I know it's over and I don't like it. I should have never entered a relationship with her open or not. She has feelings and I was wrong for hurting her.

"We remain friends no become best friends and I help you keep your feelings in check until Dean stops swimming in denial." She says wiping her face.

"You think he loves me." I ask feeling so much hope. This is the last thing I should ask her. It's wrong of me. What was I thinking? If she hits me I will not blame her.

"I believe he does he just needs time." Her response makes me smile. It makes me think we can actually be friends after this. I put my arm around her as she snuggled close to me. "I really do care about you and like being your boyfriend. You really mean a lot to me. You were my first after all." I say as she rests her head on my chest. She might not have been my first love but she will always have a place in my heart no matter what. I believe everything happens for a reason and I always wondered what her reason was. Now I see it. I can no longer hide from my feelings. Yes I will always meet people I care about but as long as I love Dean I cannot be with them. No matter how hard I try it will always come to him.

"Same here Clarence. You were my unicorn." She says a bit sad. I hate her being sad. It's a strange emotion for her. If you knew her you would never picture he being sad. If I didn't look into her eyes I would not have believed it.

"I do not understand what a unicorn has to do with anything." I say realizing what she has said.

"Of course" she laughs of course….. "So tell me everything" she says still resting her body on mine.

"Tell you what?" I ask as I watch the clock again.

"About you and Dean, I want to know about your relationship. Have you two ever done it? Have you two actually acknowledge there is something between you two. I want to know it all and don't worry it will be our little secret. " She says as I still hold her. It feels like she does want to let go and in a way neither do I but I know I have to.

I ended up telling her everything. Starting from the time we first kissed up until tonight in the bowling alley. We sat there for a while talking. She stopped me to give me comments and concerns and by the end of it she had a change of heart. She started thinking Dean was in love with me to knowing he was but he was just a jerk. She huge me and told me that our relationship was the only thing she had faith in. That says a lot. I know for a fact Meg doesn't believe in much. Her believing in us says a lot. Maybe I should have more faith in us. I'll admit was starting to find a way to give up but now I can't. Meg having faith won't let me.

After a couple hours I drove her home. Tonight might have been what I expected but it turned out for the best. We rode in a comfortable silence. I am sad it's over but I am excited what the future might bring. I stole glances at her while we drove. She looked deep in thought. She didn't say anything until we pulled up to her house.

"Castiel?" she says as we sit in my car in front of her house. "You said you sneak though Dean's window at night?" She says like she is recalling something.

"Yes I do but I shall not tonight if that is what you are asking." I want to but between him telling to wait and the conversation I have just had with her I am drained. I couldn't I if wanted to anymore. I just want to sleep. Dean is coming over to morrow I need to be ready for him. The sooner I get to sleep the sooner I can get my mind right.

"No I was wondering. Did Gabriel ever sneak though Jo's window?"

"Not that I am aware of." Soon as I say that her face looks like she has completed a thousand piece puzzle.

"You sure?" She says looking at me.

"Her room is right next to Dean's. He would have to climb the same tree to get into hers and I have never noticed him." I say not really sure why he is bringing her up. It is no secret to her I am not her biggest fan. Jo warned her about me but I admit I did warn Meg about her. I told her she is secretive and she will end their friendship without notice and that she should trust her. One minutes she will be friendly and the next she wil be a total bitch.

"Are you sure?" she asks again. Yeah I am sure. If Gabriel had he would have bragged to me by now. Hell soon as he got home he would have woken me up to just tell me.

"Why do you ask?" I ask looking at her. I am starting to wonder why she is bringing them up.

"Well" she says taking a deep breathe. She pauses for a minute while she gets her thoughts together. "When Jo started hanging with us I thought it was weird especially since they were like bffs but once we became close she told me she didn't want anything to do with him. I thought at first he should her he was the pig I thought him to be. Then after of a couple weeks of him trying to get her attention I started asking questions. I wonder what he did and why she wanted nothing to do with him and what would it take for her to forgive him. I mean I actually started feeling bad for him. When I asked her she said he was someone she had to avoid because it would be a waste of time." Okay she is pretty much saying what I already know. What is her point? Is she trying to make so elaborate excuse for her? I know they're friends but it won't work on me.

"You aren't making any sense." I like talking to Meg. I enjoyed our talk tonight but I am now starting to want to just be alone. I need to think before I see Dean tomorrow.

"That's what I thought, but I decided to leave it alone. I can respect her privacy but then I noticed this angel necklace she wears all the time and I asked her about it." Oh that necklace. Gabriel started looking for it at Halloween. He wanted to get her something great that Christmas and wanted to start early. I spent so many days going to malls all over the state for him until we settle on it. I was so happy. The minute he saw it he knew it was for her. Until this day she does know how much time or money he spent on it.

"Gabriel gave her that necklace." I say as I debate I should ask how she noticed the necklace. I see her all the time but I never notice the necklace. I know she gave it back to him over the summer but even before that I never notice. IT's curious as to why she wears it when she doesn't want Gabriel.

"I know that's what she told me. So I asked her why she still wears it if she wants nothing to do with him."

"What did she say?" I ask starting to feel a little wary. Something is starting to not seem right.

"Something about she likes the necklace but not him, but I didn't buy it. So to make a long story short after a few more conversations filled with road blocks finally she told me her parents said she wasn't allowed to see Gabriel because the neighbor saw him sneaking into her room one night by way of tree."

Gabriel climbed through her window by way of tree. He has never done that, but I have done climbed though Dean's window by way of tree. My eyes popped out of my head. Jo's behavior finally makes since. Why she unexpectedly stopped talking to Gabriel and to me. Why she was so angry at Dean. She was covering for me and Dean. Someone saw me and instead of pointing the finger, she took the blame to protect us. She knew if Dean was exposed then everything would be over between us. She was trying to help us this whole time.

Suddenly I felt overcome with guilt. I have been so mean to her the last time we really talked. I said so many hurtful things and she still held on to our secret. She sacrificed her happiness so we could sneak around. I think have found a new found respect for her. I have to talk to her, apologize, set things right.

Wait a minute, I get why she never told her parents but didn't we know? She could have told us. Did Dean know this whole time? Why hasn't he said anything? Should I confront him about it? Things with us are kind of shaky right now. If I ask him would he just cover it up? I can't take him lying to me again right now. Knowing what I know how is I going to tell Gabriel? Should I even tell him? Gabriel still has feelings for her but he has a girlfriend now and was happy. I think. There is also the fact her parents still wouldn't let them be together unless someone came clean. I am lost. What should I do? Should I do something or pretend like nothing has happen and just try to rebuild without bring up the past. I do it all the time with Dean it can't be that hard with her. Still don't know if I can keep this from my brother. What do I do? If I tell my brother I see more problems than solutions.

Okay I really need to sleep on a lot of things. Let me wrap things up here and the I will go home and think about what I should do next.

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**Tell me what you think. I go back to work tomorrow so i might forget to update for a while if there are no reviews.**


	33. Chapter 33 Dean

**Chapter 33 Dean **

**Hello, thanks Mimi for the review. I thought you gave up on this story. Thank you to all who have read it so far.**

**Here is the next chapter make sure you review. I am working on the next chapter so i might update later tonight. I am not sure. It depends on how tired i get.**

**btw this a short chapter**

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Saturday Cas and made up from yet another fight. Sunday we spent all day making up. Monday I realized he left two hickies on me plus some scratches on my back. So I spent the last two days trying to hide them from my girlfriend. Today which is Thursday she saw them and we broke up. Yes we broke up and I am not hurt or upset. Breaking up with her actually feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I actually feel free. I actually feel hopeful.

I feel hopeful and I owe that to Cas. For the first time since I started discovering there was something different about me I don't feel sacred. I feel like breaking up with her will make things different for us. I might not be ready to announce it to the world but I think I might be ready to just be with him. Just the thought makes me happy and warm and ready.

Soon as me and Bella broke up I head straight for Cas house. It's crazy actually. I was thinking about him but I thought I was driving to work. I look up and I realize I was two blocks away from his house. It funny all these things I am feeling I no longer feel like I need to suppress. I am ready to face them ready to show him that I can be what he deserves.

I parked outside his house when I got an idea. My aunt and Uncle are going on one of their oh so secretive hunting trips again and my house will be empty. Jo will be there but she doesn't count. Plus I will need her help to pull off what I have in mind. I'm going to get in trouble on Monday but ti will be worth it. I am going to have to blow off work this weekend but like I said I don't care.

I let myself in his house. Gabriel and Cas really need to start locking their doors more. I walked straight into his room to find him sitting Indian style surrounded by a bunch of booklets. Cas sat there staring at each one intensely like he was contemplating the meaning of life. I love it when he does shit like this. It is so cute.

"Hey Cas." I said as I slid myself behind him and wrapping my hands around his waist.

"Hello Dean." He says picking up a booklet. He stares at the booklet as I rest my body against his.

"What's this" I ask after kissing him on the cheek.

"It's a booklet Dean, see" he says holding it up so I could get a better look at it. I read the words across the front. I was shocked when I saw "New York University" written across the front. I then scanned the floor and saw a bunch of colleges that said The University of Southern California, Northwestern, Cornell, University of Penn. He's looking at colleges and not just any colleges, he's looking at ones that are far away from here.

"College Cas. You're looking at colleges already" I ask trying to find a way to ask about us. I know he is smart enough to go anywhere he wants but I guess I am now hoping and have always hoped we go to college together, As friends or as whatever.

"Yes I am. Junior Year is half way through so I figured I get a head start researching where to go."

"But why all of these schools. " I ask as I let go of him and move to his side. HE looks down and is quiet for a moment. I see he is really thinking about his answer.

"Why not Dean?" he says unable to look at me.

"I mean come on Cas I really want to know why you are looking at schools so far away."

"Dean I rather not talk about it now." He says still not looking at me. I know he can feel me staring at him. I know he is hiding something.

"Fine, then let's talk about NYU" I say dropping it for the second. I am a bit disappointed. Coming here is not going how I expected it to go.

"I'm keeping my options open. I do not want to go to a local school like Balthazar and Gabriel." He says still not looking at me.

"I still can't believe Gabriel go into college." I say trying to cut the tension that was building between us.

"I am not surprised. Gabriel was always a good student. It is part of the deal we made with my father."

"I know about the deal Cas." I say trying to figure out a way to redirect the conversation. "But what I don't know is why you are choosing schools so far away and some of these I can't even get into to. I mean I have good grades but damn Cas."

"Dean we are getting along. I don't want to ruin it by having this conversation." He says like I am annoying him.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Because I don't want to attend college with you and your girlfriend." He says like it took a lot out of him. He stays quiet for a minute before he finally looks me in the eyes. Looking him in the eye I see how much me being with her has affected him over the years. He looks like he has held in so much pain for so long. How could I not see it?

"You don't have too." I say trying to tell him the good news.

"Oh I don't Dean." He says looking me in the eyes. He actually looks like he is about to cry. I have to go through high with you two."

"No-"

"Please don't make any excuses."

"Okay, so what are you saying? Do you not want to be with me anymore."

"That's not what I am saying Dean. I just am…. I just am starting to wonder how long it will be the three of us."

"Cas-" I say trying to tell him again. I see how much this is hurting him but he cuts me off again.

"Forget it Dean. I don't want to talk about it." He says fixing his face to give me that million dollar smile. " So where do you want to go to college?" he asking looking at the booklets around him.

"Anywhere you go" I say seeing my opening. Cas actually froze for minute. It's like he had to make sure he heard me right. He turned his body around to so we were face to face. He sat on his heels looking into my eyes.

"I told you about looking at me like that." I say actually loving his gaze. I usually feel uneasy but today I welcome it..

"Did I hear you right Dean? You want to go to college with me?" he says so happy.

"Yeah you are my best friend and my boyfriend. Why wouldn't I want to follow you?" I say smiling back at him. I move my face close to his. I stay a few inches apart wanting himt o make the first move.

"What about Bella?" I knew he was going to ask about her. It's the first time I ever wanted him to bring her up.

"Cas we broke up" I say as I hold his hands..

"Really" He says. I am trying to read him but his face is too neutral for me.

"Yeah we did, crazy right. I mean what's going on with the chicks in our lives. Meg dumps you. I break up with Bella." I say rubbing the back of his neck. Truth is she dumped me but I don't think he needs to know everything just the bottom line. Will it really make a differences if I tell him or not it was her choose to end things and not mine.

"So is there a chance for you two to get back together." He ask looking away. I linked my fingers with his I climbed into his lap. Cas welcomed me as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked into his eyes as I thought about our break up. I admit I did ask her to reconsider but once she made it clear she would hear me out I realize it was for the best.

"Dean?" Cas says looking at me.

"Castiel. Me and her are never ever getting back together. " I say before he pulls me into a passionate kiss.

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**So what do you think?**

**Do you see hope for our boys.**

**What do you think about Dean's change of heart. Just when you think all is good there is another secret. Wtf i know **

**Spoilers next chapter might get steamy**

**Review **


	34. Chapter 34 Cas

**Chapter 34 Castiel**

**Hello here is the next chapter for couple days. I am off Tuesday and Thursday. SO if you want a next chapter review and i will try to update before next week. Hell i might be to tired and annoyed to update on my days off **

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I have never been happier. I finally have Dean to myself. We have spent every day together for the last three weeks together. I am so glad Bella is now out of the picture. She even stopped having lunch with us. I do feel bad for her. I don't think she has any other friends. I think she has become what I was afraid of. I have spent so much time with Dean. I never really made any new friends and now I fear Bella have come to the same fate I feared I would. She is alone and had nobody. I really feel bad for her though. If it had happen to me I would still have my brother but she has no one. That poor girl. I feel bad for her but at the same time I don't care. Dean is mine and every time I at him I realize he is all mine and then I would put her out of my mind.

It's been three weeks since he has broken up with her and I see he has been trying. He wanted me to spend the weekend with him at his place but that got canceled. That was when he first told me he broken up with her. Part of me told me he was making excuses when he told me his aunt and uncle canceled their hunting trip but he wasn't. Since his family stayed home he stayed at my house. It was great. It's weird having him stay with me all weekend when it isn't summer but I am slowly getting used to it. He is mine and he has made sure to remind me of that. I love him and I think he is close to telling me that.

That was then and now well now I have never been in a good mood. Me and Dean have plan to spend the whole weekend together uninterrupted. Ellen and Bobby finally went on one of their hunting trip and gave to make things better Bobby gave Dean the weekend off from work. Things are certainly looking up. I spent the entire day fantasying about all the things we can do to each other. Of course I went through school by myself. I had Gabriel who hasn't been taking school seriously since he got accepted into college and put down a deposit. Never the less he was still there. He wanted perfect attendance. OH and I had Jo. We aren't really on the best of terms but she still talk to me since we have classes together. I didn't have Dean all day though. Dean had skipped class after lunch. He told me to meet him at his house later on that day. After that I couldn't get out of school fast enough when the final bell rang. When I left school I drove straight home to get my overnight bag that I packed the night before and raced over to Dean's house. I drove so fast I swore I got a speeding ticket when I went through a red light but I don't care if the traffic camera caught me or not. I'd deal with it later. Plus I have the money.

As soon as I got to Dean's house I raced through the door. Jo of course was there and she dashed all hopes I had been having. Soon as I tried to go upstairs she stopped me in my tracks.

"Cas I don't think you should go up there" Jo says blocking my way up the stairs. Why is she doing this?

"Why? Are your parents still home?" I ask looking around. I'll give Dean the benefit of the doubt. Things have never been better why question it now.

"No" she says trying to redirect me to the couch. Jo would never do this. She never has. Jo would only do this if Dean was trying to hide something. I have had a small amount of doubt in the back of my mind but I have been successful at pushing it out.

"Maybe we should sit down and wait for Dean to come downstairs." She says pushing me into the living room.

"We?" Castiel I say irritated. Tension between me and Jo had decreased but we still weren't friends again. I am going to fix that I just haven't figured how.

"Yeah" she says acting weird

"Why Jo?" I ask looking at her. Jo searches her mind for an excuse but she couldn't come up with an excuse. "Does Dean have somebody up there? Is Bella here?" I ask feeling my chest tighten.

"Cas calm down." She says touching me. I guess she sees me getting upset.

"Why is she up there?" I growled. I am starting to get pissed. Things were starting to look uo and now they look like it's about to worse.

"I don't think you misunderstand." She says trying to get me to sit down. Now she is starting to look pissed. I guess Dean asked her to play decoy. If that's the case I can't be mad at her I would do the same for my brothers. "Then why don't you tell me. You think I can't tell when you are covering for him. You do it all the time." I say looking down at her.

"Just sit down and wait for Dean. He will explain when he comes down." She says pointing to the couch.

"He's going to cancel. Isn't he" I say as my disappointment grew.

"Why would I do that?" Dean says appearing in the room.

"Dean." I say turning around to look at him standing at the bottom of stairs. Seeing him standing there makes all the bad feeling I was feeling go away.

"You should have more faith in me." Dean says as he walks up to me.

"I'm sorry. I started to think the worse since Jo was acting like a decoy." I admit. We are only at the beginning at out new start. I refuse to hide stuff anymore.

"You were early and I wasn't quite ready for you yet." He says kissing me. His kiss makes me feel so safe.

"I'm sorry." I say feeling ashamed.

"Don't be. I get it. I have disappointed you in the past." Dean says holding my face.

"Let's forget about the past." I say noticing something in Dean's hands. "What's that?" I ask pointing to it. Dean said nothing as he held it up and smiled.

"Its ear plugs" he says with a grin.

"Why do you have ear plugs? Do I snore or something?" I ask feeling myself tilting my head.

"It's for me." Jo says. I turn and realize she is still standing there watching us.

"Why do you require ear plugs?" I ask not sure really knowing why.

"So I can sleep tonight." She says taking them from Dean and disappearing into the kitchen.

Dean took my hands in his and led me up the stairs. Once we were in front of Dean's door we stopped. He asked me to close my eyes before we went in. I closed my eyes rusting him for once. Once Dean made sure I couldn't see a thing he lead me inside the room. Once I opened my eyes I was shocked. White and blue candles were lit everywhere. Rose petals lay thrown across the bed, chocolate covered strawberries arranged in a circle on a silver plate sat on Dean's desk. A bottle of whisky sat next to the strawberries with two glasses on each side of the bottle. At first sight I felt my whole body tingle.

"You did all of this for me?" I ask overcome with love and joy.

"Yes I did." Dean says standing behind him. After a I had a minute to take it all in, he wrapped his arms around me. He then rested his body against mine.

"This is such a chick flick moment Dean." I say loving the way Dean felt wrapped around my body.

"I know but for you I don't care." Dean says before kissing him on the back of my neck. "Why don't you have a seat on the bed?" he says before I felt my mind switch to auto pilot as I walked to the bed to sit on the edge. I made sure not to sit on any of the petals. I want Dean's body to be the first to feel them. Dean pulled the chair from his desk to sit in front of me. I started to say something but I stopped I noticed a gift box in his hand.

"Here" He says. He feels a bit cheesy but it's okay. I actually like. It's different and different is what I have been looking from him.

"What is it?" I ask taking it in my hands.

"Open it" Dean says staring at the rectangle black velvet box. I wasted no time in opening it. I felt my eyes go wide and sparkle as I laid eyes on the silver head watch with black leather straps.

"Wow this is such a beautiful watch Dean." I say smiling. It really is and I can't believe he bought me such a gift. I wonder how long it took him to save up for it.

"Read the back." Dean says smiling back. I turned it over and my heart melted when I saw the words engraved on the back.

"Don't Ever Change." I read out loud. He never wants me to change. If he never wants me I never will.

"Exactly pleased don't ever change." He says before I grab the back of his head and kissed him with so much passion. I proceeded to pull Dean on top of me when Deans stopped me.

"Wait there is something I got to say." Dean says like he is trying to gather his thought.. "I want you know it's just me and you. I'm with you and only you, no more Bella. I Promise. I promise to only be with you. I am not ready to go public but one day I will. I just need time. Until that that day I promise to be only be with you. That's if you will have me and once that day comes you will be the one by my side. I promise it will be you and nobody else. He say so heart felt before giving me the hand signal for scouts honor. How can I not believe him. He was once a boy scout.

"Good….Now no more talking." I said as I pull Dean on top of me. As our lips touched, hands began to roam. My hands made their way down the side of Dean's body to rest on his buttocks. Dean hands were behind my head as I flipped us over to put me on top. My lips moved from Dean's mouth to the side of his neck. I carefully traced every part of Dean's skin making sure to pay extra attention to the spots I knew he liked. I worked my way over to his ear. "Tonight I'm going to take good care of you." I say in a low whisper before licking his ear.

Dean let out a soft moan as his groin as began to grow. I slowly undressed us. Tonight is special and I want to take my time. I have Dean lying on his back in his birthday suit spread eagle. I stopped and took a mental picture of Dean spared out over the bed. I slowing started planting small kisses all over his body. Inch by inch I worked my way down leaving a glistening trail of salvia. Dean moans out as my blood begins to boil.

I stopped once I got to Dean's erected member. I blew warm air over the tip causing chills to race threw Dean's body. I gripped Dean's thighs pushing them all the way back. I blew into Dean's hole causing him to shift. I slowly darted my tongue deep inside of him. I have never done this but it just feels like something I have to do. Dean starting moaning loudly as my tongue started to go in and out. I know he has never felt anything like this. I hope I am bringing him raw pleasure.

"CAssssss" Dean moan as my kitten like tongue slide out and up to his balls. "Pleaseee" he begged as I swallowed him whole. I bobbed my head up and down. I sucked as hard as I could. I feel Dean ready toexplodeI know all the telltale signs of Dean cuming so I stopped need him to last a little longer.

"Oh no you don't." I say as I place my body on top of his. I then captured his lips. Our tongues wrestled as Dean thrust his hips upward telling me he needed more.

I reached over to Dean's night stand to where I knew he stashed his lube. I took it out and poured a generous amount on my fingers. I went to work prepping Dean and making sure he was slicked up. I slowly entered Dean knowing that it would drive him crazy. Once I was all the way in I hit Dean's sweet spot causing him to moan so loud I swear Jo could hear him downstairs.

"Oh God." Dean says as I pulled out and slam back in ever so gentle. We laid on top of each other rocking back and forth looking into each other's eyes. It was the first time we ever made love like this. It felt so good and pure. Muffled moans and the sound of kissing was all that was heard as we became undone. Soon both of us reached our climax together calling out each other's name. We feel asleep soon after. It was different than before. Dean layed in the same position all night in my arms.

I woke up early the following morning. When I looked at the clock next to the bed it read a 9:15. He looked over to Dean who was still sleeping. I rolled him over on his back. I laid him on his stomach watching him sleep. His lips stuck out in a small pout. I sat up smiling to myself. I can't help but think how delicious and sexy he looks sleeping. I wanted to wake him up and ask for another round but then I thought maybe I should wake him up with breakfast in bed.

I crept my way out of the bedroom and made my way down the backstairs. I walked into to kitchen to see Jo dancing around in a fluffy pink bathroom to Katy Perry's Teenage Dream I laughed as I watched her sing off key into a spoon.

"Good Morning Joanna." I say as I turned the radio down.

"Oh my god!" she says jumping while holding her chest. I miss her. I need to make up with her.

"Damn girl you got some moves." I say smiling. Maybe this will help us make up. I have been putting it off for so long. Now I have the time to do it. It's just us. Why should I do it?

"Call me Joanna again and you might not make it through the weekend." She says as she took two cups out the cabinet to pour coffee.

"Someone is cranky this morning." I say sitting down.

"Not all of us got some last night." She says pouring us both a cup of coffee before walking over to where I was sitting.

"I take it the ear plugs didn't work." I say taking the cup out of her hand.

"They helped but I still could hear something's." She says with a disgusted look on her face. It's like nothing has changed. My mother use to say true friends can go days without talking and when they talked again nothing has changed.

"Sorry about that." I say taking a sip.

"So I take it Dean is still asleep" She says with a sly smile.

"Yeah I wore him out." I say rubbing my nails on my shirt.

"Ill." She say sticking her fingers in her mouth. " But good boy. I have been waiting for this for a long time. You have to understand that." She says looking at me. Her saying this is telling me she wants to make up still.

"I do and he is still sleep so I think I'll make him breakfast in bed." I say as I get to find the cereal. Dean favorite breakfast meal is Luck Charms and that is what I am going to make him.

"How sweet. Can you make some for me?" she asks giving me a small pout. Of course I will pour her a bowl of cereal.

"Yeah sure." I as I change my mind from cereal to eggs and bacoon. He always eats cereal maybe u should make something different.

As I started cooking breakfast Dean joined me and Jo in the kitchen. The three of us sat there laughing and eating breakfast like old times when there was a knock at the back door.

"Bella." Jo says as she opened the door. What the fuck is she doing here? They Broke up. There is no reason for her to be here.

"Hello Jo" she says walking into the kitchen like she owned the place. Me and Dean stopped eating mid chew as we looked at her. She stood there looking uncomfortable playing with her hands. She could barely look Dean in the eye as she spoke.

"Dean may I have a word." She says almost stuttering. There is nothing left between them. What do they have to talk about? She just needs to go away.

"About what." He says dryly. I look at him and I see he doesn't want her there as much as I don't. I wish he would be rude and tell her to get lost.

"I think we should talk in private." She says looking at him. Here it is. She wants him back. I was afraid this would happen. If last night didn't happen I would be afraid Dean would take her back.

"We have nothing to talk about." He says he takes a bite of the toast I made him.

"I think we do. Can we please go to your room and talk?" She begs. Why doesn't she just give it up. Dean broke up with her. Why would she embarrass herself?

"NO. Whatever you have to say you can say in front of everybody." He says crossing his arms. Good he is sending her away but I would like it if he is more frank.

"You sure about that Dean?" Bella says playing with her hands while she looks around.

"Will you just spit it out?" He says angry. He looks at me and I give him a look telling him I want her gone.

"Fine: she says taking a deep breathe.

She kept taking deep breathe before she gathered her thoughts. She looked at Jo who was standing behind her, then over to me. I was trying to hide my discomfort. We still have to keep us a secret, She then looked Dean in eye and said "I'm pregnant."

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**So i will not say anything but review and i will tell what happens next. Please don't be mad?**

**again idk who's pov it will told from. I'm torn between Jo or Cas. I'm leaning towards Cas though**

**but whoever pov it's told it will be only be told thanks to reviews **

**okay i lied but that is the theme of this story Bella is pregnant. Just when Dean was starting to come around. What is going to happen now. Review and let me know what you think. i shall return next week i think **


	35. Chapter 35 Dean

**Chapter 35 Castiel**

**hello ALL. thank YOU FOR READING AND THAN YOU TO THE TWO GUET WHO REVEIWED. How bad do you feel for Cas. I know i feel pretty dame awful for him. Here is the next chapter? Make sure you tell me what you think?**

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Can I ask you a question? Let's say you always had an attraction to both sexes. You have always known and have always been okay with it because your mother has taught you to embrace who you are. You move around from town to town because your father is in the military. You make friends but you never get to close because you know eventually you have to leave. Then one day you move to some small town. You get through your first day of school with nothing special happening. Then one day you collide with a certain hazel eyed boy. Since the first time you look into his eyes something is awaken in you and because you are a shy kid you don't tell him how cute you think he is or that he makes him feel warm. Instead you become best friends with him and become okay knowing he doesn't feel the same way. You know he will never feel the same way because he isn't attracted to boys. You go the next few years being best friends while hating every second of him not knowing he has a crush. Then one summer he kisses you and everything you thought you knew has totally changed. Next thing you know you spend the next three years in relationship that has a lot of lows but all the good times make up for it. Just when you are about to give up the one thing you always imagined but thought would never happens happen. He becomes yours. You spend the next couple weeks in such bliss. You feel like you are flying. You feel like nothing can bring you down. Just when you think things couldn't get any better you have the best night of your life. Just then the elevation increases. Everything is right and nothing can go wrong. You have a great morning together then the person you have been sharing him with shows up and announces she's pregnant. She's pregnant and gets up to leave with her. HE says nothing to you and hasn't said anything to you in two weeks. You try to reach out to him but your calls and texts go answered. What do you do?

What do I do? That is what I have been asking myself. What do I do now? No matter how much I would like to deny it things will never be the same. Things have never been this bad. I have no idea what to do? I still see Dean at school but he won't even acknowledge me. Whenever I try to approach him he quickly walks away. I understand he is having a baby but he least he could is just talk to me. I thought we friends first. The worst part is he stop eating lunch with me. Just when Jo rejoined us and Meg started sitting with us. He and Bella decide to east lunch at another table. I could take them eating together looking happy no more. So I started eating lunch in the library. We aren't supposed to do this but nobody really says anything.

The library has become my new safe haven. I eat in the back where nobody can see me. The silence which I never mind is starting to slowly drown me. When it is too quiet my thoughts start to become too loud. No matter how much they drive me insane it feels much better than seeing the two of them together. Whenever I see them it feels like I can't breathe and I start to think that it is really the end of us. I know nothing good can come from situations like ours but I deep down I thought I never lose him. I can't lose him. What am I supposed to do without him in my life? Father in heaven please delivery me from this pain. Help me find a way.

"You look like hell." a female voice says. I had my face buried in a book when I heard the familiar voice. I look up to find Jo standing there with a brown paper bag in one hand and books in the other. What is she doing here? I know that we are on better terms but we aren't back to how we use to be.

"Hello to you too Jo." I say dryly. Jo said nothing as she sat down across from me. I said nothing As I continued to read my book. She can sit here but I reuse to talk. What can she say? She is related to Dean and at the end of the day she will take his side.

"What you reading?" she asked as she unpacks her lunch. I guess the whole no talking thing is going out the window.

"Double Cross. By James Patterson" I say not looking at her. Maybe if I keep my answers short then she will get the hint.

"Never heard of it." She says taking a bite of her sandwich. "Is it good?" she says with a mouth full of food. I see her and Dean have the same mannerisms

"Yes." I say giving her tone telling her I don't want to talk.

"What's it about?" I put my book down in annoyance and looked at her. I studied her face trying to figure out what she wanted. "Stop looking at me like that. It's a bit creepy." She says opening a bag of chips. "You know I see what Dean means." Okay now she goes and says his name. I managed to go a whole five minutes without thinking about him. Uggg she is starting to piss me off.

I know my face went pale at the sound of his name. A panic starts to form in my chest. At this moment I want to get up and leave school. I started to get up but my body started to feel weak. My heart is beating too fast.

"You don't look so good." She says most likely noticing the dark circles under my eyes. "You been sleeping" she asks concerned. Yeah she noticed them and no I haven't been sleeping. I hate falling asleep now. All I do is dream of him and then I wake up and realize that the wonderful dream I had wasn't real. That's the worse feeling in the world.

"I'm fine." I lied. I'm tired of that question. Meg and Gabriel have both ask me that question. Can't they tell for once I don't want to talk about it. What am I going to say? That I have been feeling low since he walked out with her. That I lost the person I am in love with. I don't know how to find a way in this tunnel of darkness. Should I tell them I barely eat or I hate falling asleep? I spend hours in bed trying to figure out how to get control of my emotions. What do you say to that? There is nothing they can say to make me feel better.

I have gone over everything me and Dean have done in the last three years trying to pinpoint the moment I fell in love. I can't find anything that points to that moment. I have always been in love with him. Some nights I feel like crying for being so stupid. Anybody could see it was doomed from the start. I refuse to talk about it. There is no pint so I will keep everything inside. Eventually it will disappear. Yes my heart often feels tights making it hard for me to breathe, but that will pass.

There are some nights when I have a bad dream. It's always the same dream. It's Bella revealing she was pregnant and Dean leaving with her. I then dream of them married with two or three children. In my dream I would always try and talk to Dean but he always says the same thing. He says he loves her and never did he love me. He then walks away and I spend the rest of my dream screaming his name until I woke up covered in sweat. Those are the nights Gabriel would come into my room and sleep next to me. It might sound weird but he said it was his way of watching over me.

"Cas you ok?" Jo asks as I stare into space.

"I'm fine." I say as I pick my book back up. It was getting to the good part maybe I can get lost in it again. Maybe I Can forget about him.

"You sure about that?" She asks drinking some of her juice. No I am not okay.. but there is nothing she can do that will help.

"What is it that you want Jo?" I ask giving up on reading. I know her. She is fishing for something it has something to do with Dean but I can't figure out exactly what.

"I just want to know if you are ok." She says giving me a warm smile. I see what my brother means. Her smile can give you hope, but there is no hope. There is nothing I can do about a baby. It's a baby that changes everything.

"Why? Did Gabriel or Meg put you up to this?" I say sitting back on my chair while folding my arms. Jo stopped eating her lunch and leaned forward. She folded both arms on the table and looked at me. We engaged in a staring contest waiting for the other to speak first.

"I can do this all day." I say hoping she breaks.

"So can I." she says giving a complacent smile.

"So you want to tell me what you want or are we going to sit here and make small talk like there aren't at least three purple elephants in the room." Jo leaned back in her chair. She gazed upon my worn out face. Her eyes tell me that her heart broke for me. Funny I feel the same way about her at times.

"I'm just trying to be a friend." She says locking her eyes with me.

"Why?" I am lost here. Last time we really talk I was a jerk and yet she is still trying to be here for me. She is a great girl. I see why my brother is so taken with her.

"You've been hiding in here for like a week, not to mention you look like shit. I'm guessing you haven't talked to anybody about what's going on, not Meg not Gabriel."

"Who asked you to talk to me?" I still think someone put her up to this. She has been eating lunch with us and her and Gabriel are starting to restart whatever they had. Yes they haven't spent one on one time but that is how it started the first time.

"No one." She says looking into my eyes.

"Then why are you sitting here talking to me."

"I'm trying to be a friend. You look like you could use one." She says shrugging her shoulder. Why is she being so nonchalant. I admit it's a change from the petty I have seen in the other's eyes.

"You petty me"

"No" she says still looking into my eyes. I admit she has beautiful brown eyes. They are so warm. As I look into those glowing warm eyes all I can see is concern and sincerity in them. She only wants to help. I am so glad she does. I am tired of people feeling sorry for myself.

"We have barely talked in almost two years." I say leaning forward. It's true we haven't. Why of all people would she be the one who helped me.

"I know, but I think it's time we start." She says with another sincere smile. I can't help but feel good for the first time in weeks. She is giving me hope. Maybe having someone to lean on can help me get over Dean. The only thing she is related to him.

"You and I aren't so different." I say realizing what we have in common.

"How?" she says putting an elbow on the table to lean on her hand in her hand. It's cute when she does that.

"Dean has caused us both heartache." I say like it's clear as day.

"You do know he is my blood cousin right. I mean his mom and my dad are brother and sister." She says sitting back. I think I grossed her out a little. It's funny actually. Wow I actually find something funny thanks to her.

"I know that Jo. I'm saying he both played a role in our heartache." I say looking down at ,y hands.

"Castiel what in god's name are you talking about?" she asks giving me a confused look. Okay I guess it's now or never. If we are truly about to become friends again, I guess it's time to clear the air. It's time I lay the past to rest. At least with her.

"I know that your neighbor saw me come out Dean's window and thought I was Gabriel and was coming from your room." I say feeling guilt. It's not a pleasant feeling but it's better what I have been feeling.

"What! How? Who told you? Was it Dean?" she asks surprised. I guess this was one secret she wanted to take to the grave.

"That doesn't matter, all that matters is that I have known for a little bit now and I never got around to apologizing." I say reaching for her hand. Jo smiled as she connected her hand with mine. This is nice. It's nice to have something's work out a little easier than I am use to.

"You owe me nothing." She says looking down then back at me. She is so wrong? I have a feeling she is the reason Dean has come out the blue admitting he was wrong. I

"I do too. I have said some pretty messed up things to you and all you were doing was protecting a stupid secret. I told you we weren't really friends when you have always been a great friend to me."

"Look" she says looking away then liking at me again. "It's true what you said about us. We never have hung out one on one. I never realized until you said something but I think that is going to change. We never really were real friends." She says squeezing my hand.

"We have always been real friends. Why else would you try to protect us I was the one who was wrong. I judge you without knowing the truth. I said some hurtful things to you and behind your back."

"Don't even say that. You had no idea. All you knew was I up and trampled on your brothers heart and cut ties with you all because of some beef I had with my stupid ass cousin. I never gave an explanation nor did I ever try." That is true but I should have known she had a reason. It was totally out of character for her. I should really tell Gabriel. I feel bad about keeping this from him. Poor guy still wonders why even though he tries to hide it.

"But all that could have been avoided if I never started sneaking into your house." Everything could have been avoided if I just haven't climbed through his window that first night.

"It all could have been avoided if my cousin would have just accepted who he was and came out. Instead he wants to be a coward and deny his feelings and in doing so he not only got himself caught up in some serious shit, but he dragged all of us along even though two of them are ignorant to what has happen." I couldn't say anything. I can't help but feel she is right. All of this could have been avoid if I just pushed Dean a little harder. If I did this wouldn't be happening. I said nothing as I just squeezed her hand and smiled. I really missed her.

"Why aren't you taking his side?" I have to ask. I thought family always take each other side no matter what. That is what my mother always taught me.

"I'm tired of his bull shit. I cannot help him this time. He has to figure something out on his own this time. Plus I do not like the fact that whenever he does something it effects all of us and the way he has treated you these last couple weeks makes me want to just go in that lunch room and kick his ass. Bottom line just because you are related to someone doesn't always make them right. They are still human and humans make bad decisions." I can't help but chuckle. She is right with every word she speaks. I am just glad she thinks like this. I'm glad I have her on my side but for how long. When that baby comes she is going to love it. How can she not. It is half of Dean.

"I was thinking the same thing." I say feeling better. I am not going to bring up the baby. I don't want to ruin the first good mood I have had in a long time.

"Well then we should kick his ass." She as I just smile. She looks so serious.

"I doubt you want to get suspended again." I say recalling the first day of ninth grade.

"True." She says before there was a brief silence before I spoke again.

"So what do I do now?" I ask. I am starting to feel hopeless again. I need her to keep me looking ahead. It's the only way I can get over him.

"Well I suggest we start your rehab."

"Rehab?" I ask titling my head. .

"Yes starting today we start your 12 step program to get you over the asshole that is my cousin." She says so confident. It's easier said than done. I doubt I will ever get over him but I might be able to reach a place where I am okay living without him.

"You're going to help me get over him." I say like it's impossible. It is actually impossible.

"Of course silly. He doesn't deserve you." She says folding her arms.

"I do not want to cause trouble between you two."

"You won't. Family or not , what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong. And you Castiel Novak are done letting him break your heart." She says with such authority. I dare no argue with her.

"You really want to help me?" I still can't believe she is on my side.

"Isn't that what I just said?" she says with a smile.

"Thank you Jo." I say from the bottom of my heart.

Jo waves her hand like she is flagging me off and says "Pish that's what friends are for."

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**Jo and Cas finally talked.**

**What do you about that.**

**Do you feel bad for him. **

**His heart is just breaking and only dean can fix it but it looks like he won'.**

**Tell me what you think if you want to know what will happen between our boys.**


	36. Chapter 36 Dean

**Chapter 36 Dean **

**Here is the next chapter. I hope you like.**

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I don't understand how my life got so complicated. Where and when did I get so caught up? I might not know that but I do know who got me caught up. Everything that makes my life so complicated is Cas. He is the reason I am having such a hard time right now. I swear if he never came into my life things would be simple. I'd be totally in love with my girlfriend. No strike that pregnant kind of girlfriend. I don't if we are back together. All I know is she is carrying my child because I didn't wear a condom. If I did wear a condom my dick would have went soft. My dick goes soft a lot with her but I manage to get it back one I think about Cas.

Speaking of Cas, I miss him like hell. He might have awaken something in me that I could have hidden forever I am not mad that he did. I mean I use to hate him for it but now I'm glad he did. I have never been happier. Being with him makes me feel something I never knew I could feel. I love that feeling and hate that I can't have it anymore. I'd do anything to get that feeling back but I can't have it anymore. At least I can't have it with him. Crazy thing is I don't want it with anybody but him. Damn you life. You are such a son of a bitch.

Now I have to find it with Bella. Bella the girl I have been with since eighth grade. She's the girl who use to make me smile. She's the girl who use to give me a warm feeling. It's funny how I thought I loved her. I think I did at one point. I do still love her and don't want to ever hurt her. I still like being around her but I am not in love with her. I want to be in love with her, I need to be in love with her. I need to find those feelings for her again. We are about to have a baby. If I ever needed something now, this would be the time.

I need to find them now. I am standing in her back yard scared out of my mind. For the past two weeks we have spent every day together and we have yet to talk about our pressing issue. I always think about bringing it up but I back down. I guess in the back of my mind I was hoping if we ignore it will go away, but I know we can't. I thought she bring it up since she is the more reasonably one but she didn't. I guess she is freaking out as much as me. I am actually glad she didn't bring it up, if she had I wouldn't know what to say. I still have no idea what we are going to do or how I feel about it, but time is running out and we need to make a decision. Every time I think about being a father my mind will wonder to Cas. I know I owe him answers but I have no idea what to say to him. I need to talk to Bella first.

Bella sits on a swing that hung from a tree in the middle of her backyard. She twirls her thumbs as she stares off into space. I wonder what she is thinking. I remember many times she would tell me she loves Dean and often imagines having my children. She always says she see's us with two kids: a boy and a girl. I use to love it when she told me that. I actually use to imagine it myself but now when she says it makes me feel horrible. I bet of all the things she imagined for us in the future she'd never pictured being sixteen and pregnant. She looks so scarred. I was always trying to protect her. I never wanted to ruin her but I now the worse has come. I actually ruined her by making her a teen mom.

"Hello Darling." She says smiling as I sat down next to her. I kissed her on the cheek as I through my arm around her. I would kiss her on the lips but I am not sure if we are a couple. We haven't been affectionate lately. Plus I kind of don't want to kiss her. We both sat there swinging listening to the birds chirp waiting for the other to speak first.

"So are we going to talk about this?" she finally says. I'm glad she did. I want to get this conversation over and done with. I need to talk to Cas.

"I'm confused Bella." I say staring straight ahead.

"I know sweet heart, but we need to decide what to do. I cannot keep this from my parents forever." There is a way her parents would never find out. We could get the pregnancy taken care of but I hate the idea for two reasons. I hate the idea of killing my child before it even has a chance. Second and last if I suggest that it might things worse. I would hate to hurt her by suggesting an abortion.

I turn to look at her and noticed how beautiful she was. She already had the pregnancy glow I heard my aunt mention before. "I guess the only thing I can do is ask you what you want to do?" I say still not looking at her. I want to look at her but right now all I keep thinking about what Cas must be going though.

"Dean it's your baby too. I would love to hear what is on you mind." she says grabbing my face forcing me to make eye contact. Now for the first time I only see her. I realize I need to push my shit to the side and only care about her for the first time in a long time.

"I don't know Bella. I always wanted to be a father. I know I love you but is it the right time. I mean are we even together." I need to know. I need to know if I have to get my old feelings back for her.

"I love you too and I don't know if we are together. Having a baby is hard. We are only sixteen. Maybe we should take care of it." She says with an ashamed look. I was kind of hoping she say that but actually hear it out loud changes everything. I want my child but I am not sure if I want her. People can raise babies and not be together right.

"Bella you know I do not agree with that, but a woman does have a right to choose." I usually do agree with that but not when it's my child. My father wasn't shit and I would like to make up for that with my child.

"Dean if we have this baby then that means you will have to commit to me one hundred percent. I will be in your life forever. That means-"

"I know what that means Bella. I have been with you one hundred percent. I have thought about a future with you some many times." I say looking into her eyes. I really have thought of a life with her. It just hasn't been recently. I

"Have you really been here one hundred percent?" She asks getting upset. Oh no what did I do I thought I was saying all the right things. Maybe it's her hormones. Oh no wait I know what she means.

"Please don't start this." I say pinching the bridge of my nose. With everything I am dealing with. I don't need this to.

"You did cheat on me Dean. That is the reason we broke up." She says a little loud.

"I told you I have never been with any other girl." I say getting aggravated. It's true I haven't been another girl but I did still cheat on her. I thought about telling her the truth but she is pregnant she doesn't need to know that.

"Please do not lie to me Dean. You had a hickey. I saw it with my own eyes. I know I did not give it to you. Plus you had scratches on your back. I do not do that either." She says tearing up. Oh no I made her cry. I hate seeing any girl cry. I'd do anything to stop it.

Stupid Cas and his stupid sex ideas. I know my face is turning red as I start to remember how I got the hickey and scratches. Cas had ask me to ride him cowboy style cowboy because I am a girl. If he'd said cowgirl I wouldn't have done it, but he said boy and I did. I got caught up things got a little rough. The faster I bounced up and down on him the harder his nails dug into my back. Then next thing I know he is holding me close while he sucks on my neck. That was a great day but I wish I could go back and change something's. Who am I kidding even if I did, it wouldn't change what is happen with her.

"Dean are you going to just sit there and say nothing now." She says getting up to storm off.

"Hey." I say grabbing her arm. We are going to talk about this no matter what.

"What Dean? I can see now you are not prepared to be a father." She says crying. Oh please stop crying. I will do anything to stop her. A girl crying is the worst thing in the world.

"Stop it" I say as I stood up and pulled her into my embrace. She buried her head into my chest as she sobbed. I rubbed her back as I spoke. "I am sorry if I hurt you. I love you. I am not ready to be a father, but I will be one if you want to have this kid." What does regret feel like? I think I might actually be feeling that with every word I spoke. Oh great now I sound like a dick. She is carrying my child. I shouldn't be feeling that.

Bella then pulled away and looked at me. Her were eyes red and puffy. "I always wanted to have children with you and I know this not what we both imagined but I think we can make it." I'm glad she does because I am not so sure.

"So do I." I say looking into her eyes. I know I am lying but telling her the truth will only make things worse. I need things to get better.

"Look you cheated. It happens. Sometime people make mistakes. My father cheated on my mother in the past but she mange to forgive him. I can do the same. I just need to know whoever you cheated with is out of the picture and that it will never happen again. Please do not deny anything. I am willing to forgive and forget if you just make a commit to me today." OH god. How can I can tell her Cas is out the picture. How can I admit to something like that? He being out the picture would mean I never get to be with him again.

"Out of the picture" I say as I run the word mistake though my head. Cas might be a lot of things but I never thought of him as a mistake. He could never be. He has helped me so much to accept things about myself.

"Yes. You have to promise you will never cheat on me again. You have to promise to never deal with her ever again. You will only be with me. We are going to be a family and our family doesn't need any extra baggage. We are going to have enough problems to deal with. We don't need another one. Promise me you will never see this person again." He says looking deep into my eyes.

I thought about her words. I thought how much it was going to hurt Cas. How much it will suck to let him go. I really liked being with him and the thought of only being with him didn't seem so bad, but I ahve to do this for my family. I'll miss him but I cannot let it get to me. I am going to be a father and my child comes first and that meant having a mother and a father. As much as it pains me I am going to have to let Cas go. At least the way I have been holding onto him. We are friends first. He might be upset at first but maybe we can become friends again one day.

"Bella, I promise that here and from now on, we are a family. It is only you, me and our child. I love you and promise to do everything in my power to never hurt you." I really mean that. I always wanted a family. Yes this isn't the way I imagined but I got what I wanted and I will not ruin that.

"Promise." She says so hopeful as she wipes her face.

"I promise" I say as I thought of Cas. When I went to pull her on a kiss I thought I was pulling Cas into it. I kissed her like I would kiss him. I can never be with him again, so I kissed her like I was kissing him for the last time

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**So i am off for the next two days and then i return next to Wednesday. I can update within the 48 hours if you want.**

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**Reviews are always welcomed **

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	37. Chapter 37 Gabriel

**Chapter 37 Gabriel **

**Hello, I want to say thank you to my A Strong Opinion guest for the review. Look to the bottom for my feedback. **

**Here is the next chapter. Hope you like. It's from Gabriel pov but you have to read if you want to follow the next chapter. **

**A Strong Opinion go to the bottom.**

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Why the hell do I consider Dean Winchester a friend? I watch him hurt my brother over and over again and yet I do nothing about. If Cassie was a girl I think I might have kicked his ass by now. Hell I might have kicked his ass twice by now. I cannot take seeing my brother like this. For over a month now he has done nothing but mope around. He barley eats and oh don't get me started on sleeping. I haven't slept with him so much since he was a little kid and I had to sleep with him when he was afraid of the rain. I never knew someone could give you night terrors.

I have had enough of it. It's time I put an end to the never ending sulking. I miss my brother and I want him back. Today is the day he starts over. I swear I will get him over Dean and I will punch him the face at least once before this year is over.

"Rise and shine Cassie boy" I yelled as I barged into Cassie's room. Of course he groanes the minute my voice pierced though his head. I feel kind of bad waking him. It's the first time in while he has slept through the night without calling out Dean's name. He rolled over to bury himself under his blanket. That's kind of weird. I get being heartbroken but can you say over attached. "Leave me alone" he groaned. I guess he wants to be left alone but guess what? Not a chance He needs some tough love and I will give ti too him. . I don't care if he hasn't been in the best of moods the last month. He hasn't been in the best moods but today he might be in the worst ever.

"Come on Cassie, it's after one. You need to get out of bed." I say pulling the sheets off him. He has been lying in bed for like three days. He has missed school and he knows we aren't supposed to do that plus he is starting to smell.

"Gabriel Leave me alone." He yelled laying there in a pair of boxers and t-shirt. Normally I would say someday back but I will let him back. Oh who am I kidding

"Someone is grumpy today." I say before I flop down next to him. His body order invades my nose but hey a brother got to do what he got to do.

"Why are you so cheerful? Do you know what today is?" Cassie's says moving away from me. Of course I know what today is. I would never forget it but unlikehim I chose to celebrate instead of mope and moan.

"UMMMM Let's see, it's Tuesday, the second day of spring break." I say acting hiding my rage. As if I could ever forget. He acts like he is the only that was effected by today. He is lucky he is heartbroken and it is fresh.

"Wrong, you forgot today is the anniversary of our moms death." He says sitting up. I just looked him. I can see his pain dancing around in his now dull blue eyes.

"I know Cassie, she was my mother too." I say dropping the act. I know what today is. I don't need someone pointing out one of the hardest days in my life.

"Then how can you act like it doesn't bother you." It does but I have to be string for him.

"Don't get me wrong I miss her a lot, but I know she would not want us lying around the house having pity parties." She really wouldn't. She never told us directly but I heard tell a friend she didn't fear dead. She said it is a reward to surviving life.

"She wouldn't." he says like he is asking me a question.

"No, she would just want us to party and you know that. Every year we do something to celebrate her not morn her, so why don't you really just admit what's bothering you so we can get the day going."

"I do not know what you are talking about." Oh great we have to play this game again. I am getting sick of tired of it. He should know how it goes for now.

"Oh Come on now. For over a month now you have been sulking, all because of Dean." I say not really in the mood to play this game.

"I do not know what you are talking about." He says as he gets out of bed to leave the room,

"OH Come on" I called out after him, "Admit it Cassie" I say following him into the living room.

"Gabriel, can you please leave it alone? I just want to honor mom today, I do not want to think about Dean," Castiel says as the doorbell rang. I said nothing as I went to open the door to find Jo standing there with bags in her hand.

"Jo" I said stunned. What is she doing here. We have been cool for a while but she has been here in so long. I always wish for this day to come but I never imagined Cassie to here or her there bags in her hand.

"Gab, Hi." She says nervously. I'm glad I am not the only one. Normally I would love it if she should up here but I have other things to do today. Don't get me wrong I am glad she is here I just wish things weren't so complicated today. Damn it

"What are you doing here?" I ask letting her in. As she steps in, my heart starts to jump.I don't know how I am standing with my heart beating so face.

"I know what today is and well I came to hang with you guys today. She says looking at Cassie who was sitting on the couch. He looks so annoyed and worn out.

"Yeah, I brought food and movies." She says holding up the bags as she looks at me again.

"Well aren't you just lovely." I say taking the bags. "I'll put them in the kitchen." I say as I start to walk to the kitchen.

"SOOO" Jo says sitting down next to Cassie. I stop to listen. I am stand behind the wall that separates me from them.

"So what?" he ask looking at her

"Did you sleep last night and before you think about lying to me the circles under your eyes are darker than they were two days ago." She says wagging her finger. She loves moving her finger. Some might find it annoying but I find it cute. Man I missed her.

"Jo why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?" he says

"Cause I care."

"Well please stop. I am fine." He says getting up.

"NO you're not." She says turning her body to the back of the couch to look at him.

"Does it really matter if I slept or how I am feeling? There is nothing I can do to fix it and neither can you." He says walking away. I hope it's to the shower.

"Castiel you will get through this." She yells calling after him.

"Yeah yeah." He says before he entrers the bathroom. Oh thank god. He is going to shower. Mom you must be with us now.

Soon as Cassie left, I ran into the kitchen to put down the bags before I emerged to find Jo sitting alone. I stopped and watched her for a moment. It is the first time I have been alone with her in a long time. I do not know how to approach the situation and I know that says a lot. I am still pretty pissed at her, but I am glad she is here. I studied her body to see if anything about her has changed. She was still the same Jo right down to the necklace I gave her for Christmas. She did return it but I put it in her locker. She told me her locker code long ago. I had the necklace for a couple days but decided it belong to its rightful owner.

"I see you still have the necklace." I say regretting my first choice of words. Jo touched her necklace and smiled. She has worn it every day since I given it to her. In a way it tells me she still cares.

"I told you I loved it." She says still holding it. "It's beautiful."

"Like you." I say sitting down. I want to smack myself. Telling her she was beautiful was probably crossing the line

"Thank you" she said letting go of her necklace. They sat there for a while in silence trying to figure out what to say to each other.

"So how's Adam." I say hoping to change the subject before I scare her off.

"OH he's fine….. How's Heather?" she ask a little awkward and jealous at the same time. I hope it's not my mind playing tricks on me.

"I thought you guys were friends? Shouldn't you know?" I say like I don't know they secretly hate each other.

"Not really, we're more like team mates." She says looking at her shoes. I started to wish Cassie would get out the shower and join us. Just as I was starting to feel so uncomfortable there was a knock at the door. Gabriel recognized the knock right away. There is only one person who knocks like that. It must be Dean.

"Aren't you going to get that?" She ask one she noticed I wasn't getting up. I refused to get up because I feel awkward. She is the last person I should ever feel like that with,

"I don't think I should." For so many reason, but mainly because Cassie doesn't need him here right now.

"Why?"

"I don't want to." I say so evasive.

"Why?" she pushes.

"Fine I'll get it." I say getting up to open. I know she was going to drag it out if I did not answer the door.

"Deano" I say in a cheerful voice. Why did I say it like that? I am pissed at him. The brother in me wants to hurt him but the friend in me wants to give him a chance to explain. Maybe he is here to explain.

"Hey Gab…. JO?" Dean says once Jo walked up and stood next to me. She is standing there protective. IO's kind of like she doesn't want him here either.

"Hey Dean." She says casually. I love that she can do that.

"What are you doing here?" he asks confused.

"I could ask you the same thing." She says folding her arms.

"I came to see Cas." He says noticing we were blocking the entrance. Oh he comes to see him. We are supposed to be friends to but he came to visit him when he knows we live together.

"Why?" I ask giving in to the protective big brother mood. If we are friends he will understand.

"Look Cas and I may not be on the best terms right now but he is still my friend." Dean says ashe looks around to see if he was there.

"He's not here." I say lying again.

"Then why is his car parked outside." Dean says pointing his thumb. Why is he always checking for his car? These two have a lot of issues just by that alone. Maybe they really shouldn't be together.

"Look Dean buddy we are friends, but I do not think Cassie's wants you here right now and he is my baby brother so I have to do what's best for him" I might as well tell the truth. Nothing ever good ever comes from lying to each other.

"I can speak for myself Gabriel." Cassie says appearing out of nowhere. Okay fine if he wants to stick up for himself I will let him but I swear I will have his back.

"Cas" Dean says pushing pass Jo and me. Dean better just be here to set things right.

"What are you doing here?" Cassie says as he tries to keep the rage inside. He shouldn't do that. His whole face tells me he might explode. Oh man this won't end well.

"I came to see you." Dean says as the air in the room grows cold.

"Why? Shouldn't you be with your pregnant girlfriend?" He says folding his arms. My thoughts exactly.

"Don't be like that. We are still friends, I still care about you. I know what today is and ever since we met I have always spent today with you and I am not about to forget tradition." Cassie studied Dean for a while. So many emotions must run threw him. I know they do. The same is happening with me as I stand next to a silent Joanna. She is just standing there like she is reading an intense book,

"Cas, man say something." Dean begs when my brother stands there quiet for too long. .

"I think you should go." He finally says in an emotionless voice.

"What? Why?" he ask like he doesn't already know the answer.

"Dean, I do not want you here so please go." He says pointing towards the door.

"I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to talk to me at all today but I am not leaving you." Dean says trying to stand his ground, but I see it's taking a toll on him.

"Fine!" Cassie growled "If you do not wish to leave then I will leave." He says storming past us and out the front door.

"Cas wait!" Dean yells running after him.

Once Dean ran out, Jo tried to follow behind. I immediately grabbed her arm to stop her.

"What are you doing?" she says snatching away

"Stopping you." I say blocking the door.

"Why? We should go after Castiel?" She says trying to get pass. We should go after him, but there are just something her needs to do on his own. I want to be by his side but I know I can't right now.

"No we don't. he will be back, plus I think he and Dean should talk." I really do think that. Dean look like he needs to say a few things Cassie need to hear. Whether he likes them or not.

"I think that will only make it worse." She says trying to get around me.

"No I think there are something's Cassie needs to get off his chest and we would only interrupt, trust me on this." I say while holding my hands up to block her. Jo bit her lip and weighed what I had said. She knows I am right and not matter how much we tried Cassiel would not feel better unless the source of his pain was confronted.

"Fine" she says walking over to the couch to sit down. "You're right. What should we do now?" I thought she never ask.

"Maybe you and I should talk about a few things while we wait." I say as I wlak over to sit down next to her.

"What do we have to talk about?" She ask as she felt my breath on her face. I know I am too close but I don't care. The two of us sat here on the couch face to face. I studied her face resisting the urge to brush a lose stride of hair out her face. All I want to do is kiss her.  
"All I want to do is kiss you." I declared. The silence was killing me so I decided to say the first thing that came to mind. I was sick of the silence. My mother always taught me to say what I feels and today of all days I am going to follow her advice. Jo shifted her body. She moved a few inches back as she tries to catch her breath.

"I want a shot of whatever you got." She says as she walks toward our mini bar that we keep stock. Thank god that homeless man lives behind the liquor store,

"Whatever you'd like." I say as I got up to fix us a drink. I poured both if us a Jack and coke. . Jo chugged her drink down as soon as I handed it to her. Once she finished her drink she got up to leave.

"Why are you leaving?" I ask as soon as her hand touches the knob. Jo stood there with her back towards me. Before she could say anything I spoke.

"You and Dean are so much alike…..I mean I tell you I want to kiss you and you run off. I use to say stuff like this all the time but you never ran off. It seems you two run off when really feelings get involved. I don't get that. Are you sacred of what might really happen if you give in? Lock I don't need to know every single detail all the time but this time I need to know why? All I want to know is why? Why can't you be in the same room as me? I have done nothing to you. I mean sure I can be immature among other things, but when it comes to you I have been nothing but upfront. I have been honest….. Joanna I think of you all the time. I think of your smile. I think of the way you walk the way you talk. Hell I even think of the way you always tell people what you think what's good for them. You the most beautiful girls I have ever laid eyes on. I mean …"

"Gabriel please?" Jo interrupts as she kept her back towards me. Her voice cracked. That must mean I am starting to break though.

"Please what? Please stop talking to you. Please stop telling you how I feel. Please stop chasing after you. I don't know what I did to you but all you have to do is tell me why and I promise you I will leave you alone for good Jo. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop wondering where my best friend went. All I want to do is make sense of what happen." I say as my voice also starts to crack.

I have play everything out in my mind and I still can't figure out a reason why she just up and dumped me. I know at first I was doing everything wrong but I stopped that. I stopped doing everything she hated just so she would give me a chance. I am not the only one owed answers here.

Jo stood there listening to my words. She kept her back turned as I spoke. Told her everything up until I hate and lover her at the same damn time. Before I could get it out she turned around. She turn said my name and I shut up. Something about the look she gave me it was time to stop talking. Before we could say anything she ran up to me and kissed me.

"Jo" I say in shock. I am trying to capture my breath why processing the kiss. The way she kissed me told me everything she felt and I'm not gone lie. I feel the same way.

"Stop talking" she says before kissing me again. I wanted to say something but why ruin a good thing. I want her anyway I can get her. I'll just let my hormones take over. I lifted her up bridal style and carried her to his bedroom. While I carried her she kissed me the whole time. Nothing about her actions was telling me to stop. I know what she wants and I want to give it to her but I can't help but think this is wrong. Once we entered my I placed her down gently on my bed before I climbed on top of her. I ask looking into her eyes. I have imagined looking into her eyes. I imagined this moment so many times but never did I imagine it while we were in a relationship with other people. I want this but not if she is going to regret it later. I have a girlfriend and yes I don't care for her that much but I am above cheating, but she is the only exception.

"Please" she whines. I look into her eyes and soul and they both telling me that this is only the beginning of a beautiful story.

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**Make sure you review and i will update before Wednesday**

**That is if you want to know what happen after Castiel stormed out and Dean followed. I promise the chapter will just them **

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**Spoiler Alert **

**to A Strong Opinion (only read if you like spoliers) **

**Dean is confused but do not worry i will resolve that one way or another**

**Cas getting a boyfriend. You read my mind. I know i didn't give much away but i feel like i gave so much. Keeping reading and reewing and a ending shall be yours soon**

**Spoiler Alert**


	38. Chapter 38 Dean

**Chapter 38 Dean **

**So here is the next chapter. **

**There will be one more chapter before i take a break.**

**There is one more year to get though and i need to figure out how to get though that.**

**If you want their final year after the next chapter then you should review**

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I woke up today with only thing to do. Today I am going to talk to Cas. It's been over a month since I talked to him and I think it's about time. I didn't intend for this much time to pass but a lot has been going on. Having a pregnant girl with morning sickness all the time takes a lot out of you. Then there's the added fact that we are trying to hide the pregnancy and trying to honor my promise if being true to her talking to him kind of fell through the cracks.

I didn't mean for it to happen honestly. At first I thought I give it a couple weeks. I was trying to find a way to fight temptation. Then the next thing I know a month has pass and I realize that May 31st was coming up. How could it slip my mind? I never forget this day. Usually I plan something weeks in advance. Last year we went to six flags, the year before that we went to a baseball game. This year I had nothing plan. I had no idea what to do this year, but then I remember I owed him answers. I at least owed him a proper break up.

I woke up that morning and the first thing I did was tell Bella I was spending the day with Cas. She knows with today is and is okay with the fact I give him my full attention today. I get dress, grab something to eat, and then I head straight over to him. The drive seemed longer than expected. It usually takes me ten minutes to get there but it felt like a hour. The whole time my heart is beating out of my chest and I feel like I am about to throw up my breakfast. Somehow I manage to get there without losing my nerve.

The walk unlike the drive was faster than I thought. I stood at his door for like five minutes getting my nerve up. I finally knocked on his door and was greeted by Gabriel. Then I see Jo is there. Normally I would question why she is there but I don't really care right now. After a few words are exchanged between us and Gabriel trying to send me away Cas appears. I hoped he realized that I wasn't going anywhere until we talked, but he didn't. He stormed out of the house. I followed after him but he jumped in his car and drove off so fast I didn't get a chance to follow him.

It take me long to figure out where he went. I followed Cas all the way to the cemetery where his mom was buried. I figured he be there. We usually visit her grave with Gabriel before we head off to do something fun. Yes Gabriel went to six flags and to the game with us. She was his mom and he is my friend too. I walked into the cemetery and saw Cas sitting next to her tomb stone. I watched as he there saying something. After he was done speaking he just sat there looking so pained. He had that look like he wanted to be left alone. So I stood there waiting for the right moment. Two hours had pass as I sat under a tree watching him. As I sat there I thought all of the things I could say to him but nothing seem right. All I could come up with was I miss you and you make me feel like no one has ever made me feel. What is wrong with me? I can't say those things. Saying that would hurt my family and I can't do that.

"Cas" I say cautious. I slowing approach him like I was approaching an animal in the wild. He said nothing. He didn't even look at me. He continued to sit there with his knees to his chest staring at his mother's head stone. I sat down next him hoping he would move. When I sat there I got a whiff of his scent and right there I want to reach out and touch him.

"Why are you here?" He says after another twenty minutes of sitting in silence. He also avoids looking at me. His question actually surprises me. How could he ask me that. No matter what is going in with us I have always been here today.

"I…I already told you." I say trying not to touch him. Just as I was about to say something I felt my phone vibrate. I start to answer it but figured it might be Jo. I ignore the buzzing in my pocket and focus on him.

"Right you don't want to leave me …but yet you have done that over and over again in the past. You left me as recently as last month and as in your style without saying a word. " He says with a scary chuckle

"I have always cared and I have never left you." I say as my throat starts to dry. It's true I never really left him. We just sort of always went to some weird limbo but we always found each other again.

"Right, that's why I have been going out of my mind trying to figure out what is happening with us. Why I have tried to talk to you but you ignore me. Why you don't even acknowledge me when you see."

"I have been busy" I say feeling really bad. I never meant to do those things. I don't know how I manage to do that. I wanted some time but I guess I let too much time pass. Saying I been busy is true but it's not a good enough reason.

"I bet you have." Cas says finally looking at me. I wanted him to look at me but now I wish he hadn't. His eyes are filled with such sorrow and pain and it's my entire fault. No it's not my fault. Part of it is because he is hurting over his mom. "Too busy to call or send a text or even talk to me at school."

"You haven't eaten lunch with me." I say looking at the head stone. It's true on both our ends. I have called or texted and he doesn't eat with me anymore. Although I did take Bella away from the table but I had good reasons. I started to eat with them one day but he wasn't there. It was just Gabriel and Jo and I didn't want to interrupt. I owed them that much.

"Sure." He says looking away. Cas stared at his mother's grave.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask hoping for some kind of conversation.

"I am remembering everything about my mother." He says

"Like what?' I ask. We always visit her grave but he never talks about her. This is new.

"Well." He says taking a breath as he looks into space. "I remember the way she use to sing, the way she use to make me and my brothers watch Days of Our Lives with her, I even remember the way she cooked. I even remember the way she smells. I haven't smelled her in so long. " he says as he starts to cry.

He never cries. No matter how upset he gets. He must really be going through it. I have no idea what to say or do. I let him cry as watch out the corner of my eye. I said nothing as I wrapped my arm around him. Seeing Cas sad makes me sad. I pulled my best friend and former lover into my chest as he sobbed like a baby into my shirt. I don't know what to say but at least I can hold him. He has held me so many nights, it time I return the feeling. I hope he feels as safe as I do. I gently brushed my hand though his hair as I laid a gentle kiss on the top of his head. I shouldn't have done that. Soon as I kissed him he pushed me away so hard.

"Don't touch me" he says so angry, I actually shock a little.

"I'm sorry." I say standing up. . We stood there toe to toe gazing into each other's eyes. I want to make his pain go away but I don't know how.

"For what? Are you sorry that she left me. Or are you sorry that everyone I love leaves me." Wait everyone he loves leave him. That isn't true. He still has his brother and Jo.

"Not everybody who loves you leave you."

'Don't they. Dean. My mother dies. My father moved away. Balthazar moved. Jo stopped talking to me for a while. And then there's.-" he says trailing off.

"What? Please finish what you are about to say." I have to know. Is he saying what I think he is saying?

"forget it." He say talking a step back.

"I can't." I say.

"Why not? You are go at forgetting things Dean. " he says as my phone buzzes for like the fourth time.

"No Cas I can't. " I say trying to get him to look at me.

"Dean please just leaves me alone. I wish to be alone." He says turning his back.

"Please Cas, just tell me. I refuse to leave until you tell what you were going to say.

He takes a deep breath before he speaks. "If I tell you will you promise to leave me alone?"

"I promise." I say. I don't mean it. I just need him to tell me so we can at least rebuild our relationship.

"Fine" he say turning around. "Everybody I love leaves me, including you. I love you but you left me too and it's just a matter of months before Gabriel leaves too." He says looking into my eyes.

Before I could even speak or think my phone rings yet again. It must be an emergency. I have to answer it.

"Hold on." I say. I swear I will get back to him just as soon as I end this call. "Hello I say as I realize it's Bella who kept calling.

"Dean" she cries as I turn my back on him. "I'm bleeding"

"What!" I say nervous. She's bleeding. I am losing my child and the one person I want to be with all in the same day. No, I can't I have to keep one.

"I do not know what happen. I went to the bathroom and there was blood and it won't stop. The bleeding just got heavier as I started feeling really bad cramps."

"Where are you?" I ask thinking of my unborn.

"I'm on my way to the hospital with my cousin." She cries.

"Okay good, I'll meet you there" I say without a second thought.

"Okay please hurry" she says crying

"I will, don't worry. I love you" I say hanging up. After I put my phone back in my pocket I turn to look for Cas, but he wasn't there. What the hell is happening? He just told me he loves me and my child is dying before it's born. I need to explain this to him but I need to get to the hospital. T

The minutes ticked away as I made my decisions. It could take me hours to find him and my baby might not fine hours. Cas will still be here but my child will not.

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**I know this was a short chapter but i think it gets to the point.**

**So what do you think?**

**here are some things to think about?**

**Are you fed up even more with Dean?**

** Cas told Dean he loves him and Dean takes a call.**

**What do you think about the confession.**

**Do you think things will get better.**

**What will happen with Cas?**

**Jo and Gabriel did it. Does this give them hope. **

**What do you think Cas will do now.**

**Bella is bleeding. What does this mean.**

**Okay I'm done. **

**Tell me what you think. **

**Remember one more chapter before i go on hiatus. **

**review and you shall know what happens next. **


	39. Chapter 39 Gabriel

**Okay so here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. It's told from Gabriel's pov but it really has nothing to do with him kind of. This is more a Dean centered chapter. **

**Please tell me what you think?**

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**Chapter 39 Gabriel **

"_Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong"_

I peak though the peep hole to see who is ringing it like a mad man. I was in such a sound sleep when whoever started ringing like someone was chasing them. At first I thought I was dreaming but I finally woke up and realized it was real. Whoever it is it just better be important. I was having such a lovely dream about the Khloe Kardashian. I know everyone likes Kim but it's just something about her that makes me want to climb those long legs.

I drag myself to the door and see that it's Dean. I should have known he show up here. School ended three days ago and his girlfriend should be on a plane somewhere over the ocean by now. It's just like him. He abandons my brother yet again two weeks ago and shows up when it is convenient for him. I am really getting sick of this. I should just leave him out there but he can be like a dog with a bone. I should just tell him Cassie isn't here. It would be a lie. My brother isn't here for like the first time ever.

I would leave him out but then again Cassie told me yesterday he knew this whole time why Jo had "dumped me." I'm actually pretty pissed about it. He let me go out of my mind for months trying to figure out where I went wrong. I asked him so many times and he just lied to my face.

Crazy thing is I wouldn't have been mad. I would have understood and I understand why she did what she did. She was protecting her family. I get that more than anything. IF he just would have told me. I would have dealt with it, but nope he had to be the spineless coward that is has proven himself to be over and over again.

"Hey Gabe." He says as I open the door. Good thing I did he was about to ring the bell again. "Deano" I say smiling as I feel my rage boil inside.

"Hey man." He says stepping inside. I didn't give him a chance to say anything before I drew my arm back and sent it flying into his face. I am surprised at my own strength. Dean flew back against the now closed door and lost his balance for a minute. Once he stood up I hit him again. This time I landed on his nose. Once Dean got himself together I realize his nose was bleeding my hand was starting to hurt. My hand might be in pain but I feel so much better as a whole now.

"What the Hell man. IS this because I didn't come to your graduation." He says holding his nose. I'm actually surprised he didn't try to hit me back. Guess he knows he deserves it on some level.

"Aww man is it bleeding" I say stepping closer to see if it was broken. Dean took a defensive stance as I held my hands up to show him I wasn't going to hit him again.. "Come on in the kitchen so I can get you some ice and a towel." He looked at me like I was crazy before he carefully walked past me.

"Here you go." I say as I hand him some paper towels. I pulled out an ice pact to put on my hand. I stood between the island and the stove as he sat on the other side. We both looked at each other waiting for the other to speak.

"So what's up man?" I say as I grab some Oreo's out of the cookie jar. It's really hard to with one hand but I managed. Once I turned back around and popped one in my mouth I notice Dean was still looking at me like I was crazy.

"Seriously, you cold clock me twice and you want to know what's up" he says holding the towels to his nose. Man I really got him good. That thing is still bleeding.

"Yeah I mean we haven't really talked in a couple weeks. So how's everything going? " I say eating another Oreo.

"Why did you punch me?" he asks like it was an obvious question. I guess it's not that obvious to him. How did he make it through school without having to go to summer school?

"You certainly are a grumpy Gus today." I say feeling really good. I was in an okay mood today but after hitting him I feel great. Man I think I am starting to see why men get into fights. What am I thinking? I am too pretty to be fighting.

"Well you did kind of hit me and my nose is bleeding." He says rolling his eyes.

"Yeah well you kind of deserved it. You kind of have been a selfish jerk."

"Selfish jerk seriously how?" he asks offended. Really, I think I might actually hit him again.

"Well for starters I know why Jo has been avoiding me." I say after I eat the last cookie. I would get more but I really don't feel like doing that again with one hand. I need to wait for my hand to stop hurting. Okay now I have another reason why I shouldn't be fighting.

"She told you?" he says so shocked. I search his face and I don't see not one once of remorse.

"NO Cassie did." I say opening the refrigerator. This is easy to do. I grab us both a soda. Of course I had to grab them one at a time. Once I successfully got the them to the table we resumed our conversation.

"How did he know?" That's the first thing he wants to say. Not a I'm sorry or my bad man.

"Don't really know but he told me what happen and I have to say I was not happy to hear that. I mean you both could and should have told me. I get why she didn't and I am not mad at her, but you should have told me. I thought we were supposed to be friends."

"We are." He says Okay now I see remorse. I just wish I knew what it was for.

"Then why not tell me." I say standing across the island again.

"Would you have stayed away from Jo if you knew?" he ask like we both know the answer.

"Of course not."

"And you would have gotten her shipped off to god knows where." Says putting the towel down. Looks like it finally stop bleeding.

"Well maybe if you'd just come out the closet then that all could have been avoided. I mean come on." I am not ready to let this conversation go about JO but it can wait. The way he has been treating Cassie cannot. It's time we have this long overdue talk.

"Come out the closet. I do not need to come out of nothing. I have a girlfriend." He really is clinging to her. I really should hit him again. Maybe if I hit him hard enough the denial will fly right out of him.

"Right and you love her blah blah blah. You two are going to have a kid, so you should be with her. Please do not give that bull I do not want to hit you again." I say as I finally get my can of soda open. I let Dean think about it as I take victory sip.

"I could take you" he says so indignant

"You sure about that? I am a lot stronger then I look and you know that, plus like I said before you deserve it."

"Right cause of Jo rejecting you"

"That but mostly the way you have treated my little brother." I say trying to keep clam.

"I thought you were staying out of it."

"I have but now I think it's time we exchange words about him. I should have given you the you hurt him and die speech but I didn't think you need it. Then I figured you two be out and proud by now but I clearly over estimated you."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Exactly how it sounds. You have dragged him through the mud and I honestly do not like it. All because you can't own up to who you are. I mean have you forgotten the time we live in. People are more accepting these days plus anybody who has spent more than five minutes with you two would not be surprised. I am still shock Bella hasn't figured it out. Then again she is pregnant so those hormones might be clouding her judgment now."

"She not pregnant anymore." He says looking at his soda.

"Come again." I didn't think I heard him right. Did he say she wasn't pregnant anymore?

"She lost the baby two weeks ago."

"She did." I say trying to hide my excitement. It's horrible really but I am just glad Cassie doesn't have to spend his last year of high school watching her grow a human inside of her. A human that was Dean's.

"Yes."

"So is that why you are here now?" I ask being serious. This is not a time for me to joke or make fun of him. I think we actually need to have a real talk.

"I haven't spoken to him since the day at the graveyard. I been wanting to talk to him but I didn't not know what he would say. I know I owe him answers. So I have been trying to find a way to give him what he wants. Things with Bella have finally slowed down. She had a miscarriage and I should have told him sooner but she got real depressed. So I spent most of my time being a shoulder for her to lean on. She was really heartbroken. She creed all night when it happen. I actually was sad to but I can't say I am not relieved. So with being relieved I started thinking maybe me and him could work something out. I miss him and I think it's time we made up."

"Okay." I say after I listen to him. "So you want to make up with him but then what?"

"What do mean?' he ask looking confused.

"You want to make up with him? You want to give him what he wants but the one thing he wants you won't do. He wants you to himself. He wants you out the closet."

"I was only with him but then things happen and he is okay with me being in the closet. I mean hell he is in the closet too" he says getting defensive.

"Only because of you. Cassie would be out if you didn't want to hide yourself." I know he would. He isn't ashamed of who is or who he likes. "Dean you say you know him. Does Cassie seem like the type of guy that would hide something."

"Yes" he says like I should have known. "He kept a lot of shit from me too. How many chicks has he fucked since he been with me. He had a girl at one point when we were together."

"Really, he did all of those things because of you and he hooked up with those chicks when you two were on the outs. He just works really fast. Cassie hides who is because of you.

"What does that have to do with me?" Does he still not see the bigger picture? Maybe I am not saying the right things.

"Ever here you are the company you keep." I say as he shakes his head to wait for me to finish. "You two spend so much time together. So if people knew he liked boys them some people might think you do too."

"but I don't like boys."

"Are you serious." I say as I resist the urge to slap him. "have you forgot my room is right next to Cassie's. Have you forgotten I can hear every little thing though the walls. Plus I know the role you play in your little kinky games. Spin that crap to someone who doesn't know you. You like boys, you like him, so fucking acknowledge he has nothing but try to please your selfish ass. I say as I feel my face turn red."

"I know I have been a jerk but that's why I'm here. I want to say I'm sorry. Try to rebuild with him." He says with his head down.

"Right"I say now rolling my eyes. "You want to reconnect with him because your girlfriend has left for the summer and you need to find a way to get your rocks off while she's gone."

"No it's not like that" He says raising his voice. I see I struck a chord.

"Then what is it. Look I get it you had pressing responsibility's over the past few months, but that does not excuse you from having one conversation with him or your behavior from the last three years. You broke his heart."

"I know and that's why I am here. He means a lot to me." It's like he didn't even listen. It's like he just waited for me to stop talking so he could talk again.

"Do you love him?" It's a fair question. I know my brother loves him. Dean whole body tensed up as he tried to avoid eye contact.

"Gabriel look Cas and I-"

"Save it" I say holding up my hands. I see he is about to give me some excuse as why he can't own up to his feelings. I know Dean has feelings for my brother. I can see them. If I didn't believe he did we wouldn't be sitting here talking? Maybe his feelings aren't strong enough to Make Cassie happy. I am just here Cassie is not here. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"What do you mean?" Dean says looking scared.

"He's gone Dean." I say as I see pain wash thought his eyes.

"What do you mean gone?" Dean says as breathing quickens. If I didn't know him. I would actually feel sorry for him.

"He left with my father yesterday." My dad had come in for my graduation, but soon as it was over and we had a celebration dinner, he made his way back to Fort Bragg.

"He did what?" Dean says as he grips the side of the island. He looks down and takes deep breaths. I think he might actually have a panic attack with the way he is breathing.

"He went to North Carolina with my father."

"For how long? He just went to visit right. Like how you would go visit. You go for like a couple days up to a week and you'd be home. He is coming back right. "Dean asked anxious.

"I don't know. He said something about a fresh start and needing to get away.."

"He'll come back right. I need to talk to him Dean says like he is actually hoping it isn't the end for them. I personally hope it is

"I don't know Deano. Maybe you should have said something to him sooner cause now it's too little too late." It really is. My brother told me he wasn't sure he'd come back. He said he was going for the whole summer but if he likes it down there then he might ask to stay. Something tells me he's not going to want to come back. I just wish I never agreed to live at home and commute to school. Sucks, I have no idea what I am going to do living in this big empty house by myself. .

"You're lying. You just don't want me to talk to him" Dean yells standing up. "Where is he?" he says with watery eyes.

"Sorry, buddy but Cassie is gone and he won't be back anytime soon."

**Tbc or The End? **

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**So here is the thing. I wrote this chapter to feel like an ending. Why i can cont. it i am not sure if i should. If you want to know what happens next then tell me and i will but if not then i will end it here. I am taking a break either way. I need to recharge for a few days or more. **

**please reveiw**


	40. Chapter 40 Jo

**Chapter 41 Castiel **

They say you can't run away from your problems. I say sometimes it's the only thing you can do. It's the only thing you can do when your problem is a person who is always around. Everywhere I went I was reminded of him or I saw him. Living in a small town and entering into a taboo relationship isn't such a good idea when that inevitable break up comes.

How could I be so stupid thinking that we would never end. How could I think that everything would work out in the end. I really thought we were in live and he just needed time. I can't believe I became one of those people I secretly judge. You know the ones who get their selves involved in a situation where the only outcome is trouble. Yes I am one of them.

To make things worse I actually thought there was hope when he showed up at my house back in May. When I saw him I secretly hoped he was there to win me back. In the weeks before he showed up, I actually talked myself into being okay with him having a child. I told myself that his child was innocent if he wanted to be with me then I would accept and eventually love his child. I actually still feel like that. How could I hate anything thing that is part of Dean?

Fear took over when he was standing there insisting he talk to me. I wanted to talk to him missed him so much. I just wanted to run into his arms and pick up where we left off. I didn't care Bella was caring his child. I actually saw it as an opportunity for us to move forward. The three of us could work out some arrangement. I always wanted to have children with him and I always knew that those children wouldn't be blood related. I could love that child and be a second father. I told myself that I had no problem with that and when the baby was with Bella we would have time to ourselves. I thought of everything.

I didn't dare share my thoughts with Jo or Gabriel. Jo tried her best to help me forget about him but I couldn't. I couldn't forget him. I can't forget him when he is always around. How can you get over someone like that?

When I ran away from him I ran to the only place I knew. I ran to my mother. I ran to her grave. I wish she was here in times like this. She would tell me what to do. I ran to where I knew she was. Once I got there it hit me. She isn't really here. She can't help me. Nobody can me. I did this to myself. I fell in love with him despite so many telltale warnings I ignored. I have no choice but accept my actions and deal with him. I could have walked away so many times but I didn't. Now it's too late. I am too far gone. I have no choice but accept what I have done and blame nobody but myself.

While I was kicking myself for doing to this to me, he showed up. Of course he would show up. He must have some radar of sensing when I am at my lowest. Whenever he senses it he shows up and helps go even lower. I thought ignoring him would make him go away but that didn't help. TO make him go away what do I do. I make myself feel even dumber by telling him I love him .Sure enough he answers his phone. I heard it buzzing in his pocket the whole time he was there. He never answered it until I tell him I love him. Of course he does that. I know he did that so he wouldn't have to answer. He answering the phone told me what I feared most. He doesn't love me back.

I watched him answer the phone before I took off. He doesn't love me back I get that now. I wasn't going to wait around for him to make some excuse on why he couldn't say it back. I call that moment the end where I begin. In that moment that it became clear; I need to get over him by any means. Of course I had no idea how to do such a thing until father showed up. HE always told me that I was welcome to come with him and yes I always said it would be the last thing I ever do but I had no choose. I need to get away from Dean. Out of sight out of mine right, at least that is what I was hoping as I boarded the airplane. I had no idea what was waiting for me what anything had to be better than the last three years.

Once I landed in North Carolina it felt like a wave washed over me cleansing me of every bad thing that ever happen to me. I looked around and saw a place where I could start over. It was a place where I could get over Dean.

So of course I wasn't off to a running start. It's just my luck. I had been here for two weeks and I was starting to go crazy. I knew nobody other than father, father's girlfriend Amelia and her daughter Claire. The town was small and didn't seem to have anything going for itself. Most of people talked with an accent and cooked food that would give me a heart attack by the time he was forty. I wanted to scream just drown out the thoughts in my head. I started to think coming here was a mistake until Claire who is a year younger than me finally invited me to hang out with her and her friends at a local Burger joint. I met about five of her closest friends. By the time introductions were over I forgotten everybody's name. They all seem friendly and welcoming except this one dark hair boy who just stared at me. I'm not gone lie him ignoring me makes me even more interested but I have to cut that out. While I did think it was odd the way he would watch him out the corner of his eyes when he thought I was not looking. It did start to make me wonder. Other than that it was a pleasant night.

One night when father was out with Amelia and Claire was nowhere to be found I found myself walking to the same burger place for something to eat. I seated myself in the back of the restaurant so I could watch the locals interact. Watching them is like watching animals in their natural habitat. Everything here is just so different here. The waitress had just taken my drink order when Claire's dark hair friend walked over and sat in my booth. He sat there with both of his arms spread across the booth as I finally got a good look. He has long dark hair and blue eyes. He sits there as he radiates cockiness. It would be a turn off for some but I kind of like it. He just sits there like we friends and this isn't awkward. It actually isn't.

"Something wrong with the other seats?" I asked. Despite my thoughts about tit I still wasn't really in the mood to talk. I just wanted to get something to eat, before I went home to watch reality TV before I fell asleep. I might be appear to be okay but I really am not. I am just putting up a good front.

"No" he says folding his arms on the table as he gives me a sexy grin. Now is the time where I have to stop. I am setting myself up for failure again.

"So why are you sitting here then." I asked getting annoyed. I am not in the mood to play games.

"You looked like you could use company." He says as he shrugs his shoulders before he flagged the waitress down. After this boy order his usual and I ordered whatever this mystery guy was having we went back to staring at each other. It's nice but it's not what I am use too.

"Your eyes are so blue." He says starring deeper into mine than I am his. That is different I am use to someone breaking eye contact, not commenting on them.

"Thank you" I say feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Soo how do you like it here in town?" He says changing his smile from cocky to shy.

"I don't like. It's quiet and country." I say with a straight face.

"Hey now I grew up here, watch what you say." He jokes while he points at me the way Jo would, when she was being serious. .

"I stand by what I said." I deadpan.

"Is that so? Where are you from?" He ask folding his arms on his chest. The whole time he hasn't broken eye contact.

"Kansas" I say a little embarrassed. He doesn't help once he burst into laughter. "What is so funny?" I ask tilting my head.

"You say this town is country but you are from Kansas, I've seen the Wizard of Oz and you cannot talk." He says still chuckling. He is lucky I like his laugh.

"You cannot compare a movie as old as such to my hometown." I say offended. Yes I might be from Kansas but it isn't like it this place. I have literally seen tumble weed just rolling around.

"Geez calm down, I was only kidding."

"I'm sorry." I say. I getting upset has nothing to do with this conversation but I need to let my anger out on something.

"It's cool. I'm Inias" he says holding his hand out.

"Castiel" I say shaking it.

"OH I remember" he says giving me that cocky grin. Our hand shake lingered a little longer then I was used to. "So Cas," he says pulling back his hand and giving a now flirty smile. Maybe I am imagining things. How did he know to call me Cas? Claire introduced me as Castiel. He calling me that hit a nerve. "What brings you here to my little country town?" My body stiffens when he heard the nickname Dean had given me all the years ago. He has to stop calling me that. I want nothing to remind me of him. Yes it is true since Inias had sat down across from me, I haven't given Dean a thought, but sadly he is now front in center in my mind. So far this summer isn't going the way I hoped and it isn't even Fourth of July.

"Something wrong?" Inias asks probably noticing my body language change.

"Please do not call me Cas. Call me Castiel." I say trying to change my mood. Out of sight out of mind, right?

"Ok Castiel it is then. So I repeat myself, what brings you to town?" I am refuse to tell him the whole truth. Maybe a half-truth can get me by.

"I came to visit my father. Can I ask you something?" I am not about to focus on me. That is the last thing I want to do.

"Go ahead." He says as his eyes tell me he is an open book.

"Why are you sitting here talking to me? I mean we met the other night and you barely spoke. I did not learn your name until today. Did Claire ask you to do this?" I say as I motion my hands between us.

"No." he laughs "Why would you think that?" Oh I don't know maybe I have been a mess this pass weeks and she feels bad for me. Then again she doesn't know what I sbother ing me. I haven't exactly come out yet.

"I already told you." I say as the waitress put two burgers and two plates of chili- cheese fries down in front of us. Okay listening to him say trust me worked out this time.

"OH yum. I love the fries here" Inias says ready to dig in. Maybe I should trust him. Trust him on the food not anything else. Not every place can make good fries. The dinner back in Lawrence proves it. See there I go thinking about Lawrence. I can't do that. I said I would forget that place.

"So are you going to answer my question?" I say once I think he is going to be evasive.

"Sorry, just when food is around I get distracted, but would you believe I was nervous around you. I mean I found you very attractive and wanted to talk to but I was afraid of you turning me down." He says before putting fries in his mouth. Wait he was nervous and found me attractive. Okay wait a minute. Is he hitting on me? I never had a guy hit on me. Yes girls of course. It happens all the time but back in Kansas I have to stay away from guys because I fear people finding out about me and then them suspecting Dean. There I go again. Lawrence is a thing of the past. I can be whoever I want here and fear nobody finding out because I don't care.

"Really" I say feeling a little bit too excited. It has been months since I felt anything remotely close to joy. Now here I am and some cute guy is hitting on me. Coming here turned out to be such a good idea. Even if nothing pans out tonight I now know there are guys out there that do not hide.

"Yeah" he says with a mouth full of food. "I only came over here because I saw you checking out some guy's ass. I figured I might as well go for it." He says as I can't help but laugh. It's nice to laugh again.

"Well I'm flattered." Is all I can say. I don't want to talk to much or say the wrong thing.

"You better be. Do you see me?" he jokes as he motions his hands up and down his body. Both of us let out a small laugh before we smiled and look at each other. When I look into Inias eyes I saw hope. I saw the hope that I might be able to find happiness again. This summer might be so bad after all. I have a cute gut hitting on me. All I can see is possibilities right now.

After two hours of eating and getting to know each other, Inias insisted on paying the bill. Once things were settled, he walked me home. I never have been walked home before. This is so different.

"You know I had a nice time." I say standing in front of my new home. I kind of don't want tonight to end.

"I know it was an awesome first date." Inias says moving closer to me. What is he doing. I had a good time but I am not ready for anything else although I wouldn't mind bending him over. Okay why do I feel so guilty?

"This was a date." I say trying to play it cool.

"Hell yeah man. You think I pay for everybody that is new in town. Pleaseee." He says looking up into my eyes. It was the first time I noticed the height difference. I actually have a good four inches on him at least. This could be fun, wait what am I saying.

"Then perhaps for our second I should treat." I say looking down at him. A second, did I just say that. Am I even ready? How can I look into another guy eyes that aren't his shade of green.

"There's going to be a second?" Inias asks playfully.

"Only if you are a good kisser." I teased. What am I doing? I don't feel right about this.

"Oh I'm good. You can ask anybody." He says while he laced his fingers with mines.

"I rather find out for myself." I say as I pull him into a kiss. I didn't really want to do it but why stop when I am ahead. I would like to know what is like kissing another guy. Kissing him was-

"OMG" Gabriel says as he interrupted my story. Of course he would.

"OMG really" Jo says as he voice knocks me completely out of my memories. "What are you a cheerleader?"

"No my darling, that would be you." He says in his usually flirty tone.

"Seriously you have been around Heather too long." JO says in a voice unlined with jealously

"Now who's-"

"Hey you two promised not to interrupt." I say cutting off Gabriel. These two can do this when I am not on the phone.

"Yeah we did but we don't want to hear about kissing some dude. You were about to give us a play by play. I love you bro but yeah something's I do not want to know." Gabriel says annoying me on some level.

"Fine" I say hoping to move along. There is still more to tell.

"So did you like the kiss?" Jo asks curious.

"I did but-" I say as I hesitated.

"But what?" she asks

"It didn't feel the same as when I kiss Dean." I say as he pops into my mind.

"Okay so why aren't you coming home?" Gabriel asks.

"Well you cut me off before I could get to that?"

"Fine continue " he says as I try to remember where I left off.

"Of course not, they are two different people. You should know this by now and by the way, we are not talking about him. We are talking about your new boy toy." Gabriel said

"You are right Gabriel." Castiel said as he wondered what Dean was doing.

"OK so I'm guessing you two went on a second date." Jo said

"Yes and a third but it wasn't until the fourth date I started to really feel something for him" Castiel said

"What do you mean" Asked Jo. Castiel took a deep breathe to clear Dean from his mind before he spoke. "OK so here's what happen….

To be continued


	41. Chapter 41 Cas

**So no reviews no update **

**Here is the next chapter. If you are wondering what is up Cas here is your chance to know. **

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**Chapter 41 Castiel **

They say you can't run away from your problems. I say sometimes it's the only thing you can do. It's the only thing you can do when your problem is a person who is always around. Everywhere I went I was reminded of him or I saw him. Living in a small town and entering into a taboo relationship isn't such a good idea when that inevitable break up comes.

How could I be so stupid thinking that we would never end. How could I think that everything would work out in the end. I really thought we were in live and he just needed time. I can't believe I became one of those people I secretly judge. You know the ones who get their selves involved in a situation where the only outcome is trouble. Yes I am one of them.

To make things worse I actually thought there was hope when he showed up at my house back in May. When I saw him I secretly hoped he was there to win me back. In the weeks before he showed up, I actually talked myself into being okay with him having a child. I told myself that his child was innocent if he wanted to be with me then I would accept and eventually love his child. I actually still feel like that. How could I hate anything thing that is part of Dean?

Fear took over when he was standing there insisting he talk to me. I wanted to talk to him missed him so much. I just wanted to run into his arms and pick up where we left off. I didn't care Bella was caring his child. I actually saw it as an opportunity for us to move forward. The three of us could work out some arrangement. I always wanted to have children with him and I always knew that those children wouldn't be blood related. I could love that child and be a second father. I told myself that I had no problem with that and when the baby was with Bella we would have time to ourselves. I thought of everything.

I didn't dare share my thoughts with Jo or Gabriel. Jo tried her best to help me forget about him but I couldn't. I couldn't forget him. I can't forget him when he is always around. How can you get over someone like that?

When I ran away from him I ran to the only place I knew. I ran to my mother. I ran to her grave. I wish she was here in times like this. She would tell me what to do. I ran to where I knew she was. Once I got there it hit me. She isn't really here. She can't help me. Nobody can me. I did this to myself. I fell in love with him despite so many telltale warnings I ignored. I have no choice but accept my actions and deal with him. I could have walked away so many times but I didn't. Now it's too late. I am too far gone. I have no choice but accept what I have done and blame nobody but myself.

While I was kicking myself for doing to this to me, he showed up. Of course he would show up. He must have some radar of sensing when I am at my lowest. Whenever he senses it he shows up and helps go even lower. I thought ignoring him would make him go away but that didn't help. TO make him go away what do I do. I make myself feel even dumber by telling him I love him .Sure enough he answers his phone. I heard it buzzing in his pocket the whole time he was there. He never answered it until I tell him I love him. Of course he does that. I know he did that so he wouldn't have to answer. He answering the phone told me what I feared most. He doesn't love me back.

I watched him answer the phone before I took off. He doesn't love me back I get that now. I wasn't going to wait around for him to make some excuse on why he couldn't say it back. I call that moment the end where I begin. In that moment that it became clear; I need to get over him by any means. Of course I had no idea how to do such a thing until father showed up. HE always told me that I was welcome to come with him and yes I always said it would be the last thing I ever do but I had no choose. I need to get away from Dean. Out of sight out of mine right, at least that is what I was hoping as I boarded the airplane. I had no idea what was waiting for me what anything had to be better than the last three years.

Once I landed in North Carolina it felt like a wave washed over me cleansing me of every bad thing that ever happen to me. I looked around and saw a place where I could start over. It was a place where I could get over Dean.

So of course I wasn't off to a running start. It's just my luck. I had been here for two weeks and I was starting to go crazy. I knew nobody other than father, father's girlfriend Amelia and her daughter Claire. The town was small and didn't seem to have anything going for itself. Most of people talked with an accent and cooked food that would give me a heart attack by the time he was forty. I wanted to scream just drown out the thoughts in my head. I started to think coming here was a mistake until Claire who is a year younger than me finally invited me to hang out with her and her friends at a local Burger joint. I met about five of her closest friends. By the time introductions were over I forgotten everybody's name. They all seem friendly and welcoming except this one dark hair boy who just stared at me. I'm not gone lie him ignoring me makes me even more interested but I have to cut that out. While I did think it was odd the way he would watch him out the corner of his eyes when he thought I was not looking. It did start to make me wonder. Other than that it was a pleasant night.

One night when father was out with Amelia and Claire was nowhere to be found I found myself walking to the same burger place for something to eat. I seated myself in the back of the restaurant so I could watch the locals interact. Watching them is like watching animals in their natural habitat. Everything here is just so different here. The waitress had just taken my drink order when Claire's dark hair friend walked over and sat in my booth. He sat there with both of his arms spread across the booth as I finally got a good look. He has long dark hair and blue eyes. He sits there as he radiates cockiness. It would be a turn off for some but I kind of like it. He just sits there like we friends and this isn't awkward. It actually isn't.

"Something wrong with the other seats?" I asked. Despite my thoughts about tit I still wasn't really in the mood to talk. I just wanted to get something to eat, before I went home to watch reality TV before I fell asleep. I might be appear to be okay but I really am not. I am just putting up a good front.

"No" he says folding his arms on the table as he gives me a sexy grin. Now is the time where I have to stop. I am setting myself up for failure again.

"So why are you sitting here then." I asked getting annoyed. I am not in the mood to play games.

"You looked like you could use company." He says as he shrugs his shoulders before he flagged the waitress down. After this boy order his usual and I ordered whatever this mystery guy was having we went back to staring at each other. It's nice but it's not what I am use too.

"Your eyes are so blue." He says starring deeper into mine than I am his. That is different I am use to someone breaking eye contact, not commenting on them.

"Thank you" I say feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Soo how do you like it here in town?" He says changing his smile from cocky to shy.

"I don't like. It's quiet and country." I say with a straight face.

"Hey now I grew up here, watch what you say." He jokes while he points at me the way Jo would, when she was being serious. .

"I stand by what I said." I deadpan.

"Is that so? Where are you from?" He ask folding his arms on his chest. The whole time he hasn't broken eye contact.

"Kansas" I say a little embarrassed. He doesn't help once he burst into laughter. "What is so funny?" I ask tilting my head.

"You say this town is country but you are from Kansas, I've seen the Wizard of Oz and you cannot talk." He says still chuckling. He is lucky I like his laugh.

"You cannot compare a movie as old as such to my hometown." I say offended. Yes I might be from Kansas but it isn't like it this place. I have literally seen tumble weed just rolling around.

"Geez calm down, I was only kidding."

"I'm sorry." I say. I getting upset has nothing to do with this conversation but I need to let my anger out on something.

"It's cool. I'm Inias" he says holding his hand out.

"Castiel" I say shaking it.

"OH I remember" he says giving me that cocky grin. Our hand shake lingered a little longer then I was used to. "So Cas," he says pulling back his hand and giving a now flirty smile. Maybe I am imagining things. How did he know to call me Cas? Claire introduced me as Castiel. He calling me that hit a nerve. "What brings you here to my little country town?" My body stiffens when he heard the nickname Dean had given me all the years ago. He has to stop calling me that. I want nothing to remind me of him. Yes it is true since Inias had sat down across from me, I haven't given Dean a thought, but sadly he is now front in center in my mind. So far this summer isn't going the way I hoped and it isn't even Fourth of July.

"Something wrong?" Inias asks probably noticing my body language change.

"Please do not call me Cas. Call me Castiel." I say trying to change my mood. Out of sight out of mind, right?

"Ok Castiel it is then. So I repeat myself, what brings you to town?" I am refuse to tell him the whole truth. Maybe a half-truth can get me by.

"I came to visit my father. Can I ask you something?" I am not about to focus on me. That is the last thing I want to do.

"Go ahead." He says as his eyes tell me he is an open book.

"Why are you sitting here talking to me? I mean we met the other night and you barely spoke. I did not learn your name until today. Did Claire ask you to do this?" I say as I motion my hands between us.

"No." he laughs "Why would you think that?" Oh I don't know maybe I have been a mess this pass weeks and she feels bad for me. Then again she doesn't know what I sbother ing me. I haven't exactly come out yet.

"I already told you." I say as the waitress put two burgers and two plates of chili- cheese fries down in front of us. Okay listening to him say trust me worked out this time.

"OH yum. I love the fries here" Inias says ready to dig in. Maybe I should trust him. Trust him on the food not anything else. Not every place can make good fries. The dinner back in Lawrence proves it. See there I go thinking about Lawrence. I can't do that. I said I would forget that place.

"So are you going to answer my question?" I say once I think he is going to be evasive.

"Sorry, just when food is around I get distracted, but would you believe I was nervous around you. I mean I found you very attractive and wanted to talk to but I was afraid of you turning me down." He says before putting fries in his mouth. Wait he was nervous and found me attractive. Okay wait a minute. Is he hitting on me? I never had a guy hit on me. Yes girls of course. It happens all the time but back in Kansas I have to stay away from guys because I fear people finding out about me and then them suspecting Dean. There I go again. Lawrence is a thing of the past. I can be whoever I want here and fear nobody finding out because I don't care.

"Really" I say feeling a little bit too excited. It has been months since I felt anything remotely close to joy. Now here I am and some cute guy is hitting on me. Coming here turned out to be such a good idea. Even if nothing pans out tonight I now know there are guys out there that do not hide.

"Yeah" he says with a mouth full of food. "I only came over here because I saw you checking out some guy's ass. I figured I might as well go for it." He says as I can't help but laugh. It's nice to laugh again.

"Well I'm flattered." Is all I can say. I don't want to talk to much or say the wrong thing.

"You better be. Do you see me?" he jokes as he motions his hands up and down his body. Both of us let out a small laugh before we smiled and look at each other. When I look into Inias eyes I saw hope. I saw the hope that I might be able to find happiness again. This summer might be so bad after all. I have a cute gut hitting on me. All I can see is possibilities right now.

After two hours of eating and getting to know each other, Inias insisted on paying the bill. Once things were settled, he walked me home. I never have been walked home before. This is so different.

"You know I had a nice time." I say standing in front of my new home. I kind of don't want tonight to end.

"I know it was an awesome first date." Inias says moving closer to me. What is he doing. I had a good time but I am not ready for anything else although I wouldn't mind bending him over. Okay why do I feel so guilty?

"This was a date." I say trying to play it cool.

"Hell yeah man. You think I pay for everybody that is new in town. Pleaseee." He says looking up into my eyes. It was the first time I noticed the height difference. I actually have a good four inches on him at least. This could be fun, wait what am I saying.

"Then perhaps for our second I should treat." I say looking down at him. A second, did I just say that. Am I even ready? How can I look into another guy eyes that aren't his shade of green.

"There's going to be a second?" Inias asks playfully.

"Only if you are a good kisser." I teased. What am I doing? I don't feel right about this.

"Oh I'm good. You can ask anybody." He says while he laced his fingers with mines.

"I rather find out for myself." I say as I pull him into a kiss. I didn't really want to do it but why stop when I am ahead. I would like to know what is like kissing another guy. Kissing him was-

"OMG" Gabriel says as he interrupted my story. Of course he would.

"OMG really" Jo says as he voice knocks me completely out of my memories. "What are you a cheerleader?"

"No my darling, that would be you." He says in his usually flirty tone.

"Seriously you have been around Heather too long." JO says in a voice unlined with jealously

"Now who's-"

"Hey you two promised not to interrupt." I say cutting off Gabriel. These two can do this when I am not on the phone.

"Yeah we did but we don't want to hear about kissing some dude. You were about to give us a play by play. I love you bro but yeah something's I do not want to know." Gabriel says annoying me on some level.

"Fine" I say hoping to move along. There is still more to tell.

"So did you like the kiss?" Jo asks curious.

"I did but-" I say as I hesitated.

"But what?" she asks

"It didn't feel the same as when I kiss Dean." I say as he pops into my mind.

"Okay so why aren't you coming home?" Gabriel asks.

"Well you cut me off before I could get to that?"

"Fine continue " he says as I try to remember where I left off.

"Of course not, they are two different people. You should know this by now and by the way, we are not talking about him. We are talking about your new boy toy." Gabriel said

"You are right Gabriel." Castiel said as he wondered what Dean was doing.

"OK so I'm guessing you two went on a second date." Jo said

"Yes and a third but it wasn't until the fourth date I started to really feel something for him" Castiel said

"What do you mean" Asked Jo. Castiel took a deep breathe to clear Dean from his mind before he spoke. "OK so here's what happen….

_**To be continued**_

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**So what do you think?**

**CAs met someone and it's guy. He seems to like him even though he isn't dean. Oh no what is going to happen.**

**Review if you want to know?**

**I work all weekend i might forget to update if i don't have reviews.**

**Seriously no reviews no updates. **


	42. Chapter 42 Castiel

**Thank you for the reviews. I love reading them. I loved them so much i came straight home form work and decided to update this chapter.**

**To Mini my loyal reader i love you for reading this. Moving can suck. I have bee there. I hope things settle for you soon. I moved back in august and i still haven't unpack a lot of my stuff. Now to answer some of your questions Yes Dean and Bella are together( Uggg) It's no time for them to break up but i do promise a break up at some point. Jo and Gabe are in a gray area. I am sorry but that is all i can say without giving to much away, but i will say this. I promise and ending you won't forget. **

**To hooked I hope hooked means you are hooked on this story. I also love you too. Thank you for reading. I have to say you are kind of reading my mind. This chapter will tell you what i was thinking. You said you would love to see Dean's reaction d i promise Dean will have a reaction but it might not be what you think. **

**Okay i am done. Thank you to who ever else is reading this. I hope you enjoy part 2 of Castiel's summer.**

**Review and you will know more.**

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**C****hapter 42 Castiel **

So after that night I spent a lot of time with him. Some nights it was just us, other nights we hung out with his friends and that includes Claire. I thought she say something or at least raise an eyebrow at least but she hasn't even batted an eye. I almost wan to task her but why ruin it, but back to him.

I actually have been having a great time with him. He took me to his friends cook out and he didn't pretend like we were just friends. He has no fear of what people think. I was really enjoying myself. We had always gone out all the time so I actually was surprised when he invited me over his place. I'll admit it I was a little nervous. He invited me over two weeks after that night in the diner. When I got there all my nerves disappeared. I walked into house and realized something. For the first time in a long time things felt easy especially when I was with him. There was drama, no sneaking around, no one constantly lying to me. It was just pure and exciting. We spent six days a week with each other and after I would get back home we would sit on the phone and talk until one of us fell asleep. Of course I couldn't help but think that our relationship was supposed to be how a relationship was supposed to be. It was just easy with him. Everything was just so easy with him. For the first time I felt like I could breathe.

So I went to his house. It was a really hot day and Inias has an in ground pool and invited me to go swimming. I feel in love with the idea since I haven't been swimming all year. I thought back to the last time I went swimming and it made my heart dropped. It was the previous summer when me and Dean went skinny dippy at the lake. I caught myself about to cry when suddenly my whole body was falling into the pool. When I came up for air I saw Inias standing at the edge laughing. I said nothing as I climbed out. I pretended like I was going to do anything before I grabbed him by the waste pulled us both into the pool.

"Hey" I shouted when we both came to the surface. He tried to submerge me again but I moved in time.

"OH what are you scared" Inias says trying to chase after me. He looked around for me as I swam under water. I came up and grab him quickly as I picked him up and threw him. I watched him fly for a second before he landed in the pool again.

"Hey no fair." He says as he comes up.

"You started it." I say as I sit on the edge of the pool. Inias swam up to me and position myself between my legs. He then laid his head on my lap. I can't help but think it feels nice. It's too bad I can't have this all the time.

"So where are your parents?" I ask truing to distract myself. His face was real close to my crotch. I am starting to get ideas but I don't want to go there. When I ever I go there I make mistakes.

"At work" he says looking up at me.

"Will they be home soon?" I ask shifting. I really have to focus. I am too seconds from shoving my dick in his mouth.

"No" Inias says as he makes his way out the pool and motions for me to follow him though the back door. . "You coming" he yells before stepping into the kitchen.

When I finally walked into the kitchen Inias was making sandwiches for the two of us. It took me a few minutes to follow. I need time to fix myself if you know what I mean?

"So Castiel, I was thinking." He says as he spread mustard on the bread. He knows I like mustard and not mayo. I have to remind Dean all the time I don't like mayo. Usually by this point he has to throw out the bread and remake the sandwich. "Remember my friend Dave." He asks looking at me. I remember him kind of. I know Claire introduced me to him but I can't remember what he likes. I just played it safe and nodded my head to signal for him to keep talking. "He's having a pool party at his house this week. I was wondering if you like to be my date." He asks nervously. This is new. He is usually confident. Okay now I remember Dave is his best friend. I have hung with him but I guess this is chance to really get to know him. Am I ready for that? It is a big step right. I mean is this going to last past the summer.

"You want to introduce me to your best friend. Like take me around him? Didn't you say he was like family? " I ask while feeling shocked and confused. Inias looked at me with bewilderment. "Yeah I mean we are kind of dating. Don't you think you should get to know him better. He is like my brother."

"Won't that be like I don't know weird? I mean you haven't been exactly shy about me but won't that tell people you know like we are dating.

"Yeah we are dating. Why wouldn't I want that?" he asks cutting the sandwiches in half. I just shook my head I am still so surprised I was having this conversation. Dean would never this. He wouldn't? I mean he just never been so open like he is?

"Hey I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have asked. I just assumed. It was stupid on me." I said nothing as I walked around to the other side of the island. I pressed my body against his as I wrapped my hands around his waist.

"Don't apologize. I like the fact that you want to introduce me properly to your best friend. I am not ashamed of who I am. I am just surprised you are out and open. I am just surprise you have the balls."

"You're not out back home?" he asked while spinning around to face me. "I mean are you not out the closet."

"Not really, but I rather not get into why." I say still holding him. Have been having a great time the last thing I want to do is talk about the past.

" You don't have too. I don't care about who you were then. I just care who you are now."

"Good." I say smiling

"Not to be assuming and all but are saying you will be my date?" he askes wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Yes" I said before I kissed him.

"It sucks you have to leave at the end of the summer. I really like kissing those soft pink lips of yours" Inias says after breaking the kiss.

"I don't have to go back. I came here to see if I would like to live here." I say smiling at him. Yes I know this shocking but what am I going back too. Should I go back to a guy who is having a baby with someone he shouldn't be with? Should I go back to living in secret? No I am not doing that. It's time I only thought of me.

"OH you shouldn't say things like that. It gets me hot and bothered." He says grinding against me. I couldn't help but groaned at the pleasure. It sent shock waves through my body. It's been a while since I had any kind of action.

"Don't start anything you can't finish." I growled into his arm as I gripped his ass. I felt Inias shiver as my lips touched his ear. I swear it works every time I'm glad it is working because I intensely felt all the blood rush to my groin.

"Oh don't worry" Inias said before he dropped down to his knees

"CASTIEL!" Gabriel yells cutting me off again

"What?" I groaned like I didn't know. Okay sometimes it is hard where the line is with Gabriel and that can go both ways. I hope that makes sense.

"We do not want to hear about your perverted adventures as some guy's bottom." Gabriel says as he acts like he is gagging. Why does he have to be so dramatic at time?

"I do not bottom Gabriel" I say in a serious tone. I mean come on he should know this. We are inappropriately close at times.

"Seriously like not ever." He ask surprised.

"No not ever" Is he serious. Okay it's me saying this weird but he's room is right next to me and from the sounds and "conversations: that have come from my room he should know.

"Not even with Dean." Now I think he is just acting stupid.

"No." I say confused. Why is he evening bringing it up?

"Oh my god, wait until I talk to him. It was just that one day my ass. Oh I can't wait." Gabriel says as I hear him clapping his hands. I can picture him right now. I bet he has that evil grin of his on his face right now.

"Gabriel you're getting off topic" Jo finally chimes in. I was wondering when she was going to say something.

"Right, sorry Cassie. So you slept with him."

"Yes"

"How was it?" Jo asks. How was it? It was nice. It was real nice. I never used Extra Virgin Olive oil as a lube before. That was different. I liked sleeping with him but I wouldn't put in my greatest night. They still belong to Dean but he has potential. I wanted to do it again and I did. Like every other day but I never looked into his eyes.

"It was good." I say as I feel guilt deep inside. I shouldn't be feeling that?

"So having sex with him made you like him more?" Gabriel asks confused. No it didn't. Having sex with him made me realize I can maybe move on one day.

"It's not like that?" I say as I take a breath.

"Then what is it like?" he ask. Why does is he questioning me. He isn't supposed to be asking questions. He is just supposed to just listen.

"I'll tell you what it is like." Jo says. Oh great here she goes.

"What is it like?" I ask preparing for a speech.

"Look" she says as she hesitates for a minute. "I am happy you met someone but it's not real. "Before you say anything, just hear me out. You have been though a lot and I get why you want to stay but it isn't real. You are on the rebound. "

"That's a lie." I Say feeling myself grow angry.

"Oh it's the truth and you know it?' Gabriel chimes in. Who asked them anyways? I don't remember asking them.

"I like him and being here and I think I could actually start over. I am not coming back. I cannot watch Bella carry Dean's child. I thought I could be okay with it but I know I could never.

"Bella isn't pregnant." Jo says.

"What?" I am shocked. When did this happen.

"If you answered your phone you would know." Jo says in her know it all voice. Okay if I had known this early it might have changed my whole mind set but nothing can change my mind. I am staying.

"Look you like him. You are supposed to like your flings. That is what makes them fun but you don't like him" Gabriel says.

"Then what do I like?" I ask. I get he is trying to be the wise older brother but I don't need to hear it this time. It's too little too late.

"You like the fact he wants to be seen in public with you. He wants to introduce you as someone he is dating. I mean he isn't afraid to kiss you or hold your hand in public. He seems like a really nice guy and his friends sound really cool too. You get along with everyone. It sounds so good but come on. It sounds too good to be true. Plus you can't start something new without finishing something else."

"He right Cas. We hate you have been hurt but you need to face your hurt not run away and hide. You can't enter a relationship with so much baggage. It isn't fair to him."

"How isn't it? How am I not being fair to him?" I really want to know. I would be with him and only him, How am I not being fair?

"You still are in love with Dean." Jo says. I think she just wants that.

"Yeah but I will always love him. I can love him and learn to someone else."

"DO you hear yourself? You don't learn to love someone. You just fall in love. You can't help it or fight it. You just do it. " Gabriel says a little frustrated. I wonder if he is just talking about me. I bet he was looking at Jo while he said that. I know he was. The line got real quiet for a few minutes.

"Life isn't like that and I haven't thought Dean all summer." I point out. I really never directly thought of him.

"You do still think about Dean?" Gabriel asked bluntly. What kind of question is that? I don't think of him. Okay now I am thinking about him but all I feel is hate.

"I do not?" I say hoping he drops the subject, but it is just wishful thinking. I am hoping Jo will jump in and shut him up, but part of her charm is to let people go when she feel he is right.

"Oh come on. Just admit it?" I paused for a minute thinking how to answer. Well they say you can't fight quick sand.

"Yes I do but it's the same way I use too" I answer hoping he will cut me a break. I am starting to feel attacked and I do not like being attacked. I hate Dean now. Whether or not he is having a bay I still hate him.

"Can you see yourself falling for this other guy? I mean really falling. Like falling head over heels? I am talking not learning to love but just tripping and falling in too deep because that is how it is supposed to be." Jo asks. Again she I think they aren't just talking about me. There is another silence. I wish there wasn't. It gave me too much time to think. I do miss him I do miss the way things were.

"I….II I don't know" I answer trying to fill the silence.

"Just what I thought." Gabriel finally says.

"What?" I say not really following. He says something but I don't know I started thinking of Dean. Damn them I went all summer forgetting him kind of and he is front and center in my mind, He might be front and center but the pain I feel is reminding why I want to stay

"You know what I am talking about?" Gabriel says Jo. I wish I knew.

"Of course how could I miss it? Damn. I guess I wanted him to be so happy I choose to believe his bull." What is he talking about? Was she starting to support me before Gabriel changed her mind? Oh come on. I never fought with my brother before and I don't want to start but if I don't hang up then I will. Why can't he just support me?

"Guys this isn't funny the voice says I am almost of minutes" I yelled into the phone. Why do I still have a minute phone. I never really talked on the phone with Dean and I usually talk to Inias on the house phone. I should look into getting a monthly.

"Fine I'll just make this short. Just stop making excused little bro we are going to finish this conversation, but I will let you go for now." No we aren't.

"What conversation. You mean where you tell me what I should do. You can try but you won't change my mind. I need this fresh start." I say hoping to hang up.

"Well if I don't then who will. Cause all I see is you lying to yourself." Okay time to hang up. I like my relationship with my brother and if I want to keep it I need to hang up and not talk to him for a month. I will miss him and Jo but it's for the best.

"No Gabriel this is me dealing. This is me moving on."

"No this you rebounding." Jo chimes in. I say getting pissed.

"It's not" I defended

"Sure keep lying to yourself." Gabriel says. Okay I am done with this conversations and their opinions I didn't ask for.

"Shut up Gabriel. I called to discuss the possibility of returning home, but after talking with you guys it made me realize how happy I am over here. I have not been this happy in months and you want to tell me it's not real." I am lying. I called to tell them I wouldn't be returning but I wanted to make them feel bad.

"Cas I do not think that is what his saying." Jo says trying to reason with me

"Oh come on Jo. You are right over there with him. You two think a like when it comes to stuff like this." It's true. They are so annoyingly right at times but lucky they are annoyingly wrong this time. I miss the days where they didn't talk.

"Cas I_"

"Save it" I say as I interrupted my brother. "I do not care for your opinions anymore. I am staying here so either accept it or not, either way I do not give a damn anymore." I shouted into the phone before I slammed it shut. I am the only person with a flip phone.

I have no idea how the conversation got so heated. It might not have been on there part but by the end of it I was ready to kill them. How dare they try to say I wasn't over Dean? Sure I still feel something for him but I know to never go back. Inias might not be a long term thing who knows things might change. I'm sure it could never be what I had with Dean but I don't ever want that. Inias is just what I need right now and maybe what I might need in the future. I have no idea where we could go but hey I like that. I don't care what anybody say, I am going to stick with him for a while.

I need to clear my head I knew exactly what to do. I think I will surprise Inias and we will do something fun. As I got an idea about what to do today I made my way down stairs. Once I reached the living room I ran into my father siting there like he was waiting for me.

"Hey Dad" I say as I found it odd that he was sitting there looking into space.

"Hey son I been waiting for you." Okay this not creepy at all. My father likes solitude. He can do this.

"Why?" I ask titling my head.

"We have to talk son. Come sit." He says patting the seat next to him, I walked over to my father and sat down. He took a deep breath before he spoke. He placed his hand on my shoulder and says "Son I love you, but you can't stay here. You have to go back to Kansas."

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**Okay what did you think. Are Jo and Gabriel right? DO you think Cas is really ready to move on or is he just full of crap. Review and i will come home from work and update. The sooner you review the sooner you will know where the hell James (Cas's dad is talking about.) Don't review and i will take my time. Remember i am only off Tuesday's and Thursday's **

**Spoilers remember how Castiel feels about his dad well i will go in depth with that plus i will get into him "Not thinking about Dean"**


	43. Chapter 43 Cas

**Thank you for reading the last chapter even though you did not review. I only updated because of the number of views. **

**So i am off the next two days. I can update before than if you review. I usually work Wednesday though Sunday. I know it's weird but people like to drink on those days. So you guys here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. **

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**Chapter 43 Castiel **

I can't stay here. Did my father just kick me out? How could he? I am his son how can he say I can't be here. What kind of father would throw out their own child. You know what I am not surprised. Of course he doesn't want me here. I remind him too much of my mother. We all do. Ever since she died he has changed. He acts as if he wants nothing to do with us and he proved that when he left us and moved here. He talked a good game about us wanting to move her if we wanted but I see that is all a lie. I think I might actually be starting to resent him. What do I say to him to now?

I sat on the edge of couch with my mouth slightly open. I opened and closed my mouth several times trying to speak but nothing came out. All I could do was feel my emotions. So many swimming around inside of me, none I can express. I sat there feeling anger slowly rising inside of me. I want to hit my dad but I know I can't. My dad looked at me with guilt in his eyes. Is he starting to feel guilty for abandoning me and my brothers? He looks like he has so much to say. I think I should let him speak before I totally write him off.

"Maybe I shouldn't have lead with that." My dad says changing the expression on his face. All of sudden his face went from sorrow to cheerful. Does he think that it will work? I will hear him out but I don't think it will change how I feel.

My dad also known as Jimmy cleared his throat a few times and sat back on the couch. He looked at me and asked "Have you enjoyed your summer?" Really he wants to do this now. We have gone all summer have vague conversations all summer. Couldn't we just keep this up until I graduate and head off to college.

"Yes I did." I say as tilt my head wondering how him asking me that is going to help or how it is going to relate to him throwing me out.

"Good I'm glad" he says kind of awkward. "You made friends while you were here?" he says as more of a statement then a question.

"Yes I did. I only made them because of Claire, but you already knew that." I say kind of frustrated. I don't want to have this conversation. I had a pretty great summer and this is ruining it. Why doesn't my dad love me? I know I sound dramatic but that is how I feel.

"Well I'm glad she made you feel welcome here and her mother's really became fond of you." Oh great another reason to hate him. He could have blamed it on Amelia. Amelia is Claire's mom and My dad's live in girlfriend. If he blamed it on her I would have believed him. I just need any reason not to hate my dad.

"The feeling is mutual" I say trying to figure out his pint. I'm not lying by the way. I am fond of her. I seemed to have more of a connection with her than I do him.

"So you really want to stay here." Why is he asking me that? I told him last week I wanted to stay. He said okay and that was the end of it. Did he think I change my mind? This just proves my father has no idea about what is going on in my life.

"Yes dad I do. I like it here. It's better than I expected it to be." Which is true? I planned to stay here all along but staying here has turned out different than I expected. I expected to spend the next year alone just trying to get by. I never thought I meet someone or make friends. Well they haven't become my friends yet but it's only a matter of time before they do.

"I told you it wasn't so bad, but son I want to know what changed your mind." I paused for r a moment and thought of all the reasons that made me want to stay. I hate to admit this but I only came up with one answer. I don't need to name it directly.

"I think I am ready for a change." I say lying. Hopefully he accepts that. I hope he does but I see we are in the beginning of a heart to heart.

"That's a little vague. Care to explain what bought this on." Of course.

"I just don't think there is anything for me back in Lawrence." That is actually the truth. Bella might have had a miscarriage but Jo and Gabriel never said anything about them breaking up. Even if they did break up, Dean would want to be together in secret. That's even if he wants to still be with me. I doubt he does. I told him I love him and he could answer the phone fast enough. I wonder how he would reject me if his phone didn't ring.

"Since when? You loved it there." He says so shocked. I can tell it's an act.

"Key word it loved, as in past tense." I say getting more annoyed by the second. The two of us sat here looking at each other hoping the other would say something first. Finally my dad spoke up.

"Confession time." He says before taking a deep breath. About time, he actually stoped beating around the brush. "I don't think I have been the best father." I am surprised. He actually figured it out. I wonder what bought on this revelation.

"Dad I don't think-"

"Please son" He says cutting me off. Why am I trying to make up an excuse. He hasn't been a great father. Why am I trying to make him feel belter? Thank god he cut me off. I have no idea what I am going to say to him.

"I know I haven't and I think I have to own up to it and start making a change. You know?" Yeah I know but I want to know why he is doing this now. Do opt get me wrong? I am happy he own up to it but I am confused. He kicks me out and then says he hasn't been the best father. If he truly wanted to change that why would he throw me out.

"No dad I do not know. What are you saying? You want to be a good dad by sending me away from you." I say hoping he realizes he isn't making sense.

"Yes…. Well no… Okay… here's the thing. When I got to Lawrence for Gabriel graduation I took one look at you and saw all this hurt and pain on your face." My eyes popped out of my head. I could feel my eyes sitting outside my face as I wondered how he knew. My dad hasn't paid attention to me in years and yet he knows something was wrong. Was I that obvious? Have I really been showing my emotions? I thought I was doing a good job at hiding it. I thought Jo and Gabriel were just saying I looked bad because they knew what was going on with me.

"Dad I do not know what you are talking about?" I said lying. I hope he believes me. I am trying really hard here.

"Please tell that shit to someone else. I know the look, that look." He says pointing to my face. "You have the look." What look? I think I have an idea of what the look is. I think I have saw it on Gabriel but I always made sure to check my face before looking at people. I made damn sure to hide it when I came here. How could my dad actually see it?

"What look?" I say again hoping he drop it.

"The one a person has when someone breaks their heart." Okay I see he isn't going to drop it. Yes I was heartbroken but I no longer feel that pain. How can he say I am still heart broken when I don't feel pain anymore? I am getting real sick of this.

"NO one broke my heart." I growled. Yes I am lying but he is the last person I want to talk about it with.

"Easy there. I am only telling you what I see." He says putting his hand up in a defensive position.

"And you saw a broken heart." I say it like he would really know. I am starting to think he is just grasping at straws. I think he might have taken a guess and got lucking.

"Yes. I saw all the pain you were feeling and you know what? I still see it. It's not over your whole face but it is still in your eyes." Can he please shut up?

"Dad I am no longer hurt." Why did I say that? Now he knows he is right. Oh what am I saying? My dad can read people well. How can I forget that?

"No you are over the initial shock that comes with hurt, but you are still hurting. So much that you think running away will help, but you know what. It won't help. NO matter where you go it will follow you." Running away, I am not running away. Why do people keep saying that to me? I am not running. I am just trying to start over.

"Dad I am ok trust me."

"Maybe you are today but you're not. You need closure son and you won't get it here." What is closure? Closure is nothing but wishful thinking? Fuck it and or forget it. Closure doesn't exist. Closure is something people think they get once they think they have the upper hand.

Okay now how do I explain that to him?

Before I spoke I took a deep breath "Dad I admit I let someone break my heart, but I know that person will not apologize. Well not whole heartily at least. They will just tell me what I want to hear, and then make excuses. They won't even listen to what I have to say I know it." I say as I feel my chest tighten. It has tightened so much that I am use to it.

"Well son you have to just make Dean listen and make him apologize to you whole heartedly." My father says looking directly at me. My whole body froze at his words.

"Dean?" Is all I could get out in a low whisper. How did he know? Was Gabriel right, anybody who spent more than five minutes around us would know. Forget that, my dad knows I like guys. I never told him. I never told him because I never knew how he would react. I know how my mom would. She'd be okay with it but I never knew how he would feel.

"Yes Dean. We are talking about him, aren't we?" he says like its normal. Maybe he is okay with it.

"How did you know? When did you find out? Did Balthazar tell you?" I say speaking to fat to keep up with. I know Gabriel would never tell but my dad and Balthazar are close. I think he has something to do with being our legal guardian. They have to talk, so why would Balthazar mention it.

"I've known for a while. I just didn't say anything and no one told me. I saw you two together." How? I was so careful the three times he has visit in the last three years. I never slept with Dean when my dad was there.

"When?"

"It was when I was home for a visit. It was when school had ended. You had just got your driver license. I bought you and Gabriel cars. It actually was the night he picked you up. I thought it was strange you had changed your clothes like four times but I let it go. Then it was late like three in the morning and I wondered if you were home so I went to check. When I did, I walked in your room in the middle of the night to see if you were home. I walked in and there you two were lying in bed and I'm guessing naked. I don't know. You had a tin sheets and I didn't see any clothing. I didn't see any clothing on your bodies, thanks to the hall light I saw a bunch of clothes thrown over the floor. I don't want to think about how they came off but you two were sound of sleeping spooning." I know I must look like a deer caught in head lights. I can feel them growing bigger. "Son can you say something." Not to mention I know I am sitting here with my mouth slightly open. I can feel the drool running down my lip.

"Are you okay with it. I mean me. Are you okay with me liking me?" I wonder if he is. I also wonder if he knew I was heartbroken why he would bring up the one reason why I am. I mean he should know better by now. Dean broke my heart. The last thing I want to know is why he would remind me, when I am finally able to forget. He should know I manage to forget since he can read me. This is not helping our relationship. I guess he can people who aren't his family.

"I'll admit at first I was a little grossed out and shocked but once that wore off I could care less just as long as I do not have to walk in on you again." He says with a gentle smile. His smile is making me soften up a little.

"Wow thank you dad. That really means a lot to me." I say feeling a little better but I wonder why he is still kicking me out. Maybe I have misjudged my father but that doesn't establish why he is throwing me out.

"Now that we established that I can finish my little speech" I node my head hoping he will answer my questions without me saying anything. "Look when your mother died I was lost. I was so lost I didn't know how to lead you. I had no idea what to do with you or your brothers. I tried but I kept feeling like I was failing. Then I got transferred. I wanted to pack you guys up and bring you up but I couldn't. I couldn't up root you guys. Your mother was the one who helped you adjust. It was hard but I let you guys stay because I thought I couldn't help. I did what was best for you at the time. I didn't realize it was bad idea until I was here and you were there happy. I wanted to bring you with me but I saw you guys so happy I couldn't ruin it. I thought you were happy until I saw you right before Gabriel's graduation. I saw your pain and when you said you wanted to come I thought I was giving you a break, but I see I am helping you run. What does that have to do with anything? Well, son my job as your father is to help you with whatever I can and I know I cannot protect you from everything either, that's why the little punk broke your heart, but I'm getting beside myself. Being your father means I have to do with best for you. I know you practically an adult but I cannot let you become jaded. Staying here will only create baggage, it will make you angry and bitter and that is something I do not want for you. I want don't want that for you. I can't let your first love ruin you. You need to finish this. Now don't get me wrong I would love to have you here I have always wanted you here. I love you, but I know you being here will make it worse. By worse I mean, this relationship always plaguing you for the rest of your life. I don't want you end up alone. Remember you start how you finish. So with that being said you have to go. You have to go confront him and tell him how he made you feel. Make him apologize." He say as he finally finishes. I have to say what he has said to me as gotten through to me. Everything he has said had touched me. My dad actually cares about me. He wants me to go back to confront Dean. It's easier said than done but maybe I should.

"What if he doesn't?" I say scared. I am really scared. I told Dean I loved him and never said anything to me. He had time to tell me how he feels but he never came to me. What if I tell him everything and he just laughs in my face, I don't think I can handle that, but my dad is right. I need to confront him. I wouldn't call it closure but I would call it get stuff off my chest. I think I need it.

"Well at least get whatever is on your chest off. It will make you feel a lot better." He says placing his arm around me.

"Thank you Dad." I say giving him a hung. I am just as surprised as you are. I haven't hung him since my mother's funeral.

"Anytime son." He says hugging me back. Okay I am guess I am going back to Knasa. I guess I am going back to Dean.

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**Omg Cas i going back to Kansas. What will happen when he gets back to Lawrence. **

**Want to know what happens when CAs gets back. Review and you shall know.**

**Spoilers next chapter is from Dean's pov. Want to know what has been going on with him Review and i shall tell you within 24 hours **


	44. Chapter 44 Dean

**Thank you ivebeenpocessedbysatan for the review. It really means a lot to me that you are ready not once but many time over. Because you are loyal i have a something in store that you will like. Stay tune to find out.**

**Okay so thank you to the other who have read. I would thank you one by one but you never left a review so all i can do is thank you as a whole.**

**SO here is the next chapter review and i shall be back within a week. If not i will be back after next Thursday. Hey it's up to you. **

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**Chapter 44 Dean**

For the first time ever I realize I need Cas more than ever. I may have said I needed in other ways but this is the first time I have just needed him to just be here. I miss him. He leaving has made everything so blah. He leaving has put everything into perceptive. I have done everything wrong. I have done everything wrong when it comes to him. I need him in my life. I need more than I ever needed anybody.

I have spent the entire summer in one state of mind. What that is I don't know but I do know this I can't do anything. Whatever it is, whether it is eating, drinking, or even hanging out with people, nothing feels the same as when he was here. When he was here everything was better. Now everything sucks. I want him back, I need him back.

I wish I could reach out to him, but I can't. I tried calling him but he changed his number. I tried reaching out to him on Facebook, but he blocked me. At least I think he has. Whenever I search for him he doesn't come up. I tried emailing him but my emails got bounced back. Whatever I have tried to get in contact with him has just been bounced back. It sucks and I hate it. What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do when the one person I need to talk to won't talk me? I tried my hardest to reach out to him but he just up and left me. I never left him. I always came back, no matter what. He never even gave me the chance this time. Why didn't he get I just needed time? Bella had a miscarriage, what was I supposed to do. Was I supposed to be a jerk and leave her grieving by herself? I couldn't do that. It was my child too. I was hurt too. Why I did want to run to him, I couldn't. No matter what he would never understand how I felt. I only turned to Bella because she was upset too. I went to her because she was the only one who knew how I felt.

I admit the way things were left was messed upped. He told me he loved me and seconds later I take a phone call. I wanted to tell him how I feel but when I tuned around he was gone. He didn't give me a chance to explain myself. If he truly loved me then he would have given me that chance. Instead what does he do, he moves way with no plans of ever coming back.

Nobody told me he wasn't coming back but I know him. I know the way he thinks. He left with no plans to come back. Hell if I was in his shoes I wouldn't come back either, but then again. If I was him he knew like he says he does then he should know I had a good reason. My girlfriend was pregnant, what would he do? He is supposed to be the smart one. Why could figure this out.

If you wonder what I have been doing my whole summer well this is it. I have been going over him leaving in my mind. Sure I have done other things, but this was my main focus. I Skype with Bella, I hung out with Jo and Gabriel. Together and individually, hell I even hung out with some guys from baseball team, but nothing feels the same. Nothing feels the same as when I am with him. I am use to doing these things then being with him. It has become like a routine. To make it worse it's the summer. It's the only time I have him to myself.

Having him to myself and being with him and nobody else. That doesn't sound like a bad idea. I could get use to something like that but it's something I will never know. Being with him is a recent idea. I sit in my room pondering over the idea as Jo storms into my room like she is on a room.

"Hey Dean, how's it going." She says after she walks into my room. She stands there like she didn't just come charging in.

How have I been? I have been miserable. I hate how I feel right now. That is why I am lying in my bed staring at the ceiling. I miss him more than I ever expected. My heart hurts. If I start to think about him too much than I start to feel like I am about to cry. I can't drink or smoke weed because that only makes the feelings worse. My hearts wants to pulled from my chest but if I let that happen than I will die.

"Hey Jo" Is all I can say in such a dry tone. I don't care if I give away my hurt. I watched her from the corner of my eyes as she walks over to my bed and looked at me. I know I do not look the same. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and it looks like life has beaten me down. I am actually starting to look how Cas has looked for the past couple of months. Seeing him like this tells me I have done some pretty bad things to him. The circles under my eyes are darker than ever been. I admit I am a person who loves food but I haven't had much of an appetite all summer.

"How you doing" She says as she lays beside me. She doesn't touch me or look at me. She just lies on her back as she folds her arms behind her head and look at the ceiling like me.

"I'm fine" I say still looking at the ceiling fan as he spins.

"Are you really?" She asks like she knows I am lying. I am lying and she knows but I don't feel like I talking about it.

"Yes." I say hoping she picks up on the hint. Ten again she was never one to take the hint. She has always been one to ignore it.

"Then why are you listening to sad Emo music. Since when do you like anything like this? I mean come on you are listening to The Script. They are hardly your type. Yes Danny is hot but come on you are listening to Breakeven. It's a good song but it's something you would listen to on a normal day."

"I like all kinds of music Jo." I admit The Script isn't a band I would normally listen too, but Bella actually got me listening to them. They are popular in the U. K. She raves about them all the time. One day out of boredom and I heard Breakeven by them. I could relate so I decide to listen to all their songs and it I have to admit they are singing how I am feeling.

"Sure…. So Bella should be home soon." She says after a long pause. I wish she never bought her up. I admit I like the idea of her not being around. I still care about her but I am starting to think maybe I should break up with her. Yes I think about it, but what would I be leaving her for. If I left her then who should I be with. Cas wants nothing to do with me. He has made that clear. Leaving her doesn't make sense right now. Maybe if I get him back then I might.

"Yeah I know." I say not really caring about her coming back. All I can think about are those blue eyes. I am use to her leaving for the summer but this is the first time I really don't miss her. Some days I would find myself wondering about her but it wasn't the longing I use to feel.

"Could you be any happier?" Jo asks in a sarcastic manner. I really don't feel like this today. Can she just get this over with.

"Maybe" I say. I should have told her how I felt but I don't have the energy for that either.

"Okay I have had enough." Jo says standing up. "I came into your room to get on tour case about Castiel. My original plan was to storm in guns a blaze but when once I saw you lying there looking sad I decided to take a different approach, but now I realize I won't get anywhere trying to play it cool. It just isn't my style and you never respond to that type of approach. I need to just get straight to it.

"Straight to what?" I ask looking at her like I didn't know. She gone all summer without bring him up. I should have known better she'd leave it alone better forever.

"You miss Castiel." she says staring down at me. Well thank you Captain Obvious. O\f course I don't need her to tell me that. I started to say something but I kept my mouth shut as I sat uo and move my body where I was sitting across from her.

"Sure I do. He was my best friend and I miss him." I should have told the truth but what pint would me stating the how I really miss him what have been. If I say I miss him then pity takes over and I do not want to be pity.

My cousin said nothing. Jo just slapped me upside the head before she spoke. "No you miss him in the way Romeo would miss Juliet." What does that have to do with anything. I know the play kind of. I barely paid attention in English. I know they were young. They fell in love in a matter of days and they killed their selves because they couldn't live without each other. Yes we are young but everything else isn't relatable.

"We have been over this already." I say rubbing my head. We have, only it was before the summer and many time over the years. I say the same thing and she says the same thing. When will it change?

"And it looks like we have to go over it again. Look I did not come in here to have a debate. I came in here to tell you to man up and admit your feelings. You love him and he loves you. No more of this he loves me, he loves me not bullshit. I am tired of it." She says moving that finger again. Does she ever get tired of that?

She swears I love him. I am tired of her and Gabriel saying I do. I know he says he loves me but I really don't know. I thought I loved Bella but I am starting to see I never did. I have told her so many times but if she ever told truth she would be hurt. What if I told Cas and then I realize I never did. I couldn't do that to him. I need to be sure before I tell him.

How do I know I love him? I have thought about it all summer. How do you know when you are in love? Is it a one feeling or is it many wrapped up into one.

"Jo I_" is all I could say why I think about whether or not I love Cas.

"The next words out of your mouth better are Jo I love him or some version of it." she says pointing of course. She is more like her more than she cares to admit. I looked at her and kept my mouth shut.

"I see you choose to keep quiet good. Now look I do not like what has become of you two. You two belong together. Him being away has obvious taken a toll on you. I mean mom bought pie the other week and it lasted the whole week. When does pie ever last around here. For god sakes Dean you turned down pie. If that doesn't tell you something then what will." She says in an overly dramatic voice. I do love pie. I could eat a whole one in like ten minutes but lately I have lost the taste for it. Maybe, me not wanting pie should tell me something.

"Jo I get what you are saying, but he did kind of move to North Carolina. Even if I could fix things, what good will that do?" I say. She can't argue that, she knows I have tried. I have tried in front of her. I would love to be able to talk to him, even if it was just us catching up, but he wants nothing to do with me.

Jo said nothing as she gave me a stupid grin. She is smiling as my heart feels like is being smashed into a million pieces slowly. I started to say something, but she spoke first. "He's coming back"

"What?" I say a little too excited. I wanted to play it cool but now isn't the time. She just said Cas is coming back. I thought he never come back. Whatever the reason I am grateful.

"Yes he texted me like an hour ago and said he decided to come back." I am so happy she didn't point out how happy I am. If she did I probably would have made up some excuse and buried my feelings afterwards but she didn't. Thank god for that and for him coming back. I will never let him leave again. No matter how hard it will be getting him back I will try and once I do. I will never let him go again. I can't go without him in my life. Maybe I do love him, but I am not sure. Loving him means so much. I am not ready to face that yet.

"When?" I finally ask.

"He said he will be back when school starts in a couple weeks." That gives me time ro figure out how I will win him back.

I felt dean over the summer but suddenly I felt a burst of energy. I felt so much I could sit still. I have to do something.

"So Dean, what are you going to do, now that he is coming back?" she asks sitting down next to me placing her hand around me. Cas coming back only means one thing to me.

"I'm going to win him back" I declared.

"Promise" she says holding out her figure for a pinky swears. We haven't done that in a while. Whenever we pinky swear we never broke it. It had to be done no matter what. Pinky swears aren't to be taken lightly. They are lifelong commitment.

"Cross my heart" I say motioning across my heart, Doing that means a double pinkie swear. By doing this she means business and I do. No matter what I will get him back.

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**So what do you think? DO you think Dean is on his way to a break though? What will happen when Dean tries to win Cas back. **

**Spoiler's next chapter will have the boys coming face to face for the first time since the grave yard. What do you think will happen?**

**Review and i will tell asap. I have t o work for the rest of the week but i can come home form work and update. I can never sleep when i get home. I can spend my time updating but if not i can do either things. Okay i am done good night. Just remember review and i shal update asap if not i will take like seven or more days.**

**byw what did you think of tonight's supernatural. I liked it but i missed Cas. I love Misha Collins. I want Cas back. Me and sister love making commetray about Dean And Cas**

**Follow me on twitter akinsey_dawrite **

**i will follow back **


	45. Chapter 45 Dean

**Hello Everyone, **

**thank you for reading.****Here is the next chapter.**

**Don't forget to review.**

**btw the way there is only seven more chapters until the end of this story. **

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**Chapter 45 Dean: Senior Year: September**

Today is the day. The day my real will begin. I have gone over this day in my head for two weeks trying to get everything perfect. I thought of what to say, how to say. How far I should stand back from him, just in case he hits me. I have thought of almost everything. I have thought of everything except how I am going to get him to listen to me. We weren't exactly on the best of terms when he left and I doubt somehow he managed to soften up while he was away. If anything I bet he is really pissed. He probably spent the whole summer alone hold up in his room just over thinking everything.

Today is also the first day of senior year and I could less. It's weird actually, if you would have asked me a year ago how I think I would feel on this day. My answer might be something excited and nervous. Then my nervous would go away because Cas would be right there next me to, but he isn't. So while other seniors were discussing the joys of it being their last year, I feel like I have just stepped into the Twilight Zone. I walked through the halls with Bella on my arm and a fake smile. My eyes scanned the hall looking for those familiar blue eyes. I got to school thirty minutes early to see him arrived but he somehow managed to stay out of sight. I used my eyes to search everybody's face like a computer while Bella went on and on about how hard we had worked and how this was a stepping stone to our future. This year is a stepping stone; she has no idea how right she was.

I went the whole day without saying a word to him. We did end up three classes together plus lunch, but it's not the same. He would even sit in the same row as me. I sat in the second row by the window and he always sat in the back. All day I wanted to do was walk up and kiss him. I did manage to make eye contact with him. It would last for all of five seconds and then Cas would turn his head.

I started to talk to him at school but I decided maybe somewhere else was better. I mean the conversation we need to have shouldn't be done in between classes. After school I dropped Bella off, and drove my car straight over to his house. It might not have been the right time at school, but here is perfect. There is no where he can run. I can force him to listen to me. Soon as I got there Gabriel let me in. If you are wondering, Gabriel did start school at The University of Kansas. He decided to live at home to keep an eye on Cas and be closer to Jo. His school is only twenty five minutes away though, but I guess if he lived at school he would disappear like Balthazar. Gabriel said nothing but hello as he let me in. I guess he knew I was a man on a mission. I walked right into Castiel's room without knocking.

"Dean" He says as he stands up from his desk. I know I saw him at school but this different. It feels more real. It is so real I have forgotten everything I want to say to him. There is just something about him that leaves me speechless.

Seeing him stand there does so many things to me. I never realized how much I missed him until now. Looking at him I can't help but feel a bit of anger. What am I saying? I have to push that aside. My heart will not let me feel anger. It's too busy hurting for him.

"We need to talk?" I say as I carefully walk over to him. I am still waiting for him to hit me. He said nothing as he stood there tracing his eyes all over my body. As he looks at me I can't help but feel insecure. He is the only one that can bring this out of me. I know I look thinner than usual. I have barely eaten. I know I have dark circles under my eyes. Even though I look my worse I hope I am still hot in his eyes. I started to give him my whole speech about us, about how I missed him, about how I think we should try again when I notice he wasn't paying attention. The anger I once felt started to rise again but I pushed it down again.

"Don't you think so?" I say looking into his eyes. I know he didn't hear a word I said but I wanted to see if he would play along. He shook his head while capturing my gaze. Man have I missed looking into those blue eyes. I stared at him for a minute while I wonder what was going through his mind. Whatever it was I know Cas was gazing at my soul again, He knows I hate it when he does that. I tell him that all the time. He talks about me not caring, well what about him. He knows I feel uneasy when he does this.

"Are you going to answer me?" I ask hoping to break him out of soul gazing. I waited for him to say something but he did not speak. He just grabbed my face and crashed his lips in mine. My mind blew upon contact. It's like every emotion I ever felt for him attacked me at once. One thing stood out though. The emotion that stood out was shock. I am shocked for so many reasons. I prepared myself for a lot of different reactions, but never this. Cas kept his lips on mines forcing his tongue into my mouth. Once I manage to get caught up to what was going on I kissed him back. I came here to talk but maybe we don't have too. Maybe he missed me as much as I missed him and he wants to pick up where we left off. Once I accepted his tongue into my mouth Cas through me against the wall and continued to attack me mouth. I love it when he is like this. I have missed it so much. I couldn't help but moan as our tongues danced around. He just feels so right. Just when I thought I couldn't get any more turned on He ran his hands up my back while digging his nails into me.

Just when I thought I could kiss him forever he broke away for air. I admit I felt a little sad or maybe disappointed when he stopped but then he gripped my shirt up into his fist and swung me around onto the bed. I love it some might hate but I only want more the rougher the better.

"Cas" I moaned so turned on. I know he loves it when I say his name. He of course said nothing as he pulled his shirt and pants off then jumped on top on me. I squealed a little when laid onto me. I don't care what anybody thinks right now. If you felt as much pleasure as he brings me then you wouldn't care either.

Next thing I know he was laying on top of me. He then began to suck on my neck causing me to grind into him as I moaned his name.

"Shut up" He finally growled looking into my eyes. His told me so much. I could tell you everything I saw but that would take a while. I will tell you this, the blue that was once there was now black. It might scare someone else but it only made my dick hurt more. I need him. I need him side of me. Only he can make me feel right. It's like he read my mine. He suddenly ripped my shirt off. I mean he literally ripped it right down the middle before he yanked my pants off. I loved that shirt but I love him more. Wait did I just say that. Did I just say I love him? I don't know if I do because I don't know what love is. I would thank about it more but he kissed me again with such fire.

"Turn over now" he commands breaking my train of though and the kiss. Before I can get inside my head again I did as I was told. He likes it when I obey him and right now I don't need to over think things.

Soon as I turned over Cas started kissing me on the back of my neck, He then worked his way down the middle of my back. I never told him, then again I never knew, but somehow he knew I have so many spots on the spine of my back. My toes curled as he kissed every spot. My moans were suddenly muffled when Cas stopped kissing me and placed his hand on the back of my head to bury my face into the pillow. He then bit the side of my ear and whispered "I've missed that tiny tight hole of yours. Mmmmmmmm I'm going to fuck it real good."

Oh god I am lost. Cas talking dirty to me does things to me. When he does this I forget everything in my life. I love it like I love him. There I go again saying I love him. Why do I keep saying this. What I mean to say is I love it when he talks nasty to me.

"Fuck me" I say hoping to forget what I have said about me saying that I love him more than once. Yes I want to be with him but I am not sure I love him yet. Fore I could debate Cas used his right hand to smack me clean across the ass. It stung a little but I liked it.

"BE a good little bitch and shut up" He says as he used both hands to separated my ass cheeks. He then hog spit into my hole before he forcefully pushed his dry dick inside. I cried out in pain as I felt Cas push into me with no mercy. No matter what type of se x we are having he always waits for me to adjust but this time he doesn't. He just keeps pushing inside me.

"Shit Cas" I say with tears in my eyes. I am hoping he let up. He is pushing into me with no lube. It hurt but at the same time it feels good.

"I said be a good bitch and shut up." Cas says as he pulls out before he ramps back into me. It might hurt but I don't want hi m to stop. It feels so good. He must have read my mine because he pulled out and then rammed back in hitting my sweet spot. I never knew I had it until him. Sometimes I think he is the only one who knows it's there. As he kept hitting my sweet spot I cried out again and again as I felt pain but so much pleasure. He is driving into me so hard. I never want it to stop.

"OH you wanna make noises I see". Cas says gripping up my to pull back my hair. I never got hair cut this summer. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. My hair mange to grow out shaggy.

"Don't worry Dean I'll make sure you make some good ones" He says as he used all his strength to pull out and ram back into me. It hurt for being so dry I thought I felt myself tear but it felt so good. I don't care what is happening to me right now. As long as he drives into me with no mercy then I don't care.

"OH shit Cas Please?" I pleaded not knowing if I was pleading for him to keep going or for him to stop. Before I could decide Cas hit my spot again harder and faster.

"That's a good boy?" he says as he lets go of my neck. He quickly moves his hands from my neck to my waist as he dug his nails into my side while he pumped into me at an inhuman speed. "You like that don't you" he says hitting that spot again. I swear him hitting that spot makes me not care about what I have to tell people.

"YEsssssssssssss" I say I as I feel myself about to cum. I don't know how he does it but I never have to touch myself whenever he fucks me.

"You wanna cum Dean?" He says hitting my spot again. I don't know how he does it but he manages to do it all the time. He always knows when I am about to cum. I did not respond. I just, bit my bottom lip and whimpered as Cast rammed three more times causing both of to cum at the same time. We both tried capturing our breath before Cas pulled out and collapsed on his back next to me.

"Damn Cas. I see you missed me" I say after rolling onto my back. What just happens makes me feel so many ways. One thing that stands out is hope. If he is willing to do this again then I know he we can have a future, no matter what. No matter how much pain I feel. When I rolled on my back a sting hit me hard. I never felt this, nit even the first time we had sex. This pain is new. I felt wetter then usually between my legs so I placed my hand between my legs. When I pulled my hand across and looked at it I saw a blood on my fingers.

"I'm bleeding" I saying. I look at him and he does care. I have never bleed before. He always took his time. Why would he do this.

I want to ask him this but when I look at him he is lying there looking at the ceiling not caring about me.

"Cas" I say trying to find a way to lie that wouldn't bring me too much pain but nothing seems to work.

Once I spoke he jumped up to pull his pants up. Once he got his shirt on he looked at me lying in his bed. I hoped for him to tell me he missed me but it never happened.

"I think you should go?" he says in a cold manner. I said nothing, I could say anything. How could he just kick me out? There is so much between us. I could never just kick him out. Before I said anything I looked into his eyes. I could read all the emotions in his eyes. I see everything he is feeling. I can see he is angry and did not want to talk at the moment. I guess if he doesn't want to talk I have no choice but to give him time. I just wonder how much time he needs.

"OK" I sat realizing I don't have a shirt anymore.. "You got a shirt I can borrow." I say hoping for something. I don't know what he is hoping for but I am hoping for some type of dialog.

"Get one out of Balthazar room. He's never home so I'm sure he won't miss it." Vas finally says as he sits back down at his computer. When I first walked in he was sitting there doing something but he is now back at it.

"Okay Can I call you later?" I ask looking at the back of his head. I never felt so rejected in my life.

"NO" he says so strong but not bothering to look at me. He could at least look at me.

"OK, I guess I'll see you at school then" I say rubbing the back of my neck. I feel used. Why would he do it to me and not care. I thought he cared about us more than me. I don't get it. How is he treating me like this.

"Good bye Dean" He says like he is done talking to me. He can't be done? I am not done. There is so much I haven't sad. I can't just leave it here.

Fine I will let it go for today but tomorrow is another story. I came here with a mission. I didn't get to go thought with it, but I swear I will. I need him back in my life and us just having sex isn't good enough. I looked at him before I limped out of his room and into the living room with a shirt I stole from Balthazar's room.

"Football injury Deano" Gabriel says looking up from the couch. Normally this would be interrupted as a wise crack but I know he is asking if Cas is still mad at me.

"You can say that. " I say as I walk to the door. I still feel wet between the legs. So I know I am walking a little funny.

"I hope it was worth it." He says before he turns back to his books.

"It really was it." I say before I left the house. It really was worth it. Yes I didn't get anywhere with him but I know I can get somewhere with him. Cas has told me so much without telling me anything at all. All I know is there is so much more to this story.

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**So what do you think?**

**Did you like the reunion?**

**Did it go how you expected?**

**Leave a review or two and tell me you questions or comments.**

**If you have questions i will answer them all you have to do is ask.**

**Btw i do not know who's pov would the next chapter be told from. I'm thinking Cas but maybe Dean. **

**Review i will update soon if not i will take my time or the next time my gmom buys me beer. I am legally if you are wondering. **

**p.s.**

**I'm thinking next chap will be from Cas pov **

**remember seven more chapters until it ends. **


	46. Chapter 46 Cas

**Thank you for the review. I am glad i am a girl too. I love you mamas for your support. Here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy **

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**Chapter 46**** Cas **

Why do I keep doing this to myself? This not what my dad meant when he said I should confront Dean. I cannot stop beating myself up for sleeping with again and again. He would come over. He would say he wants to talk and I would end our conversation with sex. I know he has something to say but he has nothing to say but he wants to be with me and Bella. I am tired of it. He wants to be with her then he can be with her but he will not be with me. I don't care how sorry he is.

He might be sorry and I might think he is and I don't care. I just wish I could act like I was. He keeps showing up here and I keep having sex with him. To make matter worse he did it again for the next month and two weeks. Dean would come over twice a week. At first Dean would say he wanted to talked but after two weeks we wouldn't talk. We would just get down to it and when we were done, I would ask Dean to leave. Dean would of course always try to say something to me but I would keep my back turned until I heard the door close. Dean could say all he wanted but I want nothing to do with him. Father might have wanted me to yell at him but I can't. I don't have the energy any more.

Dean is still with her. I thought being gone would teach him a lesson but he is still with Bella. I admit I hoped that he would leave her and be with me but he doesn't get that. Instead he thinks he can still be with her and be with me.

I wasn't fed up until Dean finally showed up at my job on a date with Bella. How could he? I am fucking him all the time but yet he still finds time to take her out on date. Seeing him so romantic with her has never made me hate her more. He is so straight yet he loves it when I fick him in the ass. I wonder if he cries out when he has sex with her.

Look I had gotten a job working at a local restaurant. My dad told me I needed a new start and I tried to find one. I found a new job and on my third night there the hostess had seated them in my section. I never felt so humiliated, how can I wait on them. He wants to talk but he still finds time to be with her. I contemplated spitting in their food throughout the night but I stopped myself.

I have no one but myself to blame for the situation I was now in. I knew Dean had a girlfriend and I knew that things could get messy but I never imagined that it would hurt so badly. I never thought I would fall in love with Dean. I thought it would be a sex thing and somehow I knew I find a way to deal with us having sex. It didn't turn out that way. It turned into so much more. I don't have to tell you but I will tell you that I finally I had enough, I am not longer taking father's advice. He wants me to confront him and move on, but I cannot do that. I need to spend more time with him, yet I know I need to get over him.

He came here with Bella, he came to my job with her. I can't believe what I did next did seem like me. The next day I text him and told him I wanted nothing more to do with him and not come to my house unless it was to hang with Gabriel. They are still friends. I do not know why Gabriel claims to have my best interest at heart but yet he hangs with Dean? If he wasn't my brother I wouldn't speak to him.

I sent the message and got no response. I thought he took it lightly but Dean of course did not take it lightly. For the next two weeks Dean would call and text me none stop but I manage to stay strong and ignored him. I am so proud of myself.

I though Dean had given up but two days ago he did stop calling me, I actually believed he given up until I walked out of work one late night. Once I walked outside I saw him. I went two days without thinking about him and then he shows up. I should have known that if I go to long without thinking about him I end up face to face with him. I noticed Dean before he noticed me. He was too busy staring off into space when I noticed him. He didn't see me I had my chance to run off but I didn't want to.

He stood outside my job waiting for me to get off work. How did he know when I get off. Well. It's only two people to blame it could have been Jo or Gabriel.

Why I she here. I know for a fact he is breaking curfew, but knowing him he doesn't care. Why does he care about the most stupid things. I do need to talk to him and since I will not answer the phone he would show up in person. Frankly I do like this but I know this won't end up right.

When I walked out of work I stopped in my tracks when I saw Dean sitting on the trunk of my car, He sat there waiting. I do not know what to do. I could run away but then again

"Dean, what are you doing here?" I ask finishing my thoughts out loud.

"You can't answer the phone or return a text message." Dean says as he jumped down and walked over to me. I wished he didn't. Sometime I wish he kept his distance.

"We have nothing to talk about." I say as I try step around him. Why did he park next to my car?

"Bullshit Cas. You just stop talking to me without a reason." I stop talking to him without reason. Maybe he is living in denial . How can say that?

"Excuse me" I growled moving in on him until I was an inch away from his face.

"You heard me? You can't give me a reason why you want nothing to do with me." He says like I am crazy. I can't give him reason. He is right I can't give him a reason. I can give him at least five reasons on why I don't want to talk to him. I can't believe hum. I want to punch him.

"How about you give me a reason for all the lies or how about how you just dumped me without a word." Castiel said feeling his body say without a thought. Once I finish I felt my body shake.

"You can't compare the two. I have a girlfriend Cas and you knew it. She was pregnant I had to be there for her." He says with such fury in his eye. How could he say that to me? Is he is blaming me?

"So you couldn't just tell me what was going on." I say so angry.

"I promised her I'd stay away from the person I cheated with." He shouts at me. He stands looking at me with such fury. He looks at me like he hates me.

"So you couldn't tell me that." I say ready to punch him.

"I tried calling you" Yeah like weeks later. He never came to me right away. How could he not?

"Yeah months"

"You knew I had a girlfriend she needed me at the time. I owed it to her to be there for her." Dean says like I am in wrong.

"Exactly Dean you have a girlfriend. Why don't you go run off to be with her and leave me alone." I say walking over to my car. HE has a girlfriend. No matter what he says he still has a girlfriend. No matter what he says it won't make it right. Even he wants to make things right he can't because he is still with her.

"Because I wanna talk to you." He says while I have my back turned.

"Well I don't want to talk to you" I say with my back towards him. He wants to talk but I don't care I just have to get inside my car and drive away.

As I went to put my key in the door Dean spoke "You're such a victim Cas. You know that. You walk around here like you're so innocent, like I broke your heart. Like you didn't know I had a girlfriend. You knew about her and yet you still agreed to do this. You can't walk around like you broke and hearted because you were wrong the whole time." Did he just say what I think?

I never gave it a second thought. When I turned around he was standing behind me. I gripped him and then slammed him down on my car and growled in low voice.

"You son a bitch. I have done everything you wanted, kept your dirty little secret so your precious Bella would not find out. I only agreed to this because I thought you need some time to come out. I figured you would be with me by now. I never thought I t would secrets and lies after another."

"Well you shouldn't have assumed. You're not so innocent either. What about Meg, or Chastity, Piper, Delia, Emma, Sophie, Terri, India, Elena, Leah, and whoever else you have also fucked. You know everybody I have had sex with but yet I do not know everybody you have. Your nothing but a whore" I never gave Dean a chance to say something my anger caught up and I punched him in the face.

"If I'm such a whore then why are you here? You don't waste your time on whores. You have your fun with them and that is that." I say still holding Dean down.

"Because your mine?" He says like it should mean something to me.

"Right I was yours but was you ever mine?" I really want to know. I was always his but was I ever his? I am starting to see I was never was. Dean looked into his my eyes. He felt guilt take over his body fore he answered "No"

I never was, I was always his but he always belonged to Bella. How can I change what always was. I can't do that. I released Dean from my gripped. I can pound Dean to a bloody pulp but it won't change the facts.

"Come on Cas, Can we just forget about this and start over." Dean says he walked up behind me. Forget I wish but I can't.

"Start over" I say as I spun around to look at him. "You mean be with you, while you're with her. For how long Dean, until we graduate?" I need know. How long should I be with him. How long should I share him? I am starting to think that it will go on forever if I let it.

"I don't know" Dean says looking down at his feet. Him looking down tells me all I need to know. It tells me I will be wailing forever.

"Then what will happen afterwards. What happen to us going to College together or were you planning for the three of us to all go to the same school." I say pointing out what I am thinking. Of course Dean said nothing as I went on. "Then what you're going to do? Marry her and have kids all while screwing me on the side. Tell me something when does it end?" I want to know. I need to know. When do I start my own life? When are we supposed to stop?

"I don't know Cas. All I know is I like being with you," Of course he does. Just as long as nobody knows, he can stay like this no matter what? Why can't it stay like this?

I can't do it. I refuse to end up forty years old and nothing to show for it. I want a family. I know will not get that with Dean.

"Well you can't not unless you can promise me you'll break up with her and be with me and not in secret either. You would have to come out to everybody." I say staring into his eyes. Part of me hopes he will do what I ask but I know he won't do what I want..

"I can't. Why can't it be the way it was? It was fun" he says trying to kiss him me. His answer told me all I needed to know. He tries to kiss me but I manage to brush him off but I push him to the side.

"Because I want more Dean." I say like he has should have known all alone.

"More of what. What we had worked. Why change it." Is he serious? What we had only caused more problems.

"It never worked. It only worked because I allowed you to think it worked. When every time you would leave or I knew you were with her, or found out you lied I buried it inside. I buried it so you wouldn't think any different. But every time I knew It would hurt me. "

"Why would you do that?" HE says like it is something new to him. He can't be this dumb. I never thought he was this stupid. I should just tell him.

"Because I didn't want to be that guy. I knew you had a girlfriend like I said before but I just figured if I give you a little time you would leave her and be with me." And for the first time that is the truth. I watched as Dean held his head in his hands. I wanted to say something but I didn't; know what. All I know was I was fed up.

"Cas I love her-" Is what Dean finally said to me.

I just held my hands up and said "Say no more Dean I get it now." Before I let Dean say something I jumped into my car and drove way. I left Dean standing there feeling nothing but regret, at least I hope.

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**Hope you liked. Review and i will update pretty fats. If you don't i will take my time. Like at least a week. I mean it this time. Want a fast update review and i will update. if not i will take at least 7 days or more. Probably more. Yeah most def. more**


	47. Chapter 47 Gabriel Dean

**So thank you for the reviews. Because of the reviews i am updating sooner than later. Satan i love you. I love appreciate the fact you have been with me form the start.**

**Mini I hope you are done moving. I have a friend that is moving, She said she still has two weeks left. Btw the way Mini i hope i am answering some if your questions with is chapter. but will eventually answer some **

**To those who have been viewing thank you for reading here is the next chap. Remember you want yoread from Gabriel and Jo pov. Remebr there is only like five or six left **

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**Chapter 47 ****Gabriel **

Guess who is kicking ass a college student. That's right, your truly is making the grade and getting paid. Well kind of I have to wait until I am twenty-five and have earned my degree before my trust fund fully kicks in. I have like one percent of it now but I will get one hundred percent plus stock options. I won't bore you with the details because tonight I am throwing a party. That's right I am throwing my very first party to celebrate me being almost awesome. Why am I almost awesome? Well I am getting to that.

"You look really beautiful tonight" I say as I hand my lovely date her drink. Who is my date, why is no other than Jo herself. If you thought I'd have another chick on my side then I want you have been smoking.

She gave me a small smile as her cheeks turn the cutest shade of pink. I love it when her face looks like this. She stands in the door way of the kitchen looking out at the people in my house. Yes, I thought a party at my house. I know I will regret it in the morning but then again I did hire a cleaning service for the next morning. I figured I'd be too hung over to clean up tomorrow.

"Thank you" she says as she leans in the door way looking out at the many people scattered though my house. There has to be at least fifty people in here, that's not couting the people in the back yard.

"You know I have to say I liked the red hair, even the purple, and I loved loved the pink hair but this blond hair suits you." I say hoping tonight will be the night. We have been stuck in some weird grey area for months. I want to make a move but I am afraid she will turn me down or I will scare her off. I know she likes me and I like her but I doubt she is ready. I could kill Dean whenever I think about it. If he wasn't such a little coward then we would be together now. Thanks to him we are right back to square one. Maybe square two if there is one. We are a little ahead of where we use to be but not where we should be. Speaking of Dean, he is here with his "girlfriend". Cassie was dead set against me inviting him but I did it anyway he is still me friend. Why? I do not know? Plus him and Cassie drama has gone on for too long. I know they were hooking up when my baby brother came home but then like three months ago something happen and now they are at a standstill again. They are always at a standstill. If I stopped talking to Dean whenever they get into it then we would never talk. Although I still wonder why I am friends with him.

"Stop it" she says as she watches Cassie stand in the living room talking to some overly flirty girl while Dean sulks in the corner watching. Yup it's a normal Saturday night. Cassie is putting the charm on some girl without trying and Dean is jealous. I already know how this is going to go. Cassie will hook up with her. Dean will have a tantrum and then they make up for like three months before they have another fight. I love Dean but I hate him with my brother.

"Stop what, I can't tell you how beautiful you are?" I say as I take a drink from my cup. I always tell her is beautiful and no matter what she has never told me to stop; now all of a sudden she is doing this. It's like she doesn't know me. I will never stop.

"No you can't. We are just friends Gabe. Or have you forgotten?" I had to roll my eyes. Of course I know we are just friends. How could I forget? I am reminded every day that she I sonly my friend. I want more. I can't say that enough. She broke up with Adam. I broke up with Heather. At first I wanted to give her time. She cared about him and I know it hurt her to leave him but damn it's been two months. How much time does she need? Okay that was selfish. She can have as much time as she wants.

"How could I forget, even though it makes no sense? You broke up with Adam and we have had a few amazing nights together since then but now you just to stop. Why?" Okay I couldn't keep it in. I have been dying to ask her that for so long. It's like we are dating but we aren't. I just wish she tell me either way. Either way I can process it. Okay yes if she rejects me, which I am hoping she won't. If she rejects me then I can at least try to move on. I mean come on I am in college and I haven't hooked up with anybody because of her.

"You think it's amazing." She asks turning that beautiful shade of pink again.

"Words can't even describe it." I say hoping it make things different.

"I thought it was amazing too even though I don't know what I am doing?...Look I just think we should be friends first again." She says gazing back over to Dean who looks like he was about to explode all over the living room.

She wants to friends. We have been friends for years. Yes there was a small gap but damn it I think we have logged enough hours as friends.

"Can you not do that?" I ask I realize she was looking at me with those soft brown eyes.

"What?" she says shyly looking away?

"I thought we agreed months ago to stay out of it for once." I say changing the subject. Lately she has been so worried about them. I think they might me the reason we aren't together yet. Yeah it's the whole thing about her parents hating me but she is almost done high school, what can they really say. Plus I have made sure to stay out the way. I only do this for my brother not for Dean. I also do it for Jo, for whatever her reason is she wants to protect Dean. I am all for keeping his secret but not at the expense of my own happiness. Maybe I am selfish that way.

"We did but look at Dean?" she says pointing to him. I looked at Dean and he was in the process of arguing with a frat boy. I know that frat boy. He is gay or into guys if you aren't into labels. Why would Dean be arguing with me? Did he hit on him? No wait he might have hit on Cassie. Cassie did say he was going to be more open about who he is since he got back. Whatever the reason he is about to ruin my party. I should have never invited him.

"Oh no what is that meat head about to do….. And there goes Bella trying to swoop in and stop him." I say feeling frustrated. It's my first party and Dean is about to ruin it by getting into a fight, all because he can't accept who he is.

Of course that would be the reason. I see Cassie standing like three feet away. It's now obvious. He was flirting with him and Dean couldn't take it. I am getting tired of him. When will he realizes his actions affect other people.

"Five bucks Dean hits him." Jo says with a malicious grin. I looked at her and felt butterflies in my stomach. I was about to tell her something but that was when Dean hit the guy and then the guy fell to the ground. Everybody gather around to watch Dean beat the guy half to death. By the time I got over there to break it up Cassie had already pulled Dean off the guy. When he attempted to calm him down Dean told him to fuck off and ran out the room with Bella close behind. Yup, sounds about right. I am having a good night. I am on the verge of a break though with Jo and Dean messes it up. I really should beat his ass.

_**Dean**_

Fuck everything and everybody. Have you ever been so angry? I mean ready to kill anybody angry. You are to the point where you do anything to anybody for the littlest thing. It's not just an anger that came out of nowhere but it's the kind that has been brewing for weeks.

It's the type of anger that stats out as something else. It's like when you feel really feel upset to pinot where you want to cry but the tears won't come out. Since you can't cry you just sit around in the dark going over and over in your mind why you are so upset/ You think about it to the point where you are about to snap. You are about to snap but then it happens your friend invites you to a party where there one person who has been this to you will be. What do you? You go hoping to get back with them but the person you are commitment with is there. You are commitment to this person but you don't have the same feelings for this person as you do about another.

To make matters worse your girlfriend or the person you are committed to finds out about he party and goes with you. So now you are stuck with her and watching the person you want to talk to the most talk to other people. What do you do when you are falling apart and he looks okay? You know they still care but everything about them looks like they could care less. It's starts to mess with your head. You start to wonder if they still care, if they still love you or has too much time pass and they have moved on. I should tell you all of this has been going through my head and right now I am not in a good place.

"What is wrong with you" Bella yells scared out of her mind. She has never seen me this angry and no matter how hard she tries she will never understand why? After the fight I stormed out of the party and of course she followed me outside to find me leaning over a mail box. I can feel her standing there wondering what was going on with me. I can never tell her. She would never understand. If I told her all that would is break her heart.

I am upset and I know why, but I am not ready to accept it. Accepting it means so many things I don't think I understand. What I feel is something I should accept. After all I just beaten a guy to a pulp and I don't know how to explain it but there is one reason but I don't know if it is that time. Even if I admit it where will it get me?

"Dean I'm talking to you. You just almost killed a guy and I want to know what has gotten into you." She says as she walks up to me. I wanted to tell her, she has always been like a best friend but I can't tell her. She walks up to me and touches my arm so gently. Her touch should make me feel better but it doesn't. She touches me as I stood there looking at the mail box with tears in my eyes. For the first time in months I think I am about to cry.

"I'm talking to you. You need to answer me. I have never seen this side of you and its terrifying. Talk to me what's wrong" she begs as I feel every emotion come out. I wan to tell her but I want to tell him more.

I punched the mail box in frustration. I had to get it out some way. I didn't know how. The mail boxes was there and hitting it seemed right. I wanted to go back and finish the guy off. He flirted with Cas. That was enough reason why to hurt him I felt no remorse for what I had done. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Bella jump at the sound of me hitting the mail box. I didn't want to scare her but I couldn't help her. She watch me swing away at it as she started to cry.

"STOP IT JUST STOP it" she begs as I can't stop. I want to stop. I want nothing more but to stop but I can't help it..

I did finally stop once I felt like I was starting to break my hand. I looked at my knuckles and saw they were black and blue but I don't care. "

Leave me alone" I muttered under my breath.

"What?" she says shocked. She heard me. I want to be left alone. What I am going threw she can't help. Even if I tell her there is nothing I can do.

"Go! Leave me alone!" I yelled at her. She is the last person I want to se right now.

"NO!" She yells back at me. I am surprised she does this. I never thought she would raise her voice at me.

"Not until I know what's on your mind" She says as I started pacing back in forth in silence. I do owe her an answer but what do I tell her. I can't tell her the truth. I have no idea what to tell her. All I know is I can kill somebody right now and not feel guilty about it. I thought about what to say as Bella stood on the street crying and begging me to talk to her but I am not giving in. It's really none of her business. Well it isn't when you think about it.

"Bella I got this" I hear a voice say. It's the voice I been think and dreaming about for months. Of course when I hear it I think I am imagining it until I look up. When I look up I see it's him.

"Please talk to him. Calm him down" she begs while she looks at Cas. I am shocked she let it go that quick. Does she know he can get to me like she can't?

"So you wanna tell me what the hell that was about?" He ask once she was gone, It's like she know he can get to me the way she can't.

"You should know." I say so irritated.

"I should know what." He says like he doesn't know.

"Why I'm so pissed off." I yell. I hope Bella isn't still listening. He looks at me like he doesn't know but deep down I know he knows. He can pretend all he wants but he feels the same way I do..

"No idea" he say as I continued to walk up and down. I paced for a minute then stopped and to stand eye to eye with Cas.

"What?" Cas asks looking into my eyes. I said nothing as I kissed him. We kissed for a minute. As we kissed I felt like we were forgetting all that has happen between us. I kissed him until I broke away and yelled.

"This is your fault!" It really is. I would be normal if it wasn't for him.

"Mine how?" He says a little pissed off. It's like he knows what I am saying. If he does, then he has no right to be mad. He knows what he has done.

"Because you drove me here." I say punching the mail box again. The pain I felt in my hand could not compare to what I was feeling in my heart.

"I do not follow" Cas says again like it is nothing.

"Because of that girl and then that guy you were talking to, because you left me for the whole summer, because you don't talk to me anymore, and because you made me need you." I say as I finally feel the tears come down. Of course I decide to finally fight them. There was once a time I didn't want them but now I want them more than ever, IF I let them come then I can move on.

"You need me?" Cas asked shocked. OF course I need him. I thought it was a surprised there. Why is he so surprised?

"How could you leave? I could never leave you. No matter what has went on with me I always knew deep down inside I needed you. I am lost without you. I know I have been a jerk for the last few years months and I have been in hell, only to me it feels like years." I say. "I'm not making since" I say once I realize it might not be working. I need to get through to him.

"You're jealous and drunk" Castiel say half right. I am jealous but I am not jealous, I have had half a beer, I am more angry then anything.

"NO, I know what I am talking about!" I say snapping. I think he might be bowing me off.

"Then what are you talking about because I am not following you." He says like I am stupid. I would hit him but I know, it wouldn't get me anywhere with him.

"I'm pissed off!" I yell hoping he realizes. He is smart and can pick up on thinkgs. I hope he picks up on this.

"About." Of course he would make it hard for me.

"How could you just walk away? I could never walk away." I say finally saying what I am thinking"

"You did walk away and not only did you walk away but you did it first" Cas shots at me. It's like he is firing a bullet from a gun, His words hurt. I look at him and he looks angry.

"Why Cas? Why did I let you walk away?" I say hoping he doesn't hit me. He looks like he is two seconds from hurting me.

"I don't know? Why did you?" He says stepping closer to me. He says it like he wants to know. Heim wanting to know makes me want him more.

"I'm an idiot that's why?" I say as I finally feel the tears falling down my face. I can no longer hold back I need to cry. I miss him so much that it's the only thing I can do.

"Yes you are, but it doesn't matter anymore." Cas says folding his arms. He acts like it's too late but I know it's not.

"It matters to me?" I yell knowing it will get through to him.

"Why does it matter that you are an idiot?" I am an idiot but I didn't think he would acknowledge it. I hope we have hope to be together.

"Because I love you" I say hitting the mail box." Yes I said it. I love him. I love Castiel. I love him with all my heart; I am in love with Castiel Novak. I think it's time I admit don't you?"

Cas gripped me up in between our arguing but he let me go once I said I loved him. I can tell he was shocked. He once told me loved me but it is different. This time I am saying it first.

I wanted to say so much to him but I started with "I never want you to once I spilled the beans, or be with anybody but me. You left me for the summer and I felt like shit. I missed you so much. It hurt so much I didn't even eat pie and you know I can always eat pie I know I hurt you before but I never thought you'd hurt me. I missed you so much. I thought we never part" I says before I sit down against the mail box.

Once I sat down I began to hold my his head in shame. I felt sham for loving him. I felt shame for feeling hurt. I even felt shame for everything I have ever done to Cas. I felt shame for how I handle everything that had ever happen between us.

Cas looked at me. I couldn't believe I finally told him the truth. I always loved Cas I just never wanted to admit it.

. "I love you and it hurts to think about anybody being with you but me. I know I been with Bella this whole time but it's different you know." I say looking up at him. I am hoping he hears me, I am hoping he still feels the same way.

"You love me?" He ask looking at. I turned my head and looked into Cas's eyes and said. "I do. I love you with all my heart. It took me a while to realize it and it took me even longer to accept it but I am in love with you. Can you forgive me?" I say as I laid my head on his shoulder. Cas had sat down next to me some time again. I am glad he did because all I wanted to do was feel his heat next to me.

"I forgive you jerk." He says kissing me on the side of my head. The tip on his lips makes me feel so much better.

"Can I stay with you tonight" I ask as I listen to his heartbeat.

"Yes" he say sas I began to fill with hope. I am hoping everything in the past can be erased.

"So you forgive me and we can start over." I ask wiping my face,

"Yes Dean we can, but we have a lot more things to discuss, but we can do that at a later date." He says smiling with me as I start to see a brighter future.

"Do you love me too?" I have to ask. He might just be trying to be polite.

"Of course you idiot" Cas says as he got up to help me up the ground., As he helps me up I can't help but feel full of hope.

"So night we start over." I say as I pull myself up as I hold his hands. "I mean really start over, we wipe the whole slate clean" I say staring into those blue eyes that give me hope.

"Yes we do." Castiel said pulling him into a kiss. Cas says before he pulls me into a kiss.

"Then, can I top now?" I ask after breaking the kiss. Cas just chuckled as we both walked back into the house.

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**So what did you think? **

**Dean finally said i love you. What do you think will happen next ?**

**Gabriel and Jo aren't still together. Why do you think they aren't?**

**Please tell me what you think. I can update around Thursday night Friday morning but only if you review maybe in the next 24 hours but only if you review. **

**Please tell me. I am off Thursday i can update if you there is more to the story. Trust me there is a lot more you will miss out on. Want to know what review. I can't say it enough review and i will update sooner **


	48. Chapter 48 Dean

**Hello everyone. I didn't think i would be back until Thursday but i got bored. Plus i need to do some to take my mind off the how i met your mother series finale. I was both pleased and annoyed with it. It really should have been called how i have always loved your aunt. Okay but i will stop. That is a totally different show. **

**Here is the next chapter? Thank you Sonya for the review. I know Jo and Gabe need to get together and they will i promise and i will explain why they are together yet, just not now. Maybe next chapter i will explain but right there was something else that needed to happen.**

**Hope you like? Please review.**

**Oh btw there is like 4 more chapters before the story ends **

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**Chapter 48 Dean**

Okay where do I start? Things are going great between Cas and me. It's still complicated but it's getting easier by the day. We somehow managed to work out all of our issues. We even came to a solution about our relationship. After hours of debating. That's what he called it because fighting is when you just yell at each and never reach a solution. Again his words not mine. By the end of our debate I promised to do the one thing he always wanted. I am going to break up with Bella after graduation. Cas of course wanted me to do it right away but after a lengthy debate about what she went through with the miscarriage, plus adding on the fact that her boyfriend of five years was leaving her for another guy I manage to convince him that we should at least give her senior year, before they crushed her all her hopes. I mean I think it will be easier for her to move on if she didn't have to see me five days a week. Cas doesn't think it's a good idea but he will go along with it anyway.

Speaking of Cas. I am actually waiting for him right now. He's in shower and I am sitting at his desk checking my email. I should get on Facebook and play a couple rounds of candy crush since I know Cas takes like half hour showers. I still have twenty five minutes to go.

"We have to talk." I hear Gabriel say out of nowhere. I turn around and look at him and see he has a serious look on his face.

"Is this about Jo" I ask wondering what else he could actually want.

"No" What I am shocked? Normally he always wants to know why she is holding bavk every time I see him.

"Then what is it about?" I ask really confused.

"Look what I am about to say isn't easy. I have given it a lot of thought and I know what I am saying."

"Okay" I say a little weird out. Gabriel takes a deep breath before he looks me in the eyes and says "You have to break up with Cassie."

"What?" I don't believe this Gabriel wants me to break up with him. Why after all this time of him trying to push me to be with him would he want me to leave him.

"Look before you get all loud hear me out." He says pleading with his hands.

"OH I hear you. You want me to break up with the person who I am in love with"

"Yes but it's a little bit more complicated." He says like I am stupid.

"It's not so complicated. You're jealous I finally came around and we are happy and Jo still won't be with you." I shout at him. My blood is boiling. How could he ask such a thing?

"Dean just shut up okay." He yells.

"Why? Why should I shut up. Tell me why I shouldn't tell him?"

"You aren't going to tell him. You are going to break up with him?"

"You keep saying it but you still haven't told me why? I thought we were friends."

"We are friends but he comes first. You think I want this to happen. No I don't but I am only looking out for him." He says as he moves over to the desk. We stay quiet while he flips though a pile of papers and pulls on out. "Here" he says handing it to me.

I say nothing to him as I started to read. First thing I saw ti was from the Office of Admissions at Cornell University.

"Cas got into Cornell." I say still reading the paper. Now I feel like I starting to shake. I see the letter is dated from a month ago.

"Yes, but he's not going." Gabriel says standing back. He says nothing as I register what this means.

"Why isn't he going?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"He is going because he has so much faith in you. He believes you really are going to dump the Brit and be with him. He really thinks you two are going to live happily ever after."

"I am and we are." I say taking offence.

"Not if he gives up his dreams"

"Gabriel I don't know what to say." I really don't. What do I do?

"That's because I am right. I already sent in his paper work saying he is coming. Look I want you two together but not if that means he is going to give up on what he has wanted for so long. I can't let him do that. Cassie might hate me if he ever found out, but I am willing to take that chance. He needs to go and the only thing holding him back is you. Let him go Dean. If you love him you will let him go."

I started to say something when I noticed that the shower had just been turned off.

"Think about it." Gabriel says as he quickly leaves the room.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Cas ask me as he steps back into the room with a towel around his neck as he stood there in his boxers. Looking at him makes me love him even more. I never thought it was possible to be able to feel this way about him. How can I let him go?

"What is this?" What is this? I say standing up still holding the letter. By the way he looks at me I can tell he knows exactly what I am holding.

"It's nothing Dean." He says as he sits down on the bed. Part of me just wants to let it go but I have to ask him about. What Gabriel said made sense but I want to ignore him.

"It's nothing. Cas this is from Cornell University." I say as I walk over and sit down next to him. He smells so good. Like cumbers and melon. I don't why but him and his brother like girl body wash. I'm not complaining though.

"Talk to me: I say once I realized he was looking down at his feet. He looked down at his feet then back up at me.

"Please Dean just forget you ever saw it." He says pleading with me. I wish I could, but I need to talk to him about this. Us not talking about things is how we always end up screwing things up.

"I can't forget seeing this. Cas this is an acceptance letter and on top of that they are offering you a full ride. When did you apply?" I ask waving the paper. I need to know when and why? I thought we would go to school together. I never applied to any schools in New York.

"Forget it Dean. I'm not going." He says looking at me. I almost got lost in his eyes.

"When?" I demanded. I have to keep strong. I will not break, even with him rubbing my leg.

Cast drew his breath in before he answered. "I applied when we were broken up. I didn't think I'd get in nor did I think we would get back together. I forgot all about it until they sent that last month." He says looking guilty.

"So why didn't you tell me about this? Wait isn't this where your mother went?" I ask really starting to feel something in my gut.

"Yes it is Dean." He says like he is bored with the conversation.

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"You know you are starting to sound like a broken record. Can we please drop it?" He says snatching the paper out of my hands. He balls them up and throws it across the room..

"Cas this is something you shouldn't ignore."

"Dean, I am not going okay. I didn't tell you because I didn't think it were of import." He says as he turns to grab my hands.

"Cas baby, it is of import. If you don't go there then where are you going to go?" I am starting to feel like Gabriel might be right. I hate him for bringing this to me. I don't want to lose him.

"To the University of Kansas with you." He says as he kisses me. I started to get lost in the kiss until I realize this is what he wanted all along.

"No we need to talk about this." I say trying to stay focus.

"You know I am starting to miss the days when we didn't talk about things?" He says as he moves back to where he was lying against the head board.

"You can't just give this up. I know you really want to go." I say as I move to be sitting next to him.

"Yeah and how do you know that?" He says as he wraps his arm around me to lie next to him.

"Because I have heard you talk about this many times. Plus your mom went here and it was something you said you wanted to do to honor her." I say as I lay my head on his chest. What will I do if I can't hear this hart beat again?

"Yes it was something but I have changed my mind. I want to do what will make me happy." He says as he lifts my chin so I could look at him. He really looks like he is serious.

"Cas I don't think I would be comfortable with you giving up your dream school for me." I say hoping he would se reason.

"Dean it is not your decision. I want to go to the University of Kansas with you and that is my decision."

"What will your family say when they learn you gave up Cornell?"

"Who's going to tell them? My father does not know I applied and neither does Balthazar."

"What about Gabriel?"

"What about him?"

"Won't he tell someone?"

"I think he couldn't care less. Honestly I think he would happier with me going to the same school as him rather then I move so far away." I don't want him far away.

"Cas I can't let you do this. You have to go." I say as I feel my heart break.

I thought his reaction would be different. I thought he get pissed. I never thought he just smile as he place his hand on the back of my head. He pulled to so our foreheads were touching.

"Your sweet." He says before giving me a small kiss on the lips. "But I already made my choice. I know I will be happy staying here. College is college and if it's good enough for Dean Winchester then it is good enough for me."

"Are you sure?" I say as I wrap my hands around his face.

He said nothing as he pulled me into long passionate kiss. I could drag this out so more but I don't want to. I want him to stay with me.

"Does that tell you I am sure?" Cas says as he breaks the kiss.

"It sure does." I say smiling.

"Good." He says as he places his hand on the back of my head. I looked into his eyes and saw they turned black. "Now get down there and suck my dick. I think it's time I teach you a lesson for going through my things.

What am I supposed to day? I can't tell him how I really found it. Plus I love it when he gets like this. So I think I will say the only thing I can say. "Yes Sir."

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**So what do you think?**

**Are you pissed at Gabriel. Are you shocked he would ask such a thing?**

**Please tell me what you think?**


	49. Chapter 49 Dean

**Here is the next chapter hope you enjoy. So bored i ended up putting out two. Hope you like.**

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**Chapter 49 Dean May **

I love Cas. He is my everything. Losing him is the last thing I want to but I can't get Gabriel out of my head. It would be easier if Gabriel left Cas giving up Cornell alone, but he hasn't. AT least once a week is on my back about it. It would be so easy to ignore if Gabriel wasn't right. Cas might end up resenting me if I let him give up his dream school.

Cas might end up resenting me for giving it up but if I break up with him I might never get him back. He might hate me. Maybe I can move to New York with him. Maybe I can go to some community college until I can get into a four year school. If I do that then I would have to explain things to my family. Yes I am in love with a guy. Yes I don't really desire women but I am not ready to put a label on myself. I could find women attracted, maybe if I find the right one. What am I saying? I have found the right one and him just so happens to be a guy.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR GENDER!" Jo says as she charges though my door like a bat out of hell. She actually scared me. I actually jumped when she came in. I know I did even though I didn't feel myself. I know did because my computer is now on the side of me. Before she came in it was on my lap. I was on the internet looking up schools in New York.

"Hey you ever herd of knocking." I say in an aggressive tone. She never knocks. She really needs to learn. I thought she would have when she walked in on me getting happy with myself but of course she didn't.

"Sorry Dean. I'm just so irritated." She isn't sorry but she is irritated. I realize that as she pulls the chair from my desk to my bad. She sits on it backwards as she rest he head on the back of it.

"What's wrong?" I ask closing my laptop.

"It's two days until prom and I don't have a date." She says sitting up to fold her arms.

"What happen to Ash?" Ash is some computer guy from school. He asked her like a month ago and to my shock she said yes. I really thought she would ask Gabriel.

"That dumb ass went and got himself arrested." She says upset. I think she is more upset she doesn't have a date then him getting locked up.

"What how?" I ask faking shock. I am not really. He is always doing illegal stuff on the computer and isn't shy about it either. Who does that? If you are doing something illegal you should keep it to yourself.

"For hacking into the fucking Pentagon." I could help myself. I just burst out laughing. Yup that sounds like him. The combination of Jo's attitude plus Ash being a genius but always making stupid moves just makes it hilarious. How could it not. I always knew he would get in trouble.

"What is so funny?" She asks giving me a look telling she was not in the mood. I laugh a few seconds more before I finally composed myself.

"Who hacks into the Pentagon? I mean really?" I say as I think about texting Gabriel. He was a little upset she didn't ask him. Poor guy is starting to lose hope.

"According to his sister, he wanted to find proof that aliens exist. Can you believe that his dumb ass." She might be pissed but I don't care. I started laughing again. Don't get me wrong I do feel bad for her but I can totally see Ash doing something like that. "It's not funny Dean. I am going to be the only person at prom without a date." No she isn't. Not if I can help it.

"Why don't you take Gabriel?" I say finally able to stop laughing. Before I tell him to ask her I think I should find out why she didn't ask him in the first place. Gabriel has been acting like he has been innocent this whole time but he could have been lying.

"I can't." She says biting her lip. Her biting her lip is a telltale sign that is she isn't telling me everything.

"Why not?" I say hoping we don't have to do this back and forth. I love Jo and normally I would be willing to go back and forth for hours to help her accept her feelings but I have other pressing matters to worry about. Cas thinks he is going to University of Kansas, but Gabriel arranged for him to go to Cornell. So either way he is leaving. I just have to figure out if I am going with him or if I am staying here. It should be a no brainer but him leaving and me following means something I am not ready for.

"Because he is studying for finals." She says lying.

"And-" I say giving her a look that I know there is more to the story.

"And he is in college and why would he want to go to another prom, when he just went to one last year. Plus there is the added fact I am still not allowed to be with him. Besides why would he want to me? He is in college he might meet some smart girl and realize I am not what he thought he always wanted."

How could I not see it? She is feeling insecure. She has been holding back and driving Gabriel crazy because she is afraid he will leave her.

"You can't think like that. Gabriel is in love with you. He only see's you."

"Does he really? I mean I haven't been the most accepting of us lately." That is true but the poor guy still is waiting.

"No, but come on. The guy has never given up on you. He swears you two are meant to be."

"He might change is mind. Or he might have already had. He hasn't bought up the subject of us in a while."' She says looking so vulnerable.

"Did he say that?" I ask hoping she realizes Gabriel does want to pressure her. He really is. He told me. Gabriel told me he is trying a new approach. He also told me if it doesn't work then he will try to move on.

"NO."

"SO why not ask him?" I say like it was obvious.

"I'm not going to give him the chance to turn me down. Now drop it." She demands while taking a good look at me. I hate it when she does this. She can always tell when something is up with me.

"Why do you have "I'm about to do something stupid look" on your face" She ask changing the subject. I will let her for two reasons; One Gabriel will take her to prom. I will make sure of that and two I need to talk to someone about Cas.

"I do not know what you are talking about?" I lied changing my mind. Maye it's best if the less people knowing the better.

"Yes you do. What were you looking at on the computer?" She says now eyeing my now closed computer. Damn it, I should have left it open. I never close it unless I am trying to hide something.

"Porn" I say hoping she accept it. It would be the first time. She caught me looking at gay porn last year. Yes I watched gay pron. I wanted to see if I could get off to it and I did.

"Liar. Now do I have to fight you on this or are you just going to tell me and I remind you that I am already ticked off about Ash." She says standing up. She took the stance like she was ready to fight. I don't want to fight her. I know she could kick my ass.

"Fine" I say taking a deep breath. "I was looking up things on Cornell University."

"Why would you do that? I thought we were all going to the University of Kansas." She says confused. I guess Cas or Gabriel didn't tell her.

"We are, but Cas got a full ride to go."

"And your upset because he is going." She asks like she was missing something. Not shocked there. If she didn't know Cas got in then Gabriel wouldn't have told her how he is pressuring me to break up with him so he could go. Although I think there is more to it. He could encourage me to go with him but no he wants us to break up. I have to make a note to ask him about that.

"No he said he wasn't going to go and I can't help but think that if we weren't together that he would go." I say lying. It's better if it doesn't get back to Cas.

"OH no you don't" she says holding her head. "I am so sick of you two and your drama. I just wish you two stay together." She says like she is exhausted.

"It's not like that." I say. I have to be careful. I have to make sure I don't have any slip ups.

"You are not about to push him away again." She says not picking up there is more to the story. Thank God.

"I'm not." I don't want to push him away. I just have a decision to make.

"So you weren't thinking of breaking up with him." Okay so she kind of knows what I have been thinking.

"IF I was it is only because I want him to have the best chance out there." That is true. I want him to have the best chance.

"Bull shit. You are using that as an excuse. I bet if this didn't come up you would have found another reason or should I say excuse." She says getting angrier. That is not completely false. Truth is I have felt fear. I have been feeling like if this wouldn't happen then something would have broken us up. I love him but what if I am not enough. What if he really is over what I have done to him in the past.

"Jo I swear I'm not. I just want what's best for him." I really do. Just the thought of not being near him hurts me.

"Then let him decide what is best for him. If he doesn't want to go than accept it. It is his life." It is his life, but people do make mistakes and have regrets. What if I become one of those?

I wanted to argue back with her but I know there was no point. No matter how many ways I try to explain myself, she would just argue I was making an excuse. Even if I told her the truth she still wouldn't accept it. I hate the fact that she can be like a pit-bull with a locked jaw at times, but I can't help but wonder if she was right. I love Cas and it scared me times. Am I really looking for an excuse? Am I just afraid to be happy? Of course i am. No matter what i am going to stay with him. I love him and i can't let him go.

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**So what did you think? **

**Sonya i hope this answer why Gabe and Jo aren't together. **

**Next Chapter will be prom.**

**Don't forget to review. **

**Remember three chapters left until the unforgettable ending. **


	50. Chapter 50 Castiel

**So between me being bored the fact that i am so use to working nights I am updating for the third time. This will be the last chapter for the night. There is only two chapters before this story ends though. I know it's sad but hey it's they way my muse flows.**

**So here you go. Don't forget to review. **

**If you have any questions let me know. I will answer them the nest i can without giving away spoilers. **

**remember only two chapters to go. Review and i will tell u how it ends **

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**Chapter 50 Castiel **

Ugggggg. I am so over tonight even though it hasn't begun. If what happened in tv or books happen in real night then I should be having the best night of my life. I should be happy and I should be having sex tonight. I am not entirely sure about any of those things.

Tonight is the night so many teenagers dream of. Well girls dream of the night, most guys dream about what will happen once the night is over. If you are wondering what I am talking about then let me tell you. It is the night of Dean, Jo, and I senior prom and each of us have different feelings about it. Jo, who does not have a date because Ash was still in police custody, did not want to go. After a pep talk from her mother, Dean, me, and Meg, she finally gritted her teeth and decided to go. I may not want to go but I have my reasons for convincing her. I on the other hand felt different. I wanted Dean to be my date but Meg ended up being my date. I really did not care to go either, but Dean promised me a night to remember once prom was over. I am only going to because of him. Let me make this clear I do not care about prom. I just want to graduate. I want to leave this high school so I can finally have Dean to myself. Oh yeah Dean on the other hand wanted to go and couldn't wait. He had been nominated for prom king and couldn't wait to see if he won. I know he will win. I know he will win because Bella was nominated for prom queen. Too many people in school think they are the perfect couple. I have to laugh. I don't need to tell you why. I think you already know.

"Now don't you boys look so handsome?" Dean's Aunt Ellen says as Dean and myself came walking down the stairs in tour tuxes. Dean has on a white tux with a sky blue tie to match Bella's dress and I have on a black tux with a red tie to match Meg's dress. Despite us matching our dates if we ever got married I pictured us dressing similar to this. You know I am starting to think prom is put on a peddle stool because not every girl gets her wedding. They put so much effort into it because they can't all have both. I mean why not. If you think about it more girl lose their virginities on prom night than their wedding night.

"Well You know I try" Dean says breaking me out of thought as he poses at the foot of the stairs. He does look good. I can't wait to ripe those pants off of him. Here's hoping he can rid of Bella. I can't wait for her to be finally put of the picture. Sometimes I think Dean won't break up with her, but then I remember he has been spending more time with me and he loves me. Once I remember my faith is restored. I know he will leave her in the next couple weeks.

"I can't believe how much you boys have grown up. It seems like only yesterday I was wiping the snot from your noses." Ellen says kissing both of us on the cheeks. She has kind of been like a mom to me. Ever since my mom passed she has always been there for me. Yes there things she doesn't know but she has always welcomed me into her family. For the past six years I have spent every holiday with this family. This family is my family.

"Aunt Ellen." Dean says embarrassed. His comments once again brings me out of my train of thought. His comments makes me wonder what Gabriel is doing?

"Now shut your whining boy" she says as she wipes lipstick off our faces. I really appreciate her for welcoming her home to me over the years. I just she still feels the same way once she learns about me and Dean. I know Jo had a hard time wrapping her head around it. I can't help but think she felt like because of her family. I think Jo only came around because of our friendship and the fact that she is young enough to understand. I hate that. Why do people have to learn to be understanding? Why can't they just know liking the same sex is normal? People learning is like them saying it's not normal but I get it and that is between you and your god.

"Where is Jo?" Ellen ask as she look up at the stairs. I am wondering that too. I am curious to see what she is wearing. She actually dragged me to like ten stores while trying on like a hundred dresses before she decided she didn't want to go. I am curious to see what she is wearing. She tried on so many types of dresses. Some were ball gown, some were mermaid as she put it and some were sexy. She really looked good in those sexy dresses. I couldn't stop staring at her boobs, especially when she had this one green dress on. It looked similar to the one Jennifer Lopez wore to Grammy's. Man I had to remember who she was. I really forgot for a minute.

"She'll be down in few minutes." Dean says not really sure. Last we saw her she was freaking out not having a date. She was refusing to go but we talked to her and she agreed to go. I hope she is still going.

"Okay well in the meantime, let me get a picture of you idjits. This might be the only time I see you two in monkey suits." Bobby says holding up his camera. Dean went to pose withme l when he notice my tie wasn't straight.

"Cas" Dean laughs giving me such a loving look. "You still don't know how to tie a tie I see." He says as he fixes it. As Dean was fixing my tie a flash went off .

"Uncle Bobby" Dean groans turning to him.

"Sorry I accidentally hit the button. Okay, now shut your whining and pose. " He says holding the camera up. As Bobby snapped a picture of me and Dean with ours arms over each other shoulder, Jo walked down stairs in her evening gown. I herd he heels on the step as I turned to look. When I saw her my breath was taken away. Looking at her is like seeing her for the first time.

"I told myself I wasn't going to cry" Ellen says fanning her face.

"Mom please" Jo says rolling her eyes. Looking at her was like looking at a real life version of Cinderella. She looks so beautiful. My brother is a lucky man.

"Wow." I say as I looked at her. I can't take my eyes off of her. I have always found Jo attractive but the way she was looking standing in front of me I can't help but developed a little crush.

"I don't see the point in going when I don't have a date." She says with a bad attitude. You'd think that would be a turn off but it's not. It's not because I know what will happen next.

Bobby started to open his mouth when the doorbell rang. Everybody looked at each other wondering who it was. Of course me and Dean knew but we still played along. As far as anybody knew we were picking the girls up at their houses and Jo did not have a date.

"I'll get it" Dean says heading towards the door. He said it a little eager, but I know why he is making sure he answers the door. When Dean returned everybody was shocked with whom he came back with.

"OH my god." Jo says as she laid eyes on Gabriel. He was standing there with a white lily corsage in his hand while wearing a suit similar to Dean's. I knew he was coming, the other day Dean texted him telling him to be Jo's date. AT first he was so sure thinking she would like it but once Dean explained she was scared her went into superman mood.

"Now I couldn't let Cinderella go to the ball all alone could I." he says smiling at her. This smile is alike th ones they always share. I can tell that tonight is a mile stone for them. Tonight is the night, I hope. I never know what she is thinking.

"Gabriel" Jo says as her eyes tears up. Her looking at him is like she is looking at him for the first time.

"Hello Jo. You look beautiful tonight." He says staring at her while he is beaming. Gabriel gazed at her for a few minutes before he turned toward Bobby and Ellen.

"Ms. Ellen, Mr. Bobby, I know I am the last person you want in your house right now, but before you decide to kick me out please hear me out." He says in a respectable tone.

"Go on," Bobby says eyeing him up and down. I wanted Gabriel to show up at the actually prom but he insisted he do it this way. I didn't think it would be a good idea but it turns out he was right. Booby hasn't hit him or pulled his gun out like I thought.

"First I would like to say I am sorry for disrespecting you and your house a few years ago. I know I caused a lot of problems between you and Jo and I am really sorry for that." I can't believe he is actually taking blame for that. You can say what want about my brother he is loyal. "I want you to know even though my actions did not seem honorable, I have been nothing but honorable to your beautiful, smart, funny, and wonderful daughter." I turn to look at Jo and she was fighting back tears as he spoke. "I want you to know Jo has respected your wishes of staying away from me despite my many embarrassing attempts to get her to go out with me again. But I heard through the grapevine that she did not have a date tonight because some yahoo was too stupid to realize how lucky he was to have her on his arm. So with that being said I would like you know that I am in love with your daughter. I have been ever since I seen her knock out two six foot tall jocks and over these past few years of us being apart I am proud to say my love has grown stronger. I would be honored if you would let me take her to prom tonight." Gabriel says as he finally looks at her as he spoke his last sentence.

We all stood there as Ellen and Bobby studied them. They darted their eyes back and forth like they were thinking about what to do next. We all stood there shocked to see someone like Gabriel declare his feeling in such away. I knew he loved her but I never thought he declare his feelings this way. I always thought he tell her in private when it was just the two of them.

"You love me" Jo barley gets out as he holds back the erg to cry.

"I always have and always will." He says looking at her while she stands at the steps.

Jo couldn't hold back her tears any longer. She cried tears of joy. Gabriel had finally said what we all have been thinking.

"I love you two." She finally says before kissing him. We all watch as they kissed each other with such love. It almost made us want to puke.

I still can't believe Gabriel still kept our secret and still manage to find a way for them to be able to finally be together. That is if Bobby and Ellen bought what he said. After minutes of them kissing like they were the only ones in the room, Ellen cleared her throat to get their attention. After her having to clear her throat a second time they finally broke apart to look at her parents.

"Well son I gotta say that was a moving speech." Bobby says like he was at a loss for words.

"Yes it was, and I know Joanna has been in communication with you lately. I am not stupid." All of us in the room did an oh shit face. "But Jo you did stay away for a long time and it is the end of high school so we see no reason to protest you two being together. You have our blessing." Ellen says as Bobby rolls his eyes "Right Bobby" she says elbowing him in the stomach.

"Right, but remember son I do have a gun collection." He threaten.

"Yes sir" Gabriel says before he took the corsage out the box to put it on her wrist. Jo wholes face lit up. You would never know she never wanted to go.

"Ok now that the chick flick moment is over can we get this show on the road?" Dean says clapping his hands. He can pretend but this was his idea. He came to me saying he wanted Gabriel to be as happy as us and Jo was the only way.

"Absolutely" Jo says as she looks at my brother with such love.

After a few more pictures, Dean and I went to pick up our dates. We all rode in a stretch limo and had a night to remember. Dean won prom king, while Meg won prom queen, so much for Bella winning. Watching them two pose together was amazing. They don't exactly like each other.

After prom we attended a hotel party thrown by one of our class mates Some rich kid through a party in a suite that they got their parents to rent. Bella could not attend the party because she had become ill. Unbeknown to her Meg had put eye drops in her drink when she and Dean were on the dance floor. It might be wrong but I am so happy Meg isn't above stuff like that. After we dropped her off, we went to the hotel party, where Meg met some guy and went off with him. I am not surprised Meg met someone. She told me she was going to meet someone to spend the rest of the night with.

Meg went off with her new found friend while Gabriel used the credit card ours dad gave him to get two rooms. One was for him and Jo, while me and Dean took the other. The room was beautiful. Soon as we entered the room we started making out. We made it all the way to bed before breaking for air. We mange to get our jackets and shirts off before I pushed Dean down on the bed.

Once I pushed him down I climbed on top of him and started kissing him again.

"Wait" Dean says breaking out kiss.

"What is it? " I ask looking at him. Looking at him makes me feel so happy and warm.

"I love you" he says lying back and looking at me.

"I love you too. "I say as I lay across him.

"I want you to know that I am sorry for hurting you through the years. You are the only one I want."

"Dean I feel the same way. I love you so much." I say looking into to his eyes. His eyes look like they are tearing up.

"Cas you have to understand, how much I love you. I know it hasn't been easy and I promise you to always put your best interest first." He says as he holds my face to look into him.

"And I you Dean" I say wondering where this is coming from, I dare not ask. Dean is being vulnerable I will not looked a gifted horse in the mouth.

"Cas listen to me. I will break up with Bella and I will always love you no matter what. Do you hear me?" He says almost pleading.

"I hear you" I say wondering what he means but I just want to enjoy the night.

"Good." He says before he pulls me into a kiss. Once he kissed me again, we spent the entire night proving our love if you know what I mean.

I can't believe I wanted to skip tonight. Tonight might have been what I imagine but him being here with me makes up for him taking her as his date. I can't even think about it anymore. All I know is I have fallen in love with him even more. I didn't think it was possible but I love him more.

"Cas, forever and always I will love you." Is the last thing Dean said to me before th night turned physical.

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**So what do you think?**

**Don't forget to review so i can tell you how it ends **


	51. Chapter 51 Dean

**Hey Thank you for the views and the review ivebeenprocessedbysatan. I know you have read this story and i have read this review and all i have to say is Remember you know how the whole series end. Remember this series was inspired by the story of us by Taylor swift. I will talk about this in chapter 53.**

**Btw the way there is only one chapter left of the story and i will discuss my thoughts in my authors note in chapter 53 on why i called this series the story of us. **

**Please review and i will let you know how it ends in twenty four hours.**

**I am curious to see how you think it will end. **

**Please tell me what you think?**

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**Chapter 51 Dean June **

If you would have told me four years ago that I would in love with my best friend and okay with it I might have knocked you out. If you would have told me that the next four years would have been some of the happiest and some of the hardest moments I will ever experience. I still wouldn't have believed you. Four years ago I started high school in a relationship with a girl I thought I would eventually marry. I never imagined that my life would change so much, but it has.

My life has changed so much and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Yes I have Cas and I wouldn't never disregard him but setting out relationship aside I am talking about graduation. I spent four years in the building that still looks like the inside of a prison. I worked my ass off. I did extra curriculum activities, I stayed out of trouble. I did so much and what do I have to show for it. All I have to show is a graduation.

Now don't get me wrong. I love that fact that I graduated but I hate the fact the four years was celebrated in a matter of two hours. It has come and gone and all I have is a little piece of paper. I think the real reason I am so thrown off is because of what me graduating means. It mean it is time for me to end things with Bella. I am not getting cold feet but I hate that I have to do this. I tried pulling away from her this past months but I don't think she has gotten the message. I assume she thinks that I have just been busy. That's what makes this so hard. She doesn't deserve this. She is such a wonderful person and I owe her so much. I owe her happiness but to give her happiness I have to break up with her. She deserves and who wants her as much as she wants him. She just doesn't know it yet. I swear that is the ongoing theme in my life.

So I should tell you that Cas gave me five days to break up with her. After Meg's graduation party he told me. Cas has been patient and he is trying to be a patient person, but I guess it's only so much a person can ask. I owe him this. Two days has pass and I still have no idea how to do it.I thought about everything I could say, where I could do it and when I would do it and I have nothing. There is nothing I can do or say to make it okay. I have to just do it and hope for the best. I am in love with Cas and only have love for Bella. We both deserve to have what I have.

On day three I decided to take a long walk. While I was walking I thought about everything that had happen to me in the last four years. I thought of all the times I have had with Cas. I thought about when we first met as children, the first time we kissed, the first time we kissed and he felt more than lust which I now know was love. I thought about the passionate nights we shared, I even thought about all the fights we have gotten into. It seems no matter what we have gone though we always seemed to find our way back to each other. I thought of all of this and I realize one thing. Most of the things we have been though was my fault. I put him through so much and he still is here. Does that seem fair?

Then I thought of Bella. I thought of how she has always made me feel, our first time together, the fights we have had, I even thought of the would be child we shared. I was so relieved when she had the miscarriage but I was also sad. I do want to be a father and still hoped that someday I get the chance. I finally thought about all the things I wanted out of life. All the things I wanted to do, what I wanted to study in college, and where I hoped to be in 5 years, then ten, and so on and so forth. By the end of my walk, what I need to do is clear.

By the end of my walk I found myself at Bella's house. It's like the universe wanted me here. I expected my heart to beat so fast that I could hear it but it didn't. I walked up to her door so calm. When I knocked on the front door that when I then found myself nervous as ever. My stomach suddenly starting doing flips. To make matters worse I felt like couldn't stand. I am about to let go of my safety net, I let her go and my future will become uncertain. I know I still have Cas and I am starting to think we are meant to be but that this is still so scary. Everything in me is telling me not to do this because I am afraid I realize I need to brave. I need to get things over with. It was only fair to the people in my life. I am tired of drama and living a double life. It is time I put on my big boy pants and man up.

"Dean" Bella says excited to see me. "What a pleasant surprise." She say smiling. Damn her and that warm smile. I hate what I am about to do.

"Hey Bells, I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk with me?" I ask while trying hide my nervousness.

"Sure." She says after a minute. Regardless of what I feel for her I will never deny her knowing me. I think she might know something is wrong.

Before I could say anything she stepped out her house and closed the door. Walking with her is weird. We both aren't saying anything. We walked for fifteen minutes saying nothing. We finally stopped once we reached the same playground I met Cas. It's like the universe at work.

"Remember this place?" I ask as we walk over to the swings. I met her here too, but the memory is different than when I met him.

"I sure do?" Bella says as she sit down on one of the swings. "Push me Dean" she says so childlike. I smiled as I walked behind her and gave her a small push. Regardless of everything, I really enjoyed her in my life. I hate the thought of her being gone.

"I asked you to be my girlfriend here." I say as I push her. I can't help but smile at the memory. Back then things made so much sense and now they kind of do but they kind of don't.

"Yes you did. I remember looking at you thinking you were nuts." She says as she looks back smiling.

"How could you think that?" I ask forgetting about what I am about to do. I only forgot for a minute. It isn't enough to change my mind.

"We had only known each from school and only a week. I thought how he could ask me when he doesn't know me." She says smiling at memory. You know what neither can I.

"I shared my pudding with you women. Of course you were going to be my girlfriend." I shout at her while I just enjoyed her company for the time being.

"Now if only I can get you to share your pie with me, then I would be your wife." She say like she is joking. She isn't joking like the wife part. She really thinks will be one day. He saying that puts me back in the same mind set I was in when I knocked on her door. Her words hit me so hard I stopped pushing her. She swung forward the back into me like a ton of bricks. Okay I guess it's now or never. I took a deep breath and walked around to face her. I kneeled down and looked her in the eyes.

"Bella, you know I love you right." Maybe that wasn't the way to start off. I just told her I love her and I am down on one way. Maybe I should stand up.

"Yes Dean and I you" she says unsure as I stand up. I don't want to give her any false hope.

"But are you in love with me?" I ask. I waited for her to answer but she just looked at me with confusion written on her on face.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm in love with you." She says like I am stupid. Why did she have to answer like this? I was hoping she say something different, now this just harder.

I took another breath before I spoke. "Bella I ask you this because I think that maybe we have been wrong. Maybe our love is more of a friendship type love." I feel like a weight has been lifted. It's the first time I have ever been honest with her in years. I might have loved her once upon a time but now I don't. I am starting to think I never did.

"What do you mean friendship?" she says as I see panic rise in her. See this is what I was afraid of. If she starts crying I am not sure I can go through with this.

"We have been together five years. You have been by my side being nothing but loving and supportive. You pushed me to be my very best and even when your family thought I wasn't good enough you had my back and thought I was."

"Of course I had your back. I love you." She says making me feel worse. I feel so low.

"And I love you for that but I don't think it's the forever kind of love."

"What?" she whispers motionless. I watch her for a minute as she sits still looking into space. She has been vocal about her feelings her being quiet isn't good. I wish she say something. I wish she say anything.

I watch her again as she stand up and kisses me. At first I kiss her back but I come to my sense and break away from her, kissing her feels wrong. It has for a long time. I now realize what that feeling is.

"I can't" I say as I back up. She says nothing as I stand a few feet back from her. She is standing there looking at me with such hurt in her eyes.

"Bella you were the first girl I ever kissed. The first girl I ever slept with. You were the first person to make me think I could love someone. I think I did love you at one point but now I am thinking it's not true. I am sorry more than you think. You were the one I thought I was going to have a family with, but I am starting to realize that it was just….. wishful thinking." I say feeling like totally shit. It is starting to feel like I am making excuses.

"Ok, but why" she finally ask so calmly. It's almost eerie.

"You know how you see all those divorced couples who stay together to long and they start to hate each other?" I say as I take her hands into mine.

"Yes" yes she says looking at me with tears in her eyes. As long as she doesn't cry I can go through with this.

"Well I believe that will be us if we stay together. I will always be your first love, but I don't think I am your true love." That is the truth. Cas is my first and only love but I am hers. She loves me but we aren't meant to be.

"So you're saying you want to break up."

"Yes" I say feeling sick as I say the word. How can one word make me feel like I want to throw up. She said nothing as she looks off to the side like she is deep in thought. I am going to stand here until she speaks again. I owe her answers. I just hope I can answer them.

"Is there someone else?" she finally asks after like ten minutes.

I knew this question might come up. Especially since she knew I cheated on her in the past. I want to lie but I have been doing that for so long I think it's time I tell he rthe truth. I will tell her even it's only half.

"Yes" I say after I take a deep breath.

"Are you in love?"

"Yes" I answered looking into her eyes. I hate myself right now but I have to do what I have to do.

"How long?" she asks

"Bella I don't think-"

"How long!" she yells at me. What do I do? Do I tell her I have been in love with my best friend for a long time but I was too stupid to realize.

"It has been going on since freshman year." I say. It's the only way I can say with telling her I am in love with another guy. I wanted to tell her the whole truth but I don't know how. I love with him and there are times I wished I loved her more but I can't. Being with her would be so easy, but reality is I can't live without him. He is my everything and I can't give that up.

.

"Fuck you Dean Winchester." She says as she slapped me across the face. I deserved that. No matter I led her on even though I mean to this whole time. " I gave you my heart. I stood up to my family for you. I trusted you. I loved you with all my heart. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you. I carried your child inside of me. I could have been screwing guys all over London when I was there but I could never do that to you. I gave you my virginity, I gave you all of me and you tell me you been screwing some dirty whore behind my back this whole time and that you're in love with someone else. You are so selfish" She cries. Oh god she is crying. I hate it when girls cry. I have to stay strong. I have to think of Cas. I came this far. I can stick it out.

"I'm sorry" I say as I put my head down. I want to take it all back but I can't do this. I owe this to Cas.

"I'm sure you are. That's why you're leaving me to be with someone else. You are such a selfish ass. You only think of yourself. How can you love someone that isn't you." She called me selfish again. Yes I have been selfish but I am not like that anymore, but then again. There have been times when I have been in right. Cas has been at fault at times. How can I be totally selfish.

"I didn't mean for this to happen." I pleading feeling so horrible.

"Save it" she shouts at me "I do not want to hear your lies." She says drying her tears. She went from sad to angry in a matter of seconds.

"I'm not lying." I say standing up. Everything I have said to her is the truth. Yes I left of the fact the other women is a guy and my best friend but she doesn't need to know that.

"Please you have been lying to me for four years, why start telling the truth now." She says before she turns to walk away. "Good-bye Dean. I hope you and your whore are very happy. I only hope you never put her though the heart ache you have cause me." She says over her shoulder before she walks off.

After she is gone I start to think about what she has said. She called me selfish. I admit I have been selfish but not all the time. She doesn't want to me to cause Cas the same heart ache I have caused her but I am starting to think I might have. She can't be right. She said those things out of angry but she might have been right. Is she? I have to know for sure.

I pulled my phone out and called the one person I know who would tell the truth the hole truth.

"Hello" Jo says after a couple rings. I would have called Gabriel but he wants me to break up with Cas and he is kind of pissed I haven't ended things with him.

"Jo I need to ask you something" I say. I called her because she doesn't know about what Gabriel wants me to do. So I know she will give her opinion without being totally bias.

"And it couldn't wait until we both at home" she says kind of out of breath. Oh god I called her why she was in the middle of you know what. I guess I should have stopped when she didn't answer the first time I called her. I had to call her like four time before actually pick up.

"Yes." I say in such a serious tone.

"Okay fine."

"Have I been selfish these past few years?" I ask hoping she tells me I haven't.

"Yes" she says before she hung up.

Damn between telling Bella the truth and Jo telling I am selfish without a thought tells me a lot. Today has been one of the hardest things I ever had to do I feel bad for breaking her heart but I know it is better in the long run then to just lead her on. Plus Jo opened my eyes to a lot. I explain later, but now I need to see Cas. I broke up with Bella, He needs to know.

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**So what did you think. How do you think it ill end.**

**Tell me so i can tell you. I can update tomorrow if you review. **

**How do you think it will end? **


	52. Chapter 52 The End

**So here we are. It's the end of Secrets and Lies. It might be form Gabriel Pov but i promise you it's a must read. It's short but to the point. I hope you like it. **

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**Chapter 52 Gabriel**

Poor Cassie, he is going out of his mind right now. He busted into my room yesterday damn screaming ding dong the bitch is gone. Of course I know what the meant. Dean broke things off with Bella. I actually didn't think he would do it but he did. Maybe I was wrong about him. No I wasn't wrong; one right thing done doesn't make up for all the wrong. It's a strat but Dean has been sent back to start so many time.

Take right now. Cassie has refused to leave the house because he is afraid he will miss dean. It has been twenty four hours since he texted my brother he broke things off with her. Since then it has been radio silence. Of course Cassie has called and text him so many times I lost count but Dean never answered him. Of course I know what this means but Cassie refuses to believe it. He still believes in Dean. It's kind of sweet and sad all at the same time.

It's sad because when I went to get the mail I found an unmarked envelope mixed in. All it says is to Cas. I want to open it but I think he should read it first.

"Cassie." I say as I walk into his room.

"What is it." He says looking up from his book. Poor guy looks a mess. He is trying to stay strong but he isn't doing a good job.

"This is for you. I think it's from Dean." I say as I walk over to his bed to hand it to him.

"From Dean. What is it?" he ask taking it out of my hand.

"I don't know." I say as I watch him stand up to read it. He walks over to the window as he opens the letter and reads it.

"Leave" he says after he is done reading it.

"Why?" I ask wondering what he read. He is kind of being a statue right now.

"I SAID LEAVE" he says throwing the letter at me.

"Okay" I say as I pick up the letter. I quietly walk outside his room and shut the door. Once I am standing on the other side I start to read what Dean has written him.

_Dear, Cas_

_First let me start out by saying I love you. I love you so much. I never thought I would be able to feel this way about anybody. I thought I knew what love was but you came in and showed me what real love is. What we have is real love. I consider myself lucky to have found and even luckier that you love me .I will always be grateful to you. Being in love with you has opened my mind up to a world of possibilities. Your love has changed me in so many ways. Your love has made me realize so many things. Again I love you and I will always love you._

_With that being said I have to break up with you. I love you but I know you are not my soul mate. Before I feel for you I was a normal boy who wanted normal things. Now I am not so normal but I still want normal things. I want to get married someday. I want to have kids. I want to be in love with someone. I want to be able to walk down the street and be able to hold that persons hand without fear or judgment. _

_If I am with you I cannot do any of these things. Please don't hate me. I love you and part of me will always love but the life I want does not include you. You changed me and I enjoyed being with you but I need to change back. Yes we will always have the time we shared but I can't spend any more time with you._

_I am sorry but it's better we do this now why we are still young then to wait years from now to break up. I know we see each other again someday. I just hope when we meet again, that we can be friends again. Until then I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck in life._

_Love_

_Dean_

Omg the son a bitch did it. He broke up with him. I am shocked. Yes I asked him to do this but not like this. I was hoping he ignore me, I was hoping he find a way around it but he didn't.

"_BANG….BANG….BANG"_

What the hell is Cassie is doing in there. I am almost afraid to go in. I can't chicken out now I have to see.

I turn around and open the door. I take a deep breath before I look inside. I wish I didn't. Cassie is in his room with a baseball bat in his hand hitting the wall. I look around and he is swing at everything putting hole in the wall.

"Cassie stop!" I yell as I charge at him. I quickly grab the bat but he has a firm grip.

"Let go." He says trying to pull the bat from me.

"NO!" I say as I yack the bat from him.

I look my baby brother in the eye and I feel nothing but regret. He is hurt and I caused it. What did I do?

"Cassie I am so sorry." I say as I throw he bat down.

He say nothing as drops to his knee and start to cry. I haven't seen him cry since our mom died.

"Cassie please." I beg as I drop down to his eye level.

"He left me" he cried.

"I know." I say as I pull him into my embrace.

Cassie says nothing as I hold him while he cries into my shirt. I mean he is really crying. I think he got snot on my shirt.

How could I do this? I broke my little brothers heart. His pain is my fault. What was I thinking. I want what is best for him but not like this. He has always been so strong. No matter what he and Dean went though he always came out on top. Now he is broken and at his lowest.

I can't see him like this? I am going to fix this. No matter what. It isn't fair that I have happiness and he doesn't. One way or another I am going to fix this. I swear on my mother someday I will fix this, but right now this is best.

_**THE END**_

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**So Dean left Cas a dear john letter. So not far? What do you think will happen? **

**Please don't hate me. **

**Good or bad i would like to know what you thought of this story.**

**Is it better than the original. What do you think Of Gabriel? Do you think he had the right intentions?**

**Can Cas and Dean find they were back to each either.**

**Was Dean wrong for sending a letter?  
stay tuned for an authors note **


	53. Chapter 53

**I know you gave read this note already but check the p.s **

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Hello,

I hope you guys enjoyed the ending. I know it wasn't a typical ending to a destiel story but hey things don't always work out. I would like to thank you for reading Secrets and Lies Part 1.

Now if you would like I can write a sequel. I have one in mind. The first time around when I wrote the sequel I jumped ahead eight years but that is not what I have in mind. For those of you who know the story should know. Everything is changing. My next story if you would like to read it will pick up a year later in college .

SO if you would like to know what happens next for our two couples. Please let me know. If not I can leave it here.

Peace and Love Alex

P.S.

check out the next chapter


	54. Chapter 54

p.s.

Thank you ivebeepocessedbysatan ,Sonya, and guest. I will make a sequel. I am glad you enjoyed. i am writing for you guys. Look out for the sequel in the next week. I do not know the name yet but it will be the story of us part 2. i am glad you enjoyed. I hope you liked the next story. I am thinking of the titles 1. Is It Chip? Is It Broken? Or is It Just Shattered 2. Can I? 3. When You forgive but Can't Forget 4. Doe it got to be you? 5. We don't know What we Are Doing. Tell me what you think. Pick a title and i will write the story but you should know the title you pick will dictate the story i write

keep in mind i am writing about 2 sets of couples.

I am sorry for any grammar or spelling error. I wrote while drunk

peace and love,

Alex


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